by Lucia Ashta
I’m sorry, I said, so softly it was a whisper though the chambers of our minds.
He crossed his arms and studied me. I sensed his attention crawl across my body. He might not be able to see me, but he was trying. His eyes were trained on the space I occupied, as if the power of his attention alone could drive me to materialize—perhaps it could.
Finally, when I’d started to squirm with nerves again, he said, I believe you.
Thank you, I said, unsure what the proper response was.
That will do, he said. How is it that you are invisible to the sight when I feel you are still here with us?
I shrugged, an expression no one saw. How is it that you blend into your surroundings like shadows?
Because this is how we are. It’s how we’ve always been.
Well then this is how I am, how I’ve always been. I’d only just learned to become visible. Invisibility was my body’s natural state, the one I’d been born with, the one that had stumped the midwife to locate a baby she could only hear and feel.
But you can turn your invisibility off. We cannot turn off our shadow merging.
So that’s what they called it! We’d never seen anyone like you until the other day.
She’s right, Dean said. We were unaware your people existed.
We keep to ourselves. But we knew of you.
How? I blurted out, but I already suspected the answer, as I’m sure Dean did as well.
A man filled with magic came to us with tales of his people, who hurt the dragons.
Dean’s jaw flexed as he fought to control a sharp wave of anger. That man tells you nothing but lies.
A few beats, which would define our safety, thumped by loudly, marked by the thud of my heart. I believe that. The invisible girl cares for the dragon at her side.
I do, I said. She’s my responsibility.
How did she come to be your responsibility?
Her mother rejected her for her differences, and threw her off a cliff to kill her. She survived, and I’ve been caring for her ever since. I hesitated, then added, This man who told you lies about us, he used to be our leader. He deceived us as he did you. He wanted to take her to learn about a dragon’s relationship to faithum, magic. I was doing a bit of prying. As of yet, I didn’t understand how great a dragon’s connection to faithum might be.
The shadow man said, The little dragon is connected to you. Do you ride her?
No, I said right away, but was left wondering, Could I ride her? She was little, but strong.
Hmm.
I waited for more, but when none arrived, I said, What does that mean? Do you believe us, or do you believe him?
Oh we’ve never believed all that he said, but since it’s our duty to protect the dragons, we acted out of caution.
That caution killed three of our own, Dean said. He restrained the bitterness I imagined he must feel about the loss of his crew. I supposed it was because shadow man had just lost his brother. Loss of friend and enemy might feel different, but in the end, were equal.
I heard. If what you’ve said so far is true, then I too am sorry for your loss.
We speak only truth, Dean said. We’re sworn to protect the dragons.
Then we might become allies. If you stand down, we will do the same.
We’ll stand down if you guarantee our safety.
I promise we won’t hurt you if you promise not to hurt us.
Agreed.
Very well.
Without turning, Dean called out, “Stand down!” The immediate sound of weapons being holstered spoke to the dragon forcers’ trust in their leader. They hadn’t heard a word we’d exchanged—at least, I didn’t think they had.
With his attention still directed at Dean, Rosie, and me, shadow man yelled out something in his language. Right away, the swarm of dragons overhead began to disperse and tension fled his daughter’s shoulders.
We might just survive the day.
8
The shadow leader might have appeared to trust us, but the reality was that his trust was limited. The dragons, which had swarmed overhead, did indeed disperse—but they didn’t disappear entirely. They continued to fly at the periphery of sight, high enough that the threat of them ceased to be a constant reminder that the shadow people, and not us, were the ones with the upper hand.
Our hundred dragon forcers were far more numerous than the two shadow people on the ground, but when each dragon possessed the strength to wipe out all of us, well, their two might as well have been thousands. It didn’t look like a single one of the dragon forcers forgot that as they milled nervously around the edge of the conference.
If you’ll give us a few moments, their leader said to Dean and me within the recesses of our minds, my daughter and I will join you. Together we can discuss the future of our people, and discover if there is a way to work together.
Take all the time you need, Dean said, because it was obvious what the man and his daughter wanted the time for. The leader was already moving toward where his brother lay. I imagined they would load him onto the back of one of the dragons and direct the dragon to fly his body home.
Come on, Dean said only to me. Let’s give them some space. Besides, I’m sure the forcers are anxious to understand what’s happening.
I nodded, again forgetting he couldn’t see me, and fell into step beside him. Rosie, still plastered to my thighs, was his only physical sign that I walked alongside him. This sudden ability to be able to make myself visible was messing with my mind. I was used to being invisible, to hiding in the shadows of other people’s lives. I’d never liked it, but I understood it. I’d lived in a box of my own limitations for so long that they felt oddly... comforting. Being seen was something still fresh and decidedly uncomfortable, and I found myself forgetting whether people could see me or couldn’t. I felt disoriented and just barely in my body, whatever form it chose to take.
Dean suddenly stopped walking, and I bumped into him. “What is it?” I asked.
He reached out to grab my arm. I tensed, preparing for him to miss, but he didn’t. He clutched at my bicep. “Don’t worry about all the changes you’re undergoing.” Even though he spoke aloud, he spoke only for me. “I understand how it might feel disorienting. In time, it’ll start feeling natural, and you’ll start appreciating all the abilities you possess that others don’t.”
