I walked into Jessie Belle’s through the front door. I had been forcing myself to be out among people no matter how crappy I felt. I walked in full of smiles, but I was still given knowing looks. I had forgotten that I had skipped church, on Mother’s Day no less.
My little ladies group waved me over almost as soon as I came in. They looked eager as I approached. Fran pulled over a nearby chair for me to sit in.
I took it and smiled at them curiously. I had never been invited to sit with them.
They all looked at me expectantly, but it was Doris who handed me a large gift bag.
Even more curious, I reached for the bag. “What’s this ladies?”
“Open it,” Ingrid encouraged gently.
“Okay.” I smiled. I removed the massive amount of cream-colored tissue paper that looked nice against the craft paper bag. I peered in and my emotions immediately got the best of me. Through my faucet of tears I pulled out a beautiful patchwork quilt. The whites, blues, and patterned blocks melded beautifully together. I held it to me. “What is this for?”
“We wanted you to know you’re loved,” Gerri said. The rest of the ladies nodded their heads in agreement.
“Thank you. It’s gorgeous, and the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever received.”
Fran took it from me and opened it up. “See this pocket.” She pointed to it. “You can put something from your baby in it, so when you wrap it around you it will be like you’re getting a hug straight from heaven.”
The tears poured more heavily. I had several napkins pushed my way and I took the lot of them. Carter was perhaps the only reason I hung on to hope that there was a God, because surely if there was a heaven, Carter would be there. I wanted to believe he was in heaven watching over us, that his soul lived on somewhere.
I stood up and held the blanket to me. “You ladies order whatever you want. On the house. Thank you. You have no idea what this means to me.”
They all smiled through their own tears.
I walked back to my office through the stares of several onlookers. I didn’t need to explain my tears. I’m sure the ladies would explain for me after I exited. I had no doubt I would be talked about, but this time I didn’t mind.
I sat at my desk with the blanket in hand. I looked over all the tiny details, like the intricate stitching. It even smelled heavenly, like a baby. I don’t know how they managed that, but the scent was intoxicating.
In the midst of my love fest for the quilt, my mother barged in without knocking or pretense.
“Young lady—” she growled, but she stopped when she noticed the tears and that I was wrapped up in a quilt at work.
“Yes?” I replied innocently.
She neared with a bewildered look in her eye. “What are you doing?”
“Isn’t this the most beautiful quilt?” I asked instead of answering.
“Yes, but what are you doing with it?”
“The little craft group made it for me.”
“How lovely.”
“It really is.”
My mom reached out and touched the soft fabric. “Beautiful detail,” she remarked.
I nodded.
Her face went from soft and sweet to stern in a second flat. “What were you thinking yesterday?” I guess the niceties were over.
“I’m sorry. I had no idea it would cause such an uproar.”
“Uproar? Honey, your husband was beside himself. He was in such a state even your dad was nice to him.”
I felt my eyes widen at that particular piece of news.
“The only time I’ve ever seen him like that was last year when you were rushed into surgery and he thought they might not be able to save your life.”
“Mom, I’m sorry. I don’t know what else I can say. I needed some time to myself. Blake and I hadn’t been speaking to each other. I honestly thought he wouldn’t notice.”
“Believe me, he noticed. He was ready to call the police, search and rescue, you name it. Had your dad not calmed him down he may have done just that. But then it hit him that maybe you had left him. Are you planning on leaving your husband?”
Well, if I had been, I would have changed my mind. I’d never seen her look so disappointed in me. I didn’t know if she had ever looked at me like that. “No,” I said simply. I was a little miffed to be scolded like a child.
I saw her visibly relax.
“But Mom, you need to prepare yourself that we may not have the happy ending you and Dad have. We may not survive this. And if that happens I need to know that you will still love me.”
Her features softened as she stepped closer and lifted my chin with her hand. “Jessica Isabelle Summers, there is nothing you can do that would make me not love you. Now go find your husband and work this out.”
I rolled my eyes. “Mom, Blake is working and we talked last night. We’re trying.”
“Do or do not. There is no try.”
“Thanks, Yoda.”
“Is that quote really from Star Wars?” my mother asked.
“Yes, Mom. And we are trying.”
“Your husband loves you. Try harder.”
“Where’s Dad?” I smiled. I needed some parental love.
“Your dad and I are in agreement here.”
“Great. If Blake and I do spilt up, I’ll send him to live with you since you apparently love him more.”
“Don’t joke about things like that.”
“I’m not.”
She actually shook her finger at me.
“Can I get back to work now?”
She dropped her hand. “I love you, Jessie Belle. I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret.”
“I know. I’m doing the best I can right now.”
“Maybe you should go and see Dr. Ames again. Or perhaps get some couples counseling.”
“Do you see Blake going to counseling?”
My mother smiled knowingly.
We were talking about the man that super glued his skin together when what he really needed was stitches. Something my father, the doctor, had never been impressed with.
My mom gave me a tight squeeze. “I love you, honey.”
“Uh, huh.”
