Settling on the bed next to her, Mary commenced tackling her hair, pulling it around her head and sweeping some curls over her shoulder. A piece of straw fluttered onto her lap and Isabel snatched it from where it settled, tucking it carefully in the folds of her chemise. Her cheeks warmed. What would Mary think?
A more uncomfortable sensation settled upon her. What would Dominic think? Sweet Mary, she had been so wrapped up in her own grief it never occurred to her the depth of their betrayal of Dominic. He was her betrothed and she had eagerly jumped into the arms of his brother. And if she was suffering, then doubtless Jake felt it far more acutely than she did. What had she done? God’s blood, she was a selfish being. If she had never come here, she never would have put anyone in this position.
“There ye go, milady.” Mary climbed off the bed and poured some water for her. “Milady?” she prompted when Isabel remained motionless.
Isabel blinked. “Aye, thank you, Mary.”
Isabel washed quickly from the bowl and stood patiently as Mary helped her dress. Isabel glanced down at the gown, frowning as she studied the thick, embroidered fabric. “I’ve not seen this gown before.”
“Nay, ‘tis new, milady. Lord Dominic ordered ye a new wardrobe. Isn’t it fine?”
Closing her eyes briefly, nausea washed over her. “Aye, ‘tis indeed,” she answered weakly.
“Ye’re a lucky lady, if ye don’t mind me saying, milady. There has been many a lady after the lord’s hand. We all hoped you would wed one of the masters, though.”
Isabel laughed inwardly. Was she trying to make her feel worse? “You are right, Mary,” Isabel said wistfully. “I am indeed lucky. Any woman would be grateful to have such a husband. Would that I could be worthy of such a man…” she added under her breath.
Mary gave a sharp, reprimanding tug on her laces. “Milady, of course ye are worthy. Ye’re highly thought of in Thornewall and the masters love ye. We’ll all be glad when ye become mistress.”
Isabel gulped and pulled her head up. What would her mother say if she saw her like this? She had sinned, most grievously, but she could do nothing but try to make up for her mistakes. She would do all she can to become worthy of Dominic and Thornewall’s regard.
~* * *~
Staring at the ledger in her hands, Isabel frowned. She recognised the numbers but the words still meant nothing. Sighing, she found her thoughts turning to Jake. All his tuition had come to nothing. She just couldn’t bring herself to practice reading and writing anymore.
Pinching the bridge of her nose, she handed the ledger back to James. She had maintained that she could handle the running of the keep while Dominic was gone but she had not realised just how much work it would be. It was exhausting. She found herself falling asleep in the middle of the day and her appetite had all but gone, adding to her fatigue.
She didn’t know if it was Jake’s absence or the burden of running a keep, but she suspected it was both. Would she ever stop thinking of him? It had been several sennights since he’d left and yet her heart would not cease aching.
And with Dominic gone there was little to distract her. His tour of the lands had taken up much time and Isabel found herself wishing he would just return. He was due back any day and she often peeked out at the horizon, anxiously watching for him. If only he would come back and marry her. Then mayhap she could move on.
Shaking her head, she glanced at James. “Will you read them out as I go?”
He offered her a smile. “Of course, my lady.”
Moving along the shelves, Isabel checked the grain supplies as James read the accounts aloud. Her head swam as she bent to check one of the sacks and she hurriedly pulled herself upright.
“Are you well, my lady?”
“Aye, aye,” she assured him with a weak smile, even as the floor moved beneath her feet.
Before she was able to comprehend what was happening, the world went hazy and she felt the room lurch as everything went black.
Isabel was vaguely aware of arms holding her and the world tilting but she couldn’t decide why. Mayhap Jake had at long last returned to her and was carrying her the way he had always done. Nay, it was not Jake, she would have recognised his scent.
Winnie was blustering around her. She could hear her worried cries but couldn’t understand what she was saying. Pounding footsteps reverberated through her, making her head ache and her stomach turn before they mercifully ceased and she was floating on something soft.
