“Luminous Lady.” The General’s large frame appeared in front of me, blocking me. “What is the purpose of your visiting here?”
Revenge. But I did not need to explain to him. “None of your concern, General.”
“Do you have the Emperor’s permission to come here?”
I looked up to stare into his eyes. He had protected Pheasant and me from the Regent’s guards in the Audience Hall. I should have been grateful to him, but I did not care. It felt like such a long time ago. “No.”
“The Emperor is meeting with the ministers. It’s a formal meeting. You may not enter.”
“Then stop me. If you dare.”
He raised his eyebrows, giving me a long look, and then he turned to the guards lined at the wall. “Take Luminous Lady away.”
“I will not be taken away.”
“I am only doing my duty, Luminous Lady.”
Duty? I had saved his life by summoning him back to the palace, but he had never acknowledged me, and now he would pay me back with a stale excuse and try to stop me from speaking to Pheasant. I pointed my forefinger at him. “I should never have told Pheasant to summon you back. I should have let you rot at the border, you ungrateful, low soldier.”
He looked frozen, and his good eye that was not covered by the purple birthmark fixated on me. It occurred to me he had not known it was due to me that he had had a second chance in the court. I growled at his ungratefulness, looking hard at him.
The guards came to my side, but the General raised his hand, waving them away. Then he stepped aside.
Holding my head high, I passed the General and ascended the stairs, where a eunuch announcer readied to announce my arrival. I stopped him. I wished to listen to what the ministers had to say without them knowing I was around.
I stopped at the hall’s entrance, pricking my ears. There were dozens of ministers in the hall, with their backs to me. Pheasant, sitting at the center of the hall, was facing me, but he did not notice me. His gaze was on the ministers.
The Regent was ill, Minister Han Yuan and Minister Lai Ji, said, but he had sent a letter to Pheasant. Minister Lai Ji took out a scroll, unfurled it, and read in his loud voice: “Your Majesty, nephew of mine, I am told you have continued to summon the ministers to the Audience Hall during my absence. I must remind you, as indicated by your father’s will, all these gatherings are considered unlawful. For any urgent matter, I request all documents to be delivered and reviewed by my subjects as my health improves. Furthermore—”
Pheasant put up his hand. “Unlawful? How could he say that? Did he not receive my proposal? What is his reply to my request that he retire?”
Minister Lai Ji exchanged a look with Han Yuan. “I’m afraid, Your Majesty, the Regent is too ill to review the proposal.”
“He is too ill to review my proposal but not too ill to write this letter?” Pheasant frowned. “What else did he say?”
The man cleared his throat. “Nephew of mine, I am also gravely concerned about your recent behavior. It is atrocious that you should intimidate your most dutiful and capable minister. I find your recklessness inexcusable, and I declare such a tyrannical action should not be tolerated. Had your father still lived, he would have disowned you, and it is with a strong sense of obligation that I urge you, Nephew, to repent and take proper actions to examine yourself. Do not be fooled by a devious woman with a pretty face. Our kingdom is truly on the verge of great danger now that our Chancellor lies in bed in injury and our Secretary fears for his life. Do take my advice, Nephew, and make amends now and put our kingdom on the right path again.”
Fooled by a devious woman with a pretty face? Fury shot through my chest. I wanted to rush forward and tear the letter into pieces.
Pheasant leaned back behind the large lacquered table. “Is that it? Is that all he has to say to me?”
“The esteemed Regent also requests all ministers to present their petitions to him personally.”
“Tell my uncle that he must request this to my face.”
The two men did not speak but turned away in defiance.
“Minister Han Yuan,” Minister Xu Jingzong in a red robe interrupted. “What is the Regent’s opinion of the recent tragedy in the Inner Court? It is rather concerning, is it not, that our Empress would commit such a crime, and it is most sorrowful that an innocent child would become a victim.”
