by Amy Brent
She would enjoy the emotion I felt instead of mocking it because it wasn’t manly.
I pulled up to the house and felt a heavy weight sit on my shoulders. Max was sitting on the porch waiting for me, a milkshake between his hands. I climbed out of the car, and he looked up at me, smiling as he took a big gulp of the chocolatey goodness.
“Ready for that movie, champ?” I called out.
“Yeah! Mickey.”
“You wanna watch Mickey again?”
“Uh huh,” he said.
“Well, come on then. Let’s go watch us some Mickey.”
I curled up on the couch with my son and kissed the top of his head. It was moments like this I committed to memory and moments like this I wanted to reflect on whenever I was working. I knew that when I struck up this book tour, the defiant Max would rear his head. I wouldn’t be home enough, and I’d have to pay the nanny overtime for pulling dual roles. I’d have to fight with him on everything because I wasn’t coming home when he wanted me to. It had happened when I was writing my book, and I was locked away in my office during late night hours, and it would happen when I left to start touring with my book.
I wanted him to know there was nothing more important to me in this world than him.
“I love you, Max,” I said into the top of his head.
“Love you, too, Daddy.”
Chapter 10
Melissa
“You told me this would be fun,” I said.
“What? You’re not having fun?” Ava asked.
“Not even in the slightest.”
Ava had convinced me to leave Sarah with my in-laws so we could go out. She thought we could use some time away from our motherly responsibilities while we found ourselves some entertainment. She told me it would be good for Carl’s parents to take her for some time, especially since Sarah was beginning to start asking about her father. Ava thought it would be food for his parents to answer those questions, and I knew they would enjoy the time with her anyway.
I figured we would go catch a movie, maybe hit up a restaurant for a nice glass of wine. Instead, I found myself being dragged into a bar with a scantily-clad Ava.
“So, who’s watching Logan?” I asked as we grabbed a drink at the bar.
“Believe it or not, his father.”
“Wait. What?” I asked.
“Yeah. He came back into town a few days ago wanting to make an effort. Handed me a massive check for child support he’s owed me over the years and said he wanted to try and be a part of Logan’s life. He was the one who encouraged me to go out,” she said.
“And that doesn’t make you nervous? Sarah’s with her grandparents, and I’m nervous as hell,” I said.
“I can tell by how fast you’re putting back the drinks. And yes, it does make me nervous. Hence why we’re at a bar. I can get my mind off it for a little bit and then go home a bit early and blame it on drinking too quickly.”
“Nice thinking. Sarah’s grandparents have her all night,” I said.
“Oh! Sleeping in. I miss sleeping in.”
“Maybe Logan’s father will get up with him in the morning or something,” I said.
“Oh, he’s not staying over. Just watching Logan until I get home.”
“Whatever floats your boat,” I said, grinning.
I felt Ava grab my hand before she dragged me to the dance floor. Our drinks were in our hands, and we were gyrating to the music as the bass pounded our ribcages. I hadn’t seen a smile this big on Ava since the day I’d met her, and I was glad my best friend was having a good time.
I, on the other hand, wanted to go home.
“Mind if we cut in?”
A couple of guys came up behind us, and immediately, Ava turned away. Some tall guy with blond hair and a devious smile hooked his arm around her waist while another guy buried his nose into my neck. I tried to snake away, creating some room between us as I turned around, but all he did was slide his arm around my waist and pull me closer.
I had to admit, I hadn’t been in close proximity to a man like this since Carl, but the only thing I could do was compare him to Brandon.
“I’ve been watching you from across the bar all night,” he said. “You’re beautiful.”
“Thanks,” I said, blushing. “I’m Melissa.”
“Dave. It’s nice to meet you.”
I could feel his groin slowly grinding into me, and I tried to take a small step back. I suddenly felt crowded, and the alcohol began to kick in. Soon, I was clocking everything about him that wasn’t Brandon. His eyes were too close together nor were they the same color. His hair wasn’t as thick as Brandon’s, and his jaw wasn’t as chiseled. His arms were nearly as strong, but his stature was a bit small. I reached behind me and found Ava’s arm, tugging her to me as she squealed in shock. I wanted to get out of here. I didn’t want to spend another moment in this place with a strange man’s hands on me.
“What’s wrong?” Ava asked.
“I’m ready to go home,” I said.
“Now? When these men are all ready for us?” she asked.
“Please?” I asked.
“Oh, all right, but only because I can tell you’re uncomfortable.”
“Thanks.”
