“It’s Callie Lawrence.” I move my arm away from her to grab a plastic cup off the top of the stack on the counter. “She goes to school here. Her dad was actually my coach back in high school.”
Callie lets go of my waist. With her hands out to the side of her, she attempts to control her balance as I turn the faucet on to fill up the cup.
“So, your father is a coach?” Ben leans back against the counter as the girl he was talking to wanders over to the bar to fill up a glass.
“Yeah, he’s been one for like twenty years or something,” Callie says with a slight slur to her speech.
“Did he teach you stuff?” Ben asks, crossing his arms. I don’t like the teasing tone in his voice. “Like what the plays are or how to throw and catch a ball?”
I turn around with a glass of water in my hand as Callie rolls her eyes at him. “Obviously, like I know that you’re the receiver.” She blinks her eyes, mockingly. “Which means you catch the ball.”
“Well, aren’t you just adorable.” Ben takes a step toward her with a look of fascination on his face.
My hand goes up against his chest to push him back. “No way. She’s off limits.”
Ben looks at me apologetically as I hand the glass of water to Callie and she tips her head back, downing it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were dating her.”
I don’t bother to correct him, for many reasons, some of which are really fucked up. When he leaves the kitchen, Callie moves the cup away from her mouth and licks the water off her lips, making me think dirty thoughts I know I can’t act on.
“He’s kind of an asshole,” she says, handing the cup back to me.
I crush it and toss it in the trashcan. “And you’re kind of feisty when you’re this drunk.”
When I face her again, she’s chewing on her bottom lip with her gaze boring into me. “Do you like that I’m feisty? Does it make you want me?”
Oh, fucking shit. She is wasted. “How about we get you home?”
She shakes her head, backing toward the counter with unsteady legs. Gripping the edge, she hops onto it and bumps her head on the cupboard. “I want to know.” She rubs her head, shooting a dirty look at the cupboard like it did something wrong. “When I’m like this, does it make you want me?”
I glance over my shoulder, praying to God Seth will walk in here and save me from this uncomfortable conversation. “I don’t know, Callie.”
She pouts out her bottom lip. “It’s because you don’t want me at all, isn’t it?”
Sighing, I put my hands down on the counter so she’s in between my arms. “No, it’s not that. Trust me. It’s just that I don’t want to have this conversation with you when you’re not going to remember it.”
She leans forward, reducing the gap between our faces. “I’ll remember it. I promise.”
I try not to laugh at her, clenching my hands into fists to resist the urge to slide them onto her hips. “Alright you want the truth?” I ask and she bobs her head up and down. “No, I don’t like you better this way. I like the sober Callie, the one that I can talk to. The one that is so sweet it’s fucking adorable.” I dip my face forward and breathe on her neck, moving toward the no touching line, but not crossing it. “The one that trembles just from the feel of my breath. The one that I want to kiss and touch so fucking badly it drives me crazy. The one that makes me feel things…” I trail off and incline away, glad to see that her eyelids are only half open. That way I know I’m still safe.
“I’m tired.” She yawns, stretching her arms above her and I catch a glimpse of her bare stomach; flat, tiny, and firm. “Can you find Seth so he can take me home?”
I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Yeah, you come with me, though. I don’t want to leave you here alone.”
She nods, hopping off the counter, and I drape my arm around her back to hold her steady. We search the house, but Seth isn’t anywhere. I find Luke at the poker table, playing a hand, cheating just like his father taught him.
“Hey, man, I’m going to take Callie home,” I say as he glances up at me from his cards. “If you see Seth, would you tell him?”
Luke nods and then his eyes dash to the red and blue chips in front of him. “Yeah, man will do.”
Callie buries her face into my shirt as we walk out the door and into the quiet hallway. She leans her weight on me and I guide her down the stairs and out the doors. The air is chilly and she shivers against me.
“Where’s your jacket?” I ask, rubbing my hand up and down her arm.
She shrugs as she stumbles over the curb and I catch her with my arm. Her eyes are barely open and she keeps sighing. Finally, I give up and stop in the middle of the sidewalk.
She blinks up at me. “What’s wrong?”
I let go of her and speak slow because I know she’s struggling to comprehend anything that’s going on. “I’m going to pick you up and carry you back. Is that okay?”
She eyes my hands and then reverts her gaze to me. “Okay.”
I step cautiously toward her. “Put your arms around my neck.”
She obeys, sliding her hands up my chest and hooking them around my neck. She rests her head against my chest as I wrap my arm around her back. Bending my knees, I put my other arm underneath her legs and scoop her up into my arms. She nuzzles her face into my chest as I start up the sidewalk. I take my time because I love how it feels to carry her, the way she needs me, the way I need to protect her.
