Another tear followed the wet path of the first. She wasn’t sure if it was a happy or a sad tear. Maybe it was a little bit of both. Instead of wiping it away, she let it roll off her jawbone and land on her arm as she turned into the parking lot of her apartment complex.
A cherry-red sports car was idling next to the entrance to her apartment.
What the hell is Nick doing here?
Her imagination flashed to a million different scenarios as she parked and climbed out of the car.
Nick was already striding across the parking lot toward her.
“What’s going on?” Jane asked and stopped in her tracks as she saw a haze of worry in his eyes.
Nick took another two steps, until he was only a few inches from her. There were new lines in his forehead and around his eyes. “There’s been an accident.”
“Please don’t tell me something’s happened to Tyler.” The words came out in a whisper. But it had to be Tyler. Nick wouldn’t be standing in front of her if it had been anyone else.
Her very soul seemed to rise up in protest. She could get through anything—anything except something terrible happening to her son.
“He’s at the hospital,” Nick said. “They’re assessing him now. I just got off the phone with the doctor when you pulled up.”
“What happened?” Jane asked. Her purse dropped from her shoulder and she felt her knees begin to buckle.
Nick reached around her and provided much needed support. “He was driving to the store with his roommate. Another car ran a red light and hit theirs. They know he’s got some broken bones and bruised ribs. They’re evaluating him for internal injuries.”
“Why didn’t anyone call me?”
“We tried, Jane. The hospital. Me. Your phone’s off.”
Damn it. She’d forgotten to power it back on after getting off the plane.
Nick picked up her purse from the ground and handed it to her without a word.
Jane fished her phone from the pocket and turned it on. She closed her eyes as the screen loaded. What a terrible mother they must think she was. She opened her eyes. Fifteen missed messages.
“I need to talk to someone.” She frantically scrolled through the missed calls, trying to determine which one to return first, but her hand was shaking too badly, refusing to cooperate.
Nick took the phone from her and dropped it into his shirt pocket, then wrapped his hands around her forearms. “I know you want information. I do, too, but standing here calling the hospital so they can give you the same information I just got from them doesn’t make sense when we have a three-hour drive ahead of us. Let’s move your suitcase to my car, and we’ll drive to the hospital together.”
Say what she might about Nick, he always kept his cool, no matter how grave the situation. Jane nodded and opened the trunk of her car. Nick pulled her luggage out and extended the handle, while Jane locked her car. As they walked, the only sound was the low murmur of the suitcase wheels rolling along the blacktop. He poked his car remote and the trunk door opened.
Jane’s gaze landed on Nick’s suitcase.
“You could’ve left without me.”
Nick picked up her suitcase and laid it next to his. “I knew he was in good hands at the hospital, and I worried you’d be a mess when you found out. So I waited for you.”
“How’d you know when I’d be back?” she asked, settling into the passenger seat.
“I called your office.” Nick put the car in motion. “They told me your travel plans, after I explained the situation.” He glanced over at her. “I wished you’d tell me when you’re going away, in case of emergencies like this. We may be divorced, but we still have Tyler.”
Jane nodded. She’d been so focused on hating him and his new life in New York, she’d never thought to give him the heads-up that she would be away, just in case. She’d told Tyler, but that didn’t do her or Nick any good in this situation. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too. About a lot of things.”
Jane stared at the sea of brake lights as they pulled onto the highway. “Rush-hour traffic. We’ll be lucky if we make it there by nine.”
“The hospital has my number. They promised to call if there’s any change in his status.”
Jane took an unsteady breath. “I’m so scared, Nick. If anything happens to Ty, I don’t know what I’d do.” Tears stung her eyes.
Nick found her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Everything’s going to be all right. I know it will. He’s as strong as an ox.”
Jane nodded, picturing her almost-larger-than-life son. Tyler was big from the minute he was born. She remembered the nurses joking with her about her baby boy barely fitting in the hospital’s newborn bassinets. “We’re going to need a crib for this kid if you don’t take him home soon,” they’d teased when they wheeled him into her room.
Ty had always looked years older than his actual age. Strangers used to shoot her dirty looks when he acted up at restaurants. “He’s only three,” she’d wanted to say.
When he hit high school, coaches clamored to have him on their teams. Jane pushed out a shaky laugh. “I always worried about him getting hurt during football.” Tyler had been offered several partial athletic scholarships, but it had been his choice to stick to academics. “I was so relieved when football was over and he got though it without a concussion. I figured my days of worrying about injuries were over.” Jane sucked in a breath. “He doesn’t have a concussion, does he? I should call and make sure they check him.” She knew she was rambling.
“The car he was in had side airbags. They were hit on Tyler’s side, but the airbags did a good job of protecting his head.” He pulled her phone out of his pocket and held it out to her. “But you can give them a call, if it will make you feel better.”
Nick’s smile comforted her as she scrolled through her missed calls and found the hospital’s number. After sitting on hold for a good twenty minutes, Jane heard little beyond the same information Nick had already told her: Tyler was resting comfortably but was still being evaluated for internal injuries.
