by Al K. Line
"Oh, and if that isn't enough, someone, and we can all guess who, dropped a fucking bomb on my farm last night. I was with George, she could have been killed. You screwed us royally. Did you even think this through? What's wrong with you?"
"She's... she's dead?"
I hung up on him.
Bad News
An hour later I was sitting in the park by the boating lake when Ivan called back. I was surprised it had taken him so long to find out what really happened. Part of me wanted to believe he was a pawn in all this like the rest of us, but I suspected I would be disappointed.
"You could have told me she wasn't dead."
"Why should I? You lot didn't care about us when you got us involved in this. I assumed you'd have expected her to get killed once this was over. We had nothing to bargain with once we got screwed, so obviously Cerberus would want revenge on us. Probably thought we were part of the whole plan."
"So Vicky's okay?"
"Yeah, she's fine."
"You told me she got shot in the head," said Ivan, confused.
"She did. I traded in, her life for mine."
There was a long pause while he figured that one out. "You traded in a life? For my sister? It could have been your last."
"I know, man, but it's Vicky. I care about her, even if you don't."
"I... I don't know what to say. This evens the score, no more favors owed. I'll never ask again."
"You don't get it, do you? Even if you did ask, I'd say no. You set us up, that makes us more than equal. In fact," I added, "this is far from done. Nobody messes with me and mine like this. Nobody. Not Cerberus, not you, not Mikalus. Nobody."
Ivan knew what I meant, knew my character and how precious family and friends were to me. I'd thought he was a man of honor too, obeyed the Code. "You don't touch family, Ivan. Ever."
"I know, and I never would. Mikalus, he is different."
"So what are you saying?"
"That I just spoke to people, to Mikalus himself, and you are right. It was a set-up. I honestly didn't know, he didn't tell me. I figured you'd failed, that Cerberus found out somehow. That's why I didn't call. We knew you came out empty-handed and that they must have moved everything. Mikalus has what he wanted, his precious books. He used other people, our people, to recover what he feels is his."
"And you were in the dark about it? What, he just told you because you asked?"
"Actually, yes. I asked, he told me. He seemed surprised I was shocked. Said it had to be that way so I could talk to you without looking guilty."
Ivan sounded truly annoyed, but more than that he sounded disappointed. "So they screwed you over too? Made you betray me and your own sister."
"Yes. And not they, Mikalus. He made me betray a friend, and my sister. I think of you as a friend, and this is unforgivable. I got a name. How this all happened. You won't like it."
"Tell me," I said, knowing my day would get a whole lot worse before it got better. Just when things were going well for me, this happens. I had a relationship with Candy that was going great, George was happy, Vicky was, well, Vicky, but her girls were safe, and I even slept the other night after the sexy times. I was looking forward to more of that, and I had a date tonight. Guess I'd have to cancel. No way would this resolve itself by then.
"Arthur?" Did you hear what I said?"
"Sorry, no, I was miles away." I watched an old couple walking hand in hand around the boating lake, smiling and talking to each other like they were on a first date. Maybe one day Candy and I would be like that.
"Candy," said Ivan.
Distracted, I asked, "What about her? Is she in danger?"
"You aren't listening to me. Candy, it was her."
My mind wasn't taking this in so I focused, and asked again. "What about Candy?"
"She has been playing you. I don't know for how long, but Mikalus has something on her, used her to get to you. She told him what you were doing, maybe bugged your home or something, I don't know. But she told him when you were acting, so he knew when the books would be vulnerable. I'm sorry."
"No, that can't be right. She wouldn't. We were, we... the other night we..."
"I'm sorry. I'll be in touch when I find out more. But I swear to you, I had no idea about any of this. I'll find out the truth, all of it, and they'll pay. This isn't over." Ivan hung up. I hung my head.
Life. It's really got it in for me.
