Reaching to my side, I pick up a knife, my hand unsteady as I put the tip to my forearm. It’s what I’ve done for ages to shut it off. It started when I was seven when I realized that cutting myself helped me breathe—helped me live through the hell of life. It’s my fucked up secret; the darkness that lives within me. With every incision into my skin, the pain begins to subside as blood covers the floor.
Callie
I wake up to an empty bed and panic erupts through my body. Where did he go? I grab my phone off the nightstand and text Kayden multiple times, but he doesn’t answer. I slip my shoes on and run out the door to go look for him. I need to talk to him about last night and let him know that we need to just let it go because with him in my life, what happened with Caleb isn’t as scary.
Morning is clipping over the mountains and the sky is a bright pink, but the beauty of it is very misleading compared to what’s going on down below. The wind is raging, blowing in a storm and chilling the temperature.
My father is at the kitchen table when I walk inside. His brown hair is parted to the side and he’s got his tie and slacks on, ready for Thanksgiving dinner this afternoon.
When he peers up from his food, his eyebrows furrow. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying.”
“I’m fine.” I glance in the living room, before backtracking to the center of the kitchen. “Where’s mom? I need to ask her if I can borrow her car.”
“She’s taking a shower.” He stands up from the chair and drops the bowl into the sink, observing me. “You look like you’ve lost some weight. Make sure you eat a lot today. There’s going to be a game after dinner and I want you to play this year.”
“Okay, fine.” I can hardly hear him as I browse through the messages on my phone, but there aren’t any from Kayden. “Can I borrow your car for a little bit? I promise I won’t be gone for too long.”
He reaches for the keys in his pocket. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look really upset.”
“I’m fine,” I assure him, unnerved because normally he doesn’t notice these things. How bad do I look? “I just need to check up on a friend.”
He tosses me the keys and I catch them effortlessly. “Would this friend be one of my old quarterbacks?”
I wrap my fingers around the keys, feeling the jagged sides cut into my palm. “Mom’s been gossiping, hasn’t she?”
He shrugs, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his slacks. “You know how she gets. She just wants you to be happy.”
“I am happy.” And at that moment it doesn’t seem like a huge lie. “I just need to find someone.” I turn for the door.
“Be back in an hour,” he calls out. “You know she’s going to want your help. Your brother never came home last night. He probably stayed out all night getting drunk, so he won’t be any help.”
“Okay.” I step out into the cold, feeling something hit me in the chest, but I’m not sure what it is. My phone goes off in my pocket and I’m surprised to see Luke’s name flash on the screen.
“Hello,” I answer as I run down the driveway and hop into my dad’s car.
“Hey,” he says in an anxious voice. “Have you talked to Kayden at all?”
“Not since last night.” I slam the door and start the engine, not bothering to let the defroster warm up. “I don’t know where he went. He just took off and I can’t get a hold of him.”
“Me neither.” He wavers as I crane my neck and back the car onto the road, squinting to see through the frosted rear window. “Listen Callie, last night he did something really bad.”
I align the car onto the road and shove it into drive. “What happened?”
“I got this weird call from him,” he says. “Asking me to pick him up. He had me take him out to the lake and he… he beat the shit out of Caleb Miller.”
I press the gas pedal to the floor and the tires squeal. “Is he okay?”
“He’s fine, I guess, but he got arrested and his dad had to bail him out.”
My heart stops. “His dad?”
He pauses. “Yeah, his dad.”
I wonder if Luke knows about Kayden’s dad. “I’m heading over to his house right now to check up on him.”
“Me too. Where are you?”
“Like a few blocks away… On Mason Road.”
“Okay, I’ll see you in a few,” he says. “And Callie, be careful, his dad’s…”
“I know.” I hang up and grip the phone in my hand as I drive up the hill that leads to Kayden’s house.
The two-story mansion looks huge in front of the hills, towering toward the sky. By the time I park beneath the tree, the wind has kicked up and brown leaves blow through the air, nearly shadowing the forest that surrounds the house. I hop out of the car with my heart thudding inside my chest, and sprint across the lawn and up the stairs, swinging my arms to get the leaves out of my face.
The front door is agape, swaying in the wind. When I step into the foyer, a nauseous feeling burns in my stomach. Something doesn’t feel right. I glance in the living room and then call up the stairway, “Hello?”
The wind is my only answer, howling at the window, blowing leaves into the house, along the hardwood floor, and slamming the door against the wall. I walk into the kitchen and turn the corner. Nothing could ever prepare me for what I see.
Time stops—everything stops. A part of me dies.
