by Cara Bristol
“Why are you getting mad at me?” Katie blinked.
“Sugar Pea, why don’t you and Mila head over to the cafeteria and let me talk to your mother alone for a moment,” Roger said.
Dana expected mutiny, but her daughter surprised her by agreeing. “Okay, Dad,” she said, then kissed him and stepped back. Mila rose from the chair and leaned over the bed. She clasped Roger’s hand and pressed it to her ample chest and kissed his cheek.
“Don’t worry,” Roger whispered.
The self-conscious way Mila glanced from Roger to Dana and Katie made Dana realize a declaration of love would have ensued if she and Katie had not been there. The scowl on her daughter’s face indicated she’d realized it too. But then she masked her glowering look with an over-wide smile.
“Let’s go, Mila,” Katie said.
With a lingering glance at Roger, Mila followed Katie out of the room. Dana frowned as she watched her daughter leave. Her mother’s intuition was sounding an alarm.
“She’s up to something,” Dana said when she and Roger were alone.
“Who?” He frowned. “Not Mila.”
“No, Katie.”
Roger shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Though proud of Katie, Dana knew her daughter wasn’t perfect. She could be a bit of a schemer when she wanted to get her way. Roger, the ever-doting dad, had been oblivious to many of Katie’s machinations. Dana did not like the gnawing in her gut, but Roger was a bigger concern right now than Katie.
Dana scooted Mila’s chair closer to the bed and sat with her back to the door. She exhaled a long breath of suppressed emotion. “Shit, Roger.”
* * * *
As soon as he completed his patient notes, Lon intended to call Dana. Never far from his thoughts, she weighed heavily on his mind today in a way he couldn’t explain. At first, he had brushed aside his concern as nonsense, but the notion that she needed him had grown stronger until it was too great to ignore.
Lon jotted some final notations and closed the chart on the computer. A hand fell on his shoulder.
“Hey,” Joey said.
“Hey, yourself. What’s up?” Lon swiveled in the chair.
“I bumped into your friend upstairs.”
“Oh, yeah? Who?”
“Dana.”
“My Dana?” The glands above his kidneys dumped a load of adrenaline into his system, and Lon’s heart kicked up its beat. With the possible exception of labor and delivery, no one ever came to the hospital for a good reason.
“She’s fine,” Joey added quickly. “She was visiting, not being admitted.”
“You scared me.” Lon raked a hand through his hair. “I’ve been worrying about her all day.”
“She looked healthy—maybe a little upset, but healthy. She was with a younger woman.”
“Her daughter?” Uneasiness crept back.
Joey shrugged. “I don’t know. Could be. The girl looked as if she’d been crying quite a bit.”
Shit. If Dana and Katie were at the hospital and Katie was upset, that could mean only one thing. Lon swiveled around and called up patient admissions.
There it was. Sex: male. Age: forty-nine. Name: Markus, Roger C.
Joey leaned over his shoulder. “Who’s that?”
“Her ex-husband. Let’s see what he was admitted for.” Lon tapped a few keys and called up another screen. “Oh, crap. That’s not good. Myocardial infarction.”
“I ran into them as I was getting onto the third floor elevator.”
Lon looked at Joey. “CCU.”
“Guess so.”
“I’m going to see her.” Lon exited the file and stood up. Even though she and Roger were almost divorced, the situation was bound to be stressful. No doubt Katie would be a basket case, and Dana would be facing this alone. Lon wanted to comfort her.
“Sorry to be the bearer of bad news,” Joey said.
“No, I appreciate it. I’m glad you ran into her. I wouldn’t have known otherwise.” He slapped Joey’s shoulder. “Catch you later.”
Lon strode to the elevator that would take him to the third floor CCU. It isn’t over until it’s over. His father’s warning floated to the surface of his consciousness. Crises could either destroy a family—or put one back together. But he knew Dana. He had no fear she would reunite with her ex-husband just because he’d had a heart attack.
