We walked from the aisle, but not before she grabbed two books from the shelf and took them to the counter. I waited while she checked them out, wondering just how many books she read in a week. Every time I saw her, she was stuck in a new one. Opening the door, I held it as she walked out.
“How many books do you read?”
“About six a week or so, sometimes more,” she replied.
The door closed behind me and I fell into step beside her. The cafeteria was a few feet away. The girl I called a bitch earlier was standing against the coke machine while a group of guys surrounded her. Francesca tensed beside me.
“I’ll get yours,” I offered. “What do you want?”
“A turkey sandwich if they have it,” she replied.
“That all?”
She nodded. “I’ll be outside.” She handed me a five from her pocket before I could decline it.
Once I got back outside, she was sitting on the steps picking lint off her pant leg. I handed the sandwich, a diet coke (cause that’s what I’d saw her drinking before), and the five back to her.
“Cade,” she scolded. “Take the money.”
“On me,” I grinned. “Wanna tell me what’s up with bitchy britches?”
She giggled. “Who?”
“That girl. The one by the coke machines that made your whole face go pale.”
“Oh,” she said, her mouth shaping like the O and staying that way for a few.
It was sexy as hell. Imagining her lips elsewhere had me internally cursing myself for possibly corrupting her.
“She’s a girl in my class,” she shrugged.
“Uh huh.” I nodded along. “And?”
“She doesn’t like me.”
“Why not?” I questioned.
“I couldn’t tell you,” she answered, taking a bite of her sandwich. “She’s been like that since sixth grade.”
“You should stand up to her,” I suggested.
She laughed and almost spit her drink. “I have. Made it worse.”
“Oh. Want me to kill her?”
She smacked my arm, but her face lit in a smile that took my breath away. “Cade.”
“I’d do it for you.” I said it so sincere I believed it. I really would do anything for this girl.
She looked at me, long lashes blinking every so often. She studied me, then said, “I think I believe you would.”
I gave her a half smile and shrugged. “Anything for you, Francesca.”
I printed doubles of a photo we took at lunch one day. I wasn’t sure if he’d want it, but I was going to give it to him anyway. I clutched it against my folder as I walked from my first class of the day. Cade was generally easy to find, as his class was just down the hall from mine. Scanning for him, I felt my stomach clench in anticipation.
Was I being too forward?
When his dark hair came into view, the knots grew tighter. Stopping at my locker, I switched books and attempted to keep the photo hidden from nosy and prying eyes around me. The people in my class liked to gossip and I wasn’t up to hearing things about me that weren’t true. They took one little bit of information and made a whole novel from it.
“Francesca,” he sang in my ear.
Turning, I locked eyes with him. “Hey, Cade,” I said. My chest felt like it would burst from my heart beating so quickly.
“Whatcha doin?” he grinned.
I shut my locker door. “Getting my books. I have something for you.”
His blue eyes grew wide and the grin grew wider. “Give it to me.”
“I printed you a copy of the picture we took,” I said nervously. Handing it to him, I studied his face for his reaction.
His eyes crinkled at the edges and his whole face seemed to light up. “I’m gonna put it in my locker.”
Stunned, I pulled back from him a little. “What?”
“Let’s go hang it up. You’re class is downstairs where my locker is.” He took my arm and guided me down the hall. His touch was gentle, yet electrifying.
How was it possible he caused so many emotions in such a short span of time?
I watched him as we walked, his face determined and his lips moving from a half smile to a full blown one. We walked through the crowd, him nodding to friends along the way. We made our way to his locker where he tried to stick the picture to the door, then the walls. “It won’t stay.”
“You need magnets or tape,” I chuckled.
“Oh, right.” He ran in his classroom and reappeared with the tape dispenser. “Here we go.” He tore off an extra long piece, then taped the picture to the door, level with his eyes. He looked back at me and grinned. “Perfect.”
I smiled with him and nodded. It did look nice. It thrilled me to see us on his locker door. His arm wrapped around me while we both smiled like two young idiots falling in love.
It’s what we were, whether we realized it or not.
I was an idiot over Christmas break. Francesca, sweet and innocent Francesca, was on my mind but I let my desires win. One drunken night and a one night stand ruined everything. People would talk. She would know and the worst part would be the hurt she’d feel. It would radiate from her, the sadness surrounding her like an aura.
Because of me.
Because I was an idiot.
Because I couldn’t say no to alcohol and advances from a chick with big tits.
Jade Smithson was a party girl who’d tried and failed many times, but in a moment of weakness, I gave in. I found her at a party. Her hair was a dull blonde, her eyes green. She wasn’t pretty, not in the least. She annoyed the hell out of me, in fact. But she went to parties with me. She was a decent lay, and she cared about me more than I cared about her. It was perfect. I hadn’t spoken to her since, but knew she’d been around in school. Two weeks away from school, away from Francesca, left me feeling weak and vulnerable.
I hated that about myself.
I liked to have a good time, smoke some pot and drink some beer. Francesca wasn’t a girl who would do that stuff, though. I knew that. She was everything good about me. It’s why I couldn’t let myself be with her, to let her know how I truly felt.