I took in his bright green sincere eyes, and tried not to fret about that fact that he seemed to be, once more, reading my thoughts. I could tell he truly wanted to help me, and if he was invading my thoughts, it was only with that purpose in mind—I was pretty certain.
“I feel that these shadow people will come to understand us,” he continued. “They don’t trust us fully yet, that much is clear.” He flicked his gaze momentarily upward. “But I wouldn’t trust us fully if I were them either. It doesn’t mean they won’t. We need to be cautious, but I believe it’s safe for you to become visible again—if you desire it.”
A curious look crossed his face then that I didn’t understand, and it passed before I could figure it out. He said, “The forcers might prefer it if you become visible. For now.”
It was only then that my gaze reached beyond Dean and saw the stares that seemed to be trying very hard to peg me and my location. They didn’t look hostile, but some did look accusatory, and I realized some of them believed I owed them an explanation. Even though I didn’t owe any of them anything—the only ones I owed anything at all were my siblings and Rosie—it would be easier if I explained. Besides, the forcers meant well. They’d joined the Dragon Force to help the Ooba. At a time of so much upheaval, it seemed unfair to blame them for feeling betrayed that I could do something without their knowledge. Maybe. I wasn’t sure what to think anymore, really, and I suddenly just felt tired. Tired of it all. And the day had so much more of it to go before I could put an end to it and rest.
Dean resumed walking, and I followed. As usual, I did what I needed to do because no better path opened up fo
r me.
As Dean moved toward the forcers, they moved toward us. The path we’d chosen was narrow, and so the tamers and charmers crowded close together so they could hear whatever Dean had to say.
Before Dean had even stopped, Yoon asked, “What’s going on?”
“The shadow leader has agreed to talk with us.”
“Really? When she just killed one of them?”
“Hey!” Rane growled. “She didn’t kill anyone, not on purpose, anyway. And she is my sister, so watch your words.”
“You’re just a pipsqueak, just like she is, so you’d better watch your words, not the other way around.” Yoon puffed out his chest, and I was grateful several forcers stood between him and my brother.
“That’s enough of that,” Dean snapped, putting both the charmer and Rane in their place. “Rane, Anira, and Traya are Alden’s children, and Shean’s siblings, don’t you ever forget that. For Alden alone, we owe them great respect. But besides that, you know better, Yoon. No matter what rank a person holds among the force, we treat them like brothers, or sisters.”
“Sure I know that,” Yoon said, sounding very much like he didn’t know it at all. “But her actions might lead us all to our deaths.”
“Anira isn’t leading anyone to their deaths. And dammit, Yoon, you know better. You saw what happened with your two eyes, didn’t you? She didn’t condemn us, she interfered to save us, to save me. No one could have anticipated that the dragon would kill its rider. We didn’t even know they had riders, by the oasis. We’ve never managed to ride them.” Just then, it sounded like Dean was exceptionally put out that none of them had ever managed to ride one when the shadow people seemed to do so effortlessly. When he continued, he’d tucked that frustration away again. “She did what any of us would’ve done.”
“None of us can do what she did,” Yoon said, and I couldn’t tell if what laced his voice was resentment, fear, or something else.
“Then with more reason you should treat her with respect.” This time, Shula was the one to rise to my defense, and she wasn’t nearly as soft in her reprimand. “All of us deserve respect in the force,” she said, though it sounded as if she wasn’t sure whether Yoon ultimately did or not, and I suspected it was far from the first time she and Yoon had disagreed about things. And I’d never trusted him; his admiration of Pumpoo felt too genuine, no matter what Dean said.
“Well it would help if we could see her,” Yoon bit out.
“And why should she show herself when you’re so ready to condemn her?” Rane challenged.
“That’s enough,” Dean said. I was relieved that he didn’t sound particularly angry at Rane for defending me. “The shadow leader is open to conferring with us, but that will go away in a flash if we don’t show him that we’re to be trusted. If I were him, I wouldn’t trust a foreign people who seem to have so much disagreement among their ranks.”
“I wasn’t disagreeing with you—” Yoon started.
“I know, but he won’t. We only have moments before they’re ready for us, and I’m sure you have questions.”
When no one said anything, Dean said, “We can talk with them through our minds.”
“We?” Shula asked.
“We, as in Anira and me.”
Yoon and a few of the others shot accusatory glares in my direction, but the rest of them looked only curious.
“The man appears to be the leader of the shadow people, or at the very least he seems to hold some authority in their tribe. The girl is his daughter. The dead man, his brother.”
“His brother?” Yoon’s glare intensified.
“Aye, and he seems to have accepted both our apologies and condolences for the man’s unfortunate death.”
Yoon’s eyes burned, and I couldn’t understand how Dean’s trust in the man could run so deep.
“He qualifies that they don’t command the dragons, but rather it’s a relationship of mutual respect that allow the dragons to follow their wishes.”
“Fascinating,” Shula said.
“Indeed, and there’s a great deal we can learn from these people.”
