by S. B. Niccum
“How did Katie and Jase fit into their plans? How did your parents?”
An ugly realization hit me hard in the stomach, like I just got punched. What if I somehow brought this on them? What if I’m the one they’re after? What if their deaths and ill-fated lives are payback for something I did … before? The thought knocked the air out of my lungs and I found it hard to breathe. My mind reeled and amber cat-like eyes flashed in my mind, “ … Remember Tess, remember who you are and what your mission is … ” her soft purr-like voice resounded in some distant memory. A dream. I had a dream about that.
Alex’s expression changed as well. He looked at me unblinking, his thoughts were far away, “Whatever happens … will happen to us.” he said as if in a trance.
“What?” I breathed out feeling shivers run up and down my torso.
“A promise,” he said, searching my eyes, trying to grasp something elusive. “I remember making you that promise, but … not here.”
My eyebrows knitted and I looked at him questioningly. “What do you mean?”
Alex looked around the crowded train we had been riding into the city; we enjoyed the privacy of speaking a different language, but not the privacy of personal space. No one seemed particularly interested in us, but he still lowered his voice and whispered in my ear. Still, after all these years, these simple exchanges gave me chills and flushed my face all at the same time. If anything my feelings for him had only intensified with time, bonding us so tightly that I couldn’t imagine ever being me without him again. One flesh, that’s what we have become—one flesh.
“This is going to sound crazy, but I just had the oddest memory. No, I’ve had this flash of memory before … the day I meet you. I remember you walking into that classroom and I remembered this same thing.” He looked suspiciously around again and pressed closer to me, bending his head intimately to my ear. “I remembered standing on a beach, wide and clear, unlike anything I’ve ever seen on Earth. It was … perfect. You were dressed in white, and looked radiant, brilliant—glorious.”
I looked into his eyes and he looked back into mine with intensity.
“I—it happened so fast! I’m afraid that if I don’t tell you know I’ll never be able to again.”
I frowned and he shook his head. “Listen, you looked like an angel, that’s the best way I can describe it. We were standing on that beach and my heart felt like it would explode with happiness at the mere sight of you. One smile from you and I knew … ” his voice broke and he cleared his throat. “I knew that I would endure anything just to be with you, here.”
“Here?”
“Yes.” He thought for a moment. “Here, in this life.”
I blinked a few times, fighting back the stinging sensation of oncoming tears. “Endure anything?” I echoed.
“Anything.”
We were silent for the rest of our ride, but remained standing as we were; close, perhaps even too close for public. But in this city, these eccentricities didn’t seem to matter much to anyone. I remembered that day, when I first saw him. I had a vision of him too, but it was different. Or was it? The memory of what I saw that day flashed in my head again. I was looking at him across the room one minute, and the next he was right in front of me, bending over me getting ready to kiss me, making a promise, feeling eager, frustrated, relieved, and … promising me something,
We stepped off the train at the end of the line—Retiro, the main station—and quietly walked hand in hand toward one of our favorite cafés. It was one of those classic places that had history behind it, everything in the place was reminiscent of the tango golden age, and indeed the furniture was from that era. The soft melody of a doleful tango played in the background, while the scent of strong coffee wafted through the air.
We ordered our lunch and we stared into each other’s eyes, wordlessly. There seemed to be something hanging in the air, thick and oppressive. It felt odd, like a new chapter in our lives was about to begin.
As if reading my mind Alex leaned in and grabbed my hand, “We are turning a new page here, I think.”
“What does it mean?” I asked, fear tugging at my heartstrings.
“I don’t know,” he exhaled. “I feel like—like we need to be strong for something.”
The tears that had been threatening to fall on the train could not be held back any longer. “Alex, a lot has happened already. What more could there be?”
His response was nothing that I had been expecting. His eyes grew big, shock registering in every feature of his face. He screeched his chair back and it got knocked down to the ground as he stood. In a flash he reached over and forced me off my chair, pushing me to the ground. Shots, mingled with screams and shouts assaulted my hearing. Fear registered as I felt his body falling over mine. Sirens, screams, more shots, acrid, warm sticky blood … laughter.