By the time I reach the McIntyre residence hall, I’m working really hard not to panic that I have to put her down. “Callie, where’s your ID card?” I ask. “I didn’t bring mine.”
“In my pocket,” she murmurs, reaching for it, but her arm falls slack to her side. “I’m too tired to get it out.”
“Try again, okay?” I practically beg by she’s nonresponsive.
Emptying my mind of any potential dirty thoughts, I brace her against my chest and slip my fingers into her pocket, quickly pulling her card out. Swiping it through the lock, the door unlocks and I get us inside. I take the elevators to the upper floor and find her room. When I extend my hand for the doorknob, she wakes up and grabs a hold of my arm.
“No, don’t open it,” she says, nodding at the red scarf tied around the doorknob. “That means my roommate is… she’s… preoccupied.”
I try not to laugh at the fact that even when she’s drunk, she has a hard time saying it. “Where do you want me to take you?”
She drops her head back against my chest. “You can just keep carrying me. It’s very relaxing.”
“What about Seth’s room?”
Her eyelids are shut and her warm breath flows through my shirt. “You’ll have to go get him…”
My shoulders slump as I shift her body inward toward my chest and start down the hall to my right. When I step outside, I walk across the grass to the Downy building and take the elevator to my room.
“Callie, I have to set you down while I get the door open,” I whisper in her ear.
She nods and I carefully lower her feet to the ground. She leans back against the wall, her eyelids closing. I tap my fingers against the lock, pushing the code, and then shove the door open. Flipping the lights on, I step back and pick her up, carrying her inside. Kneeling down on the bed, I lower her onto the mattress, gently setting her down. She rolls to her side as I stand back up and figure out what I’m going to do. I could sleep in Luke’s bed, but he’ll chew my ass out when he shows up.
“Where are you going to sleep?” She eyes me as I kick off my boots into a corner.
“That’s what I was trying to figure out.” I stare at her with hesitance. “Is it okay if I lay down by you?”
Her eyes enlarge a little and hesitantly, she wiggles her body, scooting over toward the wall. I lay down on my side, keeping space between us as her eyelids close.
“I’ve never shared a bed with anyone besides Seth,” she mutters. “I can’t sleep when I’m lying by someone else.”
I start to roll
out of the bed. “That’s okay. I’ll go find somewhere else to sleep.”
Her fingers wrap around my arm. “You don’t have to go anywhere. I feel safe with you.”
I pause. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, you make it seem like everything he did doesn’t exist.”
“Callie, what are you talking about?”
“It doesn’t matter.” She yawns and inches a little closer to me, tucking her hands under her cheek and curling her knees up. “I’m tired.”
My hand shakes a little as I reach out and smooth her hair back from her forehead. “It’s okay. You can go to sleep.”
She nods her head and seconds later, the sound of her soft breathing surrounds me. Without even thinking, I lean over and gently kiss her forehead, wondering what the hell I’m going to do when morning rolls around.
Chapter 12
#12 See How Far You Can Go With Something You’re Afraid Of
Callie
When I open my eyes, my skull feels like it’s cracked and my brain is throbbing. I’m aware right away that I’m not in my room. There are guy’s clothes all over the floor, a Play Station on a shelf near a flat screen television, and the blankets pulled over me smell like the cologne Kayden wears.
My eyes widen as I sit up in the bed, racking my brain for details of what happened last night. I remember Seth asking me what I wanted to do and I told him I wanted to have fun. So he took me out and we ended up getting drunk. After that, everything becomes hazy, but for some reason I can picture staring up at the stars while someone carries me.
The door to my right squeaks as Kayden enters the room holding two coffee cups. He’s wearing a hooded black thermal shirt that shows off his lean arms and his jeans hang at his hips.
He does a double take when he sees that I’m awake. “For a while, I thought you were going to sleep all day.”
Sunlight flickers through the window as I glance at the clock hanging on the wall above the bed. “Holy crap, it’s almost dinnertime?” The thought of food squeezes at my stomach.
He hands me a coffee and I gladly take it. “Seth told me that you love lattes.”
I nod, taking a swallow. It tastes divine. “God, my head hurts so badly.”
He balances the other cup on the nightstand. “That usually happens when you drink too much.”
I lower the cup away from my face. “Kayden… I can’t… I don’t know what happened.”
He sits down on the bed beside me and the mattress concaves under his weight. “Well, I only got the privilege of witnessing the last half of the night, but from what I heard, Seth said you drank a ton of vodka. By the time I met up with you at Ben’s party, you were trashed.”
I wince. “Did I do anything… weird?”
“Not really. You had to sleep here because I lost track of Seth and there was a red scarf on your door.”
“Where did you sleep?”
He tenses, looking guilty. “Next to you.”
I lick the froth from my lips and stare out the window at the clear blue sky. “If I remember right, you had to carry me?”
