by J. S. Scott
A chill ran up my spine, and I’d learned to listen to my instincts. I turned around to run out of the kitchen, but I wasn’t fast enough.
Two enormous bodies dressed in black tripped me up, and I ended up on the floor completely winded.
I rose up quickly, trying to save my ass.
Neither of them said a word, but one of the men reached for my arm, and he snagged it as I went flying by him. The other one pulled out a switchblade that was horrifyingly large.
“Please, don’t…” I begged as he lifted his arm. I was only eighteen. I wasn’t ready to die. I’d worked too damn hard to stay alive so I could have a better life.
I was unable to speak as the blade sliced through me over and over again.
Pain.
More pain.
Then agony.
Horror.
And finally, the blessed relief of blacking out.
Before I closed my eyes, I told myself I’d survive.
I’ll make it. I just have to find the strength to keep trying.
Turns out, I was right. I did make it through. But I didn’t know the price I’d pay later when my dreams were completely destroyed.
CHAPTER 27
Kenzie
THE PRESENT…
I woke up screaming, and completely unaware of where I was for a few minutes after I’d forced myself to shut the hell up.
Shivering from the aftereffects of my nightmare about when I’d been attacked, I pulled the blanket over my body, trying to warm myself again.
It had been a long time since I’d had that particular nightmare, but it caused the same emotional overflow that I’d always had whenever the horrific dream had popped up in my sleep.
“I’m okay,” I panted. “I’m safe. It was just a dream.”
“Kenzie!” Dane bellowed as he entered the bedroom.
“I’m here. I’m fine,” I told him, knowing he’d probably heard me scream. Paige had once told me that our neighbors could hear me when I had one of my nightmares.
“What happened?” he asked as he sat on the side of the bed and turned on the lamp.
I squinted, but was grateful not to be in complete darkness. “Just a nightmare,” I answered, trying to force myself to forget the horrific images of my near death experience.
Dane was dressed in a pair of black pajama bottoms, and nothing else. There was nothing more I wanted to do except wrap my arms around that hot body and find whatever comfort I could.
I suddenly remembered what had happened between Dane and I the night before.
God, I wished his words had been true. I wished he really wanted me, because I sure as hell wanted him.
“What were you dreaming about?” he asked gruffly as he slipped underneath the covers, forcing me to move over.
His arms came around me, and I was immediately warmed. He threw off body heat so tempting that I burrowed into his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck. “The attack,” I admitted. “I have nightmares about it occasionally.”
“Jesus, Kenzie. I wish I had been there for you,” he said, his arms tightening around me protectively.
Warm and safe, I finally relaxed into Dane’s hold, grateful that I had him here with me right now. “I think you were probably busy recovering from the plane crash.”
It was funny how Dane and I had so many parallel experiences. Judging by the date of his accident, I was pretty sure we’d been in the hospital at the same time. But my recovery hadn’t taken nearly as long as his.
“I was,” he agreed. “But I still wish you hadn’t been all alone.”
“Me, too,” I told him.
It would have been nice to have somebody special in my life, but I was convinced I was cursed when it came to men and my love life. I’d had one brief, adolescent relationship in high school that hadn’t ended well for me. And after that, I’d never trusted any guy enough to want to start anything more than a casual acquaintance.
“Do you want me to stay with you?” he asked, not sounding at all certain that he wanted to go.
“Yes, please,” I answered instantly.
Dane was here, and I wanted him to stay here so I didn’t have to think about my dream.
“Tell me about it,” he insisted.
“It’s always the same,” I explained as I laid my head on his shoulder. “I remember coming home, and then being attacked. I was hoping the dreams would be less terrifying by now, but all I can remember is that terrible feeling that I was going to die before I had a chance to live.”
“I felt the same way,” he commented. “When we had the plane crash. I knew we were going down, and I wasn’t sure if anybody could live through that kind of accident.”
“You did,” I reminded him, my hand automatically running down his chest and to his ripped abdomen. I wanted to feel him, and assure myself he was okay.
His fear had to have been enormous when he discovered his dad’s jet was going to crash, and I was grateful that he’d made it out.
“What was it like for you when you woke up and realized you were still alive?” Dane asked.
“It was so painful that I can’t remember thinking much of anything,” I confessed.
“Me, either,” he confessed.
My heart clenched at the thought of Dane waking up after he’d been burnt so badly. The burns on his face couldn’t have been too bad. Regardless of what Dane thought, his chest and abdomen bore a lot more burn scars.
“Were you scared?” I questioned curiously.
“Fucking terrified,” he confirmed.
“Me, too. I guess I never realized just how alone I was until there was nobody in the hospital for me to talk to.”
“No friends? Hell, at least I had my brothers, even though my dad was gone.”
“Nobody,” I informed him. “I was a loner. I never let anybody get close to me. It was the only way I could protect myself.”