A cold sensation jerked her awake and she squinted, trying to make out the faces in front of her. Winnie pressed a cold cloth to her head and James stood over her, concern in his expression.
“My lady? You fainted.”
Pushing Winnie’s hand away, she struggled to sit up but the dizziness returned and she slumped back down. “Don’t be foolish, I never faint.”
“Ye did, milady. Ack, I knew ye’d been doing too much. The lord should never have left ye in yer state.”
“State…?”
Winnie flushed and waved her hand at James, shooing him out.
He hesitated, his eyes coming back to Isabel’s face. “Are you well, my lady? Should I send word to Lord Dominic? He would come back.”
“Nay, of course not, I am well. I have probably just done too much on an empty stomach. Pray go back to your duties.”
“As you bid, my lady.” He gave her a bow and left, closing the door behind him.
“I should probably have eaten this morn,” Isabel confessed to Winnie.
“Aye, ye’ve not been eating much recently.”
“My stomach cannot take it, but do not fear, ‘tis probably just a passing malady.” She squeezed Winnie’s hand. “I am made of stronger stuff than that, Winnie. Cease your worried look, you know I do not take well to sympathy.”
Her stomach rolled and she clutched at it. Winnie leapt up and brought the chamber pot forward, placing it on her lap.
“Winnie, don’t be—”
She gagged and retched unexpectedly as her stomach ejected what little was in it.
Winnie patted her patiently, holding back her hair and taking the pot away as her stomach settled. She offered her a drink and stared at her with an odd expression.
Isabel took a sip and glared at the woman. “What is it, Winnie? I know you have something on your mind.”
The maid pursed her lips. “Ye’ve not had yer courses.”
“My courses? Aye, I have, I had them…” Sweet Mary, she was right. Isabel had not thought about it with everything than had occurred. But that didn’t mean…? Nay, surely not.
“Yer fainting, yer not eating and now yer being sick. Milady, ye must be…”
A rush of heat flooded through Isabel’s face. She was with child. Her courses were never late. And she was never ill.
“It cannot be possible. Winnie, surely if it was just once…or...or twice…”
Winnie gave her a sweet smile. “Yer a healthy young woman, ‘tis entirely possible.”
Isabel brought a hand up to her mouth. Lord, what a fool she turned out to be.
“Do not fear, milady. Ye’ll be married soon and Lord Dominic will be happy to have an heir so quickly.”
“Lord Dominic…?”
“Aye, ‘tis the reason he had been searching for a wife. He is not getting any younger. He has need of some healthy babes.”
Oh God.
The sound of the portcullis rattling drew Winnie to the window. “Oh, milady,” she exclaimed. “Lord Dominic returns. Ye’ll be able to tell him the good news.”
Isabel groaned and Winnie darted an odd look at her.
“Will you tell Lord Dominic that I have need of rest? Give him my assurances but do not tell him about the babe.”
“Aye, milady.”
“I mean it, Winnie. I will tell him on the morrow. I just need to…gather myself. It has all been rather…exciting.”
“As ye will, milady. I’ll not say a word, I promise ye.” She grabbed the chamber pot. “Shall I send
ye up some supper?”
Her stomach protested at the thought of food but she nodded. It was not just her health that she had to consider now. “Aye, just a little.”
With a curt nod, Winnie stepped out and Isabel waited until she had shut the door to throw herself back against her pillows, flinging an arm over her eyes.
A babe.
She brushed her fingers over her belly and a flicker of warmth spread through her. Jake’s babe.
Bolting upright, she pulled her hands through her hair. She would have to tell Dominic. It was bad enough that she loved another, but she could not deceive him about this. He deserved a woman who would love him and would bear his true sons.
Her vision blurred, reminding her of her fragile condition and she lay back down. A strange sense of well-being spread through her. Aye, on the morrow there would be no more lies, no more deception. Mayhap this night her conscience would allow her to rest.
~* * *~
Drawing in a breath, Isabel held it there, willing her heartbeat to steady. Blowing it out, she pulled up her chin and strode in through the doors of the Great Hall.