“If they allow us to live after what she did—”
“Enough, Yoon,” Dean said, and the man pursed his lips shut, a sullen look dripping down his bitter features. “I’ll have no more of that. It’s the opposite of the energy we need to be holding right now. These people seem to understand energy likely better than we do. They’ll undoubtedly feel what’s going on over here. What you do and say is just as important as what Anira did.” After Dean had sufficiently drilled that point into Yoon, he swept his sharp eyes across the rest of them. It was a warning, and everyone there seemed to understand that.
“The man has told us that Pumpoo came to their people and told them that we were harming the dragons. Like us, they consider themselves protectors of the dragons. Even though he didn’t say it explicitly, I believe that the man who murdered three of our own believed he was defending the dragons.”
“That bastard!” Shula said.
“Aye, well, I’m sure we all agree that there are many choice insults that our former ‘leader’ deserves. The good news is that the shadow people didn’t believe what he said without suspicion. It is that suspicion which convinced the leader to speak with us. That and Anira’s relationship to Rosie. Seeing Anira interact with this dragonling was the ultimate factor that convinced the shadow man that what Pumpoo told them might very well be lies. For no people who intend to harm dragons would go to such lengths to protect one of the dragonkind’s rejects. And no dragonling would cling to one of us in such a way if she didn’t have a profound trust in us. So, Yoon, you see, Anira might be the one factor that allows the shadow people to consider becoming our allies.”
Yoon crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t trust anyone I can’t even see.”
His comment could apply as readily to the shadow people as it did to me, but I realized exactly whom he meant if for. So did Dean, who said to me, Don’t allow him to bully you. Resume your visibility only if you want to, not because he needles you into it.
For everyone else’s benefit, Dean said, “Anira’s gift is not to be feared. Her unique abilities are most likely linked to her ability to connect to faithum so readily and powerfully. Her ability to achieve invisibility to sight is a magical power, and the wise person would accept—and admire it—as such.”
Was it just me, or had Dean just insulted Yoon? From the sudden twinkle in Rane’s rich brown eyes, he thought he had.
“I’d like to learn more about how she does it,” a woman’s voice I recognized called from the crowd. It took me a few seconds, but I finally spotted Peachy, hidden by Brute’s massive shoulders. Her voice was friendly.
“I think it’s amazing that she can do that,” Boom said, his clear voice traveling across the distance between us with ease.
“Show us how you do it, girl,” Scar said, any of his usual gruffness completely absent, reminding me that the Alpha Team had my back, no matter what the circumstances.
It took no more than a passing thought that I was safe enough in their company, despite jerks like Yoon, to become visible. A tingle sprang to life in my chest’s center, and whisked across my limbs, traveling as fast as a dragon’s fire.
They might have suspected it was coming, but it didn’t dampen their gasps in the least when I fully materialized in front of a hundred dragon forcers.
When Boom and Crush started hooting and hollering, many more of them joined in, as if we weren’t in the middle of nowhere, barely safe from a shadow people we knew next to nothing about.
It reminded me that the dragon forcers had learned to live life to its fullest, to enjoy whatever moments life gifted them, because life was fleeting and mined with dangers. We only have the present moment, and it’s entirely up to us what we do with it.
For the first time in my entire life, I relaxed into myself with hundreds of eyes boring into me. I stood tall and confident, even if that confidence felt borrowe
d.
I caught Rane and Traya’s eyes on me, and I smiled at them. It’d been a long time since their smiles had seemed so brilliant, and I drew on their trust in a brighter future to bolster my own.
9
“Dean,” Shula said, interrupting the drawn-out moment in which every single tamer and charmer stared at me. Resisting my desire to squirm beneath their scrutiny was taxing. I wasn’t used to being seen, and it seemed as if the stares penetrated my flesh to see the wildly pounding heart beneath. When Shula spoke, I swiveled my attention to her even before Dean did, hoping the rest would follow my lead.
“What is it?” he said, his eyes fixed on his second in command.
“Look behind you.”
Every person there, including me, turned to see what the usually quiet Shula pointed out. Relief tingled across my chest, and I felt as if I could finally take a deep breath.
“What are we looking for?” a voice I didn’t recognize asked.
“Over there,” she said. “Behind that rock.”
“What rock—?” But the voice stopped in mid sentence.
Behind a rock, the shadow leader and his daughter bent over the body of their relative. But they weren’t mourning him—although the tracks along the girl’s cheeks suggested that she had. Her father’s face was stoic and intent, and his hands extended over his brother’s body.
That deep breath I’d managed to take would have to sustain me, because suddenly I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. The man was doing faithum, what he’d called magic. He had to be.
After a lifetime of being told that faithum was forbidden for its danger, as if it were a filthy, evil thing only the most depraved among the Ooba people would want to touch, these two shadow people worked with it as if it were a natural extension of themselves.
I barely blinked, I didn’t want to miss a second of what he was doing—there, out in the open, in front of all of us.
He must have felt the hundreds of gazes on him, but he didn’t acknowledge them. It was hard to see exactly what he was doing, his body wavering in and out of shadow, but I managed to see enough—enough to fill my body with hope. To flutter with excitement at all the potential I hadn’t even grasped yet.