by Jess Buffett
“Definitely. Your uncle was the one who encouraged us, supported us, and when we weren’t sure what decisions to make, guided us in the right direction.” Byron shot a doubting look at me, obviously remembering the past as I did, but not realizing that while I may not have understood back then, I did now. “Even if we didn’t know it at the time.”
Something sparked in Byron’s hazel eyes, and if I wasn’t mistaken it looked close to relief.
“Well, I appreciate that, gents.” The older man flushed a little, and for the life of me I couldn’t take my eyes away from him. “You’ve done a hell of a job. I’m proud of you.”
“And on that note, if we could hurry this up?” Phillip interrupted obnoxiously.
Part of me wanted to laugh at the man’s behavior. We were used to it after all, but another part of me wanted to reach over a slap him for trying to send Byron away so soon.
However, photos, questions, and some more photos later I finally found a chance to pull Byron off to the side for a second.
The moment I laid my palm on the man’s arm, I fought a shudder. Honestly, I really shouldn’t have been having such a strong reaction to him. It had been years since that embarrassing classroom display, yet all of a sudden it felt like yesterday.
“Can we talk?’ I asked hesitantly.
Byron nodded, allowing me to tug him over to a vacant corner. The whole time Byron kept his gaze locked onto his niece, tracking her moves and not letting her out of his sight. It was endearing. And I needed to stop thinking like that immediately.
“Everything okay?” he asked, glancing over at me.
“I could ask you the same thing,” I said pointedly.
The older man winced, not even pretending to misunderstand my question. “Depends, I guess. How badly do you hate me?”
At the unsuspecting reply, I laughed. “I never hated you, Byron.” He shot me a skeptical look, and I relented. “Okay, maybe I did, but that didn’t last long. Not when I realized you did it for my own good.”
“Oh yeah.” Byron tilted his head to the side, a curious grin playing to his lips. “And how long did that take?”
“Longer than I’d care to admit,” I answered with a smirk, almost immediately sobering when I could see the doubt in his eyes. “Seriously though, I get it. And thank you, for doing what I couldn’t.”
“I almost didn’t,” Byron whispered, glancing down as if ashamed, and I had to do a double take.
“What?” I asked taking a cautious step forward. Normally I didn’t take such risks in public, but then nothing about my reactions to this man was ever normal. “What does that mean?”
Byron shook his head, chuckling humorlessly. “It was so hard to send you away. I knew it was the right thing to do. It didn’t matter how old you were. I was your teacher. It was wrong for me to look at you that way. Telling you to go was the right thing. You couldn’t turn your back on all this, I couldn’t let you.”
With my breath lodged in my throat, I took a step back, trying to compose myself. I had so many questions and so much I wanted to say to him, but right then was neither the time nor the place. Frustration gnawed at me. Things were never simple.
Staring off to the right my eyes caught on Ashlyn, Dillon’s wife, her blonde hair falling back as she laughed at something Issy, Zeck’s girl, had said. When the sound of their chatter reached the guys, both Dillon and Zeck turned in the girls’ direction, their expressions of adoration and love.
A small pang hit me when I realized I wanted that. Someone to look at me like that, someone who stood off to the side of the stage for hours just waiting for me to be done. I wanted to feel what Zeck and Dillon were feeling right in that moment, and when I glanced back at Byron it hit me that maybe I could, even if it was only for a brief time.
“Are you free tomorrow night?” I asked abruptly.
My question threw him, his expression confused. “Ah, yeah. No plans.”
I swallowed down my nerves and forged on. “Then grab a drink with me, yeah?”
If Byron was surprised by my request, he didn’t show it. “Okay.”
I tried to hide how elated I felt at his quick answer, knowing I had failed miserably when he grinned. We exchanged numbers discreetly, constantly checking the room to see that there were no eyes on us.
When Phillip called me over to speak to another group, I went reluctantly, knowing I would see Byron soon enough. As I greeted the new people, one girl around my own age telling me how much she loved my tattoos and that she knew every single one I had, I laughed.
“Oh, I doubt that.” The wink I sent her had the pretty thing shaking.
“No really, I do,” she insisted. “I have all your posters in my room, and on my laptop and my phone, and—”
Unable to help myself I leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially. “Yeah, but what about the ones you can’t see?”
It took a moment for the girl to catch on, and then she flushed, giggling along with her friends. Honestly, she was downright adorable and had I swung that way I probably would have made some sort of move. As it was, that mere thought had me searching out for Byron again, seeing him laughing it up with Zeck on the other side of them room.
A frisson of jealousy washed through me at the sight, and I shoved the ludicrous feeling down as hard as I could. Zeck had no interest in Byron, and if the looks I was receiving were any indication, Byron held no interest in Zeck. I just had to be patient and wait to have that attention back on me.
Tomorrow, I told myself. Just have to wait until tomorrow.
****
“Where the hell are you off to?” Dillon grinned as he caught me trying to sneak out of our hotel suit the following night.
Technically it was a penthouse with five bedrooms with their own en-suites, a kitchen, plus a dining and lounge room. Which meant that I had had to make my way through the common area on my way out.
Shit!