“Shit,” he muttered anyway.
* * * *
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. As Katie stomped down the hospital corridor, her stomach roiled with dislike. Katie glowered at Mila. She had no right to be here, acting all weepy and sad. Katie swallowed to dislodge the bitter taste of fear that had filled her mouth the moment she’d received the bad news. She did not want to leave her father, but she had to pry Mila loose so her parents could be alone. It was a positive omen that her father wanted to talk to her mother. Perhaps the heart attack had shaken some sense into her parents, and they would work it out. This could be a blessing in disguise—show her parents how much they really meant to each other. All she had to do was keep Mila out of the picture and—
Katie stifled a groan when she spotted her mother’s boy toy barreling down the corridor like a man on a mission. She’d lied a tad to her mother when she’d told her that age didn’t matter. Everybody knew women were more mature than guys, so it kind of made sense that a woman would want an older man. But the reverse? What could a guy this young possibly offer her mother that her father couldn’t?
Katie had no idea the neighbor worked at the hospital. Of all the luck! She eyed his white coat. A lab tech or something, he probably was scrambling to locate a urine or stool sample he’d misplaced.
But what if he’d heard about her father’s attack and was swooping in to stake a claim on her mother? Katie couldn’t allow that. She’d just gotten Mila cleared out of the way; she couldn’t let this guy barge in and destroy her parents’ fragile détente. She needed to act quickly—boy toy was approaching. Katie gnawed her lip as she threw together a quick plan.
She pasted a distressed look on her face and clutched Mila’s arm. “I think I’m going to be sick.” Katie jerked her head toward the lighted restroom sign as if she planned to head that way. “You go on to the cafeteria.” She gagged into her hand for effect.
Mila narrowed her ugly bloodshot cow eyes with phony concern. “Are you all right? Can I help you?”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll meet you in the cafeteria in a few minutes.” Katie covered her mouth and waved Mila away. She couldn’t have the other girl around when she said what she needed to say. She would ruin everything.
After eying her for an interminable moment, Mila reluctantly proceeded on without her. Katie hurried toward her mother’s boy toy.
* * * *
So intent was Lon on getting to Dana, he almost plowed into her daughter. He didn’t even notice her until she materialized in front of him.
“Excuse me!” He grabbed her shoulders to prevent himself from knocking her over, but she wrenched away. Clearly she had issues with being touched. “You’re Katie, right?”
“Yeah.” Her eyes flashed with a signal she remembered him but also with…dislike?
Lon shoved his hands into his coat pockets. He’d told Dana something to the effect that it only mattered if she liked him, but Katie’s antipathy could complicate their relationship. But perhaps he was misreading her. Maybe she was upset in general over her father’s illness.
“I heard your father was admitted. I’m sorry,” he said in a quiet voice.
“My mother is with my father now.” She acknowledged his condolence with a shrug.
Lon took a breath. “I was on my way—”
“I wouldn’t wish a heart attack on anybody,” Katie interrupted him. “But the positive thing to come out of my father’s condition is that my parents realize how much they mean to each other now.”
Her words burrowed deep into his chest and unearthed his deepest fear. “What are you talki
ng about?” Lon said, but he knew. In his gut, he knew.
Katie’s gaze fell short of his eyes and glanced off his nose. “They’re getting back together.” Dana’s daughter shifted from one foot to the other. “If you care about my mother at all,” she said, and her tone indicated she believed otherwise, “you’ll let her be happy with my father, her husband, who she’s been married to for over twenty years.”
Firing one last glare in his direction, Katie pivoted and marched away before Lon could form a reply.
Katie’s refusal to look him in the eyes pointed toward deception rather than truth. Katie didn’t want him to date her mother; she’d made that obvious. She had a prime motive to deceive.
She was lying.
Wasn’t she?
Of course she was. Lon hurried down the corridor and pushed through the staff entrance to the CCU.
