by Casey, Ryan
She walked further through the woods. It was all she could do now. She thought about what Hannah told her about revenge. Wondered whether Trent and the other two had woken up yet and realised she was missing. She didn’t know Trent well, so she wasn’t sure whether he’d come after her. But then he’d joined Susan and Pete when they’d attacked Jefe’s camp. He’d helped her escape.
Maybe he’d be here soon.
But she didn’t want to keep falling back on people.
She didn’t want to keep relying on others to get her out of the messes she’d got herself into.
This was her mission. She could run away from it, or she could face it head-on.
She knew what she had to do.
She walked further into the woods. Saw more of those trees peering down at her. Every now and then, a squirrel raced past. And she felt that instinctive urge to catch them. To prove to herself she could survive on her own out here, as she held her knife in hand.
But she was starting to wonder whether all this talk of surviving on her own was even true.
And whether she even wanted that at all.
She thought of the happiest times since the power had gone out. And they were always the times when people were working together. When people were helping each other.
And as much as she felt weak, missing a hand… she knew she wasn’t useless. She knew she could still help.
But she just needed help with a few things herself.
She watched another squirrel dart off out of sight.
She stopped. Sat down for a while. The snow dampened her bum as she listened to the breeze. She tried to listen for footsteps or for voices. But she had to face it. She was lost. She had no idea where she was. She had no idea how far she was from Trent, or from Jefe’s people. From Renae.
She thought about Hannah’s horrible story about her daughter. What that horrible man had done to her. And she felt sad for her. She felt like she’d deserved the revenge she’d got.
But then, did Hannah seem happy?
Did she seem like she was a better person?
She’d pushed Emma out here. Told her she might feel better if she went after Renae.
Was that what someone who was happy would do? Someone who felt they’d got the justice they deserved?
She looked ahead. Saw more trees. More of the same.
Then she looked over her shoulder, twiddling the knife between her fingers.
She didn’t know exactly where she’d come from. But if she headed back, she could find a road. She could find a route to Barrow. She could find the place with the helicopters out there herself.
She took a deep breath. Thought about Jade. The way Renae had shot her with that arrow. Left her dying, afraid, after all she’d suffered.
She remembered the look on Renae’s face. The smug smile.
And she wanted nothing more than to scratch her face away until it was just bloodied meat.
But then she let go of her breath.
Being out here was dangerous.
She was risking losing everything, all for something that might not even make her feel any better.
As much as she hated to admit it, she had to let Renae go.
She turned around to face the direction she’d come from. The trees peered down at her. Judging her.
Then she looked over her shoulder one final time.
This is it. Now or never. Make your choice.
She swallowed a lump in her throat.
Then she turned back around, tears in her eyes, and headed back in the direction she’d come from.
She kept walking until she heard something behind.
She spun around. Froze.
Footsteps.
She crept out of sight, perched behind a tree. Squinted into the distance.
Movement.
She kept low. Got a little closer. Heart racing. She knew she had to be careful. She knew it could be anyone.
But what if?
What if?
She crept further through the slushy snow when she saw them both.
A man and a woman.
A bald man. Sores all over his face. A constant smile, teeth missing.
But it was the woman walking ahead of him that made every muscle in Emma’s body tighten.
That shaven head.
That smug expression.
Renae.
Emma tightened her grip on her knife.
You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to—
She pushed the voice in her head aside.
She knew exactly what she had to do.
Chapter Thirty-Two
When Jack saw the sign for Barrow, hope filled his body once again.
It was late morning. A cold wind battered him every few seconds, almost knocking him from his feet. It felt like winter’s final stand, its final attack before giving way to spring.
And it coincided with the final stretch of Jack’s journey.
At least he hoped so.
The sign for Barrow stood before him. Ice dripped from its edges. Now they were here he knew he didn’t have far to go. He tried to retrace his steps from the last time they’d come here. They were just a matter of hours away. If that.
But they hadn’t seen any more helicopters.
They hadn’t seen any signs of life.
Jack looked at the road ahead. The cars stacked on the road. Relics of the old world. His heart raced. His urgency to reach this place intensified by the minute. He’d got so close to reaching it only to see it slip away right at the death.
He didn’t want to lose that kind of opportunity again.
But it was Emma, Trent, and Villain he couldn’t stop thinking of. He knew what Susan told him about the sign—the thumbs up meant they were okay, that they were on their way.
But he felt like he wanted to see them for himself.
Because anything could happen to them out there.
Especially with Jefe still out there.
He looked at his group. Candice and Hazel held on to Susan. She seemed more alert, more conscious. But she still wasn’t well. Deathly pale. Kept on throwing up. And she was running a sky-high fever.
Her time was running out.
Which meant reaching this place was all the more urgent.