Eugenia woke up feeling stiff and sore from the previous night’s events. She stumbled into the bathroom and looked into her haggard face. Something had changed; she looked different. Peering closer into the mirror she pulled the bags under her eyes taunt, hoping that perhaps that would do the trick in restoring her youthfulness—but it didn’t.
She checked her watch and realized that if she didn’t hurry, she would miss the appointment with that man. They were to meet at a coffee shop downtown, where she would casually slip him the envelope with the picture of Tess.
Once showered, she came out to choose her outfit, and realized instead that the envelope with the picture was gone. Instead she found a note that simply said. “It is done. Meet me where we agreed, with the payment.”
Eugenia’s heart started beating wildly. Payment? Of course he’d want payment, but she had not been given any money to pay the man or how much it would cost. She assumed that the woman would have taken care of all that.
A sick feeling in her stomach pooled there and she rushed to the bathroom to expunge it from her system. With trembling hands and her mind racing, she cursed the day she came to this miserable country and even considered dealing with this woman. Who was she? Why was she setting her up for murder? How did she get here? Not just in body, but in soul?
She had no way of getting a hold of that woman now; she was completely on her own. After debating the matter for another moment, she started to throw her belongings back in her suitcase. She didn’t bother to dry her hair or apply any makeup; she flagged a cab down and told him “Air—port.” Slowly, so the man would understand.
As she rushed to the ticket booth, a man in a hooded sweatshirt and sunglasses stopped her. “Where are going in such a hurry?” he asked with a strange accent.
Caught off guard and shaking like a leaf, Eugenia mumbled something incoherent.
“You will walk to the nearest ATM and you will pay me for my work.”
“How do I know it’s done?”
“If you had been at our appointed meeting time, you would have seen for yourself.”
“I want nothing to do with this,” Eugenia muttered.
“Too late.” He jabbed her in the back with something hard and pushed her toward an ATM. Trembling, Eugenia obeyed.
“How much?” she asked in vain, she knew that there would not be nearly enough money in her account to pay the guy.
“All of it,” he demanded thrusting his gun barrel deeper into her back.
“Eugenia pushed buttons and her account balance showed way more money than she remembered having—a lot more. “This ATM will not let me cash this much money,” she said in disbelief. Where had this money come from?
“Then we have a long day ahead of us,” the man purred in her ear.
Alex stood up suddenly, like a spring, and frantically looked around for the assailant and for Tess, but he saw nothing. There was nothing. Just white thick fog and bright muted light. “Hello?” he called. No response.
“Anybody there? What is this place? Where is Tess?” he demanded.
From the fog and the golden light a form appeared. It was a man, tall, broad s
houlders, thickly built, all dressed in white. Behind him came a woman, petite, also dressed in white. They glided forward silently. Alex stared at them and squinted to get a better look. They looked oddly familiar.
“Who are you? Where am I?”
“It’s me son,” the man’s voice reverberated like thunder. It sounded familiar.
Alex peered into the man’s face, “Grandpa?”
“We all look young here!” Russell smiled broadly and gave him a shove on the shoulder. Alex looked at the spot where this young version of his grandfather had touched him, and marveled at the fact that he didn’t feel the contact.
“What’s going on?” he asked suspiciously, not really wanting to hear the answer.
“Say hi to your grandma Nancy,” Russell said, pointing to the woman.
“Hi,” Alex said dubiously. He didn’t remember Nancy that well; she had died of cancer when he was still very young. His unconvincing greeting, however, didn’t deter her from jumping up and clamping on to his neck.
“Oh, my dear boy! It’s so good to see you! You have no idea how sorry I am to … ”
“To what?” Alex demanded while he removed her from his neck.
“To have you under these circumstances,” she finished then looked with uncertainty back at her husband.
“What circumstances?”
