The information made Kade sad, but it didn't surprise her. She'd picked up on how wounded Cole was, and not just because of the scars on his back.
"Just be careful. Cole's a good guy—don't you dare tell him I said that." She pointed a finger. "He just doesn't get close to people. Well, besides Danny. He dated Tiffany for a year, and I swear to you, I'm not sure he even liked her that much." She shrugged. "He's dated a lot of girls. Although dated is probably the wrong word."
Acid, like bile, hit the back of Kade's throat, and a shudder rolled through her body. "I'll be careful. I'm taking a huge risk by telling you this."
"I won't tell a soul." Giselle looked her in the eyes. "I promise."
"I know that. Your turn. Tell me anything."
Giselle bit the side of her lip, glancing down at her tray again. "No one can know," she whispered. "I have no one to talk to about it." She picked at her thumb nail, still not lifting her gaze.
"Okay."
She inhaled a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I'm...I...see...I'm see...seeing...I'm seeing...Lindsey." Her gaze focused on Kade's as if she was waiting for a hit.
"I know."
"What? What do you mean, you know?"
"I've always known, G. Well, I've always suspected."
"What? Why?"
Kade laughed. "You argue like an old married couple for one, Lindsey would do anything in the world for you, including putting up with all your tantrums—no offense, but it's true—and you look at each other the same way Cole and I do."
"It's really that obvious?"
"To me. To everyone else? I doubt it."
Giselle glanced at her hands picking at her thumb nail again. "And is that, do you hate me? Want to stop being friends with me?"
"Why would I hate you?"
She shrugged. "Because you know, that means that I'm..."
"Gay?"
She winced. "Can we not use that word? I mean, I'm not ashamed of liking Lindsey, I'm not, but being what I am, what we are, no one in the Ward is like us. Like, no one. And it isn't that we're told we can't be...you know, but no one is, and I don't know what people will think. We could get kicked out of the Kinship, the whole Ward. Banished."
"G, just because you don't know about anyone else being gay, doesn't mean people aren't. They could be as afraid as you are to say something."
"Maybe. Can you keep it a secret? I know I have to say something eventually, but...I'm not ready to do that yet."
"Everything in my life is a secret at this point," Kade said. "I'll never say a word, Giselle. I promise."
"Thanks."
"So, where is Lindsey?"
"Doing rounds. Everyone's searching for Kyle. I have 'Kade duty.'" She made little quotes in the air. "Not that I mind or anything, I'm just worried."
It was hard to argue with that, and Kade still had no real idea what doing rounds for the Ward meant, so she wasn't sure how much danger Lindsey could be in. A lot, likely, with the way Giselle was pouting.
"Lindsey's tough. She knows what she's doing and everyone is searching for Kyle. Doubt he'll get far."
Giselle looked passed Kade, eyes darkening the same way she’d seen Cole’s do so many times. "What happened?" Giselle asked, fear spiking through her words.
Kade turned around, following her gaze, and Cole straddled the bench next to her, his knee firmly pressing against her thigh. "I just got off the phone with Danny."
"Oh, god."
"Don't panic, G. We've had some activity near the Eureka mine. Lindsey was involved."
Giselle's hand went to her mouth and she popped to her feet. "Where is she?"
"The Kinship. Danny says he doesn't think it's bad—"
Giselle was gone, tearing across the cafeteria with way too much speed for a human being.
Cole swept his hand down Kade's thigh. "We need to go, too. Kyle was spotted in the woods outside one of the shafts near Denver."
Blood fed through her veins. "Go where?"
"Your house." He gave a half excited smile. "I'm not hiding from him. If he wants you, that's where he'll look, and he'll have to come through me to get to you. I'm kind of looking forward to that."
***
Cole insisted that they not check out of school. Too many Primordials checking out and being noticeably absent on the same day drew too much attention. He also insisted that Kade leave her car, something that she was positive her dad would have an issue with once he knew.