Dominic sat by the fire, reading a missive in the glow of the flames. Isabel studied his profile with a wan smile. If she could only love such a man.
He turned as he heard her approach and greeted her with a smile. “Izzy, have you come to keep me company this eve? ‘Tis quiet without Jake’s surly presence.” Isabel’s heart bounced at the mention of Jake’s name and Dominic scowled as he studied her. “Is all well, lass? You look pale.”
“Aye, I am well… I just…may I speak with you?”
“Of course.” He motioned to the chair opposite.
She darted a glance around at the milling men and servants, and licked her lips. “Nay, I mean…alone.”
Dominic’s eyebrows darted up but he nodded. “Come then.”
Taking her hand, Dominic led her up to his solar. His hand was warm but his touch sent no thrills through her, not like with Jake. Her stomach knotted with guilt. Why was she comparing him to Jake? Oh God, why could she not love such a handsome, gallant man? She had avoided him all day but she could put if off no longer. It was time to reveal the truth.
Releasing her, he pressed a hand to her back and guided her into the room. The fire crackled and candles burnt brightly in their candelabras, but she shuddered as she entered. What would her future hold for her after this?
Shutting the door, Dominic came to stand in front of her and waited expectantly.
Isabel stared at the floor as she wrung her hands. “I have lied to you,” she mumbled.
“What?”
Bringing her head up, she met his gaze. Clearing her throat, she tried again. “I have lied to you.”
“I know, Izzy, but I thought that was in the past. You know I hold no grudge against you for keeping your betrothal a secret.”
“Nay, I mean, I did lie to you then…but I…I have lied to you since.”
“I see.”
“You are a good man, Dominic. I am truly grateful for everything you have done for me. Would that I could be the wife you deserve, but I cannot. You see…I love another.”
He nodded slowly, his blue eyes intangible.
Isabel braced herself, drawing her arms around her chest. Would he be angry? She had never seen Dominic angry but she had learned from experience that even the most placid of men hid a temper. Silence hung in the air, the crackle and pop of the fire making her flinch.
Rubbing a hand over his jaw, he considered her. “Who?”
She blinked. “What?”
“Who is it that you love?”
“Jake,” she whispered.
“Ah. Does he love you?”
Isabel’s chin trembled and she clenched it. Get a hold of yourself, Isabel. “I know not. He did, once. But now…”
“Aye, right.”
“There is more,” she blurted out.
Dominic pinched at the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “Aye?”
“I am with child. Jake’s child,” she added, dropping her gaze to the floor.
“Hell’s teeth, Izzy. You could have told me sooner.”
“Forgive me. I did not know…about the babe…until recently.” Isabel reached forward tentatively, laying her fingers on his arm. “I wanted to be a good wife to you, Dominic, I truly did. But I cannot and you do not deserve someone who doesn’t love you”
His face softened and he reached up slowly, brushing a stray curl behind her ear. “Ah, sweet Izzy. I could love you, I think.” She chewed at her lip as his fingers skimmed over her cheek and he looked at her regretfully. “Fear not, lass. I am grateful you have come to me. All shall be well, you will see.” He dropped his hand. “I have business to attend to so I’ll bid you good night.”
Isabel nodded dumbly and watched Dominic stride confidently out of the room. All would be well? How could that be? Mayhap he was planning to send her away. He would not let any harm come to her, she knew that, but the thought of her future in the hands of a man, yet again, incited her a churning feeling in her stomach. Sinking onto his bed, she pressed her palm to her stomach. It was not just her future that was at stake either…
~* * *~
While Isabel adjusted to the changes the babe wrought on her body, Winnie tended to her diligently and with great sympathy. Whether the maid suspected it was Jake’s babe or not, Isabel could not tell. She caught Winnie looking at her with pity occasionally. Did she have any idea what her fate would be? Dominic had avoided her since her confession. He was a busy man, aye, but never before had she gone several sennights with so few words said between them. Their brief exchanges were uncomfortable. Though Dominic still teased and cajoled a reaction from her, Isabel could see it was forced.
