by Cody Lumiére
Elliot seemed pretty impressed with the church; I told him it would be like living in a giant house. Much to my surprise Elliot turned out to be a very sharp boy and he didn’t seem to mind the cleaning duties I assigned to him, especially when I said he’d receive 10 dollars a week in exchange. I’m a pretty generous guy.
9/30/1992
Elliot has adjusted to his new home rather well I’d say. Everything around the church has been pretty typical though money has been getting a little tight; people just aren’t coming in like they used to. I was thinking that I could build a small private school to help keep us afloat but that would be an awful lot of work and I’m not sure the property is big enough.
I took Elliot to the library the other day and he absolutely loved it. It’s very close to the church too so I don’t mind if he walks there by himself which is quite convenient for me if I want some alone time. He has gone to the library every day since our first visit; I’m actually pretty surprised by his thirst for knowledge though I suspect he mostly reads their comics. Elliot reminds me a lot of myself at his age, a bit of a loner, kind, warmhearted and an avid reader.
11/21/1992
I am really not keeping up with this journal like I originally planned. Oh well, writing was never really a strong suit of mine. Things have been alright around the church, we thankfully had a few more catholic families’ move into town and they seem like they are regular church goers. Donations have been a bit up lately which has been a load off of my mind but then again, people usually start coming to church more around the holidays.
Elliot has been doing well in school, such a good boy. Perhaps it’s from all the time he spends at the library… I’ve never had to help him with his homework even once. I do regret not being able to be more fatherly towards him; many of our conversations are pretty awkward. It’s really not my fault though; I didn’t have much of a relationship with my own father… I feel that’s why it’s hard for me.
I’ve been having a reoccurring dream now for the past week. In it I am lost and as I try to find my way, things start to become more and more dim, as if day were growing into night but when I look around I can’t see the source of the light. There is no sun above me and the sky is always a light gray which grows darker as time passes. It seems like it picks up after the last dream somehow… the dimming effect that is… though I don’t know why that would be. It surely seems like some sort of sign but I can’t seem to figure it out. My prayers have yet to yield any answers.
12/25/1992
I finished up the last Christmas mass a few hours ago and I am rather saddened by the turnout. Usually Christmas is the most packed the church gets with more donations than we can handle but this year we only had about 60% of the usual attendance. If this is some kind of test from God then I am at a loss of what I should do. I know I shouldn’t focus too much on money but if the budget gets much tighter then I am not sure how this church can continue to exist.
I am still having that reoccurring dream though it has evolved a bit. The scene continues to grow darker and darker perhaps signifying dark times to come. At some point I began to hear a voice whispering to me from a place I could not see. The voice told me to go deeper into the darkness but I always refuse as I am a man of the light and of God. It has definitely gotten more persuasive over time. It reminds me of my days at the seminary. I always had a peculiar interest in demons… in fact, I wanted to become an exorcist when I first started my training though I was often teased over this matter. My teacher was pretty concerned about my willingness to learn about demonic forces and urged me to pray to God for help to let go of such things.
I figured it’s best to just keep praying for answers, surely things would work out.
01/27/1993
About a month has passed since my last entry; I really ought to try to write these more often… they are surprisingly therapeutic. I decided to hold a pot luck fundraiser with a little raffle to help get money flowing into the church again. Elliot has been very helpful with preparations though I feel a bit bad for being so strict with him. It always seems like when I try to spend time with him I revert to the stern demeanor that my own father always displayed growing up. It seems like he spends most of his days off of school at the library, I guess I can’t really blame him. At least the church is a better place to live than that boy’s home.
The fundraiser turnout was pretty good all things considered. We raised 3,000 dollars which should be plenty to fill in the gaps for at least a few months. I swear, inflation is a ridiculous thing… we grow dependent on big business, the larger a company grows the more it costs to run and then everyone wonders why things slowly get more expensive. People would rather point fingers than look at themselves I guess… maybe I can sneak this information into my next sermon. Anyways, I should definitely hold more fundraisers to help cover the bills.
02/14/1993
The fundraiser money is already gone much to my displeasure. Long story short, the church had some plumbing issues which became very expensive. Back to square one… I must find a way to pull in more consistent income. I would hold another fundraiser but it’s still too soon, I would look weak if I kept prying for more money.
02/15/1993
I was going through some old things in attic when I stumbled across an old grimoire that I had acquired back when I was still in training. I became very suspicious when everyone at the seminary was so disapproving of demons that I could hardly help myself from digging a bit deeper. The book contained lists of demons that could be summoned for various purposes and laid out their attributes and areas of life that they held influence in. I had completely forgotten about this thing. After looking through it a while I noticed that one of the spirits was said to have great influence over a person’s wealth. It was tempting but I put the book back in the old chest that I had found it in.