"What if my dad's home?" she asked as Cole drove up the mountain at mach-speed. "We can't exactly just show up in the middle of the day."
"Doubtful he'll be home. I've been watching your house for a while. He's rarely home when you're not."
That didn’t surprise her. Doctors on call usually worked all hours. Stupid, crazy hours. "But when he gets home and my car isn't there he'll freak out."
"Danny's bringing it over in a few minutes." Cole downshifted.
"He's planning to drive it without the keys?" She lifted a brow.
Cole waved his hand in the air and electricity crackled in the car. "We don't need keys."
Her mouth fell open.
"Can I ask you something?" He rested his hand on her knee.
"Yeah."
"Do you have any idea why Kyle would be after you? Why Dracon wants you?"
Kade was wondering when that question was going to come up again. "Kyle, no, no idea, other than you making him look like an idiot in the parking lot outside the coffee place." She paused. "Earlier that day, before that happened, Kyle said something to me in the hallway about sticking to my own. I had no idea what he meant then. I do now, but, I don't know. It was really weird."
"Anything else?"
"Dracon said he needed my help. That I was born to help."
"Huh?"
"I don't know. The thing is..." Kade glanced at him. "He's never been mean to me. He's always been...considerate?"
Cole gave a forced laugh. "That doesn't surprise me in the least. Dracon was a Primori. We are taught proper etiquette from birth." He sighed. "I still don't get it. Fledglings get turned when possible by the Devil's Children so they can increase their numbers, but if that's what he wanted, he'd have done it already."
As they approached Kade's house, she realized that Cole had been right, her dad's SUV wasn't in the driveway.
"You know what else is really weird?" he asked, shutting off the engine.
"What?"
"The number of times I've been to your house without actually going inside. Well, except for the night you were all over me in your bed." He grinned.
"No, I wasn't." Kade hopped out of the Jeep.
"You were like a leech." Cole wrapped his arms around her waist. "You wanted me then, even if you didn't admit it to yourself."
She kissed him, a quick peck, and disentangled his arms. "I was asleep."
"You know what they say about people who talk in their sleep?" He followed her across the front yard.
"Do tell."
"They only speak the truth."
"You're making that up."
He laughed. "I swear, I'm not. I read it in a psychology book."
"You read books? Actual books?"
"Hundreds. Do you have old baby albums we can look at to kill the time?"
"Is that really how you were hoping to kill the time?" Kade unlocked the front door.
Cole put his hands on her hips from behind. "Your mind and the gutter are coming in contact far more often than I would've ever pegged you for, Sparrow."
Her face burned and she leaned back against him. Kade didn't know what it was about him that made words like that slip from her lips. She knew absolutely nothing about anything related to her mind being in the gutter, but every time Cole was near her, her mouth had a mind all its own.
Cole kissed the side of her neck. "I still want to see the pictures."
A shiver rolled down her spine and she opened the front door.
"The house of Sparrow," he said, a hand still linger
ing around her waist.
"What does that mean? I remember you saying something about that while I was asleep, I think. When you were talking to me at the Kinship?"
"You really did hear every word I said that day, didn't you?"
"Your voice pulled me out of whatever void I was in. It was lulling and gentle." Kade touched his mouth where his cut stretched over his bottom lip. "Thank you."
"’His Eye Is on the Sparrow,’" Cole whispered. "It's a song by Civilla D. Martin. Written in 1905. It's based on a Bible verse. One of the many, many books on religions my dad made me read when I was young."
"Will you sing it for me?"
He grinned before launching into the melodic, emotional song. "Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come. Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heav’n and home… I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free. For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me." Cole smiled. "It's from Matthew 10:29-31. It reminds me of you."
She gazed at him, speechless. "I don't know what brought you to me, or what you see in me, but you are the most incredible person I have ever known."
A shy grin graced his lips, and he kissed her softly, adoringly. "I don't know what you see when you look in the mirror, but when I look at you, I see everything I've ever wanted." He kissed her nose. "So where are the photo albums?"
