Jack’s shoulders sunk. He didn’t care that there was a crisis. Couldn’t his dad ignore it?
“Hey, maybe your mom will throw around with you.”
His mom gave Jack an apologetic look. “Unfortunately, I can’t right now honey.” It was the first no she’d given Jack in months. “I’ve got to finish the dishes and bake cookies for your school’s bake sale tomorrow. Your dad will play with you some more tomorrow, won’t you, Paul?”
His dad walked over to Jack and handed him his glove. “Tomorrow it is then, buddy.”
Standing in the street with the mitts, the ball, and his dad’s empty promise, Jack felt tears start to well up in his eyes. He was about to lose it when he saw Charli walk out onto her front porch with an ice cream cone.
“Hey,” he said, jogging over to her.
Charli smiled as she smoothed out her dress and took a seat on one of the porch steps. “Hi Jack.”
“Do you want to play catch with me and help me break in my new glove?” he asked.
“I thought you said you wanted to break it in with your dad first.”
Jack looked down at his feet. “Yeah, well . . . he had to go into work.”
“Oh.” Charli’s tone softened.
He knew she wouldn’t say, “I’m sorry,” because he had told her how much he hated hearing those words. They were more common than “I love you” in his dad’s vocabulary.
“Let me just go check with my parents, okay?” She disappeared into the house and returned a minute later. “I can go. I just have to be in before dark.”
Jack’s face brightened. “All right. Race you out to my mailbox.” He took off, Charli following behind him. And as the warm breeze whizzed past them, Jack almost forgot that his dad had disappointed him. Again.
—
WHEN IT CAME time for Charli to start pursuing love interests outside the science lab—boys—Jack didn’t even make her list of prospects. Her best girlfriend, Patti Buchannan, didn’t get it.
“Come on,” Patti said to her when they were maneuvering through the crowded hallways of West Hills High their third week of high school. “Don’t you ever think about what it would be like to date Jack?”
“No,” Charli laughed. “Jack and I are just friends.”
“You’re not even curious what it would be like to kiss him?” Patti pressed.
Charli felt her face flush. Actually, she had thought about that once, just last night when she and Jack were doing homework together in his bedroom. Their elbows had knocked as Jack leaned over her to grab a book, and an image flashed into her head—their lips touching, Jack’s hand resting on the back of her neck. But Charli had dismissed the thought right away, thinking that it was weird.
“What girl at this high school hasn’t pictured herself kissing Jack,” she said to Patti. “It doesn’t mean I’d ever want to date him.” Besides, she thought, even if she was interested in Jack, it’s not like he would ever like her in that way.
She was not Jack’s type. In junior high, Jack dated girls who were older (Charli was his same age), did cheerleading (as if . . .), and couldn’t seem to care less about their school work (Charli couldn’t get enough of hers). And it appeared Jack’s taste hadn’t changed much now that they were in high school. Charli had seen him flirting with the junior captain of the cheer team by her locker just two days earlier after school got out.
“You’re crazy,” Patti said. “If I had a friend who looked like Jack, I’d constantly be throwing myself at him.”
“That’s probably why he’s not friends with you.”
Patti grinned, revealing her hot pink braces, which perfectly matched the pink streaks in her hair. “But still, I don’t know how you resist.”
They rounded the corner and spotted Jack holding court with a group of three cheerleaders outside the Spanish lab. The girls were all dressed in their baby blue and white cheerleading outfits for the football game that night and were staring at Jack with googly-eyes.
“He is soooo hot,” Patti said, nudging her. “Look at him.”
He did look good, Charli had to admit. He was swoon-worthy by anyone’s standards with brown hair, green eyes, and perfectly straight, white teeth. And his confidence made him even better looking. Jack could charm anyone—even Mrs. Numan, their algebra teacher, who assigned loads of homework and was in a constant bad mood because she was going through a nasty divorce. But Jack was Charli’s friend. Had been her friend since they were kids. It would be weird to think of him as something more.
“I just don’t see Jack like that,” she said.
“Well, some day you’re going to take off your blinders and see him like the rest of us do. I’m predicting it now: you and Jack will show up together as a couple at our ten-year high school reunion.”
Charli smiled. “If you were my palm reader,” she said, “I’d ask for my money back.”
—
ON THE EVENING of Jack’s first high school baseball game, his hands were shaking as he threw some warm-up pitches to his catcher from the bullpen mound near the foul line in the outfield. There was a lot of pressure on him to perform well tonight. The bleachers were packed with students and parents who had heard the hype about Jack’s talent as a baseball player from his junior high days, pre-season games, and the newspaper.
The week before, an article had been published about him titled, “Jack Logan: Jack-of-All-Trades.” His coaches and friends had been referring to him as that for years because he could pitch, hit, and field so well.
He tossed the ball a few times into his broken-in mitt and then threw a fastball.
“All right, Jack!” he heard a few people from the stands call out. None of the voices was his dad’s.
