As Gage came into the light, the anger on his face faded, quickly replaced with what I hoped was relief. The moment he got within arm’s reach, he yanked me towards him and crushed me against his chest.
“Never. Ever. Ever, do that to us again. Okay?” he half growled into my ear.
I shuddered.
I’d been prepared for angry. I’d been prepared to be yelled at and told how stupid and how inconsiderate I’d been. What I wasn’t prepared for was this. The way Gage clung to me, like he was somehow afraid he’d lost me.
Unable to hold my shit together a second longer, I dissolved into a fit of tears, feeling the soul shattering sobs consume me. Just when I thought Gage would pull away, put distance between the crying emotional mess of female in his arms, he did the exact opposite. Instead, he just squeezed even tighter, repeating into my ear that it was all okay. Even though I knew he was lying, I clung to him like my life depended on it. And truthfully, maybe it did.
“So…about my hammock…” Damn, I loved Carly. She’d stepped back and let Gage hold me while I cried, but then she’d interrupted in the most perfect way.
“Carly.” Gage’s voice sounded so funny. He was trying to be grumpy, but when he looked at her he couldn’t hold onto it. Seeing my brother so pussy whipped was kinda hilarious. It hadn’t taken long for him to fall, either. Before I’d headed back to Sydney for the new school year, Gage and Carly were still dancing around each other. Literally. I’d witnessed a few explosive kisses, and they had more than their fair share of weird and slightly twisted conversations…now it seemed things were full steam ahead. My brother officially had a girlfriend.
“Oh come on! I wanted one. And it’s so cute. I’m keeping it.”
“It’s dangerous.”
“No, it’s not.” Carly dismissed his concern with a wave of her hand.
“It is. What happens if you fall out?”
“I land on my ass?”
“Exactly.”
“Glad we agree. Now, out of the way so I can take this baby for a test run.”
Stepping back, I tried to fade into the shadows. As fun as it was to watch, I hated feeling like I was an intruder on their moment.
“Can I at least check the knots before you get in this death trap? Please?”
“Thanks, sweetie.” Carly popped a kiss on his cheek before skirting around me. I heard her yelp as Gage swatted her ass as she passed by.
Now was my chance. “Hey Carly?”
“Yeah?”
“Would you be able help me with something?” I watched as Gage untied the knots holding the hammock in place and started to retie them. Obviously our job wasn’t up to his standard.
“Sure.”
“Inside?”
I didn’t miss the curious look Gage shot in my direction, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t talk to him about this. He wouldn’t understand. He’d probably just get pissed and want to punch someone. And that wouldn’t help. I mean, it might make me feel better for a second, but in the long run, it’d probably just make me feel worse.
Carly followed me inside to her tiny bathroom. Even though her place was small, it was cute and homey. It was the sort of sanctuary I wished I had. Maybe one day.
She flipped the toilet lid down and sat down. I was standing in front of her facing the mirror. I didn’t want to do this. My fingers were trembling and my heart felt like it was going to burst through my chest. Slowly I shut the door and flicked the lock. The last thing I needed right now was Gage barging through thinking he was some kind of white knight here to save the day. I caught the wave of fear as it passed over Carly’s face before she had a chance to bury it.
“What’s up, Holly?” Carly asked, her voice way too perky to be normal.
“Can you help me fix this?”
Closing my eyes, I grabbed hold of my long hair and lifted it up into a high pony tail. I heard Carly’s gasp, but kept my eyes squeezed shut. When I felt her hands wrap around the top of my arms, I forced myself to let go of the breath I’d been holding and open my eyes. Our gaze met in the mirror and instantly, I regretted my decision. Dropping my hands, I tried to hide my shame. Carly’s eyes were filled with tears and I could see the pity etched all over her face.
“Please don’t tell Gage.”
She swallowed deeply. I knew how much I was asking of her. “O-okay.” I actually couldn’t believe she’d agreed. I mean, obviously I’d hoped she’d keep my secret, but you could never be sure. “What happened? When this happened?”
