by Penny Dee
I leaned against a dark timber pole as I waited and started scrolling through Facebook on my phone.
It took me a while before I saw them.
In fact, it was only by chance that I looked up and there they were.
In a dark, shadowy corner of the room, sitting close to one another.
My throat tightened and I immediately wished the floor would open up and suck me down to the bowels of Destiny where I could make my escape. Unfortunately, I had already ordered. So making any kind of mistake would mean relinquishing my fifteen-dollar pizza. Not to mention, it would be rude. So I decided my best option was to hide behind a dark timber post and wait for my pizza, completely hidden from view. Which totally would have worked if Caleb hadn’t looked up at that exact moment.
His face lit up when he saw me, but then he frowned as if something suddenly occurred to him. Like how to explain to his date that his roomie was knocked up with his baby. The girl with him saw us looking at each other and frowned. It made Caleb act.
“Honey!” he called out.
Reluctantly, I approached their table.
“Hey, what a surprise seeing you here,” I said, trying not to notice how attractive his date was and how put together she seemed. I smiled at her. “Hi, there.”
“Brandi, this is Honey. My roommate.”
Brandi visibly relaxed. “Oh, right. The one you were telling me about.”
My ears perked up.
“I told Brandi how I’d moved in with a friend because I needed a change of scenery,” Caleb explained.
Emotion spun through me.
A change of scenery?
What. The. Fuck?
Everybody knew about the baby, why not this woman?
“Sure, yes. Of course,” I squeaked. It was hard to talk because a big ball of cold had lodged itself in my tight throat. My eyes reached for him, questioningly, but he was too busy keeping it cool to notice.
And that was the moment, right there. The moment I realized I was living a lie. I could no longer hide my true feelings for Caleb and I felt angry at myself because of it. This was exactly what I had wanted to avoid. Feelings. Undeniable feelings for Caleb.
And now they were all up in my face as I stood there in front of him and his date.
A date who looked vaguely familiar but whom I couldn’t quite place.
Whisky-colored eyes. Auburn hair. I tried to place her but I was too busy being hurt to retrieve the memory.
“Of course, I didn’t believe him when he said he was just friends with his female roomie,” she said, breaking my train of thought. “But now that I’ve met you . . . it all makes sense.”
Whoa. What?
She laughed. “Oh, Jesus, that sounded awful. I didn’t mean it like that.”
Yeah, she did.
“Well, it was really lovely to meet you, Brenda,” I said.
“Brandi.” She corrected me.
But I ignored her and looked at Caleb, surprised I could even open my mouth to speak because my face was so stiff. “Enjoy your date.”
Caleb frowned at my comment and his eyes darkened. But I didn’t give him a chance to respond. I took my mushroom margherita pizza and my angry little heart, and I left.
CALEB
Honey was chopping up salad vegetables when I walked in, and the way she was executing them with the knife confirmed my earlier suspicions that she was upset about Brandi.
“You want to talk about it?” I asked, leaning a hip against the counter.
“About what?” she asked angrily, guillotining a bell pepper with three whacks of the sharp blade.
“Brandi.”
At the mention of Brandi’s name, the poor pepper copped it with another whack of the knife.
“You’re pissed,” I said calmly.
“I’m not pissed,” she replied. She put a carrot on the chopping board and began to wail down on it. “I’m super pissed.”
“At me?”
“Why didn’t you tell her about the baby? Why everyone else and not her?” she asked suddenly, sending a second carrot to the same fate as the first. But she didn’t give me a chance to answer. “And why was she in my store a few months ago giving me a hard time?”
That threw me. “What do you mean?”
“Just after we started living together she came into the shop and was a prized bitch about me not having gluten-free cupcakes before basically implying I was either pregnant or too fat eating too many cupcakes.”
“You’re saying Brandi came into the shop and gave you a hard time?”
“Yes. And she was a real pain in the ass!”
“Are you sure it was her?”
“Yes, I’m sure it was her. Obviously, she was dressed differently today. Dressed down even. But it was her. I’m sure.” She frowned and bit her bottom lip. “I mean, maybe.”
I stood behind her and placed my hand over hers, calmly guiding the knife down onto the chopping board. I turned her around. The urge to kiss her beautiful mouth swelled in my chest but I ignored it, just like I did every other damn day.
“Brandi and I broke up almost six months ago. She’s been out of town for months.”
Surprise registered on her face. “She’s your ex-girlfriend?”
I nodded. “And she didn’t take the break up very well. She went to a real bad place in her head afterwards. Said some crazy shit, did some crazy stuff. She doesn’t handle disappointment very well and it really fucked with her.”
She pulled away and walked over to the couch, slowly sitting down. “How long were you with her?”
“About six months.”
She nodded, processing what I was saying.
“Can I ask why you broke up?”
