Tina smiled. “Amazing that a woman so devoted to finding love could raise a woman so determined to avoid it.”
Their waitress arrived with their order, and after setting down two steaming platters of enchiladas, rice and beans, left them again.
“I just don’t know what to do,” Kathy whispered.
Tina leaned across the table and patted her hand. “Do me a favor. For once in your life, Kath…follow your heart, not your head.”
As her friend started eating, Kathy thought about what she’d said. She was tempted, so tempted. But she knew her heart would lead her to the one place she’d always been afraid of going. Love and marriage.
And she wasn’t at all sure she was strong enough to take the risk.
Brian stepped into the empty hallway again, scanning the brightly lit corridor for signs that Kathy had come home. But everything was quiet. Too damned quiet, he thought for the thousandth time that night.
Maegan, perched on his hip, seemed to pick up on his mood and sniffled. A sure sign that a rip-roaring cryfest was on its way.
Automatically he jiggled her slightly, acknowledging that over the past two weeks, he’d gotten pretty good at this whole baby thing. Not to mention the fact that he’d fallen completely in love with his daughter. He smiled as he looked at her pouty face. Was it just him? Or was she really as gorgeous as he thought?
As if in answer, Maegan’s mouth scrunched up and a pitiful cry worked its way loose.
“It’s okay, sweetie,” he whispered. “Nothing to worry about. Kathy’ll be home soon.”
She rubbed both hands across her eyes and laid her head down on his shoulder.
“Tired, aren’t you?” he asked, and walked back into his apartment and closed the door. “Well, I think I can take care of your problem, anyway.”
Together they went to the kitchen where Brian pulled a bottle of milk out of the fridge. Briefly he stared at the shelves that used to hold only a couple of bottles of beer and the fixings for sandwiches. Now there was a half dozen jars of baby food, enough milk to start his own dairy and lots of healthy things, like vegetables. And fruit.
“A lot of changes in two short weeks,” he muttered, realizing that that statement covered a whole lot more territory than just his refrigerator. He was a father now. And a man deeply in lust. But even as the word lust entered his mind, he altered it. He wasn’t really sure what he was feeling, but he knew damn well it was more than just simple hormone hockey.
Oh, he wanted Kathy, no doubt about it. But he also enjoyed listening to her talk. He liked watching her hold the baby. It gave him a good feeling to come home at the end of a long, hard day dealing with knot-headed recruits and see her smile.
“She got past my perimeter,” he muttered thickly. “Outflanked me, outmaneuvered me and won the field.” He’d wanted an affair, like every other relationship he’d ever had. But what he’d gotten was more. So much more that he wasn’t sure he was really ready to define it. Even to himself.
Maegan slapped his jaw with one little fist, as if reminding him to get the darn milk warmed up.
“Right,” he said, nodding. “Baby’s problems first, then Daddy’s.” He stuck the bottle inside the small appliance and said, “God bless microwaves.”
As the milk heated, he sat Maegan on the counter and kept one hand on her belly to keep her in place. Her little heels battered against the cabinets below, letting him know her patience was nearly at an end.
“It’s not just your bottle you’re wanting, is it?” he asked. “You miss Kathy, too, don’t you?” Brian smoothed one hand across her downy hair and along her back in a soft caress.
The baby hiccuped.
“She’s become your mommy, hasn’t she?” He should have known that Kathy would become as important to the baby as she had to him. Of course Maegan missed her. Kathy was the true constant in her life. He came and went, usually seeing her only first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Except for the weekends, which they’d been spending with Kathy, anyway.
“We’re in deep, aren’t we, Mae?” he asked in a quiet, husky voice.
The baby responded with another sniffle, just as the microwave beeper announced it had finished working. He grabbed the bottle and lifting Maegan, headed for the living room. Sitting down on the couch, he held his little girl while she drank her evening snack and let his mind wander to Kathy again. Lately, its favorite pastime.
“She’s actually on a date,” he said, and heard the tightness in his voice. “She’s out spending time with that other guy despite what happened between us this morning.”