Chapter Eleven
“Yeah, shit.” Roger repeated Dana’s epithet and studied his ex-wife. Despite the rancor of the divorce, she’d dropped everything and raced to his side. For about the millionth time, guilt and shame snapped at him with steel-tipped jaws.
Dana was a wonderful person—he regretted he’d been unable to love her the way she deserved. But like the time he’d whipped up a batch of five-alarm chili and forgot to add the cayenne pepper, an essential ingredient had been missing from their marriage. The omnipresent lack had compelled him to seek fulfillment elsewhere, but those short-lived interludes—extended one-night stands, really—had rendered him more ashamed and unsatisfied than ever.
Then he’d met Mila and discovered the joy he’d been searching for.
He was a married, middle-aged fucker whose wife was an attractive, good, decent person, and Mila was less than half his age. Everything about the relationship appeared wrong—everything except the intense satisfaction she evoked in him. Mila’s reaction to his heart attack had laid to rest his worries that he didn’t measure up in her eyes. If he’d been one of those sappy, sentimental types, he’d say he’d found his soul mate, but all he knew was that he was powerless to resist Mila.
But he’d achieved contentment at Dana’s expense. He should have had the balls to be honest and terminate the marriage years ago instead of straying. He realized with hindsight that he and Dana probably should not have married at all.
Roger hoped she would find a man who loved her.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“For what?” She twisted her mouth into a wry smile. “Having a heart attack and scaring the crap out of everybody?”
“For everything. For the way I handled things. For the way I hurt you. I wish I could offer you more than an apology—”
“It’s done.” Dana interrupted him with a raised hand. “You’ve moved on, and I’m ready to move on too. Focus on getting better.”
“I appreciate you coming to the hospital.”
She crossed her legs and shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I? You’re Katie’s father. Despite everything, I still care what happens to you.”
“Thank you.” He didn’t deserve her generosity. He scanned her face, noting her still-youthful appearance, the absence of wrinkles, the richness and thickness of her hair. “You’re still a beautiful woman, Dana.” The mere four-year difference in their ages had always seemed like light years, which made his attraction to Mila even stranger. He’d always felt as if time were running out. Perhaps his subconscious had known a heart attack loomed on his horizon.
Dana arched her eyebrows. “And you’re telling me this because?”
“My, uh, infidelities were never about you,” he said, for the first time admitting to her there had been more than one. “I hope you’ll meet someone who will give you what I couldn’t. I hope you find your special somebody.”
Dana paused half a beat and then said, “I already have.”
Roger hoped she wasn’t making up a story and examined her face. A half smile played out on her lips, and her eyes acquired a happy glow. “You’re serious,” he said.
Dana nodded.
“Have you been seeing him long?”
She shook her head. “But long enough to know how I feel.”
Inwardly, Dana gawked in amazement that she and Roger not only were conversing like regular people and not combatants, but also that she had confided her feelings for another man. Seeing Roger stricken had crystallized one truth: life was too fucking short to waste one second. She couldn’t predict the future, but she cupped the present in her hands and intended to cherish it along with a certain blond hunk. As soon as she left Roger’s bedside, she would track down Lon, lay a sloppy wet one on him, and tell him how much he meant to her—that she loved him.
“I’m very happy for you,” Roger said, and the deep lines between his brows seemed to lighten. Her cynical side insisted his happiness was tied to an alleviation of guilt, but her kinder intuition told her his pleasure was genuine. They’d shared a lot over the years.
The urge to talk about Lon demanded release; she wanted to shout to the world that she loved him. But wasn’t it bizarre to share details of her relationship with her ex, the man who’d cheated on her? Thus far the only person who knew about Lon was Katie, and her response hadn’t been favorable. And after the way she’d excoriated Roger about Mila’s youth, wouldn’t he throw her hypocrisy back in her face?
What the hell. She laced her fingers in her lap. “You want to hear something funny?”
Roger swept his gaze over the IV in his arm and the blipping monitors. “Sure, I could use a laugh about now.”
