by Sarah Price
“Am I that transparent?” she asked.
He laughed. She liked the sound of it. The stress from working so hard and the worry over his new role in the community had stolen laughter from her house. “Nee, Rosanna. Just a creature of habit and, when it comes to taking care of others before yourself, predictable.”
She wasn’t certain whether he meant that as a compliment or not. However, the levity of his mood quickly eliminated her concern.
“Let’s go outside and find the kinner,” he said. “I know they are both rather excited with their news.”
Obediently she followed Reuben. He held the door open for her, and as she stepped across the threshold, she paused. The yard was freshly clipped, the flower beds were weeded, and the fence along the driveway had been freshly painted. But that wasn’t what caught her attention. It was the stockade-style wooden fence that lined a large section of the property behind her garden. Six feet high and made of fresh pine, she couldn’t miss it.
“Oh!” Her hand went to her throat, and she took a step onto the porch.
In front of the new fence were twelve large evergreen trees that covered most of the fencing so that it wasn’t so shocking to see. With the exception of the peak of the roof and chimney, she could barely see the Smiths’ house or property.
Immediately she knew that Reuben had arranged for this surprise.
“What . . . what is this?” she asked.
Reuben’s hand pressed gently on the small of her back as he encouraged her to leave the shade of the porch. “I’ll let the kinner explain,” he replied, guiding her down the steps and toward the barn.
They found Aaron grooming his horse. Cate was stretched out atop a bale of hay playing with an orange kitten. Silently Rosanna stood in the doorway, enjoying the opportunity to observe her two children before they detected her presence. For the first time in longer than she could remember, she felt an emotion akin to joy. Aaron had turned into a young man, resembling his father in build but his mother in temperament, for which she was most grateful. As for Cate, whose dirty feet pressed against the barn wall as she dangled a piece of straw for the kitten to grasp, she was a miniature version of Rosanna.
How remarkable they are, Rosanna thought. Gifts from God.
Swallowing the emotions that rose to her throat, she took a step inside the barn. Both children looked up at the same moment. Cate immediately scrambled to her feet and ran to throw her arms around Rosanna’s waist. More reserved with his affection, Aaron smiled and set down the grooming tool before opening the stall door.
“Did you see it? Did you see it?” Cate practically jumped up and down with excitement.
“If you mean the fence,” Rosanna laughed, trying to contain her enthusiastic daughter, “ja, I couldn’t help but see it.”
“It was my idea!”
“Cate . . .” Reuben said, and at the sound of her name, Cate made a face and rolled her eyes.
“And Aaron, too.” The overly dramatic reluctance to share credit with her brother made even her stepfather chuckle.
As a family, they walked out of the barn to the edge of the garden. Cate practically pranced as she pointed out each tree. She acknowledged that Aaron and Daniel had planted most of them, but was quick to add that she helped with watering them every morning and evening.
“I’m not quite certain what to say,” Rosanna said. “Whatever made you think of doing such a thing? And the expense!”
This time it was Aaron who spoke up. “Don’t you worry none about that, Maem. Daniel and I put in the posts, and Reuben nailed the fencing.”
Cate poked her brother’s arm. “I helped, too!” She looked at her mother. “I held the fencing while Reuben hit the nails.”
Aaron strapped his thumbs under his black suspenders and tugged at them gently. The smile on his face showed his delight at having surprised his mother. “We all agreed that sometimes good fences make better neighbors.”
“We may be told to love thy neighbor, but the Bible also says ‘And I will give peace in the land, and you shall lie down, and none shall make you afraid.’ ” Reuben paused. “No one should live in fear of abuse, Rosanna, especially a woman who sacrifices so much of herself for the good of others.” His voice caught, especially when he said the word “abused.” “Living in fear drives people to dark places. We want you to only see light.”
Darkness and light. She was only now realizing how long her life had been surrounded in darkness. The clouds seemed to be slowly lifting from her vision, and while she knew that it would take a long time until her darkest days were behind her, she felt strong enough to face the journey.