Mary hadn’t said much. She hadn’t really made any attempts to bond with Jack and the others. Hazel said she was scarred. Scarred from the way she’d been treated by Jefe. Scarred from the way she’d been cooped up in his hellish clutches for far too long.
She’d witnessed some horrible things. Things that made her reluctant to trust.
And Jack could understand that. After all, he had issues trusting others himself.
But he wanted to know more about Mary. He was travelling with her, after all. He wanted to know what kind of a person he was taking along to this hopeful place with him.
He walked up to her side as they waded down the road, past the cars stacked up against one another. “You okay?”
Mary rubbed her arms. She looked around at Jack nervously like she wasn’t sure who he was speaking to at first. Then she nodded. “Oh. Yeah. Yeah. I will be.”
Jack kept on walking. He didn’t push her. “You know... I know how it is. To join another group. To be forced to trust new people. I know it’s not easy. It’s something I’ve always struggled with. Hell. It’s something I still struggle with. I don’t think that’ll ever go away. But it’s about finding that balance, you know? Because... because Susan here, she did a good thing. She helped you, and she helped all of us. This place we’re heading towards. It’s—it’s good. You saw the helicopter yourself. It’s going to be okay. You don’t have to worry. We’ve got your back.”
Mary looked right into Jack’s eyes, then. “How do you know this place is so good?”
Jack opened his mouth. But no words came out. How did he know this place was good? He’d seen helicopters, sure. He’d seen signs of life there. But how did he know it was any better than the other places that seemed saf
e, on the surface?
He pushed that thought aside. Mostly because he couldn’t afford to think it.
It was dangerous to consider.
He’d gone so long with so little trust. And now he was blindly walking towards this place.
And because of what?
Hope.
Blind hope.
He shook his head again. Pushed that thought aside. And then he looked at Mary, and he smiled. “It has to be. It just... it has to be. Okay?”
Mary raised her eyebrows then. Smiled back at him. Like his answer proved her entire point. “I hope you’re right.”
He turned to the road ahead. Walked further towards that place with the helicopters. The sun looked like it was travelling rapidly across the sky, the short winter day disappearing before them. He was growing anxious, now. Anxious that something bad was going to happen before they could reach their destination. Anxious that Mary’s instincts were right.
Anxious that he was leading his people towards a trap.
But if this isn’t safe... then what next?
That thought made his stomach turn. Because he’d spent so long believing there was some kind of end goal. Even when he was settled at the farm. Even when he was living at Heathwaite’s. All that time, at the back of his mind, he’d held the belief that there was something else out there. And one day, they were going to find it. Or it was going to find them.
But if this turned out not being what he hoped it was... then what did the future hold for him?
What did the future hold for anybody?
He bit his lip. Took another step. Heard a meow.
He looked to his side.
Mrs Fuzzles peered up at him.
Walking in the snow.
Rubbing her head against his leg.
He felt a warmth inside. Smiled, then reached down and stroked her. “What’s up, eh? Not like you to be such an attention whore.”
He looked up at the road ahead. Smile on his face. Kind of happy that Mrs Fuzzles was showing a softer side, at least.
When he looked ahead, he froze.
There was a man standing in the middle of the road.
Dressed in military gear.
He was covered in blood.
Chapter Thirty-Three
The further Trent and Hannah walked, the more uncertain Trent grew about this entire mission.
Morning rolled on into afternoon. The air was as bitter cold as ever. The sky was clear, though, and it had Trent hoping that better days were on the way. Hoping it was a sign things were improving, and the weather was turning.
Surviving this winter was summat to put on his damned CV, that was for sure. Should get a frigging medal for making it this far in the first place.
He walked silently through the woods with Hannah. He didn’t speak with her. Didn’t have anything to say to her. She’d sent Emma to her death as far as he was concerned. All because she was some kind of selfish stirrer.
He had nothing to say to her. Didn’t want to get to know her.
He just wanted to find Emma, make sure she was okay, then crack on back to Barrow to finish this shit.
Trent didn’t know where they were exactly, only that they’d definitely been this way before. He recognised that tree he’d just passed, the one with the initials “RC DR MR LR” carved into the side of it. He thought about the person who’d carved it. Wondered what their story was. Some family perhaps? Probably someone with a caravan up here. He pictured an old dude wandering into the woods, carving the initials of his wife and his grandchildren in there. Made him smile. It was the small fantasies of normality like that which settled him when things were going to shit.
“Are you always so boring? Or am I just getting the special treatment ’cause I’m on your shit list?”
Trent tensed his jaw. “The more we talk, the more energy we use up. Besides. I don’t have anything to say to you.”
Hannah sighed. “Yeah, yeah. You’ve said that a zillion times already. Well look, mate. I don’t have much to say to you either. But don’t you think it’d be a bit less boring if we at least tried to get to know each other?”
“Not really,” Trent said. “I’d rather not know a thing about you. Already know all there is to know about you.”