I’d hurt her.
I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt her fragile, wonderful heart.
She deserved so much more than I could offer. I decided I would avoid her as much as possible. She probably wouldn’t want to see me anyway.
Cade was avoiding me, acting strange, being weird. He still said hi in the hallways, but didn’t walk me to class or chat with me during breaks or at lunch. Rumors spread quickly around here and when I’d heard about his actions at the New Year’s party, the pain was something I’d never felt before.
Soul crushing and heartbreaking, but what did I expect? He wasn’t mine. We weren’t together. Not telling him how I felt, only assuming he knew, was probably a mistake.
Longing looks were often exchanged as we passed like strangers.
Uneasiness filled me from head to toe each morning before school.
Starting sophomore year, I hadn’t expected for Cade to happen.
I hadn’t expected to fall in love.
Having never been in love, I wasn’t sure if I was with Cade until the moment I heard he’d been with Jade Smithson. My heart clenched in pain when Daphne rushed to me the day after break ended, her face contoured in anguish as she whispered the words in my ear. My stomach felt like it fell to my feet and all the sounds around me died down, sounding like nothing more than a buzz in my head. I’d simply nodded in response and walked off.
The rest of that day was a blur as I wondered aimlessly and avoided Cade at all costs. The past few weeks were mostly the same.
But today, today was different. Snuggled in my favorite reading nook outside the library, I was stunned when Cade plopped down beside me, coke in hand. Marking my place, I lay the book in my lap. “Hey.”
“I do stupid shit,” he said. He took a long swig of his drink.
I nodded. “I heard.”
/> “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I don’t know why I did it.”
I didn’t say anything. He didn’t confirm whether he was drinking or doing drugs when it occurred. He’d never confirmed those rumors were true anyway. He moved his hand to my knee, almost touched it, then pulled away.
“I can see why you wouldn’t want to be friends anymore.”
I shrugged. “I’m not the one who stopped talking.”
“You’re too good to be hanging out with a guy like me.” He said it quietly and uneasily.
I said nothing. We sat in silence, an unspoken forgiveness evident as we spent the rest of lunch together. With Cade words weren’t required. Each look spoke volumes. Each touch elicited enough emotion to fill a room. And that day, though we didn’t speak much, we were back on track.
People made mistakes.
I wasn’t sure if he deserved it, but I’d decided to give him a second chance.
Francesca Taymon was more than I deserved. She knew I screwed up, yet she still granted me her beautiful smile. The past month she’d treated me better than I ever should have been treated. She was kind and sweet when she shouldn’t even have looked my way.
I had a problem. Drinking helped me not feel. It made life with my father easier. Alcohol was stashed all over the house. My dad regularly held parties for his architecture friends and Mom made sure the house was adequately stocked.
I didn’t think they had any idea I snuck a bottle to my room almost every night. Sometimes I went to school with it fresh on my breath.
Francesca made me not want to drink.
It was a first.
So today, I took her a rose for Valentine’s Day. Dating wasn’t really my thing. The girlfriends I had in the past weren’t really the romantic type. They were party, have sex, and smoke pot kind of girlfriends.
Not that Francesca was my girlfriend.
She needed a proper boyfriend. One who could take her out and call her and not get drunk and forget every damned thing he promised.
Not someone like me.
I twirled the rose as I drove to school, trying to figure out when I’d give it to her. Taking it in the school wasn’t a good idea. Everyone would see. They’d talk.
I hated talk.
Leaving it in the car, I strolled inside and managed to get through most of the day not seeing Francesca. It was awful. By lunch, I was anxious to see her and wondering if I should give her the rose or not. Was it going to complicate things more? Would she get the wrong idea?
What exactly was the right idea?
Francesca created feelings in me I didn’t know what to do with. She made me want to be better, but I couldn’t lead her on. I couldn’t be someone she needed right now.
But I wanted her to feel special. Because she was. She was the most amazing girl I’d ever met. She was the type of girl I could see myself falling in love with.
And it scared the shit out of me.
At lunch, I cornered her as she headed toward the library and told her to meet me after school. One of Jade’s friends overheard, but I hadn’t realized until it was too late. After the bell rang, I rushed outside and to my car to wait for her. The plan was to wish her a Happy Valentine’s Day and offer to drive her home. Any time with Francesca made me feel like a better person.
Jade’s friend, Amy, gave her a heads up and she made it to the car before Francesca. Peering inside, she looked at me with a wide grin. “Why, Cade Kelling, did you get me a flower?” she said in a fake, high-pitched tone.
“No,” I said. “Can you leave me alone, Jade?” I asked when I saw Francesca walking down the sidewalk.
Jade followed my gaze and her face grew angry. “I see. You got it for that little tramp. I bet she won’t even let you get your dick wet.”
“Jade….”
“No, no. It’s fine. I’ll just see you at the next party,” she said loudly. “I know how much fun we had last time.” She sauntered off and glanced back at me with a grin. It showed she knew Francesca heard.
I hated that bitch.
Francesca gulped beside me and spoke softly. “You wanted to see me?”