He stroked my hair in a comforting motion as he replied, “You’re not alone anymore, baby.”
“I know. And it scares me.”
“Don’t be afraid of me,” he requested.
“I’m not. Never have been. Yes, you pissed me off in the beginning, but somehow I knew you’d never intentionally hurt me. I wasn’t feeling that craziness that people have when they’re dangerous.”
“Instinct?” he questioned.
“Gut instinct,” I confirmed. “I developed a good one when I was young. I should have listened to it when I got to California. But I needed a place to sleep, and I didn’t want to waste any of the funds I had.”
“So you moved into a dump,” he concluded.
“Yes. My instincts were screaming, but I wasn’t listening. I wanted to succeed too much.”
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have a better life. I just wished you’d had more money. But I’m starting to understand how desperate you were.”
“After I paid for my first month in my crappy apartment, I only had fifty dollars to my name.”
“Christ! You can’t live on that.”
“I had no choice. It’s always been sink or swim for me, so I was trying to learn how to navigate in a very big pond.”
“You’re so fucking brave that I feel like a coward. I took my money and moved somewhere that nobody could hurt me. I had the funds, and I never even appreciated it.”
“It’s not your fault,” I pointed out. “You came from a rich, healthy family. I wish it could be that way for everybody, but it’s not. I think if I’d had the money, I would have wanted to escape and lick my wounds for a while. I might have done the exact same thing you did.”
“I doubt it,” Dane answered in a raspy voice. “You fight for what you want. I was born into it.”
“Stop doing that,” I demanded. “I hate it when you put yourself and your actions down.
You’re enormously talented, both with your art and the skills you’ve learned to evaluate the risk and rewards of investments. You didn’t have to do anything, Dane, but you did. You have the money to just seek whatever pleasure you want, but you chose to become a better, smarter person.”
“I would have been bored if I’d just done nothing with my time.”
“Because of who you are,” I explained. “You want to stay busy and never stop caring about being productive, even when you don’t have to.”
“Why do you care about what I think about myself?”
“I just…do.” It wasn’t a very good reason, but I couldn’t really tell him how much I cared.
Unconsciously, I started to move my hand that was still on his abdomen, a sign of how much more I wanted from Dane.
“Maybe I should go,” he said.
“Why?”
“Because if you keep touching me, I’m not sure that I can keep myself from pinning you to this damn bed, and fucking you until you’re screaming my name.”
I didn’t stop touching him. In fact, I just explored even more. “Don’t go,” I requested.
I couldn’t bear it if he left me again. Maybe I’d once pushed him away, but I knew I couldn’t do it anymore.
I didn’t want to do it again.
Paige had been right. I needed to start letting people into my life. I’d always be cautious, but I was tired of not letting Dane in. He meant too much. He was too big of a temptation.
Somehow, I was going to have to learn to let go of my fears when the situation was warranted. And Dane was definitely somebody I couldn’t shut out anymore.
Problem was, I’d blown my chances to be closer to him.
I’d have to be the one to convince him that I was sincere.
Finding out that a woman had hurt him practically made my damn heart bleed. He hadn’t deserved what she’d done, but I wanted to be the one to show him just how much he had to offer.
I wanted to be the only one.
Even if the relationship didn’t last, I knew he’d never intentionally hurt me.
I’d nearly died eight years ago, but I’d never really learned how to live.
Not yet.
But I wanted to.
I moved my hand down his body slowly, taking my time to get to what I wanted.
Dane was rock-hard and ready as I finally pushed my way into his pajama bottoms and wrapped my fingers around his cock. “God, I want you inside me, Dane. So badly that it hurts.”
He grabbed my arm, ready to attempt to stop me. But I wasn’t giving in.
“Are you still drunk?” he rasped.
“I was never so drunk that I didn’t know what I wanted. I knew what I was asking for last night.”
“Don’t do this to me, Kenzie. I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.”
“Don’t stop,” I suggested as I shook off his hold. “I want to be close to you, Dane. As close as we can get.”
“Thank fuck!” he answered. “Don’t change your mind.”
I felt guilty about what had happened between us before, but I knew I wasn’t about to run again. I wanted to see what it felt like to be with the incredible male who was currently in my bed. I couldn’t ignore the way desire gnawed at me every single time I saw him.
I rose up and swung a leg over his body until I straddled him. I hated taking my hand away when I had everything I wanted in my grasp, but it was the only way I was going to get what I needed.
I pulled the nightgown I was wearing over my head and tossed it on the floor.
With anyone else, I wouldn’t be so bold. I couldn’t even imagine wanting anybody else. But I wanted to show him just how serious I was, and that I wasn’t leaving until we’d hit a homerun or two. Maybe three.
“Fuck! You’re so beautiful that it kills me to even look at you,” Dane rasped. “I’ve wanted to see you like this almost from the day we met. I wanted to see that look on your face that said you wanted me as much as I want you.”
