"The supervisor and medic are here, and I think there's two more around somewhere." Inspector Phillips had followed them into the room and was now looking from Blair to Jim. "I've got a boat coming in to pick me up in an hour, it will bring the other three back."
"Come on Chief, let's tell them we're here and get the hard part over with." Blair felt Jim's hand on his shoulder and he turned around.
"Blair? Is that Blair Sandburg?"
Blair had been trying to swallow enough of the lump in his throat to answer Jim when they all heard the woman's voice projecting ahead of her as she came down the stairs. They all looked up to see a woman in her forties, with short black hair, dressed in heavy wool sweater and jeans. She smiled at them all in a sad way as she approached, reaching out for Blair's hand.
"They didn't tell us you were coming. I'm so sorry."
Blair nodded, shaking her hand, then turned to Jim. "Jim, this is Mrs Hathaway. She's the resident medic. Mrs Hathaway, this is my friend, Jim Ellison."
"Medic and den mother." She shook Jim's hand and smiled. "And it's Katie." She nodded at the Inspector, then turned back to Blair. "I can't tell you what a shock this has been, Blair. She had only just arrived, and then...well, it hasn't been easy for any of us."
Blair nodded, glancing around, trying to find something he could focus on long enough to steady his voice. "Her parents are still overseas, so the University asked me to come up. Actually they asked Professor Kinyon but..."
"Yes, I know, she's out sick. She did call our parent station, back on the mainland, to say that she couldn't come up, but that they were sending someone. I am sorry, Blair." she turned to Jim. "Are you with the University also, Mr. Ellison?"
"No, no ma'am, I'm not. I'm a Detective with the Cascade PD."
"Detective? You are aware that this was just an accident? I thought that's why Inspector Phillips was here?"
"Yes ma'am. I'm just here as a friend, to help Blair get this taken care of. Inspector Phillips is an old friend."
"As I've said, Mrs. Hathaway, everything seems to be in order. I'm just here to collect the papers for the office."
"Yes, you did say that. I'm sorry. I just can't help but feel responsible." She looked back to Blair. "You two will want to get settled in. I understand you'll be here for a couple of days, what with the holiday, and the...well the paperwork involved. Why don't you come with me, I can show you to a room." She turned and Blair followed with Jim right behind.
They walked down the hallway, past the larger rooms to either side, to a room at the far end of the corridor. "We've had a few remodelings since your last visit, and got a couple of more private rooms. There's only a handful of students here right now, but we try to separate the sexes in the bunk rooms. Admittedly, it doesn't always work, but we're supposed to try." She opened the door and led them into the room. It was spacious for a research facility dorm room, with a bed on either side, a desk in the center, and a full view of the pier they had walked up through two large picture windows.
"Why don't you get settled? My husband's upstairs arguing with the supply plane about the weather. We've had an awful lot of fog lately, and they haven't brought in supplies since last week."
"The others, will they be back soon?" Blair asked, glancing out the window at the early afternoon sky.
"Yes, I imagine within the hour. The Inspector's boat should be bringing them back with the...well, they didn't want her to stay in the metal one we had here. You understand?"
"Yeah. Thanks Mrs...I mean Katie. Thanks." Blair turned to set his pack on one of the beds and stepped over to the windows. He could hear Katie and Jim, who were still standing in the doorway.
"She's down in the basement, when he's ready," she was saying. "He'll know where."
"Thank you," Jim replied. Blair saw her reflection in the glass as she looked at him for a moment, then left. "Chief, I'll be right back."
Blair nodded without turning around. He focused on the barge at the end of the dock, trying to see as many details from that distance as he could. Trying to imagine that the diving barge was the most important, fascinating thing he had seen in a long time. Trying not to think about what was waiting for him one floor below, in the basement. In the freezer.
Jim returned several minutes later and walked up to the window, looking out. "Tim has the paperwork we brought up. He'll take it back with him this afternoon, but the offices are closed all day tomorrow." he paused then and Blair nodded, still trying to count the barnacles he couldn't see. "You don't have to go down there, Blair. But it would be a good idea. It helps, sometimes. Get it over with, then you can move on easier."