“You probably will laugh.” Dana filled her chest with air, trying to decide whether to plunge into the confession or wade in. “Lon, the man I’m seeing, is younger than me.” She eased into the pool.
“I’m missing the punch line.”
She dove headfirst. “He’s twenty-eight.”
Roger blinked in surprise, then chuckled. “Who would have thought?” The mirth in his eyes brought a touch of boyishness to his aged features, and Dana caught a glimpse of the man she’d married eons ago.
“Well, not me,” Dana said drily.
They laughed together, and a pallet of emotional bricks toppled from her shoulders. In that moment, she realized she had forgiven not only Roger, but also herself, for all the real and imagined transgressions she feared she must have committed for her husband to have cheated.
Roger reached out with his IV hand and covered hers. Once, they’d linked fingers as easily as they would breathe, but now his touch, while not uncomfortable, seemed foreign, as if they’d never held hands before. After today, they would not do so again.
“You’re a good person, Dana,” Roger said. “It sounds trite, but I mean it. I hope we can be friends.”
They would never be best friends. Too much had changed. But their shared history and daughter would keep the bond from withering. Dealing with the milestones that would occur in Katie’s life would be easier if she and Roger were amicable.
“Can we make it work?” Roger asked
“I would like that,” Dana answered.
* * * *
Lon had brushed aside his father’s warning.
He had rejected Katie’s announcement.
He had disbelieved his own ears when he’d entered the cardiac unit and heard Dana’s giggles mingling with a man’s laughter. Hilarity wasn’t something you encountered in the CCU, but the sound led him to Roger Markus’s room. Lon parted the drape and prepared to enter.
He froze and zoomed his gaze in on the sight of Dana holding Roger’s hand as they pledged to make a go of their marriage.
Can we make it work?
I would like that.
Pain bowled into him like a linebacker’s tackle, nearly dropping him to his knees. So involved in each other, Roger and Dana didn’t notice him.
He released the curtain before Dana spotted him, before he ripped it off the sliding rings. He clenched a fist, needing to pound something to ease the pressure threatening to explode in his chest like an alien in a
sci-fi movie. Instead, he backed out of the room and fled the scene.
Once free of the CCU, he stormed into the stairwell and flew down the steps to the ground floor and burst out of the hospital through a staff-only door, charging past surprised smokers enveloped in a cancerous cloud.
He paced the sidewalk and punched the air, a boxer mime sparring against an invisible opponent. Fuck, fuck, fuck! He punctuated each jab with a silent curse. Passersby and visitors eyed him warily, and Lon tore off his ID badge and shoved it into his coat pocket. Hospital administration frowned on its residents going postal in public view.
Times like this, it sucked to be a physician. When you hurt so bad you wanted to crawl into the nearest bar and drown yourself in a glass, and you couldn’t because people’s lives depended on you. It sucked worse than a moldy lime in a vodka tonic.
Lon decided he was like one of those people who got flattened by trains each year. How could you not notice a whistling, screeching train barreling down the track? Even his father had tried to warn him, but he’d blown it off because he’d been so frickin’ sure of Dana. He had believed she was falling in love with him the way he was with her. And now, she had cracked open his rib cage and cut out his heart without any anesthesia at all.
His cell vibrated in his pocket. “Fuck!” he swore aloud at the intrusion. He wanted to ignore the electronic summons but couldn’t. It was likely hospital business, could even be an emergency. He grabbed the phone and flipped it open.
Dana’s number on the display pounded a new spike of pain through his chest. He knew with the certainty of the damned she was calling to officially break off their relationship. If he had any hope of surviving his shift, he couldn’t face her. With a violent snap, he closed his cell and restrained himself from pitching it into the street.
He headed back to work.
* * * *
Dana normally avoided interrupting Lon during the day. But she’d served as everybody’s rock, and after what she’d been through, she needed a solid shoulder and reassurance. Reassurance? She pondered the significance of the word her mind had conjured. What did she need to be reassured of?