“Ah, nowhere?”
“Bullshit.” Dillon leaned against the doorway effectively cutting off my way out. “Now, tell us where ya sneakin’ off to.”
I sighed. “Jesus, nowhere in particular, okay? Just wanted to get out for a bit. That all right? What do you care?”
Dillon’s smirked didn’t fade. If anything it grew. “Well, since when are you the one who sneaks out? You never break the rules the label sets down. Guess I’m curious what it is that could have you acting this way. Or is it a who?”
“Just because every decision you make is with your prick, doesn’t mean the rest of us do, Dill,” Zeck said with a chuckle.
Dillon’s brows rose, and I groaned at the ensuing banter that was no doubt about to break out between them. “Says the one who literally got caught with his pants down.”
“My arse is fabulous. People should be grateful for the chance to see it,” Zeck retorted, not the least bit embarrassed.
Dillon went to reply, and I slapped my hand across his mouth. “No. Whatever you’re about to say … no. It won’t end well, and it will just take longer for me to actually get out of here.”
Instead of trying to speak, his green eyes sparkled with mirth as the fucker stuck his tongue out and licked my hand. I wrenched it back glaring at the prick as I shoved him to the side. Fortunately, he went easily. “That’s fucking gross.”
“Ha. He did that to me the other day when I was trying to get him to shut his trap.” Alec chuckled from where he lounged on an armchair, fiddling with his guitar. “Hey, D. Should we let Ashlyn know about your proclivity to make out with certain body parts? I mean honestly, there is just far too much kink going on in this group.”
Alec dodged the pillow Zeck aimed at his head but wasn’t quick enough for the plastic bottle Dillon threw at him. “Little shit, come’re and say that to me.”
Dillon lunged at the youngest member of their group, a maniacal laughter springing from Alec as he launched himself out of his seat and ran for his bedroom door.
“And on that note, I’m heading out.
I’ll see you all later.”
I took the opening and hightailed out of there before someone else tried to stop me, grateful that Zeck had distracted Dillon long enough for me to make my escape.
I owed the lads big time.
Chapter Two
Byron
Taking a sip of the ale I had ordered, I looked towards to doorway for the third time in a matter of minutes, wondering where on earth Law could be. The younger man had said to meet him at this little hole in the wall at eight, and it was now eight-thirty with no Law in sight.
Of course the idea that I had been stood up had crossed my mind, but I quickly squashed that when I recalled how eager he had been to see me again after the concert. Sitting in the small pub in the middle of London was not my typical Sunday night, yet there hadn’t been a chance in hell that I would have turned down Law’s offer for drinks. I just had to be patient. Hell, I had waited that long already. What was another hour?
I hadn’t seen the lads in years. Naturally I had tried to stay up to date with their success as much as possible, astutely avoiding any and all tabloid crap along the way, but I had convinced myself it was merely a passing interest in the boys I had once taught. And then I would remember that moment in the music room with Law on his final day at the high school.
God, I was a mess.
My niece had been a huge fan of the boys of Right Time since they began, and when Emma had told me about all the trouble the lads had been getting into of late, I noticed that in all the scandal, Law was never once mentioned. That sent me on a search to find out exactly what had been going on in their lives, in particular, Law’s. And that’s when I discovered that while there was plenty to be found on Dillon, Zeck, and Alec, there was very little on Law. Suddenly I had wanted nothing more than to see them, to see him. It was stupid and irrational, but I did it anyway.
What was it that drew me to the younger man? I had tried to place my finger on it back then and had been just as unsuccessful. Was it his fame? His talent? Was I really that shallow? I didn’t think so, but I also couldn’t work out what it was about Law that had me seeking him out all these years later, still fantasizing about the afternoon in the music room.
Getting my niece those tickets for her and her friends had been a strategic plan. No one would second guess a man who had so kindly taken his teenage niece to see her favorite boy-band in concert. Nor would they find it unusual for him to join her backstage, to keep an eye on her.
Once there I knew I’d see Law. What I had expected after was anyone's guess because honestly my plan hadn’t gone that far. Its results, though, were more than I could have ever hoped for.
When I looked over for the fourth time, I finally sighed in relief.
Blue eyes brightened the moment they fell on me, and damned if that didn’t make my heart, as well as other appendages, leap to attention. Shit, the kid had some hold on me, for sure.
At five foot ten, lean and sinewy, Law gave off an almost delicate masculinity. Peeking out from under his short sleeve shirt I could see a number a tattoos covering him all the way down to his wrist. They were scattered artistically, and if I stared even closer, which I absolutely was, I could see a hint of something at the V-neck of his top.
His platinum blond hair fell forward to curtain his eyes as he sent me a small nod, showing that when it wasn’t spiked up, the locks held a little extra length at the front. As he drew closer I saw that tiny studs sat in both ears, something that had completely slipped my notice the other day.
Soft, plump lips tilted into a warm smile by the time he reached me, and I needed to remind myself how to breathe.
It was official. I was sixteen again.
“Hey,” he greeted me as soon as he was in speaking range.
Fortunately, the pub wasn’t too loud, just the steady stream of conversation floating while music played quietly in the background. No band stood on stage tonight, so what was usually a packed establishment only seemed to be filled with regulars.