“Spoken like a true preacher,” she managed to say. With a soft smile and tears in her eyes that she fought hard not to spill, she reached out and touched her husband’s arm. It was a gentle touch that said what she really thought. When he nodded his head, she knew he understood. Forgiveness had been granted, not just by Reuben, but by herself.
It was time to move on from the past and to embrace the future.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Something just isn’t adding up here,” Reuben said as he lifted his hands, receipts falling from his fingertips. They scattered like large snowflakes across the tabletop. He didn’t move to pick them up. “Mayhaps it’s me,” he sighed, talking more to himself than to her. Frustrated, he ran his fingers through his hair, causing his graying curls to stand up in a wild mess atop his head.
Two weeks had passed since Rosanna had left her bed, and a new sense of calm had fallen over the house. Although Rosanna didn’t feel completely better, and moments of darkness still snuck into her life, she could sense that the medicine was beginning to work. The doctor had explained that it could take up to six weeks for her to feel the full effect. Rosanna was just glad that the tremors in her hands and palpitations in her heart seemed to have disappeared.
With autumn just around the corner and his first sermon on the horizon, Reuben had quietly turned over the management of order fulfillment to Daniel and assigned Martin to visit remote farms to pick up and drop off items each Saturday. His decision to involve the two men came after much reflection—and after hearing a whisper or two about Nan’s behavior at the youth gatherings.
Reuben hadn’t shared his decisions about these changes with Rosanna. Instead, she learned this information from Aaron. And at night, Daniel often talked about the items that he made for different customers. She noticed a new vivaciousness to his conversation contributions, especially when he talked about the Englischer man from Vermont who came into the store for a brand-new harness, complete with fancy studding to dress it up for the holidays.
Several days a week, Daniel brought home the order log, accounting book, and customer receipts. Reuben liked to review them after supper, and tonight was one of those nights.
The look of concern on Reuben’s face worried Rosanna. She knew that his books were always in order. He was meticulous with his accounting. If something was a problem, the error was certainly not his fault.
“What’s wrong?” She peered over his shoulder, trying to look at the pieces of paper.
“Petersheim’s order,” he said, tapping his finger on the tabletop. “I can’t find it, Rosanna.” He explored the papers again, shoving some aside as he looked through the pile. When he still didn’t find it, he slapped his palm against the table. “I know that I took that order from him. Why, it was just two weeks ago!” Frustrated, he turned to look at Rosanna. “Just after Elias Beiler passed and the lot . . .”
He didn’t have to finish his sentence. Life had been chaotic since then. What with Reuben becoming a preacher and Rosanna’s illness, he certainly had enough on his mind. It could have gotten lost. However, Rosanna knew it was highly unlikely that Reuben would lose an order. His attention to detail was well known, which was likely one of the reasons why the members of the g’may had voted for him.
“You have been rather busy,” she said softly.
“But I’ve never lost an o
rder.”
She smiled. “You’ve never been a preacher, either.”
Her comment made him chuckle. He removed his glasses and set them on top of the papers. She watched as he rubbed his eyes. She saw a weariness in his somber expression and downtrodden posture, but the mask that he wore demonstrated his strength in dealing with stress. Rosanna wished that she could mirror that strength, but she also knew that her protective shell had been chipped away during the last few years. It was not so easy to hide her vulnerability, even with the medicine from the doctor.
Still, she tried to put on a brave face for Reuben. His willingness to stand by her side during her mental breakdown gave her the courage to support him. “Mayhaps I could look through your order book, Reuben,” she offered. “Sometimes a fresh set of eyes . . .”
Without hesitation, he pushed the papers aside and picked up the small journal where he recorded his orders. He handed it to her and sighed. “It’s just not there, but have a look.”
She opened the journal and looked at the first page. She immediately recognized Reuben’s neat handwriting: small letters that looped elegantly but evenly across each page. There was an occasional black smudge where he must have erased something. Flipping through the pages, she looked down the date column, searching for two weeks ago. It didn’t take her long to see a pattern. Slowly but surely the orders had increased over the past two months. She also noticed that Reuben’s neat handwriting had been replaced with small, childish penmanship.