Maegan ignored him, concentrating instead on holding her bottle and sucking down the milk as fast as she could.
“I thought we made a…connection, Maegan. I thought what we shared hit her as hard as it hit me.” He shook his head and stared at the wall opposite him. “How in the hell—excuse me, heck—could she go on a date after that?”
Maegan abruptly threw her bottle and let out a fitful cry.
“Way to go, Sarge,” he muttered, standing up to walk his daughter. “Upset the kid because you can’t get Kathy out of your mind.”
It didn’t improve his mood any to realize he was feeling like a jealous boyfriend. Jealous. Him? Damn right, he thought. He wanted a look at the guy Kathy was dating. Actually, to be accurate, he wanted one clean punch at the guy.
A knock on the door splintered that pleasant image.
Carrying Maegan, he walked across the room, opened the door and stared blankly at the woman he’d just been thinking about.
Kathy’d heard Maegan crying as she walked down the hall to her apartment. And in seconds she’d found herself standing in front of the door instead of her own. She told herself that she was only doing this for Maegan’s sake. That she wanted to help ease the baby. But even she wasn’t believing that. She knew darn well that the reality of the situation was she wanted…no, needed to see Brian.
Everything Tina had said to her was still rocketing around inside her brain. She had to find out if Brian had been as affected by their lovemaking as she had. She had to know if he felt for her what she was feeling for him.
But now that she was here, all she could do was look at him. Barefoot, he wore faded blue jeans that hugged his long legs. A red T-shirt, stamped USMC, strained across his broad chest, and a faint shadow of whisker stubble stained his cheeks. His blue eyes seemed to simmer with all kinds of dangerously wicked thoughts, and her stomach pitched just imagining them.
“Hi,” she said, wishing she could think of something more, yet immensely grateful that her voice had worked at all.
“Hi, back,” Brian said, a slight frown on his face. “You’re home early.”
“Yeah.” She stepped into the apartment as he moved aside, silently inviting her in. Just brushing against him as she walked was enough to make her palms damp and her insides quiver. He closed the door behind her as she took Maegan from him. Dropping her purse on the nearest chair, Kathy soothed the baby with whispered words and gentle strokes up and down her back.
In seconds the little girl was quiet again. It was as if all she’d needed was to hear the sound of Kathy’s voice. That knowledge wrapped itself around her heart and warmed her right down to her soul. This tiny child had made Kathy a part of her life. An important part.
Brian retrieved the bottle from the carpet and handed it over as Kathy took the baby to her crib. He’d noticed how easily Maegan had settled down as soon as the woman she obviously considered her mother had shown up. The two females shared some sort of bond that he apparently wasn’t a part of. A twinge of regret settled in the pit of his stomach as he admitted that it bothered him to realize how much that bothered him.
When Kathy came out of the bedroom and pulled the door closed before looking at him, he asked, “Is she sleeping?”
“Out like a light.”
“Good,” he said, letting his gaze drift up and down the length of her. She wore a deep-green blouse with a low, scoop
ed neck, a black skirt and black nylons that he wanted to strip off her with his teeth. Hardly a sexpot kind of outfit, he told himself, then wondered why he was suddenly so hungry for her that he felt as though his body would burst right through the fabric of his jeans.
No, he told himself. What they needed to do was talk. He wanted to know who in the hell she was dating. And he wanted to know why she was dating one guy and making love with him. He wanted to tell her how nuts it made him to think of her kissing, holding someone else.
“I, uh,” she said, under his steady regard, “maybe I should go.”
A quick burst of panic lit up his insides like mortar fire on a still, cold night. The thought of her leaving him at that moment made him want to grab her and never let her go.
The hell with talking.
“No, don’t,” he said quickly, desperately. “Don’t leave.”
“Brian…” She shook her head helplessly, and he read the hunger in her eyes easily, since he was feeling the same damned thing.