“They said he didn’t show signs of a concussion,” Jane said after she broke the connection.
Nick nodded. “Looks like traffic is opening up a little. We’ll make better time now.”
Miles passed filled with switching radio stations, comments about the weather and long silences. After one particularly lengthy break in conversation, Nick said quietly, “It’s not too late for us, you know.”
Startled, Jane turned to study his face. “What? Where the hell did that come from?”
“I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, Jane.”
She huffed out a laugh. “You’re serious?”
“Of course I’m serious. Look, I know you can’t forgive me for what I did, but is living separate lives better than being together? Don’t just think of the present. What about the future? Tyler will eventually have his own family. Do you really want to be alone?”
Jane narrowed her eyes. “I’m not afraid of being on my own, and I don’t think that’s a valid reason to get back together.” She paused. “Besides, what makes you think I’ll be alone?”
“Oh, come on. You haven’t dated in decades. The bar scene’s not your thing, and I hardly see you as the type to resort to online dating. It’s not so easy to meet people at our age, you know.”
“Really?” Jane folded her arms. “Well, thanks for the advice, but I don’t need it. I’m doing just fine in that category.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It simply means I’ve still got it, buddy. Thanks to your indiscretion, I was feeling pretty crappy about myself, but I’ve met someone who doesn’t make me feel that way.” The statement wasn’t entirely true, but at least, for a little while, Ryan had made her feel wanted and desirable.
Nick looked shocked. “You met someone?”
“I did.”
“You’re lying. What’s his name?”
“Be
lieve what you want. His name is Ryan. He’s handsome, fit—” Jane’s gaze flicked down to where Nick’s belly extended over the seatbelt. She could’ve sworn he sucked it in for a moment. “And he’s in his early thirties.” She’d only then realized she’d never asked him his age.
Nick turned his head and stared at her for a moment, seemingly assessing if she was telling the truth. “There are a lot of leeches out there. Seriously, you have to be careful. I’ve heard about men who scam older women and take everything they have.”
Jane laughed. “You just can’t believe someone wants me for myself, can you? For your information, Ryan owns a very successful restaurant. He hardly needs or wants my money—not that there’s much of it anyway.”
Instead of rising to her anger, Nick sighed. “Hey, I’m sorry. I just didn’t expect you to move on so fast.”
Jane turned and met his gaze. She raised her eyebrows, and he turned his attention back to the road. “Shit,” he muttered.
“You gave up the right to know anything about my love life the second you cheated on me, Nick.”
“You know I’m sorry about that. It was the worst mistake I’ve ever made. If I could take it back, I would. People do make mistakes. I’m not asking for your forgiveness because I don’t think I’d ever get it. What I’m asking is for you to consider getting back together. I still love you. I’ve never stopped.”
She had often wondered if she should forgive Nick, until the day when she’d finally realized forgiveness wasn’t an option. He was right. She doubted she’d ever forgive him for betraying her trust. “Yes, people do make mistakes. Unfortunately, I can’t see past yours.”
“Don’t hate me for what I’m about to say.”
Jane braced herself. “Do I even want to hear it?”
“Probably not, but here it goes anyway. The way I see it, we’re even, now. We’ve both had our flings, but now we can choose to go back to being the team we once were. Think about it, Jane. We’re in the prime of our lives. We have no money issues. We can do what we want. Go on vacations, eat at great restaurants, buy anything we want. You have to admit, it’s a pretty attractive option. Plus, it’d make Tyler happy.”
Jane thought about his words for a moment. “You don’t get it, do you? We’re not even. Not at all. You committed adultery. I didn’t. You had your fling while we were married. That’s very different from me dating someone, now that our divorce is final. And how low can you go by bringing Tyler into this argument? Besides, what makes you think mine is just a fling?”
“I’m stopping for gas. I used most of mine idling in your parking lot, waiting for you to get home.” That was Nick-speak for I’m not winning this debate so I’m changing the subject and will try to make you feel bad about it. He took the next exit and pulled into the nearest gas station.
Jane rubbed her temples when he was out of view. Why did she let him get under her skin? Like it or not, she knew Nick’s ways almost as well as she knew her own. She shouldn’t let him get to her.
Minutes passed, and Jane tried not to fidget, begrudging this albeit necessary delay. When she heard the gas cap screw into place, she took a deep, relieved breath, and braced herself for Round Two.
But Nick, sliding back into the driver’s seat, only said, “All set. We have another hour or so to go. Why don’t you try to close your eyes until we get there?”
Jane turned away from him and gazed out the window, but instead of sleeping, she found herself thinking about what her life would be like if she reconciled with Nick. Sure, they’d be free of money issues. She made a good income, and Nick made a great one. They’d live in New York and would probably eventually buy a condo in Florida or somewhere else warm. She’d treat herself to days at the spa, go shopping on Fifth Avenue, and have lunch with friends. But would she ever truly trust him again? Could she ever relax into the luxury of knowing that she was his only interest?
No. She knew she’d never look at him and see the same man she’d married. And the prospect seemed intolerable.
