The crowds began to thin out. Many were coming back to the house, but those who weren’t took their leave of the family and drove away. Her mother, Annie and James came over to Kate.
‘I’m walking back to the house,’ her mother said. ‘Do you want to go with James in the car?’
‘No, I’ll come with you, Mum.’ It was only about fifteen minutes’ walk from the crematorium, and it would be good to have a short time to themselves before facing everyone again.
‘I’ll come with you as well,’ Annie told them. ‘Everything’s ready back at the house. The men can look after everyone until we arrive.’
They walked through the gates and up the road, each one lost in the sad realization that the man they loved would not be waiting for them with his usual ready smile. It was going to be hard to live without him.
‘That went well,’ Kate said, wanting to break the silence.
‘Yes.’ Rose walked slowly, obviously not eager to reach their home. ‘It was good of everyone to come.’
Annie slipped her arm through Rose’s. ‘What are your plans, Rosie?’ she asked. ‘You’re welcome to come and live with Reid and me, or just stay for a while if you want to.’
‘That’s kind of you, Annie, but Bill built that house for me and the only way I’m going to leave it is feet first.’
Kate’s heart leapt in alarm to hear her mother talk of dying. She dredged up a falsely bright smile. ‘That’s all right, then, because you’ve got at least another thirty years.’
As soon as the words were out of her mouth she knew she’d said the wrong thing. The look of pain in her mother’s eyes was quickly controlled, but Kate had seen it. The thought of spending so long without her husband was like purgatory to her mother. She changed the subject quickly. ‘Who were the elderly couple with Mr Perkins?’
‘His parents.’
‘Oh, it was nice of them to come.’
‘Yes, it was. I’m glad to see they’ve done so well for themselves.’
Kate knew her mother was just making polite conversation. They had now reached the house and braced themselves to face the next few hours.
At last the house was empty except for Annie and her mother. Kate had found the funeral an ordeal, but her mother’s tight control had made her fight to keep the sobs at bay. Silent tears had trickled down her face; she hadn’t been able to stop these, and nor had Annie. She knew that Annie had first met Bill when she’d been a young child and had loved him dearly.
‘I’m going to have a rest.’ Rose stood up. The front she had erected to get her through this day was starting to disintegrate. ‘I won’t want any dinner, Annie.’
‘All right, Rose.’
Kate and Annie watched her leave the kitchen and listened to her slow steps on the stairs.
‘I’m worried about her,’ Kate told Annie.
‘So am I, but she’s very strong-willed, and she’ll eventually recover.’ Annie began to wash the cups and glasses. ‘I just wish she wouldn’t keep it all bottled up inside.’
‘But that’s the way she is, she’s never been demonstrative.’ Kate picked up the tea towel and started to dry the dishes, packing them away as she went.
‘That’s the result of growing up in the slums, where every day was a struggle.’ A brief smile touched Annie’s face. ‘You should have seen her then.’
‘But you grew up there as well,’ Kate pointed out, ‘and you don’t keep your feelings hidden.’
‘Ah, but you must remember, your mum was the eldest in a large family and she took on the responsibility for us. Our mum, Marj, was always too worn out having babies to be able to look after us properly. I was very poorly, and Rosie used to see that I had some treats and a bit of decent food whenever she could get it. She looked after me and protected me from the worst of the squalor and violence.’
‘Violence?’ Kate was shocked.
‘Oh, yes, my dad was a brutal man and he didn’t like Rose because she wasn’t his child. She was the only one with the courage to stand up to him, and if she hadn’t we would have ended up in the workhouse. She took some beatings from him.’
‘I didn’t know that,’ Kate whispered.
‘You wouldn’t, she never talks about those days. If it hadn’t been for Rosie, I wouldn’t be here today, and it was Bill’s great unselfish love for Rose and all of us that made it possible for us to leave that disgusting place.’
‘He was a wonderful man.’ Kate’s eyes misted again.
‘He was.’ Annie’s smile was sad. ‘And he’ll never die while we hold our love for him in our hearts.’
Her aunt was absolutely right and a little of the pain lifted. ‘That’s a lovely thought.’ Kate hugged her in gratitude. Annie was almost as wise as her mother, but then they had both lived extraordinary lives. And now the funeral was over they must all start to get back to normal – or as normal as possible without her father. He would have wanted that. ‘Is it just going to be us for dinner,’ Kate asked her, ‘or is anyone else coming back?’
‘No, it’s been a difficult day and we thought it would be better if Rose had a quiet evening. Sam and his family are staying with James tonight; Charlie and Madge are next door with Will and Dora.’
Annie glanced around the kitchen. ‘What are we going to do about dinner?’
Kate was about to say that scrambled eggs on toast would do her when someone knocked on the front door. She went to see who it was and found Jon standing on the doorstep with his arms full of packages. There was a wonderful aroma coming from them and she realized that she hadn’t had anything to eat all day.
‘I thought you might not feel like cooking tonight, so I’ve brought you fish and chips.’ He held them out to her.
‘Oh, thank you.’ She stepped aside. ‘Please come in.’
‘Jon’s brought us fish and chips,’ Kate told Annie when they walked into the kitchen.