“Is that Nan’s handwriting, then?” She pointed to a row and tilted the book so that Reuben could see.
He squinted as he tried to focus on the ledger. Without his asking, Rosanna handed him his glasses, and he slipped them on. He nodded. “Ja, Nan’s.”
Rosanna fought the urge to clench her teeth. She used the calming techniques the doctor had taught her. Slowly she inhaled and exhaled. Her eyes skimmed the page, and when she came to the end, she turned to the next one.
That was when she saw it. The smudge was barely visible, but it was there.
Rosanna lifted the ledger and peered closely at the row. Sure enough, something had been erased and written over in pen. Scanning the row, she looked for the date. It coincided with the time frame when Reuben believed Kenneth Petersheim had placed his order. But instead of an $800 harness, the line documented a small order for leather lead shanks.
“Do you remember Eli Yoder ordering four lead shanks?” she asked.
Reuben frowned. “Four lead shanks?”
She nodded. “Made of leather.”
He frowned as he tried to recall. “His cousin came in just a few days ago asking for a few lead shanks. Was going to sell them at his own store. I didn’t pay much attention to it.”
Rosanna took another slow, deep breath, and then asked, “Did Nan take the order?”
“I do believe she did.”
Quietly Rosanna flipped a few pages in the ledger and looked for any indication of another Yoder request for lead shanks . . . or anyone, for that matter. There was definitely no record of the Petersheim order. Without it being in the book, no one would fulfill it. Ken would wait for a long time, thinking that the Troyer Harness Shop was backlogged. Everyone knew how busy they were, especially with Reuben’s new role in the church. Then Ken would probably just go to another harness store rather than bother Reuben. But he’d certainly remember the fact that his order had been forgotten. At least, that’s the scenario that played out in Rosanna’s head.
But she knew that was only the end of the story. What was the beginning? An idea began to formulate in Rosanna’s mind. Someone had deliberately erased the order and replaced it with one that was less significant. There was only one reason someone would do that—to sabotage the business.
“Oh help,” she muttered.
Even if what she suspected had happened, Rosanna didn’t want to be the one who said it aloud.
Reuben saw how still she had become and reached out to touch her hand. “What is it?”
Shutting the book, Rosanna handed it back to him. She shook her head. “It’s nothing, really.”
His eyes drilled into hers. “What did you see, Rosanna?”
Only when she saw how serious he had become—and how worn out he looked—did she sigh and reopen the book. “There’s no listing for any other lead shanks in the book except here . . .” She pointed to a line on the page that had been entered over two weeks ago. “If you look closely, it was written over something else that was erased.”
She watched him read and then reread the same line. Then, as if he didn’t believe her, he turned the next two pages and read the entries. If he was trying to find another Yoder order, it wasn’t there.
“The copies of customer receipts are correct and match with the accounting book. This doesn’t make sense,” he admitted, peering up at her from over the rim of his eyeglasses. “What does this mean? Why would Nan erase an older order?” he asked more to himself than to Rosanna.
Rosanna didn’t want to remind Reuben that Daniel had made a comment just two nights before about Nan sending Martin to the wrong farm the previous Saturday. According to Daniel, when Martin confronted Nan, she hadn’t apologized for the mistake, which was costly in both money and time. Instead, she had acted nonchalant and even defensive.
At that time, Reuben hadn’t seemed concerned about the story. But now he appeared to be slowly realizing that the missing order indicated deception by someone at his shop. “Are you suggesting . . . ?”
Rosanna lifted her hands as if warding off danger. “I’m not suggesting anything, Reuben,” she said quickly. “I am not partial to Nan Keel. You know that. Therefore, I’m not in any position to speculate about her actions . . . or the reasons behind them.”
Reuben took a deep breath. As he exhaled, he wrapped his hand around hers in a gesture of comfort. “I know that, Rosanna. You’d sooner take the Lord’s name in vain than talk negative about another.” He forced a small smile. “I need to wrap my head around this, I reckon. It just doesn’t make sense.”