I pushed off the counter and walked over to where she sat on the couch. “She wanted something I just couldn’t give her. I thought what we had was something simple and easy, but she thought it was something else. When I realized what she wanted, I knew I didn’t want the same, so I broke it off with her.” I sat down next to her and took her hand in mine. “She and I—we’re done. But today was the first time I’d seen her since she had a big meltdown and went away to get some help. When she showed up this afternoon she seemed better. Calmer. Happier. I wanted to make sure she was really doing okay. When she suggested lunch as an apology for her meltdown, it seemed like a good idea.”
“Of course, I understand.” She pulled her hand free to wipe her hair from her face. “Oh, crap, I’m such a douche.”
Which wasn’t what I was expecting her to say.
“What do you mean?”
“Of course you should’ve gone to lunch with her. Made sure she was okay. I’m just being ridiculous.”
“No, you’re not. If the roles were reversed, I’d feel the same way.”
“You mean you’d act like a jealous loon if you were fat because you were pregnant with my baby and saw me all cozy with a guy in a dark restaurant?”
“For starters, you and I both know that I’d be a hot pregnant man. Secondly, I wasn’t cozy with her at all. And thirdly, you’re not a jealous loon. A little wacko, but not a complete loony tune.” I grinned at her, because even when she pouted she was adorable. I took her hand back and I wasn’t going to let it go. “I want you to know that nothing is happening between her and me. And I’m not going to be with anyone else while you’re pregnant.”
“Really?”
I reached over and cupped her jaw in my hands. “No.”
“But you have this huge sexual appetite—”
“Says the girl who wouldn’t stop having sex with me long enough to tell me about her pregnancy.” I smiled and she laughed softly. My thumb grazed her cheek. “You and this baby, you’re my priority, okay? Anything else will just have to wait. Plus, there’s something to be said for using your left hand.”
She smiled, and again I had to resist the urge to kiss her. I licked my lips, feeling the temptation roll through me. And for the briefest moment I wondered if we’d gotten it all wrong.
If we were being too cautious. If being together was something we should be running toward instead of running away from.
Why couldn’t we be together?
Because you don’t do commitment and I won’t ever let myself be vulnerable again.
Honey’s words came back to remind me.
Her past was holding her back.
So I would ride out the pregnancy.
But then when our baby was born, I was coming for her.
In every way imaginable.
HONEY
“You know this is crazy, right?” I laughed, touching the bandana Caleb had wrapped around my head to cover my eyes.
“You need cheering up. That’s exactly what I am doing.”
“It looks like you’re kidnapping me.”
“How would you know how it looks? You’re blindfolded.”
I laughed and touched the bandana again. But Caleb quickly told me off. “No looking!”
“That’s like saying don’t eat the cupcake and then putting the cupcake right in front of me.”
“Why do all your analogies involve food?”
“Because food is my obsession at the moment. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m pregnant and this baby is practically holding me hostage, forcing me to seek out calories in every situation.” I let my hands drop to my lap. “I’m pretty sure Bump’s father is an eater.”
“Bump’s father is an incredibly handsome guy, or so I’ve heard.”
I grinned again, and when I touched my blindfold Caleb brushed my hand away.
“Do I need to tie you up, too?”
Lust pooled between my thighs at the thought of Caleb tying me up. Because it had been weeks and weeks since we’d had sex, and sometimes it felt like I was in a permanent state of arousal. I licked my lips and clenched my thighs together. And living with Caleb didn’t help. Not with him walking around shirtless all the time, with those black slacks and belts hanging low on his hips, and that impressive six-pack and deeply carved chest always on display.
But now my body was positively aching for it. If I wanted an orgasm I had to give it to myself, and it seemed so unfair when I lived with such a sexy beast.
I exhaled deeply and decided to change the subject.
“So where are you taking me?” I asked for the hundredth time since he had picked me up from work and told me he had a surprise for me. He had put the blindfold on me and very carefully led me out to the car.
“You really don’t like surprises, do you?”
“I love them—when I don’t have to wait for them,” I replied, fighting the urge to lift my chin and sneak a peek out of the bottom of the bandana wrapped across my eyes.
I heard Caleb chuckle as he pulled the car over and killed the engine.
“We’re here?” I asked.
In response, Caleb climbed out of the car, and a few seconds later my door opened. He gently guided me out of the car, careful to make sure I had my footing right so I didn’t fall over. I didn’t have a clue where we were. It was somewhere with people because I could hear cars coming and going, and I could feel people around us.
“You’re going to be arrested for sure,” I joked as he closed the car door behind me. Caleb’s hand was warm around mine as he led me along what I guessed was a sidewalk.
“People can see us, can’t they?” I asked.
“Yep.”
“They can see I’m blindfolded, can’t they?”
“Yep.”
“Do they look alarmed?”
“Nope.”
“Geez, people. What if I was being kidnapped and brought here against my will?”
He stopped walking and turned me to face him.
“I’m taking you inside now,” he said, with a hint of amusement in his deep, rich voice. “Everything is going to make sense in a minute, okay, beautiful?”
Beautiful. My heart curled at his use of the word. I nodded and let him lead me through a doorway. Immediately the outside noise was replaced by the gentle lullaby of store music.
Where the hell were we?