He crossed to her in a few long strides. Grabbing her, he pulled her close and wrapped both arms around her, holding her tightly enough to imprint the form of her body on his own. And still, it wasn’t close enough. He wanted to be a part of her again. To feel himself held deeply within her. To watch her eyes glaze over with passion and to know that he could give her that. That they shared what seemed like pure magic to him.
All day, memories had taunted him, tortured him. He’d barely gotten his work done and still didn’t remember the drive home. All he could think of was Kathy. All he wanted was her. And more of that magic.
Her hands splayed against his back, he felt her warmth enter him and ease the dark loneliness he’d been feeling all evening. It felt so right to be here with her. It was right, he thought. In so many ways.
“I’ve missed you,” he murmured and kissed the top of her head.
“Me, too,” she said, her voice muffled against his chest.
“I need you,” he said.
“Me, too,” Kathy whispered, tilting her head back to look up at him.
He bent lower, brushed his lips across hers, then tugged at her bottom lip with the edges of his teeth. “I want you,” he said hoarsely. “Now.”
“Oh, me, too,” Kathy said with a nod. Then as he eased them both over to his couch, she added, “This is crazy, you know.”
“Crazy,” he agreed. “And wonderful.”
“Oh, yeah,” she said as he pulled her down onto the cushions. “That, too.”
Ten
Kathy kept her arms looped around his neck as he lowered her to the couch. One corner of her mind chuckled at the fact that they’d yet to find themselves in an actual bed together. Although, Brian’s couch was substantially wider and longer than her own, and briefly she wondered if he’d coaxed many other women down onto its lush cushions. But a moment later all thoughts but one died as his hands skimmed up her legs, inching her skirt hem higher up her thighs before retreating along her calves and down to her ankles.
She gazed up at him, backlit by the soft, dim light of a lamp on the table at the far end of the sofa. Moonlight, too, poured in through the slatted blinds and lay in a pattern of straight lines across the floor. From somewhere in the apartment she heard a clock ticking, and the slow, steady beat kept time with the pounding of her heart.
The gentle scrape of Brian’s palms against her nylon-clad legs felt sinfully good and effectively shut down her mind. She sighed heavily and let her eyes slide shut so that she could concentrate more completely on just what he was doing to her.
She felt him slip her shoes off and stroke her arches with the pads of his thumbs. Goose bumps raced along her flesh, and she shivered, rubbing her back against the overstuffed cushions beneath her.
“Man,” he whispered, his fingers once again sliding up the length of her legs. “I love these black nylons.”
First thing tomorrow, she told herself, she would order a case of the darned things.
He placed a kiss on the inside of her knee, and Kathy sucked in a gulp of air through gritted teeth. Watery. Her entire body felt like liquid, pooling beneath his hands. He worked his mouth along the inside of her thigh, moving higher, higher. She lifted her hips slightly and let her legs fall apart, inviting him closer.
His hands slid up her legs and stopped when he encountered smooth flesh at the tops of her stockings. “Help me, I’m a dying man,” he murmured. “Not panty hose, stockings.”
She opened her eyes and looked down to find him admiring the lacy edge of her black hose. “Stockings are better than panty hose?” she asked, and felt a dazed smile curve her mouth.
Brian slipped one finger beneath the top of one thigh-high nylon and smoothed it across her flesh, sending a ripple of anticipation ebbing through her bloodstream. “Oh, yeah,” he told her, that lazy, crooked grin on his face. “Stockings are much better. The kind with garters, best of all.”
“I’ll remember that,” she said, and adjusted her mental shopping list accordingly. Instantly an image rose up in her mind. Her, wearing a black garter belt, stockings and little else, while Brian Haley stood behind her, admiring every inch of her with his amazing hands.
Dizzy with the imagery, she hardly noticed when Brian worked the buttons of her blouse free and undid the zipper on her skirt. He slipped her clothes from her body effortlessly, leaving her lying on the couch wearing nothing but her stockings and panties.
Then the dream image faded as she watched him hungrily. Her body felt poised like a long distance runner ready to start the most important race of her career. Brian reached up and stroked her center through the filmy, sheer fabric of her black panties.