Goodbye to Love
This had to start somewhere, so it started with me crying like a baby ripped from its mother's breast in the middle of the night. Dragged from feeling warm, safe, and comforted, protected, loved, and at peace, with a whole future ahead, and plunged into a nightmare of loneliness, rejection, and mockery.
I was being laughed at. This old man had believed that a beautiful young woman could have an interest in him. I thought she liked me, wanted me, found me good company. I was an idiot. She'd used me, played me for a fool, and I was sad and shamed by the whole thing.
So I sat on a bench and watched an elderly couple in love feed the ducks as I cried for my own pathetic needs and desires. I knew it was too good to be true, that I could have some peace and happiness in my life. Something for me, something to chase away the night terrors, allowing me to finally sleep through the night knowing somebody wanted to be there with me, be by my side.
Once the tears had finished falling, I dried my eyes and sat there for a while longer, trying not to think but thinking dark thoughts anyway.
"Are you okay?" asked a kind voice.
I looked up to see the man standing close to me, peering down at me with concern. His wife was several paces away, watching but not in a mean, nosy way, just concerned but knowing the two of them might be too much.
"That obvious is it?"
"You looked so sad. We were worried."
"Thank you, but I'm all right. I'll get through it, I always do."
"But it's tough, isn't it?"
"It is," I admitted.
"But you're alive?"
"Yeah."
"Then there's always another chance. That lady over there," he said as he turned and pointed at the woman, who smiled and waved back. We both waved at her in return.
"Seems nice," I said.
"She is. The best. We met three years ago today at this very place. We were both feeding the ducks, both alone. Now we come together."
"That's nice."
"So there's always tomorrow. Well, be seeing you. Sorry if I intruded."
"You didn't. And thanks, I needed that."
He nodded and walked away, took the woman's hand and they carried on their slow walk around the lake.
"That was nice of him," came a voice in my head.
I jumped a mile, taking a moment to figure out who it was. "Damn, I forgot all about you."
"Didn't want to intrude. Thought it best to leave you to deal with, er, Death, and Vicky and everything."
"Right. So, you know what's going on?"
"Sure I do," said Wand, sounding more chipper than I'd have liked.
"And?"
"And? What do you mean, and?"
"I mean, what should I do now?"
"Now you go and kill the bitch."
"That's what I was thinking."
"I know."
Some Lists are Short
If I'd made a list of everyone I had to deal with it would have gone like this.
Carmichael.
Mikalus.
Now it had a new name, and God help me, I would not be stopped.
I stood across the street from Candy's coffee shop, watched as customers came and went after the lunchtime rush. When all was quiet I took a deep breath, set my face to extra grim, not that it needed much adjusting, and strode across the road.
I pushed open the door, scowled at the bell, and then closed it behind me. After I'd checked to make sure there were no citizens inside, I turned the sign over to closed, pulled out Wand, and forced my will down into the sentient wood. It felt differe
nt to before, as if I hardly had to do a thing, and as sigils flared, a spark of joy leapt into my heart as Wand pulsed and the lock fused into the door frame, sealing us all in.
"Stay out of this," I warned Steve, who was sitting drinking a coffee by the window. Then, my heart smacking against my ribcage, depression threatening to send me screaming into the darkest recesses of my damaged mind, I marched to the back where Candy was stacking cups and plates.
Candy looked up as I approached, her smile for customers plastered on her face even though she looked dog-tired and stressed. Her face dropped when she saw me.
"Guess who?" I said, and I had to use every ounce of restraint in my body to not grab her beautiful hair and slam her face into the counter, breaking her nose and smashing her teeth.
"Arthur?" she said, trying to hide the shock. "How did it go?"
"Better than you expected, worse than I did."
We stared at each other for the longest time, her knowing I knew, but not how much, then she blurted, "I can explain."
"I'm sure you can. But in my world there is nothing you can say that will get you out of this. You do not involve my fucking kid in this shit. There are rules!" I was shouting, and Steve rushed over and put an arm on my shoulder. "What?" I snapped.