“Ready?” he asked.
I nodded and Caleb peeled the blindfold from around my head.
“Open your eyes,” he said.
As I did, the inside of the store came into focus. For as far as the eye could see there was baby furniture, baby strollers, baby clothes, and accessories, as well as linen and bedding. The store was huge.
“You brought me to a baby store?” I whispered in disbelief.
Caleb’s smile was big and his blue eyes were bright in the store light. “Well, I’m not sure if you noticed, but you’re actually having a baby. And that baby is going to need stuff.”
“Stuff?”
“Yes. Stuff. And today we are going to pick up a fuck ton of . . . stuff.”
I couldn’t help but smile. But it was short lived. I didn’t have the money for stuff. I reached for the price tag of the baby crib I was standing next to and my heart dropped to my toes.
“I could probably afford a couple of things,” I said softly. At least I had a bit left on my credit card.
Caleb reached for my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the top of it. “This is my treat.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but he cut me off. “Please, Honey. You’re having my baby. It’s the least I could do.”
“But you’ve already done so much.”
Caleb’s face softened and he pulled me to him. He didn’t put his arms around me—because that would be crossing boundaries—instead, he put a hand on each shoulder and looked at me.
“I could spend the rest of my life buying you things and it would still fall short of giving you what you are giving me.” His brow furrowed. “You’re growing my baby in your belly. Let me do this.”
He seemed so earnest. So genuine. So I gave in and nodded.
“You’ll just go ahead and do it anyway,” I said as if there was no point in fighting. But the truth was, I was touched. And so incredibly grateful for the gesture.
I spent the next hour picking out stuff. We wandered through the store and Caleb would point at things, pick them up, feel them, try and guess what they were for, get it totally wrong, and then be totally surprised or squeamish when he found out what they were. Like mesh underwear. I’m not sure what he thought they were, but he lost a little color when I held up a pack of postpartum pads and told him what went where and why.
It was fun. He made it fun. And I was so grateful for all the effort he was making
A few times he had to leave and make a few phone calls, or take a phone call, but for the most part he was by my side through the whole process.
It felt good.
Yet, at the same time it made me feel a bit weird. We weren’t a couple. We were friends who were having a baby. He wasn’t my boyfriend, or my lover. And tonight while I was sitting on the floor trying to piece together the brand new crib, he would be free to be wherever and with whomever he wanted. And no matter how hard I denied it, the thought of him being with another woman made me feel weird.
Sure, he said he wasn’t going to be with anyone.
But how long could I expect him to hold back?
When he went to make a call, I picked up a baby blanket. It was made from the softest fabric, and the moment I brought it up to my cheek, the memory washed over me.
I was three. My mom sat me in the corner of the living room in our one-bedroom apartment and switched on the TV.
“Now don’t you move until mommy comes back into the room,” she said. She put her finger over her lips. “Not a word now.”
I nodded wishing she’d join me on the couch and cuddle me while we watched cartoons. But she didn’t. Instead, she went to the door and let her friend in. He was a lot older than her and he seemed nervous when he saw me. Like he didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. He followed my mom into the room and I watched the big hand on the clock move around from the five to the eleven, as muffled noises drifted into the room through the c
losed bedroom door. When the shouting started, I lifted the blanket to cover my face.
“Why would I leave her and my kids for someone else and her kid?”
The door ripped open and he stormed past me, stuffing his shirt into his pants as he disappeared out the front door.
Mom stared at me for a moment from her bedroom door, crying, her face dark and resentful, and then she slammed it shut.
“Are you okay?” Caleb asked, when he found me staring off into space with the baby blanket pressed against my cheek. He had just walked back in.
I exhaled deeply, trying to shake off the memory.
“Just a bit tired,” I replied hoarsely, putting the blanket back. “I think I’m about done.”
“Are you sure?”
I looked at him. He was so handsome. So big and strong. Any woman would be lucky to have him.
It made me want to cry.
Which was just stupid.
Instead, I forced a smile and joked, “Boy, I could use a drink.”
We headed toward the sales counter to pay for everything. “Good. Because that’s the second half of your surprise.”
“There’s a sequel?”
“Baby, I don’t do things in halves.” He grinned and then winked at the sales assistant who was ringing up our things.
“What about all the stuff we just bought?” I glanced around at all the items stacked up on the counter.
He waved it off. “They’re going to deliver it tomorrow.”
Caleb handed the sales assistant his credit card and they exchanged a look. She looked away with a flirtatious and knowing smile and my stomach knotted with jealousy. I glared at her but she was too busy ringing up the sale to notice.
I was being ridiculous, so I turned away and leaned my back against the counter.
“So does part two involve a blindfold, too?” I asked sheepishly.
“No.” He gave me a sideways glance. “I mean, if you want it to . . .”
I rolled my eyes but smiled. “No, I’m good.”
“Thank you very much, Caleb,” she said as she handed him back his card.
Again, he winked and again I felt it stab at my heart when I noticed the chemistry between them. “Thanks, darlin’.”