Fuck! I was such a dumbass sometimes. I should have seen that one coming a mile away. Instead, it came out of nowhere and smacked me up the side of the head. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe.
Next thing I knew, I was sitting on the floor leaning against the vanity while Carly squatted in front of me holding a damp face washer against my forehead. It took me a few seconds to focus my blurry vision, but when I did, I could see how much I was hurting Carly. And I fucking hated myself for it.
“Talk to me, sweetheart. Please,” Carly begged and I couldn’t hold back.
“It happened a couple of days before…before the boys brought me home.”
“Who did it?”
“I don’t know. There were a few of them. They pushed me down the stairs, and when I landed at the bottom, I’d twisted my ankle. I thought they’d had their fun and would leave me be, so I stayed where I was. I didn’t want to get up. Not ’til they’d gone. Last time I’d gotten up too quickly, they came back and did it again. So I sat there. In the dirt. Holding my ankle. It hurt, but there wasn’t any real damage.”
“But they didn’t go away, did they?”
“No.”
“Holly…” Carly sunk to the floor beside me and wrapped me in her arms. My face was smooshed between her boobs but I didn’t care. Someone was holding me and not letting go. This was why a girl had a mum. This was her job. It was her job to teach me how I was supposed to apply makeup without looking like a drag queen. It was her job to hold me when some stupid boy broke my heart and promise me it’d all be okay. And it was her job to help me now. A proper mother would. Guess that was the problem right there. Mine wasn’t interested in being a mother. She was more interested in getting her lips plumped or the fat in her ass sucked out. “What did they do?” Carly’s voice cracked and instantly I felt like the world’s biggest bitch.
Pulling back from Carly, I wiped my nose on my arm. Not my finest moment, but I didn’t care.
“One of them sat on me. Another held my hands behind my back. They twisted my arms until I thought they were going to snap my elbow. They called me all sorts of names. Slut. Whore. Country Bumpkin. Told me to go fuck a sheep. Told me I’d fucked my brother.” I heard Carly gasp as she took hold of my hand. I don’t know if she was trying to help me get through it or if she was trying to anchor herself. It didn’t matter either way, really. She was here. I was safe. And after weeks of holding it in, I was telling someone. Even my shrink hadn’t gotten this much out of me.
I untangled my fingers from Carly’s and sat up, turning my back to her. As I held my breath, I grabbed the handful of hair and lifted it up. Tiny goose pimples broke out all over my skin as I waited for Carly to say something. Anything. It didn’t matter what she did or said, I just couldn’t stand the silence. It was suffocating.
Dropping the mop of curls back around my shoulders, I spun on the tiles to face her. I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. The toughest, most badass chick I knew had silent tears streaming down her face. Her heart was broken. I could see it. It was written all over her sad face. I’d broken her. I was an asshole.
After a long, silent moment, I swiped away her tears with my thumb. “Don’t cry, Carly. I’m okay.”
A thumping on the door shook us both out of our own heads. “What’s going on in there? Is everything okay?”
“J-Just a minute, Gage,” I stuttered.
If I thought I was in no shape to see my brother right now, then Carly needed an escape hatch. S
he was gutted. Slowly but surely, she found her feet and stood up, leaving me sitting on the tiles at her feet.
When she reached out her hand to help me up, somehow it felt like it was more. It meant more. I reached my feet, and after a brief hug, she stepped back, put her hands on her lips, pulled herself to her full height, and brushed away the leftover tears like they were an annoyance.
“How do I help? I’m guessing going and punching those bitches isn’t what you’re asking for?”
I had to laugh at that. That, right there, that was why Carly was the perfect fit for Gage and our family. She was loyal and fierce. A deadly combination. One I didn’t want to be on the wrong side of. Ever.
“I need a haircut.”
“Hair cut?”
“I need someone to fix this…somehow.”