I saw the hurt in her eyes, heard the pain in her voice. “I got you something for Valentine’s Day.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why?”
“Why?” she asked again, her voice now angry. “Why do you even bother? You and Jade obviously have something. She wants you or cares. You don’t ask me out, you don’t talk to me outside of school. What are you doing exactly, Cade?”
Her questions stunned me and I was speechless.
“That’s what I thought. Let me know if you get it figured out.” She walked away, leaving me holding the rose by the end of the stem as I watched her. My heart felt like it was going with her.
Cade hadn’t spoken to me since the day in the parking lot and I missed him. He gave me longing looks in the hall, even opened his mouth to speak a few times, but nothing ever came of it. I hadn’t seen him with Jade since that day, but it meant nothing. He skipped more days than he was there. She was a delight, though, and often muttered names under her breath when we passed each other in the halls.
Tramp.
Slut.
Whore.
Stalker.
It was almost like she was trying to describe herself. Daphne was the only person I talked to at school these days. People were so fake and full of themselves. They only wanted gossip and I refused to give them any.
Each day I missed him a little more. I wished he could answer my questions.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t be away from her any longer. Following her to the bus stop after school, I sat beside her and said the two most simple yet difficult words. “I’m sorry.”
She looked at me, tears brimming in her eyes, and asked, “Why?”
“For hurting you. For being me. For not being the person you deserve.”
“I miss you, Cade,” she whispered. “I thought we were friends.”
I took her hand and squeezed it. “We are. I’m here for you. I promise I’ll try to be better, Francesca.”
I meant it in that moment. The deepest part of me truly desired to be a better man for her. I hoped I was ready.
I’d finally obtained my license and was allowed to drive my mom’s old car to school. It wasn’t much to look at, but it beat taking two busses every day. Since I got bored a lot (I somehow managed to finish all my schoolwork and ended up with no homework. Every single day.), I would drive around town after school and see if there was anything to get into, or anyone to talk to. That’s what teenagers did, right?
It was a beautiful spring day with the sun shining brightly and just a few clouds decorating the sky. The trees and flowers were in full bloom, giving everything a new beginning feel and heavenly smell. I rolled down the windows, breathing the fresh air deep in my lungs. I’d made it through half the town when I saw him. He leaned against his vehicle, hands deep in his pockets, and his mind lost in thought. His boot trailed a circle in the dirt. When the light turned green, I pulled the car to a stop behind him, smiling and cocking my head in question. He strutted forward, a delighted smile on his face and gleam in his eyes.
“Francesca? What are you doing?” he asked, leaning down where his arm rested on my window seal and his face was no more than five inches from mine.
“I was just out and about and saw you standing there. Everything ok?” I asked, tucking a stray hair behind my ear.
He smiled brightly. “My car isn’t working at the moment. My dad has to come get it.”
“Oh, that’s awful,” I said, thinking about my next move. I did something I didn’t even think I could. “Do you want a ride somewhere?” I questioned hopefully. I wanted to spend some time with him alone. We hadn’t since the day we skipped school, and just talking to him in the halls wasn’t enough. Now that I drove everywhere, I didn’t get to see him at the bus stop either. My heart sped up in anticipation.
He looked at me,
his mind reeling. I could almost see the wheels turning. “Let’s ride around and see if there’s anything to do,” he suggested, jogging around to the passenger door. He slid in, his face beaming with excitement.
I just prayed I wouldn’t wreck the car in his presence.
“So, what’s up?” he asked, snapping the seat belt buckle.
“Not much,” I said, glancing at him for a moment. “I got bored with just my sister to talk to, so I came out to town.”
“How old is your sister?” he asked.
“Thirteen. She’ll be coming to high school soon. Yay,” I said, not at all excited. I threw my arm up, mocking a happy wave.
He laughed. “It’s not as bad as you’d think. My brother, Cason, came this year. Me a senior, and him a freshman. I was worried, but he’s ended up more popular than I am, so it’s all good.”
I giggled. “I doubt that,” I said, turning the car onto a back road.
“Oh, I know where we can go,” he said, moving swiftly in his seat.
I grabbed my heart. “You startled me! I’ve only been driving a few months. No. Sudden. Movements. Cade.” I said, glaring at him out of the corner of my eye.
He stifled a laugh, his eyes growing wide. He reached out, his hand rubbing my thigh. “Sorry,” he said, gently. He looked forward, not moving his ever growing warm hand. “Turn right on the next road,” he instructed.
I did as he told me, my mind not breaking away from his hand caressing my knee. He killed me every time he did that. He drove me crazy in ways I didn’t know were possible. I searched my surroundings, not seeing a business anywhere in site. Or even any homes. “Where are we going?” I inquired.
He squeezed my knee and released his grip. “Up ahead, pull into that gravel area.”
I did as I was told, my curiosity going wild. I parked the car, turning to him for answers. He simply smiled and got out of the car. I followed, hot on his trail. “Cade…” I said, my stomach gripping in knots. I trusted him…but I couldn’t help but think of every single scary story I had watched or read. You never go in the woods with a boy. Ever.
Blooming Hearts: Scarred Hearts Prequel Page 3