“Our great Regent has some advice on this matter, Minister Xu,” Minister Han Yuan, the man in a purple gown with a jade belt, said. “And these are his words.” He took out another letter from his pocket. “I am most saddened, Nephew, by the recent development in your Inner Court. Empress Wang, the daughter of the noble Wang family, the rightful wife of the Emperor of our kingdom, is the most benevolent and virtuous woman of our kingdom. It is most unfortunate that an innocent woman like her—”
“Innocent woman?” I strode over the threshold. “She killed my child!”
Everyone turned to me, and Han Yuan and Lai Ji frowned. They could protest all they wished, but I would not stand by and listen to a lie.
Pheasant raised his head. “Luminous Lady—”
“Your Majesty.” I bowed. “May I request your kindness in granting me this privilege to speak to the ministers? It would bring me peace if I hear their opinions.”
He nodded. “It is granted.”
“Minister Lai Ji, Minister Han Yuan, may I have this liberty to ask you what punishment the Regent has in mind regarding the Empress, the woman who murdered my child?”
“Punishment?”
“Surely, ministers, the court has heard of the case and taken steps to assure a necessary trial regarding the murder of my daughter?”
The two men glanced at each other, and Minister Han Yuan blinked so slowly, I could see the mole on his right eyelid, and then his eyes appeared, and the mole was hidden in the folds of skin. “Luminous Lady,” the dog of the Regent said. “I regret to inform you there is no trial arranged regarding this matter.”
“No trial?”
“I beg you to understand, Luminous Lady, and this is what the great Regent wished me to inform everyone as well,” Minister Lai Ji said, and his tone was full of contempt even though his words were courteous. “The Empress is the highest-ranking woman of our kingdom. She is not responsible for a crime. She cannot be involved in a case as nefarious as this. A trial is out of the question.”
Anger simmered in my chest. They would let her get away with her crime. She would be sleeping on her cushioned bed, drinking wine, and laughing while my daughter was buried underground! “Do explain, Minister Lai Ji. Why can’t she be tried?”
“Luminous Lady, I am simply reiterating what the great Regent has told us.”
“Is the Regent unaware of the murder?”
Those two were eyeing at each other again, and the dog replied, “As it appears, Luminous Lady, many people believe the Empress is innocent.”
“So you have repeatedly said! Then who murdered my child?”
“Luminous Lady.” The man bowed, but his body, his limbs, the turning of his head were nothing but gestures of combativeness. “I’m only—”
“How do you explain her visit?” I was screaming, but I could not help it, and Heaven help me, I would explode in fury if I did not let my words out. “Explain her visit!”
“Luminous Lady, I fear I cannot answer that question. However, if I may be allowed to express my opinion. Is it not so that a chief wife and the head of the Inner Court owes her duty to visit a newborn? Is it not part of tradition?”
“She never cared about visiting my daughter! And she asked to be alone with her! Is this part of the tradition too? My child was sleeping when she came, and she was…she was…” I trembled, and my breath was so hot, it burned my throat. “How does she explain that?”
“Luminous Lady, you must forgive me. Only the Empress hers
elf could give you an answer.” He bowed again, but his shoulders were stiff, and when he straightened, his face was that of a hog ready to charge.
I wanted to strike him. “Then bring her here. Ask her to come here! Ask her to face me!”
“Luminous Lady, I am merely a minister. I do not know where she is.”
But he did. And the Regent knew too. I was certain of it. “You’re a liar. You, and you.” I narrowed my eyes and walked closer to them. And I pointed at Minister Lai Ji and then Minister Han Yuan, and I made my voice loud and clear. “And the Regent. All of you. You are all unscrupulous liars, morons, and murderers.”
The men’s lips pursed, and anger and hatred flitted across their eyes. They would have said most vicious words to me, cursing me or striking me, if Pheasant were not here.