02/21/1993
I keep thinking about that old grimoire. I know I shouldn’t mess with such things but with all my praying for financial help, it would seem as if it was the answer. All the warnings I received about interacting with demons was why I even acquired such a book. The way in which I obtained it was rather miraculous as well. Me and a few other trainee’s at the seminary opted to go out on a mission to the Middle East. While there, I met a most curious man out in the market place… he wore an all red robe that went down to his feet and was completely blind. Why a blind man was operating a business in a busy market place was beyond me but as I drew closer to his table, he singled me out… in the crowd of people no less. This peaked my curiosity and when I went over to him he told me that he had what I was looking for. I stood staring in disbelief as he bent down and grabbed an old book from underneath a pile of beautifully colored garments.
He then handed me the book and said that I was meant to have it and he wouldn’t charge. I wasn’t about to turn down a free gift, let alone under those circumstances so I took it. The cover was decorated with strange symbols that I had never seen before and as soon as I opened the book I knew I had to keep this hidden from everyone. While I believed there was some merit to everyone’s distaste for demons, it only made me think there was more power in it. I spent a good deal of time reading it though I never once tried to summon anything, after all… I was still in basic training. I eventually stashed it away and forgot about it… until now.
The book was now begging to be used and I was finding it hard to resist. I was now a priest, a beacon of light for the world. With my many years of experience I could surely handle working with one demon… just the one… surely. I decided to study the summoning ritual for a while and if I was still uncertain of my ability, then I would put it away and never touch it again.
02/28/1993
It’s been about a week, or no… It’s been exactly a week since I started studying the summoning ritual. I have to say that it doesn’t seem very difficult; I’d have to create a temple space and obtain certain tools and equipment with exact specifications before I could start. Luckily,
I fancied myself a bit of a handyman so I could probably finish the preparations in a week or two. I need to construct a small altar, obtain a wand, dagger, some specific incenses and candles. The rest was just decorating everything with certain symbols. I had some old tribal masks that I purchased at a garage sale a couple years back and I thought those would make for a nice finishing touch, to add more atmosphere. I was actually a little excited… OK… very excited for this. I did feel guilty though, guilty for not feeling guilty but hey, a guy like me needs a little excitement once in a while.
Other than my new hobby, things are about the same as they ever are. Elliot has further distanced himself from me, presumably from my being too stern. I cannot think of anything else to write for the time being.
03/23/1993
I have successfully turned the church basement into a ritual chamber. I have to say, I am rather proud of how it turned out and my old tribal masks were a very nice touch. Looking at the symbols I have drawn into my new altar and magical tools, I can feel their power. The entity that I have chosen to contact must be summoned around 1 in the morning to maximize success. I have decided to do my ritual on Saturday night.
03/26/1993
I attempted the ritual yesterday afternoon while Elliot was at the library with his friends. Something certainly happened in response to my efforts but I couldn’t seem to make contact with the entity in question and a rather potent thunderstorm sprang up right at the climax of my ritual which was interesting to say the least. I feel strange today, that’s about all I can say. I will continue to study the ritual and try again next Saturday night.
04/02/1993
I successfully met the entity I wished to summon. It was by far the strangest experience that I have ever had. Rather than appearing in the incense smoke as the ritual described, it had manifested behind me. It gave me so much knowledge that I couldn’t begin to describe. I asked it if it would help me with my financial troubles and it responded by saying “It is so. You need only to give me some of your energy.” To which I gleefully agreed. I am very surprised by how polite and helpful the spirit was, not anything like I would have thought a demon should be. There did seem to be a catch to our little deal though… and that was that I had to continue doing the ritual at least once a week. I don’t quite understand why but I guess that it is for the energy it wants. Seems like a fair enough exchange.
Elliot has been acting strangely for about a week now but he won’t tell me what’s bothering him. I noticed that he had suddenly stopped going to the library with his little girlfriend… I wonder what that’s all about.
04/28/1993
It’s been several weeks since I first summoned the demon and at first I wasn’t quite sure when I would get my result. Everything seemed the same, just a different feeling in the air really… and then after about a week we had a 50% percent increase in attendance at mass and an even larger increase in donations. I could hardly believe my eyes; I thought maybe I’d randomly find some kind of treasure or something but the extra money was coming from a pretty mundane source. I can’t say that I am disappointed, just a bit surprised. I have also continued the ritual every week to which I am given even more knowledge from the figure that stands behind me; it seems to possess a great wisdom.
Elliot is still acting strange and I fear he has too much free time on his hands since he has stopped going to the library. I noticed him spying on me the other day… it should be easy enough to hide my rituals from him… after all he is just a child.
05/01/1993
It’s strange… sometimes the entity I am working with comes to me uninvited. In those instances I feel like I must be especially respectful since I do not have my ritual to protect me. I was under the impression that I had to do the ritual for it to appear… makes me wonder about the actual nature of the spirits contacted through that old book. Other than that, I don’t think there has been anything else to report. The church has been bringing in more money than it has in a long time.
