“Think of all the couples you know who have done long distance, Jack,” she said, deciding to point out the flaws to their alternative. “Have any of them been successful at it?” Before he could even respond she brought up the example that first came to her mind. “Case in point, Patti and Justin.” Patti, Charli’s best friend from West Hills High spent all of high school dating a guy Justin, who she was head over heels for. Justin was equally in love with Patti, as was evidenced by the look in his eyes whenever he saw her, and the fact that he wanted to spend all his time with her. Despite that, they made it just six months at different colleges before calling it quits, with no hope of getting back together. Things got ugly between them when Justin saw pictures on Facebook of Patti with other guys at parties. She kept insisting she did nothing wrong, but Justin never believed her. “They don’t even speak anymore, Jack. Do you want to risk that?”
“They were immature, Charli. Just out of high school. And I, for one, have a lot more confidence in what we have than in what Patti and Justin ever did.”
“Age doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she said, thinking of another long-distance horror story. “The same thing happened to my cousin, Irene, who’s twenty-eight, remember?” Her boyfriend, Steven, got transferred from his job in Portland to Austin, Texas, two years ago. Irene was sure that Steven was The One and that they were going to get married before he left, but at Christmas last year, after a few too many hard ciders, Irene confessed to Charli (who ended up telling Jack) that she’d actually cheated on Steven because she was so lonely. They were now both dating other people. “I don’t want to end up like that, Jack. I don’t want some mistake or the wear and tear of being apart to eat away at what we have, leaving nothing for us to hang on to. I think it’s better to freeze what we have and then revisit it down the road.”
Jack just rolled his eyes.
“Please, Jack,” Charli said as she reached across the table and took his hand. “When have you ever heard someone say, ‘We have the most wonderful long-distance relationship?’”
“Ryan and Tracy are making it work,” Jack pointed out, bringing up his high school buddy and girlfriend who were still together. Charli had thought of them too as a positive example a while ago, but then she realized they were hardly in a long-distance relationship.
“They see each other every other weekend,” she reminded him. Tracy was at USF in San Francisco, and Ryan went to school at Santa Clara University which was only about an hour away. “We’d be seeing each other maybe once or twice a year.”
“We could see each other more than that,” Jack said.
“Do you know how expensive plane tickets are from California to Charleston? They’re like five hundred dollars. I’m not going to be making much money, Jack. And you won’t be making much either to start out.” Jack’s contract wasn’t for much. Just enough to live on.
“I’m sure I could borrow money from my dad.”
“And be indebted to him in some way? Like you’d really want that?”
“Hey, I’m trying here.”
“So am I! That’s why I came up with this idea. This pact will allow us to each go out and fully embrace our new lives in our new cities. And then, if both of us still feel like being together is what we want after we’ve accomplished our dreams, we’ll have a date to come back to each other on, with only good memories of our relationship to return to.”
Jack shook his head, letting Charli know that she still hadn’t sold him on her plan. She tried a different angle.
“We both have so much growing up to do as individuals, Jack. Do you feel that at all? I want to be with you later on—we have a forever kind of love—we’ve always said that. But I also want to become the best version of myself, which means going to MUSC and really being present while I’m there. If I don’t, I’ll lose you to regret. And if we do long distance I’m really concerned about losing you to anger and frustration.”
She reached over for her water and took a sip as she searched Jack’s face to see if her words had resonated, but he gave no indication. He started searching the room as if on the lookout for their waiter, to order a drink, or for Gianna, who had popped over earlier to say hi. Maybe he wanted her to weigh in on this. There was no doubt she would side with Jack and tell Charli her plan was nuts. She was always commenting what a cute couple she thought they were. And recently, she’d shared how envious she was that they’d found each other so early in life. She was thirty-two and hadn’t met anyone even close to The One—which was shocking to Charli, given what a catch she thought Gianna was.
“Jack,” she said, desperate to keep him checked into the conversation. “You have to see some of the benefits of what I’m talking about doing.”
He didn’t answer her.
“Jack?”
“Okay, fine!” he said, letting his hands fall down to his sides. “I get the benefits! I do. But Charli, what you’re asking sounds impossible to me. You’re not just my girlfriend. You’re my best friend. You’re my cheerleader. You’re my Law and Order watching buddy. You’re the keeper of my secrets. You’re my late-night pillow-chat companion. You’re the person who always makes me laugh. You’re my backseat driver. You’re my beer pong partner. You’re the only person I never get sick of. You’re my favorite buddy to spend an afternoon on the couch doing nothing with. You’re my rock when I’m struggling with my relationship with my dad. You’re the first person I want to see when I wake up. And you’re the last person I want to talk to before I drift off. You. Are. My. World. Do you realize how much you’re asking of me, to give you up?”
“I’ll take you if she won’t,” whispered a young brunette gal at the table nearby, who had obviously heard Jack’s speech and was staring at him, looking love-struck.
Despite the tension, Charli chuckled as she took her napkin out of her lap and blotted her eyes, which had teared up listening to Jack. “I’m not your whole world though, Jack. I’m just half of it, remember? That’s why we’re in this predicament.”