She looked at me incredulously.
“I love you, too.”
I loved my mother, but she could drive me crazy sometimes. I think she thought the whole world should be in love, and it was her job to make sure it came to pass.
She was not my last visitor of the day. Around noon I was out talking to Easton, who had now been frequenting the café for lunch, too. I think he needed someone to talk to and, for some reason, I was it.
“Kathryn moved out over the weekend,” he started off.
“I’m sorry?” I wasn’t sure if he was relieved or upset.
“It’s a good thing.”
“How’s Emmy taking it?”
“She’s so quiet, but she’s always been that way.”
“So, will she be staying with you?”
“Yes,” he said firmly. “I wouldn’t let Kathryn have her even if she wanted to.”
That didn’t sound right, but I wasn’t surprised. Kathryn never struck me as the motherly type, unless you count those that eat their young when they’re born. Easton had always seemed to be the caretaker.
“I’m here if you need help with her.”
“Could you watch her tonight during practice?”
“I would love to. Bring her to the ballpark. I planned on being there tonight already. I’ll see if Abby can bring her kids and we’ll play at the park.”
He gave a small sort of grin. “Thanks, Jessie. That would be good for her. She’s staying with Helen during the day now, and though she is sweet, I think Helen’s idea of childcare involves a lot of television.”
Oh, Helen. She was the sweetest little lady. She was our school librarian back in the day, but she retired a few years ago. I never thought her job fit her. I don’t know how many books she actually read, but ask her about any television show or m
ovie and she could give you a full review. She never married and lived in this cute pink house near the town square. It fit her perfectly.
“I asked Taylor if Ashley could come for the summer to watch her but, not surprisingly, she shot down that idea.”
I raised my eyebrows. “I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but that was kind of gutsy and maybe a little stupid.”
“Yeah, I know. I really screwed up. I know Taylor won’t believe this, but my biggest regret is missing out on Ashley’s life. But I can’t blame her for feeling like she has to protect her from me. I’ve been a terrible father to her. My daughters don’t even know each other. How wrong is that?”
“It’s not too late to make amends. From what Taylor says, Ashley’s a great kid and she wants her dad in her life.”
He looked up, his eyes hopeful. “Did she really say that?”
I nodded and gave him a closed-lipped smile.
“Do you think Taylor would give me the chance?”
“As long as she feels like you are sincere and you’re not going to flit in and out of Ashley’s life, then yes. But you know Taylor; it’s going to take some convincing.”
He smiled. “Well, at least I chose one good mother for my children.”
“She is a good mom.” I always thought so when they lived here, and still did as I’d watched Ashley grow up on social media. Every post on Taylor’s blog or on Facebook had always been about Ashley. How Easton went from Taylor to Kathryn I’ll never know. I think he was trying to figure that out, too. But I couldn’t judge him. I had my own marital issues and you never knew what went on behind closed doors.
Abby and Cheyenne interrupted our conversation. I could tell they were bursting to know what had happened the previous day. We left Easton to his lunch and headed to my office. The last thing I needed was for us to be overheard.
“I think for Easton Cole I would re-think my never settling with one man policy,” Cheyenne said as we walked back.
I smacked her arm. “Cheyenne, the man isn’t even divorced.” And as much as I loved Cheyenne, she was the last thing Easton needed. Besides, I had a sneaking suspicion he still had some buried feelings for Taylor.
“He will be soon.”
Abby and I both rolled our eyes. She was too much sometimes.
As soon as we settled in my office, they commenced with the third degree.
“First of all, don’t ever scare us like that again,” Cheyenne said with Abby nodding her head. “Secondly, I never thought I would say this, but I think maybe I could like Blake.”
“Really?” I asked. Those two had never gotten along. They were the antithesis of each other.
“He was so worried about you,” Abby threw in.
“Yes, but it was good to see him squirm after taking advantage of you all these years.” Cheyenne couldn’t leave well enough alone.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“I’m just saying I don’t think Blake has put a whole lot of effort into your relationship. You’re alone a lot for being a married woman.”
Hmm. I wasn’t sure how to respond. My marriage is something that I had mostly kept private, as I should have. “Blake and I have both contributed to our problems.”
“Maybe so,” Abby said, “but I think Cheyenne’s right. He’s never seemed to want to be a part of your life until recently.”
I held back the tears. I was tired of crying. Blake had done nothing malicious. I think he just didn’t understand how important some things were to me, and he was busy building a business. “We’re both trying to make some changes.”
“Make sure he’s worthy of you this time,” Cheyenne added in.
“Let’s not talk about my marriage anymore,” I had already had enough from my mother earlier. “Do you guys want to catch practice tonight?”
Cheyenne’s eyes lit up. “Uh, yeah. Easton’s playing right?”
This time Abby smacked her. “I thought you were dating Kent?”
“I am.” She grinned wickedly.
“You better keep dating him until the season’s over,” I admonished her. “We can’t afford to have anyone quit the team.”
“I can’t make any promises.”
We all laughed.
It felt good to laugh.