‘That’s so thoughtful of you.’ Annie took the packets from him. ‘My goodness, there’s a lot here. You must stay and help us eat it.’
‘I won’t if you’d rather be on your own …’
‘No, no.’ Annie unwrapped the meals and popped them in the oven to warm. ‘We’d be glad of your company, wouldn’t we, Kate?’
‘Yes, we would,’ she told him, and it was the truth. She wanted him to stay.
He accepted their invitation with a slight nod of his head.
‘Kate, go and tell Rose to come down. She loves fish and chips and we might be able to persuade her to eat.’
She went up the stairs and opened her mother’s door quietly. If she was asleep, she didn’t want to wake her.
The sight that met her eyes tore the very heart out of Kate. Her mother was standing in the middle of the room, clutching one of her husband’s jackets to her and sobbing into it. The material was muffling great wrenching cries. She closed the door as quietly as she had opened it and started back down the stairs. She had to hold on to the banister because her legs wouldn’t support her properly.
When she staggered into the kitchen, Jon surged to his feet as soon as he saw her and reached out, pulling her into the shelter of his arms. She went gratefully, seeking comfort. It had been a terrible shock to see her strong, controlled mother like that.
Kate turned her head and gave Annie a tortured look. ‘Mum – she’s crying. I’ve never seen her like that before.’
Annie got up. ‘Most people haven’t. I did, just once. Bill and Rose had been married about two years when they had the most almighty row. Bill left her, but he came back.’ Annie got up and ran a hand over her eyes. ‘Only this time he won’t be coming back. I’ll go to her.’
34
It was past midnight when Jon drove away from the Roehampton house, the scene of so much pain. Rose had soon pulled herself together and had even managed to eat some of the fish and chips, but he suspected she’d used all of her considerable willpower so as not to cause her family any more upset. The grief in every member of that family was of a depth he
had never encountered before. It showed what great love they all had for Bill. He was glad he’d bought himself this old car yesterday, as nothing on earth was going to make him leave Kate now and he would need his own transport.
Annie had asked Reid and Sam to come back at once, and he understood her choice. Jon only knew snatches of their life stories, but it was obvious they had been through so much during the war, as had Annie, and they were all used to dealing with trauma. Rose and Kate would be safe with them at their sides. He was pleased Jacques hadn’t come, though. Kate was vulnerable at the moment, and he was afraid Jacques would upset her even more. He was also uneasy about their relationship. They were close – too close. He gave a disgusted snort and admitted to himself that he was jealous. He loved and wanted Kate, but was sure he wasn’t the only one after her love. His gut feeling was that both Jacques and Gerhard were in love with her, with the French boy having the greater claim on her. Well, they’d have to get past him, for he was sure he could love her and protect her better than they.
Early the next morning, when Jon popped into Wilkins House, he was surprised to find Kate having breakfast with the boys. He knew she often did this before starting work for the day, but he hadn’t expected her there today.
She was smiling at something Tom was saying, and Eddie was watching her in adoration. He accepted a cup of tea from Mrs Green before joining them at the long table. Kate appeared perfectly normal and relaxed until she looked at him and he saw the anguish in her eyes. She was putting on a great show, and his heart bled for her.
Kate knew that she must tell Eddie about her father, because he often chatted about the game of football he’d had with him, and he was bound to ask about him sooner or later. She stooped down. ‘Eddie, I want you to know that my daddy’s gone to heaven.’ He was always smiling when she came; now the smile vanished from his face. He obviously knew what that meant. Kate was conscious of Jon coming to stand beside her and she was grateful for his silent support; it strengthened her.
‘Is he with the angels?’ Eddie whispered.
‘Yes, and I expect they’re having a lovely game of football.’ She kept her tone light-hearted with great difficulty, but she must have been successful, because Ed’s smile flickered into life again.
‘Yeah, he’s nice and I bet the angels are glad he’s there.’
‘I’m sure they are.’ Eddie had only met her father twice and he had clearly liked him. Much to her relief, he’d accepted her explanation without any fuss. She stood up and had to hold on to a chair because she was trembling. As Eddie rushed off to collect his lunch box for school, her shoulders sagged as if all energy had been drained from her.
‘Well done.’ Jon placed his arm around her shoulder. ‘You handled that perfectly.’
‘Thanks.’ She leant against him for a moment, glad of his closeness and understanding. ‘I suppose it will get easier.’
‘It will,’ he reassured her. ‘You will always miss him but the pain will ease with time.’
Kate kissed his cheek. Her life had been a battleground from the moment she had walked through the door of the World Explorer. The conflict had started in a small way with Andrew Stevenson’s hostility, gathering intensity with the kidnapping and trial, now she was in the middle of the hardest fight of all – the loss of her dear father. How was she ever going to come to terms with that?
Jon took her hand in his, watching her long delicate fingers curl around his large hand. She felt icy cold.
‘I didn’t expect to see you here today.’ He placed his other hand over hers in an effort to bring her some warmth and comfort.
‘I must get back to work as quickly as possible. Dad would want me to carry on with my life.’ Her eyes clouded. And I didn’t want to worry Mum. She’s having a hard-enough job coping without me adding to her grief.’