05/08/1993
For a few nights now I have been waking up in a full panic, from a dream I can’t quite recall. I am unsure of the cause but the sleep deprivation is already taking its toll on me.
05/18/1993
I continue to wake up unexpectedly in the middle of the night. Today I woke up with quite a fever too. Elliot has been nice enough to take care of things until I get better but there was definitely something off about the whole thing. I must have been sleep walking as I woke up sitting on the railing of the upstairs balcony looking over the church… just sitting there by myself, I guess Elliot was off doing something else but it gave me quite a scare. I really hope that doesn’t happen again.
05/19/1993
Today my fever broke just as suddenly as it began and I feel great. I am holding a little banquet to help bring in more donations now that I have the means to do so. It should be a good time; it’s been a while since I’ve really let myself unwind.
05/24/1993
I ended up drinking way too much last night; it was entertaining but I was concerned that I couldn’t remember getting into bed… and my keys were mysteriously missing from their usual home on my bedside table. I found them in the basement door. I couldn’t remember doing anything near the basement after I started drinking and Elliot didn’t seem to know what happened either. I guess I’m just getting too old to drink like I used to.
06/20/1993
Things have been pretty quiet around the church the past month or so. I am really happy about all the money the church is bringing in; there’s already enough overflow to cover a whole year of expenses. I have no reason not to keep doing the ritual at this point.
08/17/1993
I am growing a bit concerned about the repercussions of my weekly ritual. There is a definite euphoria that has manifested in me since I started but I’ve also been growing more and more tired and I’m wondering if it’s from the demon. I am unsure of how it takes more energy than I give it in ritual but it seems to come around more and more often… uninvited. While concerning I am very pleased with the improved income, I guess I’ll just have to do what’s necessary to provide for the church… and for Elliot.
10/11/1993
I feel like I am aging faster these days, perhaps it’s normal, perhaps not. I should keep trying to make these small records of my experiences but I find myself very unmotivated to do so… but if something were to happen to me, they could prove useful.
01/01/1994
The years feel like they are just flying by anymore, I hardly know where the time has gone. This past year has been very productive for me. I finally acquired the means to do some remodeling around the church. Elliot has continued to do very well in school, I see him having a bright future. I’ve tried talking to him about eventually joining a seminary and following in my footsteps but he doesn’t seem very interested.
The church has gained 45 new members in the past 6 months alone, most of which are regulars and I am very pleased. It seems like the donations keep increasing, slowly but surely I have even received some stray checks in the mail. Life is good.
12/26/1994
I can scarcely remember the past year but Christmas has come and gone already. Everything has been going pretty smoothly for the church but I seem to be losing chunks of time here and there. Even the Christmas masses held yesterday seem like some sort of dream and I am beginning to grow concerned. I have meant to write these experiences down for quite some time but somehow keep forgetting; better late than never I guess.
I contacted Father John in the next town over about the things I’ve been experiencing and he seemed pretty concerned, and suggested that it may be possession. I denied anything of the sort, after all… I couldn’t tell him I have been working with demons… I have a reputation to uphold.
12/26/1995
Another year and I’ve only now gotten around to writing down an account of my experiences; however, as I write this I can’t seem to think of anything worth documenting.
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06/11/1996
It was a beautiful day today. There was nothing but rain. I have grown quite fond of the rain.
11/16/1996
I’ve been having the strangest thing happen. I wake up around 3am and I’m just standing at the foot of my bed looking down… at myself in bed, but it’s not me.
3/02/1997
I rarely feel like myself anymore. Every time I realize this I manage to forget again. It’s like… my life has become one big blur, fog everywhere I look. Life is like a bad dream that I can’t wake up from but the church has been doing the best it ever has. I don’t understand.
05/12/1998
Something must be done before I forget again. I have to break my contract with the darkness before it’s too late. Elliot seems to know, I don’t know how but I can see it in his eyes. I’m glad he has the sense to stay away from me.
06/17/1998
I am unsure of what I was talking about in my previous entries, I feel great. I think I may have been sleep walking or something. Elliot will be starting high school this fall; I am so proud of him. The two of us still don’t seem to get along but I am hopeful that one day, I’ll figure out this father thing… I think I just made a priest joke. Other than that… everything is well.
10/19/1998
Elliot has been even more distant since starting high school… I guess he’s just at that age. His little friend… uh I am not so great with names but the red head, she started coming around again since school started. I am not sure if they are dating but it may account for some of Elliot’s strange behavior. Halloween is coming up; I do not look forward to all the raggedy little children coming up to the church demanding candy. Whoever created Halloween should be shot.
Actually, I think it came from a pagan… witch type holiday… no wonder I don’t like it. Anyways, I really want to keep up with this journal, I know I’ve said it many times before but this time I really mean it!