Jack looked up into the bleachers one last time for his old man, hoping to spot him in the black collared shirt and tan blazer he’d left the house in that morning. Maybe he’d sat down at the last minute in the empty seat next to Charli and his mom, who both religiously came to all of his games. His dad had promised he wouldn’t miss his first game. “Not when my boy’s the star,” he’d said as Jack was eating a bowl of cereal before school at the kitchen table. But there was no sign of him.
Disappointed, Jack pulled his baseball cap down over his eyes. He didn’t understand it. How could his dad prioritize his career above his only son? He got that his job was important, but was it so important that he couldn’t step out of the office for a couple of hours to be here?
The ump called out to both teams that the game was about to start. Jack hailed one more hard pitch into his catcher’s glove and then rolled his shoulders back and started to jog in toward the dugout.
“Psst, Jack.” Charli was suddenly standing near the chain link fence flagging him toward her.
“What is it?” he asked.
“Just come here, real quick.”
Jack looked over his shoulder and saw that the outfielders were still jogging in so he had a second. He went to her.
“Here.” Charli slipped him a folded up piece of paper.
Good luck, it read.
“It’s from your dad,” she said.
“Nice try. That’s your handwriting.”
“Okay, I know, but I’m sure he’s thinking that. I’ve seen you checking the stands for him all throughout your warm-up. I don’t want you to worry. You’re still going to play great without him.”
Jack gave her a half-hearted smile. “I just don’t understand why he’s not here. He promised.”
“I know. I’m sure he wishes he was here.”
“Yeah, right. If he wished it, he’d find a way.”
“Something big must have come up.”
Jack shook his head and checked the stands one more time for him. “Remind me when I’m older to never choose my career over someone I love.”
“Will do.” She reached out and wrapped her pinky around his, promising. “But come on, get your head in the game. Go out there and show everyone how awesome you are. Your dad might not be here
, but a ton of people are, including your number one fan.” Charli flashed him a brilliant smile, and Jack stuck her note into the back pocket of his pants.
“Okay,” he sighed. He ruffled up her shoulder-length brown hair. “You’re pretty great, you know that?”
Why couldn’t he find a girlfriend who understood him as well as Charli? She was one-of-a-kind. And was it just him or did she look kind of cute in those jean shorts and the blue and white top she had on. Jack shook his head, snapping out of it. Why was he even thinking about that? If Charli knew that that thought had just crossed his mind, she would think he was crazy!
“Go on!” she said, shooing him. “Go get ’em!”
Jack smiled and hurried to the dugout for a team huddle and then to the pitcher’s mound to pitch the first shutout of his high school baseball career. The first of twenty shutouts in his high school career that his dad would miss.
four
THEN
“WOULD YOU RATHER . . . eat a pig you’d already dissected or . . . not be able to eat anything for a week?” Jack looked over at Charli in the passenger seat of his 1971 Chevy pickup as he was driving.
Charli grimaced. “I’d probably eat the pig,” she admitted, laughing. “As disgusting as that would be! Okay, my turn. Let me think.” She looked out the window, and Jack followed her gaze to the flat, green landscape, speckled with evergreen trees.
He wondered if this game, which they’d played since they were kids, was distracting her, or if she, too, was having a hard time not thinking about the fact that they were headed to Oregon State University—their new home for the next four years.
“Okay, I’ve got one,” Charli said, turning toward him. “Would you rather . . . keep driving until we get to campus and start school on Monday or . . . pull over right now and stay in this car forever, suspended in time?”
Jack met her eyes, relieved. “You’re nervous, too?”
“Of course I am! My palms are sweating!”
Jack laughed and showed her his palms were clammy also.
Charli sunk back into the worn leather seat. “At least you have the baseball team to welcome you when you get there. That’s a group of built-in friends.” Jack was on a full-ride baseball scholarship. It was why he’d settled on Oregon State.
“Yeah, well, you’re in the Honors College and the Honors dorm,” Jack reminded her. “You’ll have a smart-people community.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Charli cracked open the window, and some fresh air blew in. “Still, it’s so nerve-racking. I can’t believe we’re starting college.”
“I know.”
They drove for a few more minutes in comfortable silence, and then Charli said, “Does this mean your answer to my ‘would you rather’ is to keeping driving until we get to campus?”
“As tempting as the alternative is, I think we’d regret it if we didn’t go.”
“I guess you’re right.”
Jack tried to put on a brave face. “Just think—at least we have each other. Imagine how much scarier this would be if we’d decided on different schools.”
“Yeah,” Charli nodded vehemently. “Can you imagine the two of us in a long-distance friendship?”
Jack cracked a smile. “You’d be calling me every day.”
“You’d probably call me so often I’d have to turn my phone off.”
“You’re right,” Jack grinned. “Let’s promise each other that we’ll never live more than a few blocks apart.”
Charli stuck out her hand to shake on it. “That’s a promise I’d like nothing more than to keep.”
—
“I CAN’T BELIEVE I was nervous to start college.” Charli looked up at Nick Fisher, her lanky, buzz-headed boyfriend whom she’d met her first week of school in her Biology 111 class. It was the fourth week of classes, and they were at a barn party that Jack had invited her to at one of his baseball buddy’s parents’ houses out in the country. Charli was slow dancing with Nick to Hunter Hayes’ “Wanted” underneath the twinkling white lights that were strung up in the rafters.