“Hey back. Almost thought you weren’t coming,” I half joked.
Guilt and apology shone through his eyes as he grimaced. “I’m sorry. The lads were being dicks, and arguing, and … well, you know how it is with a group of guys.”
I nodded even if I really didn’t. I had never had a large group of friends growing up. There had been a close few, and then even fewer when I came out at university. Sure, I made more after that, but most of them were like me, quiet, calm and not into a lot of attention.
The young man in front of me was none of those things. He lived and breathed a world I doubted I could ever understand or fit into.
Even now as Law slipped on to the stool beside mine, he seemed tense and alert.
“You look nervous?” I asked, watching as Law’s eyes flittered around the room. It was as if the guy expected someone to jump out and mug him. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, of course,” he said unconvincingly as he fidgeted in his seat, indicating to the bartender for a drink like mine.
“Uh-uh.” I watched him a little more, noticing his agitation seemed to grow not settle as time went on. “So you just normally look like a startled rabbit?”
That caught his attention as Law slowly turned to me, a small smile finally tilting the edges of his lips. “Rabbit? Really?”
“Hey, you’re the one acting all weird on me.”
Law’s expression was one of chagrin as he accepted his drink from the bartender and took a sip. “Sorry about that. It’s just, with all the pressure we’ve gotten from the label lately, one can never be too careful.”
“Pressure?”
“Well, you know, between Dillon and his baby mum, and Zeck being caught out in an international kinky sex scandal, the record company isn’t too thrilled with us right now. I think if we didn’t bring in the kind of money we did they would have dropped us.” Law chuckled with what I assumed was supposed to be good humor, but came out more awkward than anything. “We’re expected to be a certain way. We all have our labels.”
“Labels?”
Eyes lighting up with humor, Law grinned. “Yeah, you know, Dillon’s the cocky ladies’ man, Zeck’s the kinky and mysterious one, and Alec’s the baby of the group.”
“What about you?” I asked, more curious than I thought I’d be.
Law snorted. “The blond one.”
I blinked in surprise. “The blond one?”
“Yeah.” He laughed. “Well, in truth I’m more the blond one that smiles all the time, I guess. I don’t mind. I’ve always been something. When I was younger I was the kid with glasses. When I got older I was the kid with the weird arse name no one could pronounce. Now I’m the blond one that smiles a lot.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. While it was amusing, I could see the obvious strain it put on him to always be on and happy. Then I recalled the part he mentioned about his name.
Przemyslaw.
Fascination had struck me when I had learned the kid's real name. “I never got to ask, where did your name come from?”
With a grimace, Law explained, “My mother’s side of the family is Polish. Przemyslaw is a traditional name that is passed down from firstborn son, onwards. However my grandparents had all girls, and I had the unfortunate luck to be the first male born in my generation. When I was old enough I had it shortened. Now it’s only my family that call me that, or the lads when their being arseholes and are clearly askin’ for a beating.”
“Wow, I honestly don’t blame you. I mean, it’s not a terrible name,” I said, chuckling as Law rolled his eyes in disbelief. “Yeah, okay, it’s not great. I know how long it took me to learn how to say it properly.”
Law side-eyed me. “If I recall correctly, you butchered it just like everyone else.”
I threw my head back and laughed at that. “True. I really did, didn’t I?”
“Yup. Only one person outside of my family can say it without struggling.”
“Oh yeah, who is that?”
My eyebrows rose at that. “Zeck? He never seemed the type to concentrate long enough for something like that. The only thing I ever saw him focus on was music and girls. Not particularly in the order.”
“I know, right?” Law said, and there was a pale blue lightening of amusement between his lashes. “He hasn’t changed all that much, but I tell ya, sometimes the man can surprise you.” Suddenly his eyes became flat and unreadable as his tone turned serious. “Still, he gets to be who he is. No regrets, no doubt.”
Concern rose in me as I finally registered that the difference I saw in the younger man earlier wasn’t so much confidence, a virtue Law had never struggled with, but an underlying tension as though he was always on guard.
I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to live that kind of life. Always having to watch everything I said and did. I remembered the difficulties I faced before I came out, first at university and then when I became a teacher. Hiding who I was had been exhausting and time-consuming.
With that thought, my heart sank with the realization that Law was now the one hiding.
“You’re not out, are you?”
As I saw him flinch, I knew the answer even before Law spoke. “Not … really.”
Now it was my turn to feel uncomfortable.
“What does not really mean?”
“It means … no.” Law sighed, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea to let it get out, ya know? We’ve got enough going on, and the label doesn’t want any more shit to deal with. Besides it's not really anyone's business.”
“Maybe I should go,” I said as I made a move to stand.
With all the grief and heartache I had faced over the years I had made a point of staying away from closeted men and straight guys looking to experiment. I had learned the hard way that nothing good ever came from getting involved with someone who couldn’t be honest about themselves, at least to the people they cared about most. Mainly because at the end of the day if they couldn’t be open for their own sake, they sure as fuck weren’t going to do it for mine.
It sucked. It was fact. It was life.