His hands went to my breasts, pinching each nipple, and sending my body into a roaring blaze of pure heat.
I sighed as his palms cupped my breasts. “I’ve wanted it to,” I confessed. “I was just too afraid of getting hurt.”
“I’d never fucking hurt you, Kenzie. I’d die to protect you without a second thought.”
“I know,” I told him, knowing it was the truth. “I’m not afraid anymore.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re worth taking a chance on,” I said with a moan.
I squealed in surprise as he flipped my body over, and I landed flat on my back.
“Then I’m going to make sure I make it worth your risk,” he growled, his big body looming over mine.
I looked at him, the moment stretching out like an eternity. His face was solemn, but the mischief in his eyes made my heart race. Dane was going to make it worth it.
I had no doubts about that.
CHAPTER 28
Kenzie
SIX YEARS AGO…
All I knew was that her name was Paige, and that she was at Harvard studying law. Other than those facts, I knew nothing about the woman I was about to meet.
Well, I did know one more thing: she needed a roommate.
Maybe this one will work out better. She’s a student, so she’s not likely to skip rent.
I’d already had several roommates who had left me stuck with the rent, and the last one had nearly left me homeless. I had to find a place to live, and I needed it quickly. I was already evicted from my former apartment because I couldn’t pay both mine and my roommate’s part of the rent.
I knocked on the door. The neighborhood was okay, better than my current place. The building was showing its age, but the exterior was well maintained.
All I wanted was a safe place to live, and a roommate who I could trust to keep making the rent on a regular basis.
“Hi! Are you Kenzie?” a pleasant female asked excitedly.
I nodded, afraid to hope that this woman would be the person I could finally trust. “I am.”
She pulled me through the door, and I looked around the apartment. According to Paige, it was a two bedroom, but we’d have to share a bathroom. The space was neat, but the furniture was old, probably thrift store purchased. I had no problem with that since Goodwill was practically my go-to interior designer.
Maybe I’d found somebody like me.
“Sorry about the sad décor,” she said. “Since I’m at Harvard, I can’t afford nice stuff.”
She showed me around the small apartment, and I was thrilled with what I saw. She even had a bed in her spare room, and I was hoping she wouldn’t mind if I used it.
I had a bed, but it had seen better days, so I asked her if I’d have to get furniture.
“No. You can use mine, unless you want something better. If you do, I won’t take offense.”
“I don’t,” I said to her. “My stuff is even worse than yours.”
“Great. Then maybe we can firm up the deal so I don’t have to be here alone anymore.”
I sighed. “To be honest, I’m pretty poor, but I always make my rent.”
Paige smiled. “I guess we have a lot in common then.”
Even though I knew she was probably super smart, I still liked her. Her openness put me at ease, and I got the sense that she and I could be friends.
What if she ditches me and her rent like my old roommates?
Yeah, I knew not everybody was like that, but I hadn’t had the best of luck with any of my former roommates.
I’ll make it. I just have to find the strength to keep trying.
At the moment, I had no other options, so I was going to have to hope things would work out.
I held out my hand. “You have a deal. I’ll write you a check.”
CHAPTER 29
Kenzie
THE PRESENT…
I’d never wanted anything as much as I wanted Dane Walker, and even though it scared the hell out of me, the way I felt about him left no more room for caution.
If I was ever going to trust a man, it was going to be him. Nobody else had ever tempted me to leave my cocoon of self-preservation. But the man who was looking intently down on me at the moment had completely shattered any illusion of being safe.
I had to let him in, and to hell with the consequences.
I lifted my hand to stroke the stubble on his jaw. “I’m not very experienced,” I warned him. “Only once in high school, and it wasn’t very pleasant.”
“I’ll make it more than pleasant,” he said gruffly. “I want you to come so hard you never want another man.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I haven’t wanted anybody. Not really. I never knew what it was like to need someone this badly.”
“It’s more than mutual, baby,” he replied, his dark eyes swirling with emotion as he lowered his head and kissed me.
His forceful embrace was overwhelming, and I had to hang on for the ride.
He plundered.
He explored.
And he definitely conquered me from the moment I opened completely beneath his powerful assault on my senses.
Desperate for more, I wrapped my legs around his flannel-clad hips, straining for the connection I had to have.
He released my mouth, and I tilted my head back as he attacked the sensitive skin on my neck.
“Dane,” I moaned, unable to keep the pleasure from consuming me.
“Keep saying my name,” he growled against my skin. “I want you to know exactly who’s making you come.”
Heat flooded between my thighs, drenching my panties.
I loved his dirty talk, and the intimacy that was flowing between us.
His bare chest moved against mine, turning my nipples into pebbles as they abraded against his red-hot skin.
My short nails dug into his neck, a silent plea for him to give me what I needed.