Winnie gave her another mournful look as Isabel stared out of the window.
“What is it, Winnie?” Isabel snapped.
“What, milady?” she blustered.
“Why do you keep looking at me so? Do you know something that I do not?”
“Nay, milady! I just…‘tis hard to see ye so low in spirits. I’d have thought ye’d be happy with the babe an’ all.”
“I am happy, Winnie.”
“People won’t suspect ye know.”
Isabel whirled around. “Suspect what?”
“That ye were expecting before ye married. Lord Dominic will have ye wed soon and no one would dare question when the babe were conceived. Besides, we all know how virile our lord is,” Winnie told her with a chuckle.
“Winnie!” she scolded with a laugh.
Coming forward, Winnie grabbed her cheeks and pulled her down so she could press her lips to her face. Isabel shook her head with a grin as the maid patted her cheek affectionately.
“All will be well, milady, ye’ll see.”
“Aye.” That was the second time someone had told her that. Yet she could not see how.
“I’ll bid ye good night, milady. Ye see ye get some rest now.”
“Night, Winnie. Thank you,” she told her sincerely. How that woman warmed her heart.
Isabel remained at the window until only the flaming torches on the ramparts remained lit and the keep stilled. Was he thinking of her? Her heart ached with every breath she took. With a sigh, she pulled her curtains and the door creaked behind her.
She shook her head. “Winnie, you need not check on me, I am a grown woman.” She turned and her stomach dropped. Bringing her hand to her mouth, she gasped. “You.”
“Aye,” he grinned, white, pointed teeth flashing in the dark room “Me.”
Chapter Eleven
The room swam as Isabel opened her eyes. Her head pounded and she scowled as she concentrated on the wood rafters that spanned the roof. This wasn’t her room.
She sat with a groan and glanced around, her eyes settling with a start on the man that stood in one corner. His dark eyes followed her as a smile played on his lips. He was tall and slim with a head of slick long black hair.
Isabel flinched
as his grin widened.
“I’m glad to see you’re awake. I feared I had hit you a little too hard,” Everard said with a chuckle.
Putting a hand to her head, she stumbled to her feet. “Everard, what have you done?”
“I have saved you.”
“Saved me? I needed no saving. Where are we? Return me home at once.”
He edged towards her. “I was most displeased when your father called off our betrothal. He seemed to think that this borderland lord was a better choice.”
Isabel supressed a shudder as Everard’s fingers curled around her upper arms. He pressed his hips against her as his mouth came to her ear and the overpowering stench of cloves washed over her.
“But you are mine now, sweet Isabel.”
“Not yet I am not.”
Everard chuckled. “‘Twill not be long before I have you in every way.”
His lips came around her lobe, sucking at it and she jerked her head away. “You will never have me, Everard. You will have angered many men by taking me.”
“Your father, mayhap? He cares not what happens to you, as long as he is rewarded with coin. I was prepared to pay handsomely for your hand, he shall have little to say on the matter when he is suitably compensated.”
“And how will you compensate my betrothed?”
Skimming his hand over her shoulder and allowing it rest just above her breast, Everard paused in front of her. Could he feel the heavy thud of her heart? She gulped and lifted her chin, clenching her fingers into her palm. She could ill afford to anger him. Not with the babe in her belly. It didn’t matter what happened to her, as long as the babe was safe.
“There will be little the Lord of Thornewall can do once we are married.” Everard’s finger stroked lightly over the rise of her breast.
Isabel fought the bile rising in her throat. How would she survive a lifetime married to such a man? If she even survived. How long until he tired of her as he had his other wives? And how would he react when he realised another man had planted a babe in her? How unkind fate was. She had escaped death once. Had she evaded it only to end up in the hands of such a man?
“You will have angered a powerful man, Everard. I do not envy you. Your desire to possess me has overcome your good sense. Release me this instant and I will forget this ever happened.”
Borderland Bride Page 13