“Yeah, I can’t believe I was nervous either,” Nick said. “Everything’s so great—classes, our friends in the Honors dorm. You.”
Charli smiled and rested her head on Nick’s chest. It was weird having Nick as her new confidant, but that’s what he’d become. She’d never had a serious boyfriend before, but it felt right to tell him everything she used to share with Jack. That came with dating someone, didn’t it? She was still trying to figure all of it out.
She really liked Nick. He shared her love of science and research, which Jack supported but didn’t quite understand, and he was the first guy who’d ever made her feel desirable. Jack had to get that, right?
Charli still valued her friendship with Jack, but she was growing to enjoy Nick’s company more and more. And she really liked the feeling of being wrapped in his arms in a barn on this crisp November night. She was enjoying it so much that she was a little annoyed when she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to see that it was Jack.
“Can I steal you for a bit?” he asked.
“Now?” Charli said. “Can’t I find you in a little while?” Jack used to feed her this line all the time in high school when he was chatting up a cute girl at his locker and wanted just a little more time with her before they carpooled home.
“I’ve barely talked to you all night,” Jack said. He did have a point. Charli needed to spend some quality time with him. It had been a few weeks since they’d really caught up, and Jack had invited her to the party.
She turned to Nick. “Do you mind?” she asked, pulling lightly on the bottom of his flannel plaid shirt, thinking to herself that she really liked the way he could pull off cowboy boots and skinny jeans, and that maybe, she might even go to second base with him after they left the party.
“Not at all,” Nick said. “Just hurry back.”
Charli had never kissed a boy in front of Jack before, but for some reason she did then, planting one right on Nick’s lips.
That kiss was the first thing Jack brought up with her when they were sitting in the rickety hayloft looking down on the party a few minutes later.
“What was that all about?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean the kiss. The way you’ve been with Nick all night. And the past month. Is he a good guy? How serious is it?”
“What’s with the interrogation?”
“I’m just wondering. I want to be sure that he’s nice, you know. That’s what friends do. Check in on each other.”
“Well, he is a good guy,” she said. “So, you don’t need to worry about that. And I like him. We’re definitely dating.”
Jack nodded and took a long pull of his Budweiser.
“How are things with you and Mandy?” Charli asked. Jack had started seeing a sophomore cheerleader (big surprise) the first week of school.
“Fine,” he said. Then, after another minute he added, “She reminds me a lot of Becky.”
Becky Holland was the blond bombshell Jack went out with their senior year of high school from the dance team.
“Oh, so she’s as smart as she is pretty?” Charli teased.
A smile tugged at Jack’s cheeks. “You could say that.” He went on to tell Charli a story about how there was a Van Gogh exhibit at the Portland Art Museum that they’d gone to for an introductory art class, and she had asked him on the way there if Van Gogh himself was going to be around to answer questions.
“You’re kidding?” Charli deadpanned.
“Nope.” He grinned.
“You may have reached a new low Jack.”
“I know. What was she thinking?”
“Apparently not a whole lot.”
His smile widened. “I do have to give her some credit though. She’s really thoughtful. Like the other day she baked me a plate of chocolate chip cookies, and she even sat through the whole Niners football game on TV with me.”
Charli rest
ed her hand on his shoulder. “That’s great, Jack. I’m really happy for you.”
Jack’s face turned serious. He stopped looking at Charli and dropped his gaze down on the party below them.
“What’s wrong?” Charli asked.
Silence.
“Jack?”
Nothing again. Charli tried to read his mind, but she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Jack was not usually a mystery to her. Finally, he drew in a deep breath.
“Sometimes I really like Mandy, but then other times I think . . . ” his voice trailed off, and he shook his head. “Never mind; it’s probably stupid.”
“No, you think what?” Charli encouraged him.
Jack took another long swig of his beer, finishing it off, and then set it down on one of the wooden planks.
“I think maybe I’d like to be with someone different. Someone not like anyone I’ve ever dated in the past.”
“Wow, Jack. You could have fooled me.”
“Yeah.” He repositioned himself so that he was looking right into her eyes. “I want someone I can really talk to, you know?”
Charli didn’t recognize the expression on his face, and she’d seen quite a few—excitement when he won the state baseball championship their sophomore year, nervousness before they took the SAT’s, frustration when his dad missed his baseball games for work. She couldn’t name what this one was exactly, but if she were to guess she’d say it was longing. Or desire.
“Someone who’s known me for a while,” he continued. “Who gets me.”
Charli’s heart fluttered. Jack hadn’t said her name, but he might as well have.
Silence followed his confession and Charli didn’t know what to say to break it. After all these years could Jack really be admitting that he wanted to be more than just friends?
Just then a couple stumbled up the ladder and into the loft, breaking the intimate spell between them. All of a sudden the ease of their relationship gave way to an awkwardness that neither of them seemed to know what to do with. They both stood up without a word and returned to the party.
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