"Really?" She laughed.
"You thought I was kidding?" He shook his head. "I want to see."
Kade wondered how many people knew the real Cole, the sweet, gentle, Cole. She doubted very many. "Most of the albums are still packed. But I have a few in my room. Baby pictures mostly. I don't like looking at the ones when I was older."
He frowned. "Why not?"
"Because I was normal...when I was a baby."
"What do you mean?"
She started up the staircase.
"Uh." Cole's gaze tracked her movement. "Am I supposed to follow you?"
"That's where the albums are."
He tilted his head. "In your bedroom?"
"Right."
"You want me to come into your bedroom with you?"
A smile spread across her face. "Oh, my god, Cole." She marched back down the steps and grabbed his hand, pulling him after her. "Are you always this…virtuous?"
"Well..."
"Don't answer that. Do not dare answer that." She opened her bedroom door. "I do not want to hear one word about how you were with other girls." She let go of his hand, but he grabbed hers back.
"I was going to say that I've lived in the Brotherhood since I was nine." He turned her around to face him. "So, I've never been in a girl's bedroom before. Except yours, and considering you were unconscious, this is the first time I've been in here by invitation."
"Oh." Kade's face brightened. "I just assumed, you know, that you've been with…you know, a lot of...girls."
The edge of lip lifted into that cocky grin of his, but he didn't say anything.
Her smile vanished and she pulled her hand away.
"I have been with other girls, Kade, but never one that mattered in the right way."
"I think I read that line in one of my romance novels," she said in a flat tone.
Cole laughed and grabbed her hand again. "You read romance novels?"
"Yes, no, sometimes. What else am I supposed to do? I've had no friends, so it was either that, or—" She stopped talking, as the saddest expression crossed Cole's face. "I mean...don't change the subject."
"Sparrow." He touched her cheek.
She averted her eyes. "It's okay."
"No. It's not okay." He lifted her chin. "But you're not alone anymore."
"I know."
"Can I tell you a story?" He swept her hair away from her neck and placed a hand on each shoulder. "You know you love my stories." He grinned that cocky smile again, and Kade was beginning to adore it.
"I do, actually."
"I know. So, before I met Danny." Cole stopped. "You can't tell him this, or it will go straight to his head. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Before I met Danny I had no friends. I was always training, getting ready to take up my position as a Primori. It was all I knew. All I cared about. Training and reading. And until I moved into the Brotherhood, I didn't realize what I'd missed just being a kid. I didn't even know what that was. Playing, hanging out. I was confident in my abilities and thought I was at the Brotherhood to do my job. The best job I could, to make my dad proud. Danny, on the other hand, was scared to death of what he was, and he was terrible at every skill we tried to teach him. He couldn't run worth a damn, could barely move a leaf with his energy, much less uproot a tree. So, since I was good at everything, Plumb thought we would make a good match. I could teach him to be a Primori, and he could teach me to open up."
"Open up?"
“I haven’t always been the sweet, gentle guy I am around you. I used to be pretty angry.”
She frowned.
"Anyway, my point is that even though he never says it, and probably would never admit it, Danny thinks I saved him from the hell that he believed being a Primordial was, but in truth, he saved me. He's still saving me." He averted his eyes. "So are you."
"Cole..."
"We're not very different, you and me.” He touched her cheek. “Maybe that's why I couldn't get you out of my head after Crystalline. I could feel it."
"You amaze me," Kade whispered. "Everyone thinks you're a total ass, but—"
"Everyone is probably right. I'm not all that amazing, but I'm glad you think I am. I'm glad I am when I'm with you. Pictures?"
"Pictures." Kade walked to her desk drawer. "It's weird, everything else used to stay in boxes for the most part. I'm not sure when I have to move into the Kinship, so I don't know what to leave packed up, but my albums, I always unpack them first. At every house. I don't know why." She pulled out two large black binders and sat down next to Cole on the bed.