Blair felt Jim's hand on his shoulder. He didn't understand how seeing her body was going to make anything easier. He sighed and pulled his eyes off the barge he could barely see, turning around completely and leaning on the windowsill. He felt cold suddenly, despite his heavy sweater. "I guess you're right," he said, surprising himself with the steadiness of his voice. "I should get this over with before they come back." He pushed off the sill and started for the door. Jim was right behind him and he stopped, turning around. "Listen, Jim...I think I'd like to do this alone, if that's okay?" If he was going to fall apart, he'd just as soon his partner wasn't there to be ashamed of him.
Jim stopped, nodding. "Sure. Just take your time, okay? It's not an easy thing to do." He paused, looking at Blair. "I'll be upstairs with Tim and Professor Hathaway, if you need me."
"Thanks Jim." Blair raised his eyebrows, trying to gear himself up, and turned back around, walking down the corridor and back to the staircase. He waited until Jim was walking up, then he started down. The metal staircase wound around three times before reaching the lower floor where most of the food and supplies were stored. The main room was crammed with equipment and boxed findings from their dives and whatever else they were digging up at the time. Blair took his time winding through the boxes and crates, idly glancing at the labels as he made his way towards the giant walk-in freezer at the far end. Once inside he knew he'd find the front area stuffed with supplies to feed the entire facility for months at a time, and Professor Hathaway's secret stash of mango peach ice cream he thought no one knew about. The freezer was twice as big as it needed to be. Either that, or it was always half-filled, because Blair knew there would be plenty of room for the silver metal box he found at the far side. He let the door to the freezer shut behind him as he entered. The door was equipped with an emergency handle, and the lock had been broken for years.
She was there, way in the back, past the Professor's ice cream. Blair approached the coffin, wrapping his arms around him for warmth against the cold that was creeping, oddly enough, from the inside out. He stood for a long time beside the metal box, staring at the frost accumulating on the edges. Twice he reached out to open the lid, and twice he stopped himself.
"This won't help either of us now," he said, his teeth chattering slightly. "I'm sorry." Sorry I wasn't here. Sorry this happened. Sorry I couldn't be Kenny for you. Blair shook his head and quickly left. He couldn't open the box, no matter what Jim said. That wasn't Emily in there. Not anymore. There was a shell in there now. A shell that would be cold, and covered in ice. No, seeing that couldn't help. It couldn't help at all.
Part 3
* * *
Jim climbed the stairs to the upper level and glanced around, noticing the impressive view of the island from the large picture window he was facing as he stepped away from the staircase. The entire island could be seen from that level, as the windows circled the building, with no walls to block the view. At the far end of the room, standing next to Tim Phillips and Katie Hathaway was a greying gentleman with his arm wrapped around Katie's shoulder. Jim could smell the pipe tobacco from there, as subtle as it was, with a hint of vanilla. Tim caught his eye and waved him over to join them. Jim took one last look at the incredible landscape and turned to follow the windows around the room to where they waited. Professor Hathaway was exactly the image of a Professor Ji
m had always kept in mind. From his dark blue cardigan sweater, khaki colored pants, greying beard and glasses pushed over his head, right up to the pipe that smoldered gently as it hung from his mouth.
"Jim Ellison, this is Professor Hathaway. He's the supervisor here at the station." Jim took the professor's hand and returned the smile. "Professor, this is Detective Jim Ellison."
"How do you do Professor?"
"Fine, considering. It's Clive, by the way. We don't stand too much on formalities around here." He removed the pipe and nodded to his wife. "You've met Katie?"
"Yes, I have." Jim looked around at the circular view. "This is some place you have here."
"Ah, yes it is. We've been in operation for nearly ten years now. Come, let me show you around."
Jim let the Professor step ahead of him and begin a slow walk around the room, gazing out the windows.