But I was not done with them yet. I leaned over, pointed at them, and put ice into my voice as I spoke. “I shall not forget this, ministers. I shall not forget every single word you said to me today, and I promise you, ministers, I shall catch that child killer. I shall have her in my hands. I shall take everything from her. I shall take her crown, I shall take her honor, and I shall take her life. I shall have you too—you and the Regent. I shall make you regret what you just said to me. I shall make you weep and cry for mercy. Remember this. Remember my words.”
That did it. The two dogs turned abruptly to Pheasant, bowed, and hurried out of the library. I watched them. I could imagine the Regent’s fury when he heard my words. He would consider what I said as a declaration of war, and he would be right. It was.
After a long moment, Pheasant spoke again.
“Go. All of you. Leave me alone with Luminous Lady.” He waved the rest of the ministers away. He looked tired, staring at the table, where scrolls, brushes, ink stones, and his jade dragon seal were all strewn in a pile.
Minister Xu Jingzong raised his head to me. It seemed he wished to speak to me, and there was something glittering in his eyes, something like pity, but I did not need pity. I turned away. He hesitated and then left without a word. More footsteps rushed behind me as the other ministers left as well.
“You too, General,” Pheasant said to the General who stood at the door. “Leave me alone.”
“Your Majesty—”
“I’m fine. Leave us.”
The General gave me a long look and left as well. The attendants followed him out, and then it was only Pheasant and me.
“I’m pleased to see you here, Luminous Lady. Come.” He beckoned. It was dim where he sat, and I could see only half of his face. Behind him spread a vast, ornate jade screen that depicted a beautiful landscape decorated with gold, rubies, and many precious gems. I used to adore it, but now it did nothing to appease me. “Come sit with me.”
I refused. Biting my knuckle, I paced in the hall. I wanted to shout, throw something, or scream. But above all, I wished those two liars had not left so I could strangle them with my bare hands.
“You heard what they said, didn’t you? They won’t punish the child killer. They think she’s innocent. Are you going to do something? Are you going to punish them?”
“I will.”
“Good.” I walked to his table and leaned over. He was wearing a black fur hat with a map of shining gems embroidered on it. They shone brightly in the dimness, hurting my eyes. “Kill them, Pheasant. Kill them all. Kill those two dogs and that old goat, and then no one will dare to protect her.”
He raised his head sharply. “All of them?”
“You heard them! The Regent refuses to retire. He is going to denounce you. Will you sit here and wait for him to throw you in prison?”
Pheasant stood up and began to pace in the hall. His face was dark, and the light in his eyes dimmed and sparked like the quivering candlelight. “He…he is so stubborn… Why? Why would he hate me so? He was not like this…”
I stood in front of him and gripped his arms. “Now you know what kind of man he truly is! He does not care about you, nephew or not. You must forget he is your uncle! And you must arrest Zhong too. You will arrest him and give him to me.” Zhong was Pheasant’s child too, and he would protect the boy. But I did not care.
Pheasant froze. “Zhong? He’s innocent. He’s only a child.”
I threw up my hands in disgust. “I want her to suffer. She has to suffer! She has killed my child! And he’s her pawn! He has to pay for her crime.”
Pheasant sighed. “I know these days have been difficult, Mei. I wanted to talk to you. I’m glad you have come out of the garden.”
I did not want him to change the subject. “I have thought it through, Pheasant. You must act. Act now. You must arrest Zhong, her adopted son. Cut him off from her. Without him, she is nothing.”
“Calm down, now. We need to talk about this.” He took my hands and held them. I realized I had been clenching my fists so hard that my fingernails had cut into my palms.
“Are you going to do it?” I asked. He was hesitating. “Are you afraid?”
“I’m not afraid.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
He lowered his head and slowly walked to his table.
He was weak! “She’s with him! You know that. The Regent! You wanted him to be gone; you said that to me. Do you remember? Have you changed your mind? Do you still wish to be a true emperor?”