“Okay?” I could tell she didn’t get the big deal. Truthfully, I didn’t either. I could have asked any of my brothers to take me into town to get my haircut and I doubt they’d deny me. The problem was, every time I thought about it, I couldn’t bring myself to ask. I think Jack accidentally seeing what they’d done to me pushed me over the limit. No longer was it an option to not get it fixed.
“I need the boys not to know. I need to get someone to tidy this up and not ask questions.”
“I…I can’t do questions, Carly. I just…I can’t.”
“Hey! Hey! It’s okay. We will get you a haircut. How about tomorrow after school I pick you up and we go get this taken care of?”
“Thank you.”
“Any time, sweetie. Any time. Come on, we better get back out there before your brother breaks down the door to see what’s going on. Or worse yet, he’s chucked out my hammock!”
By the time we stepped out of the bathroom, we were sporting matching red eyes and puffy cheeks. The tears had dried but the emotions hadn’t faded.
“About time!” Gage grumbled, prying himself off the lounge and stalking towards me, beer in hand. “You going to tell me why you didn’t go to school today?”
“No.”
It wasn’t that I was deliberately avoiding telling him why I didn’t go. The truth was, I wasn’t really sure. The moment that door opened to step onto the bus, I froze. I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to. Then seeing those girls and the way they were looking at me, suddenly I couldn’t breathe. It was just too much.
“Holly…”
“Gage,” Carly said, stepping beside him and wrapping herself around his waist. “Leave her be.”
“But…”
“Nope. No buts. Not today. Today, Holly gets a free pass. But tomorrow she’s going to school. You’re going to drive her. Then I’m going to pick her up and we’re going out for a bit.” The way Carly explained gave Gage no choice. She was so determined and so full of authority he didn’t dare even trying.
“Fine! I’m staying here tonight, though.” Gage pouted like a school girl who didn’t get her way.
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“And that’s my cue to get out of here. Carly, thank you. For everything.” I hoped she didn’t need me to elaborate. I couldn’t. Not while Gage stood there, analysing every move I made. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Are you right to get up to the house? I can drive you.”
“I’m fine. Besides, I could use the walk.”
“Okay then. Text me when you get there so I know you made it.”
With a quick promise, I hugged them both. Gage whispered into my ear that he loved me before I stepped out the door and headed for home.
With each step the knots in my stomach tightened. I had no idea what sort of shitstorm I was about to walk into. Gage had been tamed by his Mrs. Connor didn’t have one, so there was no one going to act like a buffer between me and his frustrations. Even though I knew I deserved them, it didn’t make facing them any more enticing. Briefly, the thought of sleeping in the shed with the horses sounded like a good idea, but I knew I’d have to front up sometime. Might as well get it over and done with.
It was dark out, with heavy storm clouds rumbling across the sky. Thankfully the moon overhead was letting off enough light that I was able to dodge the cow pats and the holes so deep I would likely trip and break my leg. When the house came into view, I wrapped my arms around me. I could already see a lone figure hunched over in a chair on the verandah. I wasn’t sure who it was, but if that was my welcoming party, they weren’t exactly looking friendly.
By the time I reached the front steps my heart was pounding, the blood roaring through my veins, leaving me feeling light-headed and off balance. When I looked up and recognised the eyes of a defeated man staring back at me, shock flooded my body. It wasn’t my angry brothers standing there at all. It was my dad.
Since I’d come back he’d been relatively silent about the whole thing. Scarily so. He hadn’t asked me how I was or what happened. He didn’t really say anything. Not of substance, anyway. It wasn’t like he was ignoring me though. He’d ask me to pass the milk or if I wanted anything for dinner, but he didn’t ask the hard questions either. It was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I didn’t have any answers that I could share with him. And a curse because I wasn’t really sure if he even cared. I didn’t know what he cared about these days. Certainly not the farm.
“Hi Dad!” I called out as chirpily as I could muster.