We waved the guys off and threw back our drinks before we headed to her car. We walked arm in arm as her heels clicked across the gravel, but my head continued to swirl. I thought about the dream. How wet I’d been when I’d woken up with him on my mind. I thought about how his lips ghosted over my skin. How warm they were as they traveled down my stomach. I heard his raspy voice in my ear, telling me it was going to be all right as I slowly woke up from that dream.
A dream I wished was real more than I cared to admit.
The car ride home was fairly silent. Ava tried to talk with me, but I was off in my own little universe. My heart was palpitating, and my palms were sweating. I’d see Brandon again in a little under two days, and I was suddenly concerned with what I would wear. What would we talk about next? Should I wear waterproof makeup? I felt the need to make an effort in my appearance the next time I saw him, and panic began to close my throat as I tried to gasp for air.
“Melissa? You all right?” Ava asked.
“Yes,” I said. “The fog at the bar-club-thing was a bit too much.”
“Want me to help you in?”
I could feel the wetness growing between my legs as I imagined Brandon’s eyes and the way they were concerned as they raked down my body, clocking my every move like an open book. I thought about the first time I rode his cock, underneath the moon and stars in my backyard. How scandalous it had been, being so close to my parents with my body filled to the brim with his.
I didn’t even realize how tightly I’d clung to those memories until just now.
“I’m good. I just need to take a shower and sleep,” I said.
“Well, next time we have a girl’s night, we’ll do wine and movies,” she said.
“Go home and see Logan. I know you’re worried.”
“I will. I’ll let you know how things go with you know who,” she said.
“He who shall not be named,” I said, winking.
I watched her pull away before I walked into my house. It was weird, coming home to absolutely no one. No smell of cologne to waft up my nose. No squealing little girl running around with her bouncing curls. No frazzled babysitter to pay or messes to trip over.
Just nothing.
I traipsed up to my bedroom as I slowly peeled my clothes off. I threw them into a pile on the floor and lay down naked, feeling my breasts flop against my body. They had stretch marks from being full of milk when I’d breastfed Sarah. My thighs jiggled with dollops of fat she’d placed on my body when she was growing. My stomach had tiger scars. Long red and purple stretch marks that ricocheted into my skin and folded over onto themselves.
But when those beautiful blue eyes popped into my head again, I was the tight, perky, innocent teenager I’d always been.
&
nbsp; My hands traveled down to my breasts, tweaking my nipples as I keened for him. I pictured his pouty lips around my tits, his eyes staring up at me as he watched my skin flush with pleasure. I felt the warmth of his body cascade down mine as his mouth traveled to my pussy, parting my folds and finding that beautiful swollen center.
My fingertips began to circle lovingly, envisioning his dexterous tongue working my body as my legs started to tremble for him.
I thought about how he took my virginity and about how selfless and genuine he had been. He’d kissed me through every pain and relaxed my body before he’d inch in. My legs began to tremble and dart as my fingers picked up their pace. My pussy juices began soaking my hand as I thought about the muscles pulling Brandon’s shirt taut in his office. How strong he must be. He could probably pin me to the wall and fuck me senseless. Have me quivering against him as he pinned my hands above my head.
I imagined him marking me. Taking me from behind as he sucked patching of skin between his teeth on my back. I thought about how my ass would jiggle for him as he tugged on my hair, wrapping his hand within my long tendrils while he moaned my name.
My back arched off the bed as my mind swirled to how he kissed me. How he brought me to orgasm the very first time with nothing but his cock. His lips had been swollen from our make out session. He’d marked my tits and caressed my body with his tongue. His mouth had swallowed my groans as my body shook for him. A sheen of sweat broke out on my chest as his name began pouring from my lips.
“Brandon. Yes. Fuck, lick that pussy. Brandon. Yes. I’ve missed you so fucking much.”
My toes curled, and his name choked off my sounds. My pussy began to clamp down as my fluids covered my skin. I pressed down into my clit, feeling my body contract with pleasure, and as I went plummeting back to my bed, I saw his smile swirling around in my memories.
His kind, beautiful smile that had promised me the world.
I knew exactly what I was going to start with Monday afternoon, and I fell asleep in my own wet spot as I dreamed of the numerous ways I’d let him use my body.
Chapter 11
Brandon
I woke up Monday morning with a bit of a pep in my step. Today was the day I would see Melissa again, and despite what we talked about during her first session, I was honestly happy to see her again. I wanted to talk with her and to learn more about why she was feeling this way. My heart ached for her, and every single atom of my body truly wanted to help her. I wanted to reach in and pull out the happy, bubbly teenage girl I knew was still deep down within her.
But first, we had to peel back years of layers in order to find her again.