He slumped, and then he turned to face the pillars on the left side on the hall. It was dark there, and empty, but he stared at it for a long time, and I wanted to shake him to wake him up. “If we start this…” He swallowed. “More lives will be lost. More innocent lives…”
“You started this bloodshed.”
“I know, Mei, and I wish I had not.” His voice was hollow, drifting in the large, dark building. “And look what happened to us, our daughter… I was wrong. Revenge is not a remedy… Violence is not a remedy… Mei, it’s not a way to rule.”
“It is. Revenge is the only way to live.”
“But the Regent is my uncle, and Zhong… He is my blood too.”
“Do you think the Regent will ever let you sit on the throne? Do you think he will step aside peacefully and bow to you? He killed Prince Ke and Princess Gaoyang!” I gripped his arms to give him my strength, to make him stronger. “Wipe them out, Pheasant, wipe them out. All of them.”
“That is a lot of lives, Mei.”
“Think about your father, Pheasant. Do you remember what he did?” The ambush at the Xuanwu Gate, where he killed his two brothers and imprisoned his own father to seize the throne, and the hundreds of children, women, servants, and ministers he had slaughtered. He had been ruthless. He had been determined. And he had won.
Pheasant took a deep breath and held my face in his hands. I could feel his tenderness, and I watched him with hope. He loved me, and he had to side with me. After all, Oriole was his daughter too. But he said, “Listen, Mei. I understand how you feel. You want justice. Nothing else. I understand—”
He could not do it. He would never be his father. He had too much love in his heart, just like what his father had said a long time ago. I pushed him away. “You are a coward. Your father was right about you.”
He winced and dropped his hand.
Pheasant was weak. Oh heavens! I was wrong. I had been delusional. I had been wrong about him all these years, and now my child was gone, the murderer was running free, and the father of my murdered child, the Emperor of the kingdom, had no spine for revenge!
I grabbed his arm. I smelled the scent of musk from his robe, felt the smooth silk with my fingers, his soft skin underneath the fabric, his hard bones, and I lowered my head and sank my teeth in his arm, savagely.
“What are you doing?” he cried out, but the sound only infuriated me, and I bit harder. “Stop, Mei!”
Footsteps came from the corridor, and the General was shouting, “What’s going on? What’s going on?
Your Majesty, Your Majesty!” He burst in.
I stepped back, breathing hard.
“I’m all right. Nothing to worry about, General.” Pheasant held his arm, looking ghostly pale.
He could order his guards to beat me to death for biting him, but I knew he would not do that. He was a coward. A coward!
I could not breathe. I could not stand. But I tried, very hard, to stand straight and pointed at him. “You killed her. You. You killed her, your own daughter.”
31
The General offered to escort me to my garden as the imperial physicians poured into the library to tend to Pheasant. I refused and stormed out. He followed me anyway. I spun around.
“What do you want?”
“The Emperor—”
“So you listen to his orders? Then go get that murderer’s son. Get him, and kill him!”
He hesitated. I snorted in disgust and entered my carriage. I told my driver to drive as fast as he could, and when I reached my garden, I stormed through the gate.
“Apricot!” I yelled. I could not persuade Pheasant to act, so I must do it myself.
A figure in white appeared in the corridor. “Luminous Lady.”
I stopped to catch my breath. “You have failed me, Apricot. You serve me, you are my chief maid, and you are supposed to protect my children. You failed me!”
“Yes, Luminous Lady.” Apricot’s voice was barely audible, and the old familiar quaver had crept in.
“Why were you not here when that child killer came? Why? Why?”
“I…I have told you… Hong…” She dropped her head lower.
“That’s convenient. So convenient. I don’t believe it!”
“It’s true.”
I pushed up her chin. “Look at me. Look at me! Did you betray me? Did you? Did you lie to me? Did you play with that fat butcher and tell that woman to come and kill my child? Answer me! Do not lie!”
Her lips trembling, she closed her eyes.
I pushed her away in fury and turned to the few people who had gathered around. “Everyone to the yard and kneel. Now!”
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