"We were originally set up to study the whale migration through the Straits." He pointed out the window they were walking past, to the water beyond the island. "But, as the funding changed, and new stations were set up in better positions, we were switched over to a more anthropological staging area. There were so many local tribes on these islands. Many of the mainland tribes used these islands as summer vacation spots, just as we do now." They moved on around the room and Jim could see more of the pier and the barge at the end. "But, a few years ago, they found that thing, just sitting out there all this time, waiting for someone to come along and look down." He laughed a little, putting the pipe back in his mouth for a long pull. "Of course, she wasn't expected to be found there, so why would anyone be looking, eh?"
Jim nodded, smiling at the Professor's attitude. "Is that what the students are here for, to study the wreck?"
He nodded, lowering his head sadly. "Yes. This group is from the archeology department. Solely interested in what they can find down there." He sighed heavily. "As I was telling the Inspector, each of them is a certified diver. That's required for them to come up here, unless they just want to catalog findings and coordinate the search. But Ms Cummings was certified. She was up here last summer, for the first time, and was diving even then." He paused and Jim stopped, waiting. "Yes, this accident has hit us all pretty hard."
"What exactly happened?"
"Hum? Oh, yes, let me see. I wasn't down there, but her diving partner, Kenny Pritchard was with her. That was tragic. The two of them were, what is it they say these days? An item? Anyway, they simply stayed down too long, and Ms Cummings ran out of air." He made a clucking sound with his tongue and re-lit the pipe. "Shame, really. These accidents are so avoidable if they would just remember their diving rules and pay closer attention."
Jim nodded, glancing back at Tim, who was busy talking to Katie Hathaway. "Was there an autopsy?"
"Hum? Well, my wife performed a preliminary exam. But, since there were so many witnesses, and they had tried so hard to revive her down on the pier, there really wasn't any need to desecrate the poor girl's body. Unless her parents request one. But I'm sure they can do that after she's back in the States." He pulled on the pipe, trying to keep the tobacco lit. "I understand the University sent Blair Sandburg down to collect her?"
"Yes." Jim replied, looking back out the windows. He could see a small boat approaching from across the channel and was about to comment on it when he realized it would still be too far out for anyone but him to see. "The students who were down on the pier, are they all here now?"
"Yes. Well, no, not right now. Two of the students are here, but they weren't diving that day. I'm not sure exactly where they are...oh, most likely out on the barge, working on the equipment. The other three went to the mainland together for a coffin. They didn't want their friend going back in that old metal thing. Can't say as I blame them. The boat should be back soon, if you'd like to talk with them. I'm having trouble getting the regular float plane to come out this week, what with the holiday, and the fog we've been having lately. I'm afraid we'll all be stuck with each other for a few days."
"It'll take a while to get things squared away, so we can take her home anyway." Just then Jim saw Blair walking out across the island, behind the building. "How big is this island, anyway?"
"Oh, not big at all. The center is situated on the only flat ground there is. Then, off behind us is some rocky area, with several trees, as you can see. Lots of places for these students to get away if they feel the need. Some of them even like to sleep in tents, out and about the area." The Professor was looking outside as he pointed, and he, too, noticed Blair. "Ah, Blair Sandburg. I haven't seen him in a while. Archeology isn't his field, you see. But he used to like to come up here to relax, and we'd chat for hours about the natives. He hasn't been up for nearly a year." He sighed. "This must be hard for him. I believe, if I'm not mistaken, that he and Ms Cummings had a history."
"Yes, they did." Jim replied, watching Blair walk into the woods at the south end of the island. "If you'll excuse me, Professor."
"Clive." he corrected, reaching into his pocket for another match.
"Clive. If you'll excuse me. It was nice meeting you."
He nodded, striking the match. "We'll talk again. It's a small building."
Jim smiled and walked back to the staircase, noting as he did so that Tim and Katie were gone. He descended the stairs and found them both in the kitchen.
"Jim, my boat's coming in so I'll be pushing off." Tim reached out and shook Jim's hand again. "I'll do my best with the paperwork, but I can't promise anything before Tuesday."
"That's fine, Tim. Thanks for your help. We'll be here." He slapped his friend on the back as he turned for the door, "Oh, hey, congratulations on the promotion, Inspector."