Lying on the floor, in a pool of blood and a pile of knives is Kayden. His eyes are shut, his arms and legs slack, and there are fresh cuts tracking up his wrists. There’s a hole in the side of his shirt, where something sharp has punctured through it. There’s so much blood, but I can’t tell where it’s coming from—it looks like everywhere.
My arms fall to my side as my knees give out and I crumple to the floor, landing on a knife. “No, no, no, no!” I pull at my hair, feeling the pain, and rip some of the strands out. “No!”
I shake my head a hundred times, hoping the scene will vanish, like I hoped my twelfth birthday would. But it stays. It always stays. Tears veil my vision as I press down on one of the cuts on his wrists to stop the bleeding. His skin is so cold, like ice, like death. I move my hand to his arm, his cheek, above his heart. With an unsteady finger, I dial 911 and sputter out the details.
“Does he have a pulse?” the operator asks when I tell her the situation.
My heart squeezes tightly in my chest as I press my fingers to his pulse and a faint murmur bumps against them. “Yes.”
“Is he breathing?”
I stare at his chest, wishing for it to move—praying it will move. After a while, it slightly elevates and then falls down unsteadily.
“Yes, he is. He is. Oh my God.” I press my quivering lips together, sobbing as I hang up and wait for the ambulance. The phone falls from my hand as I run my fingers through Kayden’s hair, wondering if he can sense me.
“Kayden, wake up,” I whisper, but he’s still. “Please, God, wake up.”
“Callie… what….” Luke steps up behind me.
I don’t budge. I can’t look away from Kayden. If I do, he might disappear.
“Callie, can you hear me?”
“Don’t make a sound. It’ll be over quickly. You’ll barely feel a thing.”
“Callie!” Luke practically screams and I blink up at him as hot tears stream down my cheeks. “Did you call an ambulance?”
I nod, feeling everything around me—in me—crumble. “I tried to save him… I-I did, but I couldn’t… I couldn’t…”
Luke kneels down beside me, looking at his friend on the floor, his face draining of color, his brown eyes huge and horrified. “It’s not your fault. He’s breathing. He can get through this… he can.”
But it is my fault. All my fault. I wrap my arms around Kayden, breathing him in, never wanting to let him go. “Please, stay with me.”
“This is all your fault,” Caleb says. “If you tell anyone, that’s what they’ll think.”
Sirens flood the air as leaves swe
ep through the kitchen, swirling around with no other purpose than to go wherever the wind carries them.
I should have done more. Said something. Stood up for him like he did for me.
I thought I’d saved Kayden that night at the pool house, but I was wrong. I just bought him time until the next windstorm swept through.
Jessica Sorensen lives with her husband and three kids in the snowy mountains of Wyoming, where she spends most of her time reading, writing, and hanging out with her family.
Other books by Jessica Sorensen:
The Secret of Ella and Micha (The Secret, #1)
The Fallen Star (Fallen Star Series, Book 1)
The Underworld (Fallen Star Series, Book 2)
The Vision (Fallen Star Series, Book 3)
The Promise (Fallen Star Series, Book 4)
The Lost Soul (Fallen Souls Series, Book 1)
Darkness Falls (Darkness Falls Series, Book 1)
Darkness Breaks (Darkness Falls Series, Book 2)
Ember (Death Collectors, Book 1)
Connect with me online:
http://jessicasorensensblog.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/#!/JessicaSorensensAdultContemporaryNovels?notif_t=page_new_likes
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jessica-Sorensen/165335743524509
https://twitter.com/#!/jessFallenStar
The Coincidence of Callie and Kayden Playlist
1. “Candles” by Daughter
2. “Shameful Metaphors” by Chevelle
3. “Seven Devils” Florence + The Machine
4. “Never Too Late” by Three Days Grace
5. “So Far Away” by Staind
6. “Why Can’t I?” Liz Phair
7. “Deep Inside You” Third Eye Blind
8. “Hurt” Nine Inch Nails
9. “Ghosts” by On An On
10. “Gold” by Wake Owl
Dear Reader,
Thank you for reading THE COINCIDENCE OF CALLIE AND KAYDEN. There’s nothing I love more than books--reading them, writing them, and sharing them with others. Once I started writing about Callie and Kayden I fell in love with their story, and I hope you did too. If you enjoyed reading about them and are looking for another great, romantic read, then I invite you to check out THE SECRET OF ELLA AND MICHA.
I first released THE SECRET OF ELLA AND MICHA as an ebook in October 2012. Just like Callie and Kayden, right from the beginning Ella and Micha completely captured my imagination and my heart. Nothing is as powerful and as passionate--or as fragile--as young love.