He nods. “You could barely walk… I didn’t mind doing it, though.”
I pull the blanket off my body and slide my feet over the edge of the bed. “I should probably go take a shower and try to eat. Although, I feel like puking my guts out.”
He places a hand on my leg, enfolding his fingers around my knee. “I actually want you to come somewhere with me. There’s something really important I need to tell you… It’s about what happened that night at the pool house.” There’s heaviness in his eyes and stiffness in his voice.
“Okay,” I say. “Do I have to go with you now? Or can I shower first? I feel really gross.”
He laughs at me. “You can shower first. I’ll wait for you out on the benches.”
I get to my feet with a sudden urge to hug him. “Alright, I’ll make it quick.” I head for the door, but pause as I turn the knob. “Kayden, thank you for taking care of me last night.”
“It’s not that big of a deal.” He hesitates. “I owe you a lot more nights of that before we’ll ever be even.”
Kayden
I hardly slept last night. I lay in bed, listening to Callie breathe, trying to match my own breathing to the rhythm. Part of me wished she’d just stay asleep, so I could continue to lie next to her.
By the time the sun rose above the mountains, I decided it was time to tell her the truth, so she knew what she was getting into. Then she can decide if she really wants me, because I can’t seem to stay away from her.
I’m nervous as fucking hell as I drive up the mountain where we took our first hike together. I park the truck near the tree line and we hop out, walking below the blue sky toward the hills.
“We’re really going to climb up there again?” she asks, staring up at the top of the cliff as we approach it. Her hair is scattered across her back and her arms are crossed over her chest.
I mount onto a boulder that’s on the side of the path and gaze out at the view. “It’s quiet today.” I sit down on the rock and pat the spot next to me. “Come sit down by me.”
She shuffles toward me and I offer her my hand to pull her up. She situates beside me, rests back on her palms, and gazes out at the hills in front of us. I shut my eyes for a moment, feeling everything, knowing it’s going to go either good or bad when I tell her.
“That night you showed up and my father was beating my ass,” I start before I can back out, “wasn’t the first time that he hit me."
She doesn’t act surprised. “How many times has he hit you?”
I watch a leaf float in front of us, drifting up and down, before blowing out across the spacious land. “I don’t know… I lost track around the age of seven or something.”
She sucks in a sharp breath and her head angles to the side so she’s looking at me. “He hit you like that when you were little?”
I shrug, like it’s no big deal. “It’s just something he did, you know? More when he was drunk, although he did do it when he was sober. He didn’t like things that we did and instead of grounding us or taking away our toys, he would hit and yell at us.”
She stays silent for a long time as she studies the clouds in the sky. “What did you do to make him mad that night?”
“I hurt my hand.” I flex my fingers out in front of me, not telling her that I did it on purpose. I’m not ready for that. “He was worried I was going to ruin my football career.”
She grows quiet again. “Why did you never do anything about it? Tell someone? Or fight back?”
And there it is. What I was waiting for. She’s realizing how fucked up the situation is. “I don’t know. At first I guess it was because I was too young to understand and by the time I got old enough to do something about it, I just didn’t care. Sometimes it feels like I’ve died inside.” I shrug and then shrug again, forcing myself to look at her.
She arches her eyebrows at me, confounded, but there’s no judgment in her eyes. “You didn’t care that he hit you?”
I shut my eyes and inhale the cool air. “That’s why I’m telling you this. I just don’t do feelings very well and I’m probably going to shut down and do a lot of fucked up things. You need to just stay away from me.”
It’s silent and I open my eyelids, half expecting her to be gone, but she’s watching me, her chest rising and falling with her breathing. She stares at me and then shifts her weight, scooting toward me and I tense. Kneeling up, she hitches her leg over my lap and encloses her arms around my neck, resting her head against my shoulder. She hugs me tightly and my eyes widen, my whole body constricting as I try to keep my hands off her, not knowing what to do or how to react. After a while her scent and warmth get to me and my hands slide up to the bottom of her back. Shutting my eyes, I hug her back with everything I have in me.
Callie
There is something about someone trusting you enough with their secrets that it makes it easier to trust them. It’s like they
’re opening their heart and in return yours should open up to them, too.
Kayden opened up to me and I wanted to open up back, but I couldn’t. Not completely anyway. I want to. I want him so much that I don’t know what to do with myself.
I want him. I want him. I want him.
No matter how many times I write it, it still doesn’t feel real. None of this does, because I never believed it would happen.
Someone knocks on my door and I climb off the bed to answer it. Kayden is on the other side with a football cradled under his arm. Instead of wearing his uniform, he’s dressed in a nice pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt. His brown hair flips up beneath a black baseball hat.
The Coincidence of Callie and Kayden Page 19