Chapter Ten
I knew Blake would look good in baseball pants. I had forgotten how physically attracted I was to him. He did a nice job of reminding me as I covertly watched him from the park. Call me crazy, but there is something sexy about a man swinging a bat with command and then connecting with the ball forcefully, sending it sailing over the fence. Watch Field of Dreams or The Natural and you’ll see what I’m talking about. I would have to thank my mom for showing me those films when I was younger. I think she had a thing for both Robert Redford and Kevin Costner. I think maybe I had a thing for my husband. Somebody get me something cold to drink. It didn’t hurt that he looked my way, caught me staring at him, and actually smiled.
The team looked to be shaping up well. I had high hopes that we would finally beat Riley Insurance and wipe the stupid smirk off of Landon’s face that I had to put up with every time we ran into each other, which was too often in our small town.
“What are you grinning about?” Abby asked as we sat on the park bench watching her girls and Emmy.
“Do you see the way her husband looks in those baseball pants?” Cheyenne answered for me.
I turned to her and gave her a faux dirty look. “Are you checking out my husband?”
“No, but I will say I can see why you’ve stayed married to him.” She grinned evilly.
“Our relationship goes beyond skin deep, thank you.”
“Oh, really?” Cheyenne mocked.
“Yes, of course,” I said, annoyed. I wasn’t shallow.
“Tell us why you’ve stayed with him, then,” Abby asked. Cheyenne and I were both stunned by her boldness.
I sat back some and thought for a moment. My feelings for Blake had been very unsettled recently. I looked over at my husband, who was now throwing a ball from right field, and I tried to remember why I fell in love with him in the first place and why I had stayed with him. The initial attraction was physical, but I did admire his work ethic and though he was tough on his crew, he was fair and never unkind. Once a guy on his crew got an emergency call that his two-year-old fell and was being rushed to the hospital. The poor man was understandably a wreck. It was like he couldn’t think. Blake immediately stepped in and got him to think rationally and then drove him to the hospital. I was told later by the wife that Blake had given them money to help cover the emergency room visit. He did it quietly; he didn’t want thanks for it. That’s the way he was. It was why I fell in love with him. If he saw a need he tried to take care of it, but in his own way and without fanfare.
“I never have to ask him to take out the trash or do the dishes, and he does his own laundry,” I informed my friends. He’d done my laundry on occasion too, even taking special care of my delicates and hand-washing them. And during and after every miscarriage and illness, I’ve never had to lift a finger. Knowing the house and meal preparation was taken care of was better than any bouquet of flowers, although those wouldn’t have hurt any.
“That’s impressive,” Abby said almost jealously.
“What?” Cheyenne disagreed.
“What I wouldn’t do for Shane to help out more around the house, and without being asked. I mean really, can’t he see the dishes piling up in the sink or the hamper overflowing? I would be happy if his clothes made it into the hamper,” she lamented.
“There is something to be said for a man that cleans up after himself,” I threw in.
“How unromantic you two have become.”
“Nothing is sexier than a man doing chores. Ask any wife,” Abby said.
I nodded my head in agreement.
“This is why I’m never getting married. It’s pathetic.”
Abby and I both laughed at her. She threw up her hands
like she was done with us.
We probably did sound unromantic, but after thirteen years or so of marriage, your perception of romance changes, or you just come to terms with the fact your husband was not meant to be romantic. It was a crying shame we weren’t more romantic. It’s not like we had kids to get in the way of that, at least not yet. I had to remind myself we would soon have an almost-teen in the house.
I was still trying to get used to the idea that Blake meant for her to stay in my baby’s room. I had tried to go in there this morning before I left for work, but I couldn’t. I wanted to take one more look before he dismantled it or did whatever he was going to do with it.
“So,” Abby said covertly, “when are you going to meet Madeline?”
I sat up straighter and tucked my hair behind my ear. I guess the cat would be out of the bag soon enough. I sighed loudly. “She’s coming to stay with us for the summer.”
They both looked at me with wide eyes and mouths wide open.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Her mom is taking part in some experimental trial this summer. I also have a feeling that Sabrina wants her to come here, just in case.”
“Just in case what?” Cheyenne asked.
“In case this treatment doesn’t work.”
They both gave me knowing looks.
“I’m trying to prepare myself for the fact this could be a permanent situation.”
“Are you okay with that?” Abby asked.
“Honestly, I don’t know what I’m okay with anymore.”
Isabelle came running into my arms before we could discuss anything else regarding my step-parenthood.
“Jessie, Jessie! I forgot to tell you.”
“What?” I asked her eagerly as she sat on my lap.
She squished my cheeks with her small soft hands. “Mama cat had her babies!”
“Oh, my goodness. She did?”
“Yes, and they’re so tiny.”
“How many did she have?”
She held up three little fingers.
“What are you going to name them?”
“I want to name them Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella, but Connor and Avery said those are stupid names.”
I hugged her to me. “I think they’re cute.”
Jessie Belle: The Women of Merryton - Book One Page 9