"Ha. Long time coming, my friend. We may be a bit different up here, but even Canadians get promoted."
Jim laughed and watched him leave, then turned to Katie who was standing beside him, holding out two steaming cups. "Fresh and hot," she said, handing him the cups of coffee. "He went out that way. There's sort of a trail that takes you right to the edge. There's a great rocky spot there that's perfect for just thinking."
Jim smiled, nodding. "Thanks."
He found the trail, such as it was, and followed it into the sparse tree line, then out to the rock he could see Blair sitting on. There was a second rock, just behind him and slightly lower, and Jim sat on that, handing Blair a cup.
Blair glanced behind him for just a moment, accepting the cup, then turned back to stare out at the surf crashing against the rocks twenty feet below.
They sat for a few minutes in silence. Jim knew his friend was having trouble dealing with Emily's death, it was natural. But it seemed to be closing him up, and that wasn't good. Jim had been through the grief process enough to know, if you didn't open up, it would tear you apart. He wasn't going to let Blair get that far. "The boat is in. Tim's gone back to get things started. Should have everything taken care of by Tuesday."
Blair nodded, not looking back. "Thanks, Jim."
He sipped his coffee and looked out at the waves Blair was studying. "This is a beautiful place. It's been a long time since I've come up this far. I'd almost forgotten just how incredible it is." He could hear the boat pulling up at the opposite end of the island. "You want to talk about it?"
"Not really, Jim." Blair looked out over the waves, then at the sky for a second, but wouldn't turn around. "I think I just need to be alone for a while."
Jim sighed, glancing around. This wasn't going to be easy, but it had to be done. "No, Blair, not this time," he said. Blair glanced back at him for a moment and Jim could see the redness of his eyes. "It's not going to just go away, not before you deal with it."
"I don't want to deal with it, Jim. I just want to get past it." He looked back out over the water.
"You're not going to get past it, not like this," Jim said, leaning forward a little. "Listen, until you can bring it out, deal with it, get used to it, it isn't going to go away. It's called grief, and we all go through it the same wa
y. Some of us at a different pace, and different intensity, but it's the same all around. Now, until you can talk to me, or someone, about this, it's not going to go away."
"What about you?" Jim could hear the subtle anger in his friend's voice, but he knew it wasn't an anger directed at him. "If I talk to you about it, are you going to go away?"
Jim was quiet for a moment, letting Blair calm down a little. "No Chief. I'm not going to go away." Was that what had been scaring him all this time? Didn't he realize by now, the two of them were partners? He didn't, did he? Blair still thought Jim was going to end their relationship at any time. This fear had to stop.
Blair turned then and looked him in the eye as if searching for something. He met his gaze and waited, hoping his friend would find what he wanted there. After a moment, Blair turned back to the sea and stared at his coffee mug. "Emily and I were pretty close, for a couple of months anyway. Before Kenny came along. Now she's dead, and I don't...I should feel..." He faltered and Jim remained quiet, waiting. "I should feel something. I do feel something, but it's not enough. Not nearly enough."
Jim waited, watching his friend as he stared at his coffee growing cold. When he didn't continue, Jim took a deep breath, glancing out over the water. "How much is enough?" he asked.
Blair shook his head, "More than I do. Jim, she was...She deserved more. I'm upset, but I'm not as upset as I should be."
"And that's got you upset?"
Blair nodded and Jim could see him trying to gain control. "What does that make me?"
Jim shook his head and moved closer. Setting his cup down on the dirt beside the rock he was sitting on, he put a hand on Blair's shoulder. "It makes you human, Chief. That's all. There's no hard and fast rule, or gauge that tells you how much or how little to feel when someone you know dies. Any more than there's a rule about how much you can feel for a person when they're alive. If you felt more worried and upset about the trip up here, and what it would take to get her back, than you were about her death, that doesn't make you any less human than if you had simply fallen apart back at the loft last night." He paused then, giving Blair's shoulder a squeeze. "It doesn't make you any less of a person either way."
Legend Page 3