Pictures of a smiling baby girl with white-blond hair and bright hazel eyes lined the pages.
"Look how cute you are." Cole nudged her arm.
"Yeah, like a different person."
"Not really."
Kade pointed at one of the pictures. "This one's my favorite."
Cole peered closely at the photo. "You're wearing a gold necklace." A tiny charm of a star hung from the delicate chain around her chubby, little neck.
"Yeah."
"Kade? Why are you wearing that?"
"I wore it until I was five years old and then I lost it. Why?"
"It's an Astrum necklace."
“Really?”
He stared at the picture. “It means lodestar.”
“Yeah. Like the North Star.”
“Exactly.” He glanced away from the photo and at her. “The star that leads you home if you’re lost.”
Her breath caught a little by the idea of that. Home.
“All Primori wear an Astrum necklace after they're born. Only Primori."
"Primori?"
"Maybe your dad didn't know that?” he asked, glancing at the picture again. “Is that even possible? That he wouldn't know?"
"We never talk about Primordial stuff, so...” She shrugged “I don't know."
"Can I see your palm?" Cole held his hand out. "The moon's mark?"
Kade opened her hand, and Cole traced his finger over the birthmark. The motion made Kade shiver. He grinned and folded her hand closed, gazing at her. It seemed as if he wanted to say something, but didn't.
Kade set the album next to her on the bed. "So, should we keep watch over all the windows? Stalk the woods? Set up a barricade?"
"A barricade?" He laughed.
"Well, how do you guys do your rounds, or whatever?"
"When I'm doing rounds," Cole said. "I check a certain stretch of land, make sure it's sound, no Daemoneum activity. We all have our specific coordinates, I guess you could say."
"Coordinates? Are you guys like your own military?"
"Are yo
u making fun of me?" He tickled her and she fell back on the bed, laughing. "You are." Cole flipped onto his knees, straddling her waist, his hands on either of her head.
Kade stopped laughing.
"The last time I was in your bed, you had your hands all over me," he whispered. "I couldn't move or breathe. And you were saying my name in your sleep."
"Your name?" Oh, god.
"It was sweet. You didn't want me to leave you."
Her gaze seared into his. "I still don't."
“‘Awake forever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever—or else swoon to death.’”
She blushed. “Did you just make that up?”
“No. Keats.” He kissed her nose. “You know, I never thought I'd be back here as your boyfriend. I hoped, but—"
Kade pulled him down to her. "Why are you still talking?"
"I have no idea." He parted her lips with his own.
Kade's fingers threaded through the hair on the back of his neck, and Cole's hand brushed down her side, resting on her hip. The kiss deepened. She tasted fire on his lips, inhaled the sweet scent of cotton on his clothes. Cole's chest rose and fell against her own. His fingers grazed bare skin near the waistline of her jeans. Kade's body shook. Being in the hot spring with only their bathing suits on had been one thing, but being in her bed, even completely clothed, was altogether different. An urgency grew between them, and Kade wanted Cole closer, tighter against her.
Her hands lifted his shirt, fingers tracing the scars on his back, and she pulled his shirt off, trailing her hand over his bare chest, the hard ridges on his stomach, the edge of his hip bone just above the waistline of his jeans. He sucked in a breath, and lowered himself onto her body, pressing his hips against hers as his tongue explored mouth. Uncontrolled energy surged out of her. Their staggered breaths mingled between kisses.
She wanted more of him. All of him. She'd never been with anyone before, had barely kissed a guy until Cole, but in that moment, she would've given Cole anything he wanted. Gladly. Freely.
"I have to stop." He gazed down through coal black eyes, his breaths coming out in uneven drags, and with what seemed like a tremendous effort, he peeled himself up, and supported his weight above her on his hands. "Jesus, Kade." His eyes sparkled in that dark color, as if the light in them had been eclipsed. "You can't do that."
CRYSTALLUM (The Primordial Principles Book 1) Page 26