‘How is Rose this morning?’
Kate looked down at their clasped hands and gave a helpless shake of her head. ‘I’m so worried about her. So is Aunt Annie and she knows Mum better than anyone.’
‘Shall I go and see her, or do you think she would rather be alone?’
‘I’m sure she would be pleased; she likes you.’ She gave him a grateful smile. ‘Annie, Reid and Sam are there, and the rest of the family will be in and out all day, but do go if you have the time.’
He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. ‘Your mother’s a special woman. I’ll always have time for her.’
‘Thank you. She needs a lot of love and support to get her through this.’
‘She’ll get it, and so will you.’
Kate gave him a rather wistful look. Are you going back to Berlin soon?’
‘No, I’ve told Andrew I want to work here from now on.’
‘What, stay in London?’ She couldn’t hide her surprise. ‘That’s a sudden decision, isn’t it?’
‘I felt it was time for a change.’ He wasn’t going to tell her the real reason – that he was in love with her. She wasn’t ready for that yet. He raised an eyebrow in query. ‘Why, do you want to get rid of me?’
‘Oh, no,’ she said hastily. ‘I’m glad you’re staying.’
Her response gave him hope. She needed time to come to terms with the death of her father, and he would give her that. He reluctantly released her hand and stood up. ‘I’ll go to see Rose now.’
‘Thank you.’ She stood up as well. ‘I must go to the shop. I’ve left Pete on his own for too long.’
He watched her leave, get in her Mini and drive away. What a terrible few months that family had had, and the final blow was losing the man they all loved so much. He couldn’t help wondering how much the kidnapping had contributed to Bill’s death. Quite a lot, he suspected.
‘Sad business, but she has a lot of courage and seems to be coping well.’ Mrs Green joined him at the window. ‘I wish I could help. You feel so helpless at times like this, don’t you?’
He merely nodded, his mind focused only on Kate and Rose. Kate would be all right, he thought resolutely; he’d make sure of that. Now he must go and see Rose – the other woman he loved.
Sam opened the door when Jon arrived at Roehampton.
‘It’s good to see you, Jon, come in.’ Sam shook hands with him. ‘We’ve stayed on for a few days. Maria and Jacques are next door with Will and Dora.’
There was no sign of Rose when they went into the kitchen. Annie and Reid were clearing up the breakfast things, and both smiled when they saw him.
‘Hello,’ Annie said, ‘would you like a cup of tea?’
‘No, thanks, I’ve just had one with the boys. I saw Kate there.’
‘How did she seem?’ Reid’s brow was furrowed in concern.
‘In control.’ He was aware that Kate was special to Reid and Annie. ‘How’s Rose?’
Annie’s hand shook as she placed a cup on the drainer. ‘Devastated. She’s in the garden. Why don’t you go and have a talk with her?’
He stepped through the kitchen door and into the garden Bill had tended so lovingly. The sun was shining, and it was pleasantly warm. He found Rose at the end of the lawn with a hoe in her hand, prodding at a weed in the vegetable patch.
‘You missed one,’ he pointed out as he stood beside her.
‘Hello, Jon, thanks for bringing us fish and chips last night.’ She continued with her hoeing.
‘My pleasure.’ He watched her tackle the weed he’d mentioned and hoped to coax her into a normal conversation. ‘That’s it – not an intruder in sight.’
She rested her arm on the hoe and surveyed the plot. ‘You’re right. I’ve dealt with all the little buggers.’
A smile touched his mouth. That sounded more like Rose. ‘I saw Kate this morning, and she said you wouldn’t mind me calling.’
‘You’re welcome here.’ She turned her dark eyes on him. ‘Jon, are you in love with my daughter?’
The question had come out of nowhere and threw him for a moment, but he didn’t hesitate. ‘Yes.’
‘Are you going off to some war zone any minute now?’
‘No, I’m not a war correspondent now. I’m staying here.’
‘Does Kate know that?’
‘Yes.’ He couldn’t fathom where this was leading. If she was about to tell him to leave her daughter alone, then she had a fight on her hands.
‘Do you intend to marry her?’
He braced himself to meet Rose’s disapproval. ‘Yes, if she’ll have me.’
‘Good.’ Rose gazed at the flowerbeds again. ‘Bill loved this garden.’ She spoke softly and then turned back to him. ‘You take good care of her.’
The look in those almost-black eyes rocked him back on his heels. It was a look that said the greatest love of her life had gone, and with it her reason for living. She had given up fighting. Rose Freeman no longer had any use for this life!
‘I will … we both will.’
‘Of course.’ Her eyes cleared. ‘I shall be watching you, young man.’
He almost collapsed in relief. That had been the most frightening thing he had ever witnessed, but thank God, it appeared to be only a momentary lapse. He’d seen something like it before when he’d been reporting on some trouble spot in the world, but never in a woman as strong-willed as Rose. He’d seen people just give up and die for no apparent reason, and he was absolutely certain that if she decided she didn’t want to stay here without her husband, then she would die. It was a terrifying thought.
A Time of Peace Page 31