The patients I had that morning simply dragged on. With each passing patient, I grew more and more impatient. I needed to be able to set my feelings aside if I wanted to help Melissa, so when my two o’clock canceled, I was glad for the alone time. I took out the file I had on her and began reading over it, centering my mind for the next conversation that was about to take place. I tried to focus less on what she might be wearing and more on how I could possibly help her.
I’d asked all the questions I needed to ask her. Now, it was simply the task of getting her to freely talk to me.
Finally, three o’clock rolled around, and like clockwork, she knocked on my door. I hopped up from my chair to answer my door, and I couldn’t help staring. Her beautiful black hair was in its natural curl today, and I wanted to reach out and touch it. Her pencil skirt hugged her in places she most certainly didn’t have as a teenager, and I had to take deep breaths as I ushered her into my office. Her hips swayed with this unassuming femininity as her blouse fluttered around her womanly breasts. It took every ounce of energy I had to rip my gaze from her and place it back into my notepad.
“So, Melissa. How did your week go?” I asked.
“All right,” she said, grinning. “Tried to get out with a friend a bit this weekend. Left my daughter with her grandparents for the first time in a very long time.”
“With your parents?” I asked.
“No. Carl’s.”
Her answer was curt, and I made a note of that. Her parents were still a sore spot, and it was something I wanted to touch on and unpack at a later date.
“So, how did the outing go?” I asked.
“I mean, it was okay. I wasn’t exactly comfortable with the place Ava took me. She’s my best friend who works at the same company I do,” she said.
“Why were you uncomfortable?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Drinks and dancing isn’t my scene.”
“I would’ve never taken you for one of those girls anyway,” I said, grinning.
I saw her clam up, and I knew I’d stuck my foot in my mouth. I had to get this conversation back on track, so I decided to turn the subject back to something we attempted to unpack last week.
Her husband.
“Tell me more about Carl,” I said. “How did the two of you meet?”
“In a bar, ironically,” she said, giggling. “I was there because—”
She stopped her sentence and gave me a wary stare. I knew what was coming. I knew she was about to dive into the shit that happened between us when we graduated college. I knew it would come up eventually, but I didn’t realize that stuff intertwined with her late husband.
Holy hell, I was an idiot.
“Go ahead, Melissa. Right now, I’m your doctor,” I said.
“I was there because I was grieving us. I was heartbroken over realizing you’d gotten married, and I was crying in a drink when he met me. He sat there and listened, even offered to give me a ride home after he bought me another drink. He was very kind, and I gave him my number so he could let me know he got home safe that night.”
“Sounds like the two of you needed one another,” I said.
“We did. He was good for me. He helped me pick up the shattered pieces that you left behind and fit them back together. They might not have glued together perfectly, but the holes that it left he filled in with caulk and repainted over. I lo-loved him for that.”
I watched her bow her face toward her lap again, and I tugged at my tissue box. I slowly placed a few in her palm, pressing them into her skin and holding it just for a second. I needed her to know I was here and know I wasn’t angry. She had every right to feel the way she did. I wanted to know everything. I wanted to help her. Even if it meant only holding a patient-doctor relationship, I found myself wanting to do everything I could to get her back on track.
“He taught me how to love and how to be happy after heartbreak. That man was my savior, in many ways. And then he died. We had this beautiful daughter and built this perfect home, and then life decided I wasn’t worthy of it. Life decided I had to be tainted somehow. That heartbreak had to somehow play a role in my life,” she said.
I sat there and watched her cry, and my heart broke. I had to hold back tears of my own as I watched her wipe at hers. I wanted to reach out to her, to take her hand and tell her how sorry I was. I wanted to hold her beautiful body in my arms and tell her what a wonderful woman she had blossomed into and tell her she didn’t deserve to feel the way she did.
So, I decided to talk treatment options. I was confident enough that I could start her on something that would make her feel better, but her kickback was more than I thought I would get.
“I don’t want to take medication this soon,” she said. “Not just yet.”
“But medication could really help you,” I said.
“Aren’t there other things we could try first? Like, I don’t know, vitamins or time off work or something?”
“Melissa, depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. There are things you can do to live a healthier lifestyle, but most people respond to treatment better with a mixture of both.”
“Then can we start with the healthy lifestyle instead of the medication? I mean, I came off all mine this week, and I haven’t slept as much as I should. My mind is everywhere, and it’s hard to get to sleep.”
“What are you thinking about when you can’t sleep?” I asked.
I watched her blush, and I knew exactly where her thought process was. It wasn’t uncommon for people to come off medication and feel a spike in their libido. Many of these medications had side effects of dampening sexual drives, so when someone gets pulled from their medication regimen, it can throw them in the exact opposite direction.