"Whoa, mate, what's got into you? You two having a barney? You need to cool it."
"Cool it? Cool it?" I snarled. "She betrayed me. She was working for the fucking vampires. She betrayed you too. She set us up, helped them. They had this all planned out, isn't that right, Candy? We were the decoys, left to get killed or whatever. Cerberus blew up my fucking house with a fucking bomb. They shot Vicky through the fucking head. My daughter was with me, a bomb landed on our house. Candy and the vampires have been playing us. And she," I jabbed a finger out to the shocked Candy, who hadn't moved a muscle, "told them exactly what we were doing and when we were going. What else did you do, Candy? How else did you betray us?"
"Mate, she wouldn't do that. You got it wrong. She's one of us. I've known her for years. Candy?"
We turned to her. She hung her head and shook gently.
"Answer him. What did you do? How deep does this go? What, you thought you'd take advantage of a stupid man who thought you liked him? I invited you to my house, I treated you with respect, wanted you in my life, my family. You betrayed me, George, you betrayed Steve, and all your own kind."
"I'm sorry," she said.
I nearly went ballistic, but I held myself in check. "Sorry!? Why, why did you do this? I liked you, I feel so stupid. That I can live with, but you must have known what Cerberus would do if we came up empty handed. You knew and you spied on me, told the vampires. You're a traitor."
"It wasn't like that, it wasn't like that at all."
"You fucking bitch," said Steve, quietly and deadly.
I'd never heard him like that, never seen him so angry, and I knew what was coming.
"No, don't change. I want to hear this before she dies."
"I'll tear you to fucking shreds. I'll eat your goddamn corpse. You know the rules. No family, no betraying your pack, no acting like a fucking traitorous bitch."
"Steve, wait," I shouted, and only just in time. His body was already cracking and he'd have been lost to the shift within seconds. But he turned to me, face red and angry, and said, "Why should I wait? She's admitted it. She's scum."
"I want to know. I need to know. We need to know what the vampires have been planning, how this worked. Because this isn't over."
"Talk," ordered Steve.
"I... I had to. Mikalus sent someone to see me. But this was after we were together, Arthur. I do like you, I really do. More than anyone I've ever met. But they sent someone, and they made me an offer. I'm sorry."
"An offer to betray me, and your own? What offer?"
"It doesn't matter. I agreed. I did as they asked. I didn't know what they were up to, I swear. They just wanted information about you, a little about Vicky, then when you got given the job, they wanted me to listen in, so they could do something while you were attacking Cerberus. But I swear, I never imagined it would come to this. I didn't know it was to put you all in danger like this. I went along with it, gave them what they wanted, but I didn't know why."
"What did you do? You bugged us?"
"You. I put it on your jacket. A small thing, so they could listen. They could be listening now. Where's your jacket?"
"It got fried when Cerberus dropped a fucking bomb on my house," I shouted, close to going off the rails again.
"I didn't know."
"That's why you stayed over, why you slept with me? To bug me. You're a whore."
Candy recoiled at the insult and I felt the worst kind of man for calling her that. I still do. But was she? Was that what she was?
"I wanted to anyway. But they said I had to do it soon, as whatever they had planned was about to happen, so I did it, I slept with you because I wanted to but because they wanted you bugged. I felt so happy that we were together, that you took me into your family, but then, in the morning, it all came back to me, what I was doing, but I did it anyway. I did it, I bugged you."
"Christ, that's low," muttered Steve.
"I hurt so much I want to throw up," I said. "You know how hard this all was for me, how much it meant. But you did it anyway. What kind of person are you?"
"I was desperate. I got caught up in it then I didn't know what to do, how to get out of it. I wanted to tell you, warn you, but I couldn't. It was too late. I was so deep into it, I panicked, thought maybe things would turn out okay. I knew they were using you, but I didn't know you were being set up. I swear."
"So you just bugged me thinking the vamps wanted to keep tabs on me? Even though it was when we had this job for them? You didn't suspect?"
"Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. I didn't want to think about it. I knew something was wrong, that this wasn't right, but I didn't know their plans."
"You sat at my table and laughed and joked with my daughter and Vicky while you planned to betray me." I couldn't imagine ever doing such a thing, to act that way. She'd seemed so relaxed, so happy, so comfortable there. How could she be like this?
"I know."
"What did they offer you?"
"Freedom. Mikalus said he could take this away, this shifting. He promised me that if they got the books, he could use one to reverse it. I'd be normal. I could have been a normal woman. I thought maybe if that happened, we could be together. I could forget this ever happened, and I wouldn't have to live like this. You saw what happened the other night. I killed those men. Things like this always happen. We get involved in wars and fights with other Wild Ones. I don't want this life, I want to be normal."
"What guys?" asked Steve.
"The ones trying to take over. I dealt with some of them. And I hate it, all this fighting. And it hurts, it hurts so much. I was offered a way out, and I took it."
"Was it worth it?" I asked with regret, with sadness, for this life is hard and I understood, I really did, but she'd still done what she did.
"No." Candy shook her head then met my gaze, and for the last time she said, "I'm sorry."
Wand was in my hand, but I didn't know how he'd react, so I switched him to my left, and as Candy stood there, and Steve tried to come to terms with it all, I punched out and smashed her throat to jelly.
She could have fought, maybe even dodged, but she didn't.
Candy thudded to the floor, twitching, and I pocketed Wand and pulled out my phone. I dialed a number.
"Cleaner."
"Candy's coffee shop, you know it?"
"Yes."
"Can you deal with a body?"
"I'm the Cleaner."
"Get it done please."
"Who is it?"
"Just another body. Do what you want with it after, but get it gone."
I hung up.
Candy stopped twitching eventually, but it took a long time.
Crushing Realizations
"I can't beli
eve she betrayed us," said Steve, leaning over the counter to stare at Candy.
"Neither can I." I didn't know what else to say. I didn't feel like saying anything at all. If I allowed myself to think, I'd spiral down, hard. The first woman I'd felt a true connection with since George's mum and I'd just punched her in the throat and killed her. I was a bad person, I didn't deserve love, affection. I was a monster. No matter what she'd done, I shouldn't have killed her. It took something away from me, what little humanity I had left, and pushed me closer to the edge, into territory I'd always tried to avoid in my own way.
Cold. Ruthless. Uncaring.
It hurt so bad though, no matter how much I tried to suppress my emotions. She was my girlfriend. We'd laughed and joked, had some great times. She was beautiful and I thought she'd genuinely liked me. Maybe she had, maybe a little at first, but she'd stayed with me, slept with me, to get information to help the vampires. Those double-crossing bastards. Mikalus had shafted us all, and I would deal with him same as I would Carmichael.
"I have to go," I said to Steve. "You too. Don't hang around here. The Cleaner will sort this mess out, it's best if we aren't here when she arrives."
"Okay, mate. Damn," he shook his head, "I can't believe she fucked us over like this. And you, how could she do that? She liked you, you know?"
"Funny way of showing it."
"Mate, she thought you were hot, was always talking about you. She liked you, Arthur, don't go thinking that was pretense. Sure, she took it too far, got involved with the vampires, but I'm sure that was only right at the end. Until then you had a good thing going on. Damn." He leaned over the counter and took a final look at Candy, shook his head once again, then turned and gave me a hard stare.
"I know how this goes, how rotten you feel, but don't let it get to you. People are complicated, and I know I'm not the smartest, not much into deep thinking and trying to figure out the mysteries of the universe and all that, but you heard her. She liked you, she took a chance, didn't know what she was getting involved in. She screwed up, and she had to pay the price, she knew that, understood, but don't forget that this life, this shit, it's hard. Candy had her own demons to fight. She made a bad choice, now it's over." Steve slapped me on the back then reconsidered and gave me a hug.