Silently, Rosanna agreed with that statement. If Nan had deliberately erased Reuben’s writing, it could mean only one thing: she wanted Reuben to forget the Petersheim order on purpose. Had Nan thought that Ken Petersheim would not speak with Reuben about his order the next time they met? Could she possibly believe that no one would discover such duplicity? Regardless of her reasons for doing it, Reuben had discovered what Nan had done, and the fact that she had purposefully erased the order did not make her appear honest.
For a long time Reuben sat in the chair, stunned by the possibility that Nan had deceived him. Rosanna could see it on his face. He was completely unprepared for such a dishonest action from one of his employees. Having his trust shaken like that must be breaking his heart. Seeing Reuben in such pain pained her.
“I . . . I need to go outside for a spell,” he mumbled. “Mayhaps see if Aaron needs some help in the barn.”
As Reuben left the house with his head hung down, he passed Cate in the doorway. His arm brushed against hers, but he didn’t seem to notice. Cate turned aside so that he could pass. When he didn’t even acknowledge her presence, she frowned and watched after him. Rosanna walked to the door and placed her hand on Cate’s shoulder, following her daughter’s gaze.
“What’s wrong with Reuben?” Cate asked, her eyes big and concerned.
“Nothing that you need to worry about,” Rosanna responded softly, a gentle reminder for Cate to mind her own business.
But Cate’s interest in her stepfather’s solemnity was stronger than her sense of obedience. “Something happen at the shop?”
“Cate,” Rosanna said; the single word was spoken as a firm warning. Her eyes shifted back toward the barn, and she watched as Reuben disappeared through the doorway to where Aaron and Daniel were working. “What do you say we go pick some fresh zucchini from the garden?”
Defiantly, Cate lifted an eyebrow. “I’m not going out there alone.”
“Cate!” This time Rosanna’s voice scolded rather than warned. At the hurt look on her face, Rosanna softened her tone and added, “And I said ‘we,’ Cate.”
Relief replaced Cate’s pained expression. “That old woman scares me, Maem,” Cate said. “She’s just the meanest person in the world.”
Even if she secretly agreed with her daughter, Rosanna tried to downplay Gloria’s malevolence. “Not so scary anymore, I reckon. We have that fence to give us privacy from her.”
Cate added, “And the trees! Don’t forget the trees.”
“Ja, the trees, too,” Rosanna said, smiling.
While the fence blocked her view of the Smiths’ house and yard, their voices still carried to her ears. They were constantly complaining, yelling, and sometimes even swearing. Gradually, however, their presence on the other side of the fence seemed to diminish. Rosanna wasn’t certain whether the two women had lost interest in her because they couldn’t witness a reaction, or that she simply couldn’t hear them over the fence and the new foliage. Either way, Rosanna had begun to find the strength and courage to walk out the kitchen door and work in her own garden.
Although the stockade fence hid Gloria’s house from view, in the beginning, Rosanna found it unattractive. The freshly cut pine wood looked too obvious, even with the evergreen trees. Once, when the bishop visited, both Rosanna and Reuben noticed him looking curiously at the new addition to their property.
“A neighbor issue,” Reuben had admitted.
“Ah.” The bishop pursed his lips and nodded his head as if understanding the situation without any further explanation.
Nothing else had been said about the fence.
But now the fence seemed as if it had always been there. Rosanna appreciated the expense of erecting it, and she knew that the peace of mind that it offered her was invaluable.
Together, Cate and Rosanna walked out to the garden. Their bare feet left soft footprints in the dirt. The plastic bucket on Rosanna’s arm was quickly filled with green zucchinis and yellow squash. The cucumbers were plentiful, too, and Rosanna made a mental note to pickle some for the winter. She had a lot of work ahead of her. Beets needed to be canned, chowchow needed to be made, and, at some point, she needed to see about getting beef to can for the winter. The summer seemed to have flown by, and too much time had been wasted.