For those of you who have already read THE SECRET OF ELLA AND MICHA, I have some exciting news: In 2013 I begin a new partnership with Grand Central Publishing and Forever Romance! They’ll be releasing a new edition of THE SECRET OF ELLA AND MICHA as an ebook and in print with special new cover art. And there will be a new edition for our overseas friends too, coming from my new UK publisher, Sphere. Even more exciting, I’ll be continuing this series with my new publishers as well. So be on the lookout for THE FOREVER OF ELLA AND MICHA and THE TEMPTATION OF LILA AND ETHAN coming soon!
To everyone who has read my books and helped make THE SECRET OF ELLA AND MICHA into a New York Times and USA Today bestseller, thank you! And for those of you who are new to my books, I’m so excited to share my stories with you and I hope you love them all!
Happy Reading,
Jessica Sorensen.
A teaser from The Secret of Ella and Micha
Prologue
Ella
I wonder if I can fly? With the wind and rain in my hair and my arms out to the side of me, it feels like it might be possible. Perhaps if I can get enough courage to jump off the thin ledge, I’ll soar away into the night, like a bird with powerful wings.
Maybe then I could reunite with her.
“What are you doing?” Micha says, his voice higher than normal. “Get down from there. You’re going to hurt yourself.” His aqua eyes pierce me through the rain and his hands are on the beams above his head, hesitant to climb out onto the ledge.
“I don’t think I will,” I say. “I think I might be able to fly… just like her.”
“Your mom couldn’t fly.” He balances onto the railing and glances down at the murky water far below our feet. “What are you on?”
“I took one of her old pills.” I tip my head back and bask my face in the rain. “I just wanted to see what it was like for her. Why she thought she was invincible.”
He steps down on the beam with his arms spanned out to the side and his clunky boots slip on the wet metal. The lightning flashes above our heads and collides with the earth.
“Your mother didn’t know better, but you do.” Bracing one hand on the metal wire above our heads, he extends his other hand toward me. “Now come over here. You’re scaring the shit out of me.”
“I don’t know if I can,” I say softly, raising my head back up as I rotate to face him. “I’m not sure if I want to.”
He dares a step closer and his thick eyelashes blink fiercely against the down pour. “Yes, you do. You’re stronger than that.” His hand begs me closer. “Please, just get over here.”
Staring down at the black water, my body starts to drift.
“I swear to God, Ella!” Micha shouts, his tone sharp, his muscles tense. “Give me your hand!”
I snap out of my daze and tangle my fingers with his. His other hand captures my waist and he leads us swiftly back to the railing, lifting me over it. My feet settle onto the concrete of the bridge that is pooled with puddles. Lights on the beams illuminate the night and Micha’s car is parked in the middle of the bridge with the driver’s door open and the engine and headlights on.
He hops over the railing and then his arms are around me, embracing me securely, like he’s afraid to let go. For a second, it feels okay, weightless and uncontrolled. I tuck my face into his chest, the wet fabric damp against my chilled skin. The scent of him takes me to a place I wish I could go back to—my childhood. Back when things weren’t as heavy because I was too immature to grasp the full reality of life.
Micha pulls back and smoothes my wet hair out of my eyes. “Don’t you ever do that to me again. I can’t do this without you.”
But he needs to figure out life without this perception of me, because I don’t know how long I can keep doing it without drowning.
“Micha, I…” The look on his face silences my lips.
He knows what I’m about to say—he always does. He is my best friend, my soul mate. In a perfect world, full of roses and sunshine we’d be together, but this world is full of broken homes, drunken fathers, and mothers who give up easily.
“I’m sorry.” I cling to him as I say my final good-bye. “I didn’t want to think anymore. It was just too much and my mind wouldn’t slow down. But it’s alright now. I can think clearly again.”
He cups my cheek, his thumb searing hot as he traces the pad lightly across my cheekbone. “Next time come to me—don’t just run. Please. I know things are hard right now, but it’ll get better. We’ve always made it through every single bad thing thrown at us.” Beads of water trickle in his eyelashes, along his cheeks, over his full lips. There’s a shift in the air, one I’ve felt coming for a long time.
His lips part. “Ella, I love—”
I crush my lips against his, hushing him and melting our bodies together. I allow his tongue to caress mine, letting him suck the rain from my bottom lip and savor the taste of me. We arc into each other, like we can’t get enough and heat flows through our drenched clothes, warming my skin. I could let it go on forever, but that would be wrong.
The girl he thinks he loves needs to disappear. I don’t want tonight to be irreversible, so I pull away, breathing him in one last time. Then I walk away, leaving him on the bridge in the rain, along with the old Ella.
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