“And that’s your problem,” Hannah said. “You think you know all there is to know about everyone. But you don’t know a thing. From what I hear, you barely even know Emma anyway. So what’s driving you, Trent? Why are you so damned loyal to a bunch of people you don’t even know?”
Trent stopped. He looked around at Hannah. He tried to keep his emotions in check, but she’d pissed him off. She’d been picking away at him like a scab this whole damned journey. And now he couldn’t keep his feelings to himself any longer.
“Jack’s people helped me when I was on the other side of the fence,” he said. “They... they let me in when they barely knew a damned thing about me. So it’s the least I can do for them.”
Hannah narrowed her eyes. “There’s something you’re hiding.”
Trent frowned. “What’re you on about?”
“I can see it on your face. You’re guilty as hell about something. What are you so guilty about, Trent? Really?”
Trent heard Hannah’s words, and it all came flashing back.
Entering the village.
Lifting his rifle on Martin’s orders.
And pulling that trigger.
“I... I killed someone.”
Hannah puffed out her lips. Rolled her eyes. “Welcome to the club.”
“A kid.”
Silence followed, then. Hannah’s eyes widened. Like she understood. Like it clicked.
And as much as Trent wanted to push it back, as much as he wanted to deny and fight it... he just couldn’t. Not anymore.
“About the same age as Emma,” he said. “Looked similar, too. I remember going into this camp and being so juiced up on what Martin said. They were our enemies, he said. We had a damned right to take whatever we could from them. That if they resisted... we should just fire. Get it done with. End it.
“I remember standing there at the edge of this village. I remember seeing all these people, all fifteen of ’em, all looking back at me. I remember Martin giving me the nod. And I pulled that trigger. I fired. I barely had time to see her step out in front of her mum.
“I rushed over to her when they were all down. I held her hand. I told her how sorry I was. How—how damned wrong I was. But I knew I didn’t deserve forgiveness. I didn’t deserve a damned thing. But that’s when I realised Martin wasn’t my friend. Martin was an enemy, just like the rest. That’s... that’s when I realised I had to break free.”
Silence hung in the air. Trent forgot he even had company for a few seconds.
Until Hannah patted his back and walked past him.
“Don’t beat yourself up about the past, mate. At least you realise where you went wrong. That’s more than most can say.”
She walked ahead of him. And Trent thought about what she’d said. At least he realised where he’d gone wrong. At least he’d recognised what he’d done was bad.
At least he was trying to do the right thing.
“Thanks,” he said.
Hannah looked back at him. Frowned. “What for?”
Trent smiled. “More than you realise.”
Hannah smiled back at him. “I like this Trent. He’s way more...”
She stopped talking.
Trent knew why.
Because he heard it, too.
Footsteps.
Footsteps in the distance.
Someone was here.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Emma crept towards Renae, tightening her grip on her knife.
She felt the cold breeze brushing against her as she crept slowly across the snowy ground. She made sure she walked so slowly that nobody heard her. As stealthy and as silent as she could.
Her only focus was Renae.
Her only focus was revenge.
Renae was with another guy in the distance. Emma had no idea what they were doing. It looked like they were looking for something. Perhaps they were looking for someone.
She didn’t know how many of Jefe’s people were still standing after Jack finished with them. She wasn’t sure what was left of their home, or what their goal was now.
She didn’t care.
Renae was here.
Renae had killed Jade for no reason whatsoever.
She deserved what Emma was going to give her.
She rushed further through the trees. Perched behind a tree closer to them both. She was so close to Renae now. Ten metres, maybe closer.
She felt her heart pounding in her chest. Thought about the conclusion she’d come to earlier. The decision that getting revenge might not make her happy.
But then she remembered what Hannah said about revenge.
And she tensed her jaw and peeked around the tree.
Renae was facing the other way. The man she was with was even closer. So close that Emma could feel the heat from his body. Smell the sourness of his breath.
She stepped out from behind the tree. Walked right up to the back of this guy. Renae in the distance. This guy close.
She stood right behind him. Lifted her knife.
And for a moment, she saw herself standing here. She saw what she was thinking of doing. What she was turning into by doing this.
She swallowed a sickly lump in her throat.
And then she buried the knife into the man’s neck.
She watched him clutch his throat. Saw him kicking out as blood spurted everywhere. And she knew she couldn’t stay here, then. She had to use this. She had to make Renae see. She had to make her fear.
She rushed from behind the tree, over to one just up ahead. Renae was still facing the other direction, muttering to herself, as if everything was normal.
Just metres away, her friend choked to death on his blood.
Emma threw herself behind the tree and saw Renae turn around.
For a moment, she saw the confusion in Renae’s eyes. She saw her frown. “Jayden?”
She wandered back towards her friend.
And then, when she saw him on the ground, she rushed over to him quicker. “Jayden!”