Kathy’s body jerked in reaction, then rejoiced again as he repeated the caress. Sensation, hot and fluid, whirled inside her, and she fought to keep her eyes open and fixed on him. She didn’t want to miss a moment of this night. She wanted it imprinted on her memory for all time. His thumb moved over her most-sensitive piece of flesh, and she bit back a soft moan that was half distress and half pleading.
Now she knew what it was that awaited her at the end of passion’s long road. Now she looked forward eagerly to that mind-numbing explosion of sensation. She wanted to feel him inside her again. She wanted to explore his mouth with her own. She wanted to taste his breath and relearn the secrets of his body. And she wanted it all, now. It felt like years since she’d last held him inside her depths. Reaching for him, she clutched at his shoulders and tried to pull him toward her for a kiss.
But he shook his head and loosened her hold on him. Disappointment shuddered through her as her hands opened and closed on the cushions beneath her. What was he up to? Why didn’t he want to kiss her and join their bodies as badly as she did?
“There’s no rush tonight, Kathy,” he whispered, stroking one finger across her abdomen, just above the top of her panties.
She swallowed hard. He wanted it, too. He just wanted to go slowly. She didn’t know whether to be pleased or frustrated.
“Tonight,” Brian went on, meeting her gaze, “I’m going to give you the experience you should have had your first time.”
Kathy wished he would stop fretting over that. She’d enjoyed every minute of their time together the night before, and if she could only find her voice, she’d tell him so.
He hooked his fingers beneath the narrow band of elastic at the top of her panties and as she watched him, still unaccountably mute, he slowly pulled them down and off her legs. He tossed the scrap of black lace aside then and reached for her. His hands closed over her naked hips and pulled her along the couch, closer to him, as he lifted her bottom off the cushions.
“Brian?” His name came out in a hoarse croak of sound, and Kathy cleared her throat hoping to do better.
“Relax, honey,” he whispered, as he lifted her hips easily in his two big hands.
Relax? With his fingers kneading the soft flesh of her behind? With her thighs parted and her legs dangling helplessly a foot above
the couch? Oh, she didn’t think relaxing was a reasonable hope at the moment.
“Brian,” she said, and this time heard her voice sound clear and strong. She might have been a virgin until the night before, but she wasn’t stupid. She knew exactly what he was about to do and wasn’t at all sure she was ready for that just yet. The embarrassment level alone was mind-boggling. She reached for him, but he only smiled as he bent his head to her center.
The instant his mouth touched her body, Kathy forgot everything she had been determined to say. Things like, “What are you doing?” or “Put me down.” A delicious spiral of heat uncoiled in the pit of her stomach and slowly spread to every inch of her body. Like an incoming tide, she felt it rise and rise as Brian’s mouth took her to places she’d never dreamed existed.
Much to her surprise, she found that she was more than ready for this latest lesson in making love.
Keeping her gaze fixed on him, she forced herself to watch as he pleasured her. He slid his tongue along her almost-too-sensitive flesh again and again and each time, Kathy thought she would lose her mind to the overwhelming sensations rocketing around inside her.
His hands, his mouth, his hot breath against her flesh, all these things combined to throw what was left of Kathy’s nice, safe world into turmoil. Everything she’d said to Tina only hours before flashed across her mind, and she called herself a fool. She didn’t think she was in love with this man. She knew it. Deep in her heart, she’d always known it. From the moment she’d seen him, a part of her must have recognized that this was the man who could breach her defenses. This was the man she wouldn’t be able to hide from.
She couldn’t even remember what her life had been like before Brian Haley. Didn’t want to remember the lonely nights, the empty dreams. She wanted this night, this moment to go on forever.
But moments pass one into the other, and soon she felt the cataclysmic end racing toward her. Her breath came in short, harsh gasps. Every square inch of her body felt gloriously alive. Something inside her tightened, like an overwound spring. Her hands fisted on the couch cushions, hanging on as tightly as though she were dangling on the edge of a precipice.
The Daddy Salute Page 10