But then new questions wormed their way into her brain. How many longtime married women still actually trusted their husbands? How many turned a willingly blind eye to their mate’s indiscretions, in exchange for financial stability? How many traded away their sense of self-worth for the sake of the creature comforts of a secure home and the public façade of a long-term marriage?
She had tried to sweep it under an ugly rug of lies and deception, but it never went away. In the end, the price had been too high, the sacrifice too dear. Lonely but resolute, she had turned away from the hollow shell of her empty marriage.
And then she had met Ryan.
As bitter as it had been to stand and listen while Maya stripped away the lovely illusion of what her weekend in San Antonio had really meant to him, Jane found that she couldn’t wholly regret her experience there. Even though her time with Ryan had turned out to be a wonderful fantasy that came to life, he’d helped open her eyes to a fresh sense of who she was and who she might yet become.
Oh, Ryan…
Her heart ached, and she could beat herself at having been such a naïve and self-deluding fool. But she and Ryan had still shared moments of kindness, and of pleasure, and of passion.
However high the cost to her pride, those were the memories she would continue to treasure.
Chapter Eleven
Jane woke with a jolt. Straightening in her seat, she blinked the sleep from her eyes.
The lights of an imposing EMERGENCY sign glared back at her, reminding Jane abruptly of the reason she was at a local hospital in the sticks of Pennsylvania.
She assessed the exterior of the sad building, but it was devoid of anything uplifting. Her heart began to beat hard and fast in her chest as her mother-bear instincts took hold. Her baby was hurt and alone in a place that didn’t even care enough to plant some early fall flowers in its chipped cement planters. But she was here, now, and she would protect him.
“We’re getting Tyler transferred to a bigger hospital. Maybe in Philly, or one of the New York hospitals,” Jane said as she unfastened her seatbelt, pushed the car door open, and stood. Every joint hurt. She hadn’t realized how stiff she had become, folded into Nick’s answer to his midlife crisis.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. They seemed pretty competent on the phone,” Nick answered as they headed toward the sliding glass doors.
Inside, a pleasant-looking woman manned the front desk. She smiled at them. “How can I help you?”
“We’re Tyler Keegan’s parents. He was in a car accident.”
The woman checked the computer monitor. “He’s in Room Ten. One moment and I’ll get someone to take you back.”
After a few minutes a woman in scrubs approached and led Jane and Nick through a heavy door and down a short hallway. “Tyler? Your parents are here.”
Jane took a look at her son and breathed deep, steadying herself. His face, bruised and swollen, looked like it had been stitched under his eye, and his arm was in a sling. The last thing she wanted to do was scare him by having a horrified look on her own face, so she plastered on her best smile. “Tyler.”
“Mom.” His voice was muffled through his fat lip. “I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault, sweetheart.”
“I know how worried you get.”
“Are you in pain?” she asked. If she could, she’d absorb every bit of his discomfort.
“Nah. I’m okay. If you think I look bad, you should see the other guy.”
Jane laughed. It was their inside joke. Whenever Tyler had come home with bruises from football, he’d said the same thing. Bless his heart, he always knew how to take the edge off of her worry, even the time he’d broken his ribs… His ribs!
“Did you tell them you broke your ribs a couple years ago?”
Tyler grunted and nodded his head. “I think I re-broke them.”
Jane’s gaze moved to the bandages on his chest, as Nick moved to the other side of the bed. “Hey,
champ.”
“Hi, Dad.”
Nick reached down and squeezed Tyler’s uninjured hand.
“Do you know how Mark is?” Tyler asked. “They told me he was okay. He was able to get out of the car after the crash. He was still trying to get me out when the police came.”
“We haven’t heard, yet. Dad and I are going to talk to the doctor so we can find out what’s going on. But we’ll be back, okay?”
Tyler nodded. “I’m a little tired.”
“Close your eyes and rest, sweetheart.” Jane pressed a careful kiss to his forehead, and followed Nick from the room.
“He’s going to be okay,” Nick said.
“I know he is. Thank God.” Tyler looked broken and bruised, but she knew the minute he’d started talking that he would be okay.
Jane walked with Nick to the nurses’ station, where a set of parents stood next to a boy in a wheelchair. Jane recognized the boy from when she’d moved Tyler into his dorm. “Mark?”
“Mr. and Mrs. K! I’m sorry. The guy came out of nowhere and hit us. There was nothing I could do,” Mark explained. “How’s Ty?”
“Some broken bones, but he’s going to be just fine. How are you?”
“I’m okay. Tyler got the worst of it. The guy hit us on his side. Good thing he’s such a monster,” Mark said, and chuckled. Jane compared Mark’s slight frame with her son’s, and figured Mark probably wouldn’t have been as lucky as Tyler if he’d been in the passenger seat.
Jane turned her attention to Mark’s mother and father. “I’m Jane, and this is Nick. We’re Tyler’s parents.”
“These kids certainly know how to give us gray hair. It’s nice to meet you. We’re glad Tyler’s going to be okay. Please let us know if there’s anything we can do,” Mark’s mother said. She had dark circles under her eyes. Jane supposed she was sporting her own baggage, too.
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