Jack folded his arms over his chest. Maybe because he saw her point. Maybe because he still thought she was crazy.
“I know that this is going to be hard.” She realized that she must look so calm and collected to Jack as she laid out this proposal for their future, which had him spinning. But what he hadn’t seen were all the sleepless nights she’d spent wrestling with the idea, just like he was doing now. “It’ll be insanely hard. You mean just as much to me as I do to you. But it’s the only option I see that will give us a chance of a happily ever after down the road. And God,” she stressed, pounding her fist down on the table and making their silverware jump, “I want a happily ever after with you more than anything, Jack.”
He rested his head in his hands and Charli softened her tone. “You know that saying, ‘if you love someone, let her go?’” She’d seen a rustic sign with that quote from the Lebanese American writer, Kahlil Gibran, in the window of a used bookstore in Corvallis right before she came up with the pact. Although it hadn’t immediately triggered the idea, looking back, she figured that it was what had planted the seed. “I think you and I are approaching a point in our lives when we need to do that for each other. Let each other go and trust that we’ll both come back to one another later on.”
Resting her hand on his back, she whispered over the chit-chat at the tables around them and the crackle of the fire behind the glass screen. “If I thought there was a better option—one where we didn’t have to split up at all and could still be happy and accomplish everything we both want—then I wouldn’t be suggesting this. I just see it as the option that makes the most logical sense.” Following logic had never steered Charli wrong—not in the lab or outside of it—and she didn’t see the point of switching gears and abandoning it at this critical juncture.
Jack kept his head in his hands, and Charli started to run her hand back and forth over the folds of his sweater, giving him time to think. And hopefully to come around like she had to the idea aft
er some reflection.
She stared out the icy window and watched as a group of thirty-something women sipping from red Starbucks cups and pushing strollers with swaddled babies, walked by. After them came a couple with dreadlocks, holding hands, giving the illusion that their relationship was perfect. And then an older couple emerged, both with canes in their hands and hair as white as . . . snow.
“Jack,” she said, tapping him urgently. “Look outside.”
In the light from the lamppost, Charli saw the first few flakes of the year glisten and sail onto the dark pavement. She wasn’t the only one to notice the flurries. From the other tables she heard “ooo’s” and “ahs” and lots of, “It’s snowing!”
She tapped Jack again, and this time he poked his head up and looked out. The flurries were swirling in the wind, zig-zagging and looping in circles. Charli stared at them with childlike delight.
“I’m afraid,” Jack admitted, keeping his eyes out the window. “That’s why I’m so opposed to this. I don’t want to lose you, Charli.”
“You won’t lose me,” she assured him. She set her chin on his shoulder and watched as the sidewalk slowly started to turn white. The snow was sticking. “Think of it like a boomerang,” she said. “We’ll throw our relationship out, and it will come back to us. What we have is strong enough.”
Jack reached for her hand and slipped his calloused fingers through hers. “How sure of that are you?”
“As sure as I can be about something that hasn’t happened yet.”
Jack seemed to consider this for a moment. “You really want to do this?”
No, she really didn’t want to do this. What she wanted was for her and Jack to both be able to live out their dreams in the same state. But if that wasn’t an option . . . “I really want the promise of a someday with you. So yeah, if you get drafted to the Giants or to a team that’s far from Charleston, I want to do this.”
“If I agree to it,” he said, “it’s only because I love you.”
“I’m only suggesting it for the same reason,” she told him.
Jack turned away from the window, and Charli gave him a minute, watching as he picked up his fork and dipped it into their forgotten slice of cake. He took a bite and chewed slowly, meditatively, his eyes trained on his plate. “A boomerang, huh?”
“Yeah,” Charli said.
There were three things in his eyes when they met hers. Reluctance. Submission. Love. “Okay,” he said.
twelve
THEN
SOMETHING WAS OFF between Charli and Jack. Gianna had noticed this earlier that evening when she stopped by their table to say hello, and it was even more apparent now, as she spied on them from the window in the kitchen door.
She knew she shouldn’t be staring. She had better things to do, for starters. It had just begun to snow, so she should have been looking into road conditions and thinking about closing early. Charli and Jack also appeared to be having a very private conversation. Though they had chosen to have this private conversation in a very public place so wasn’t it at least partly their fault if people eavesdropped? (She was using this logic to justify what she knew was not socially acceptable behavior.)
Gianna had been thrilled when she first saw the couple walk through the door that night. She could usually always count on them to boost her spirits about love and her spirits had needed some serious boosting after the date she’d gone on the night before. (So terrible!) She’d been so hopeful about it too, which made the disappointment all that worse.
“You and Ron will be a perfect match!” Suzie Miller had assured her. Suzie was one of Gianna’s most beloved customers. She came in every Friday afternoon for a slice of the Triple Chocolate Oblivion and enjoyed it while reading a romance novel.
The romance novels were what had initially sparked their conversations about love. Suzie had found love twenty-seven years ago with her late-husband, Noah, and in his absence preferred to read about love instead of looking for it again with someone else. And Gianna kept her filled in on her romantic escapades. (Recently all disasters.)