“Holly. Come sit.” It wasn’t an invitation I could turn down.
Beyond the screen door I could hear Beau and Connor swearing and arguing. They must have found football on the television, as they argued about whose goal was better. I’d never understood football. Just a bunch of thugs chasing a ball around a field trying to hurt the other. Thankfully, I’d never needed to.
Dropping into the creaky wicker chair next to Dad, I tucked my feet up under my ass and waited. I had no idea what was coming and it was scaring the crap out of me.
“Where you been, Princess?”
“Carly’s.”
“All day?”
“No.”
“Princess, why didn’t you go to school?”
“I…I…”
He reached over and took hold of my hand. His large calloused fingers wrapped around mine and his warm breath fluttered over my cheeks. When I looked up into his eyes, I realised Dad was stone cold sober. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d had a conversation that he’d actually remember the next day. Where that fact alone should have brought me comfort, instead it did the opposite. I was more worried than ever.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. You’ll go tomorrow. I’ll take you. What time do you need to be there?”
Holy. Shit. He was letting me off the hook for not going to school. I was ready to have my ass handed to me, but somehow, and I’ll never understand how, I’d gotten away with it. I remember when Beau used to get caught wagging. He’d be grounded and on manure duty for a month. Good thing Mum and Dad never caught on to how much he wagged. He’d never leave the yard.
“I need to be there just before nine.” I knew I already had offers but I couldn’t say no to Dad. Not when I could barely remember the last time he’d gone out of his way to help me.
“Can you be ready to go by eight?”
Eight was early but I wasn’t in a position to say no. “Sounds good.”
“I’ll meet you here at eight.” He let go of my hand and moved away. The conversation was obviously over. Not wanting to push my luck, I climbed out of the chair and ducked inside. All I wanted right now was a shower and some sleep. Today had been hard. But I had a feeling tomorrow would be even harder.
Chapter Four
Jack
I sat on the fence, stuffing my face with the scones I’d picked up and washing them down with a bottle of Coke while I waited for Holly to arrive. It wasn’t exactly the breakfast of champions, but it was better than nothing. After another night in the back of the ute, this time parked in the shed out of the rain, I’d ducked inside before dawn to steal a shower and some clean clothes. The m
oment I stepped through the door though, I knew something was wrong. Very wrong. Adriana, the old lady who’d been cleaning our house for as long as I could remember, wasn’t due in ’til tomorrow, yet the whole place smelt of lemon. The usual pile of newspapers that Dad disregarded on the end table was gone. The throw cushions on the couch were plumped and arranged in some kind of weird, colourful pattern. Even the throw rug was folded neatly. It was like entering the twilight zone.
“Jack? Is that you, sweetheart?” a voice called out. It sounded like my mother’s voice but it wasn’t something she’d say. Ever.
Yet when I rounded the corner, my jaw hit the ground. There was Mum, wearing a red and white checked apron, her hair messy as she flipped pieces of delicious bacon in the pan. What was even more astounding was my dad was sitting at the kitchen bench reading the paper and sipping his coffee. It was almost…almost normal. Like a truce had been declared. I didn’t know whether to believe it, or rip off their masks and demand they stop acting stupid.
“Honey,” Mum began as she poured eggs into another pan. “Where’d you sleep last night? I went to wake you and your bed was empty. I know you’re not a child anymore, but Jack, you need to be careful. Girls around here will try to trap you…”
“I know! I know!” I added quickly, needing this conversation to end. The last thing I wanted to do after another fitful night was have the birds and the bees chat with my mother.
I was tired and grumpy. My back ached and I was confused as hell as to what was going on. Where was all the fighting and arguing and the hateful words being spewed back and forth? That was normal around here. This, well, this frankly, it was terrifying.
“I slept in the back of my ute. Again. I’ve spent three nights in the past week out there. In fact, I probably spend more nights there than I do in this damn house.”
Meet The McIntyres - The Complete Series Page 50