Then, one Friday two weeks ago, Suzie informed Gianna that her attractive, responsible, delightful son, Ron, was newly single and would love to take her out. “He’ll take you somewhere nice and pick up the tab—don’t you worry,” she said. Gianna had shared with her how men these days often wanted to go Dutch on first dates. “Ron has manners,” Suzie told her. “And a great job.”
During the date, Gianna heard all about his great job (Vice President for E-Commerce at Columbia Sportswear). And his college water polo glory days (undefeated in regular season both his junior and senior years at Cal Berkeley). And his obsession with sailing. “Are you interested in sailing?” he had asked. It was the first question he had directed at her all evening. “Because I couldn’t date someone who wasn’t interested in sailing.” (Gianna was interested. Though she was pretty sure she’d jump off a boat if she ended up trapped on one with this guy.) She even knew his blood pressure! She still wasn’t sure why that came up in the conversation. Maybe because he’d ordered a steak? She’d stopped listening at that point and had begun to practice mindful eating because the scallops and lobster risotto she’d ordered had been quite delicious, and she knew she would never eat this meal again—at least not here. She couldn’t come back without remembering this awful date. It was a shame how many lovely restaurants had been ruined for Gianna by horrible dates.
But the worst part about the whole thing was that she might lose Suzie as a customer. Surely Suzie would want to know why Gianna wasn’t interested in Ron. And Gianna could only sugarcoat, “Your son is entirely self-absorbed!” so much.
Note to self: never let a customer set me up on a blind date again.
A touching moment between Charli and Jack had been just what Gianna needed. Only it seemed there was nothing touching happening between them tonight. They were arguing. And they never argued.
Now their waiter, Mel, was leaving their table and walking toward Gianna. Maybe she would have the inside scoop.
“Get this,” Mel said. Mel was studying to be an actress and spoke with dramatic effect even when there was nothing dramatic about a situation, though this time, Gianna thought her tone might be warranted. “Charli and Jack want to talk to you about making a reservation for a date in five years.”
“Why on earth would they want to do that?” Gianna asked. Who knew if she would even be in business in five years. It certainly seemed she would, given how well things were going, but there was no way of knowing for sure in her line of work.
“That’s all they told me,” Mel said with a shrug of her shoulders, leaving Gianna no choice but to go find out for herself.
“You know,” she said, pulling up a chair when she got to their table. “I just had a customer in here telling his buddies about a trip to Belize he’s planning on taking in ten years. Maybe you three should chat.”
They each gave her a faint smile. “Look, we know it’s an unusual request,” Charli said. “But we can explain.”
“Please,” Gianna said. “You’ve got me very curious.” She listened intently as Charli filled her in on the pact she and Jack were thinking of making. The whole time she couldn’t help but think how crazy it was. All her life she’d been looking for true love. Charli and Jack had found it in each other and were considering letting it go and running the risk of losing it forever. Did they not realize how lucky they were? Although maybe they were thinking the same thing about her. Though she didn’t have a guy, she did have her dream job. If she had to make a choice between this job and her dream guy, she guessed she could understand how that would complicate things.
“We aren’t sure if it will come to this,” Charli finished up saying. “We just want to check if it would be an option to reserve our favorite table that far in advance.”
“You know you can count on me to help you out,” Gianna said. “Assuming I’m still in business, of course I will hold your table for you. I really hope to
see you both there.”
thirteen
THEN
“SO, YOU MEAN TO tell me that I actually agreed to this ridiculous plan to break up for five years six months ago?” Jack tried to make a joke and break the tension between him and Charli as they sat on the dock behind his parents’ house, dangling their bare feet into the cool dark water the night before Jack was supposed to take off for San Jose.
The Giants had drafted him two weeks earlier. Jack got a call from their general manager while he was watching the draft on TV with Charli at his house in Corvallis. After verbally accepting their offer, he hung up and turned to her, his heart pounding.
“I’m going to the Giants,” he said.
Her eyes glistened. “Oh Jack, I’m so . . . happy for you.” When she drew him into a hug, they both lost it and cried mixed tears of happiness for their careers and sadness that it meant the hypothetical pact Charli had come up with were this to happen was no longer hypothetical.
They graduated the following week and then moved all their stuff out of Corvallis and back home, where they’d been since, trying to enjoy their last few days together.
Charli kicked up some water. “Yeah. Why’d you agree to it? Now here I am with cold feet.”
Jack didn’t want to have to mentally adjust to a different plan, so he nudged her and said, “Pull your toes out of the river then.”
Although he’d left Hayden’s only partly sold on Charli’s idea that night she suggested it, when he got home, he’d jostled his mom awake. In their kitchen over coffee, he told her Charli’s plan, and when he finished, his mom looked at him through the steam rising out of her mug and said, “Actually, Jack, I think that’s kind of smart.”
“You do?” he replied.
“Yeah,” she said. “I think it might work for you two. Timing is everything in relationships, and you two unfortunately met too early in your lives. This plan—to reintroduce yourselves to each other at a point in your lives when the timing is better—kind of sounds perfect given your situation.”
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