“You’re dead, son.” Russell’s straightforwardness irritated Alex.
“What do you mean I’m dead?” he spat.
“Just that. You were killed, shot. Shot dead, son.”
Alex stared at his grandfather and anger seized him, propelling him forward at a speed that only his mind could create. Grabbing Russell by the shirt he pulled him forward and upwards, quite effortlessly. He held the feather-light Russell and shook him a few times, then seeing that physical contact had no effect whatsoever, he released him. He had hoped that this young Russell would at least fall down with a thud, but instead he floated smoothly down. Alex looked away from his grandparents and rubbed his face in frustration. “I’m thirty years old, grandpa! Tess needs me! I just got done telling her that I would stick by her through anything. I told her how I—we were going to go through the problems that life sent us together! How can I do that now?”
Russell and Nancy exchanged glances. “It was your time, Alex.” Russell put one big hand on his shoulder and squeezed.
“Tess says we all have Guardian Angels, hers is her grandmother, Celeste. Who’s mine? Why didn’t it protect me?”
“Because he was forbidden.”
Alex looked into Russell’s eyes with an accusatory look. “It was you, wasn’t it? You let that bastard kill me?”
“Watch your tongue son, you’re in Heaven!”
“Ha! Like you ever did!”
Nancy turned and looked at her husband through half closed eyes. Russell rolled his and threw his hands up in the air. “Okay! So I haven’t always been perfect! In fact I’ve always fallen extremely short! But I’m trying here.” He grabbed Alex by the shoulders and looked sternly into his eyes. “I could have stopped that—bastard,” he whispered the last word, “but like I said, I was forbidden.”
“By who?”
“The Eternals.”
“Who?”
“On Earth the Eternals have many different names, but basically it’s the Godhead.”
“So, God told you to let me die.”
“Well when you put it that way it doesn’t sound right. But trust me; the Eternals would never do anything without your best interest in mind. Some people are assigned to death and that’s it! If you mess with it, big problems could arise from it. I’ve seen it.”
“He’s right dear,” Nancy piped in from the sidelines.
Alex turned and looked at her again, remembering that she was there. “Where are Katie and Jase?”
As is on cue, they stepped forward from the whiteness the moment their names were called. “Were you there this whole time?”
Katie flew to her brother, and like Nancy, embraced him tightly. “Yes, we were,” she admitted unreservedly, Jase came forward and extended his hand.
“Who else is hiding back there?” Alex crooked his neck and looked in the direction where Katie and Jase had come from.
From the clouds hundreds of figures stepped forward, the sight was overwhelming to Alex. Panic filled him at the mere sight of all these spirits. “Who are you?” he breathed out.
“Your ancestors,” they said, almost simultaneously, adding to his exasperation.
“Well, some of us are not your ancestors. Some of us are just friends.” A blond with an accent said, as she came forward with a small band of people.
“Celeste?”
“Yes, and this is my husband Max and my son Leo and his wife Irene.”
They exchanged nods in from of greeting.
“The shooter, he was aiming for Tess,” Alex told her.
“I know. Thanks for saving her.” Celeste looked genuinely grateful.
Alex frowned, “If the man was aiming for Tess, why was it my time to die? I mean, I would do it again, I would save her life no matter what, but … ”
“It was meant to happen. I can’t be one hundred percent sure, but you would have died some other way.” Russell gave Alex a pitiful smile. “The bright side is that you died a hero’s death, sacrificing your life for that of another. That actually counts for something.”
“Greater love hath no man than this, that he layeth down his life for his friends,” Max spoke with priestly wisdom.
“If it makes you feel better,” a petite woman with raven black hair and equally dark eyes spoke up, she was the spitting image of Tess, but shorter and darker. “I know exactly how you feel right now, and trust me. It’s for the better that you trust the Eternals.”
Alex shook his head. “I appreciate the sentiment, and I’m sure that you—” He pointed to Tess’ parents, making the assumption as to who they were, “of all people would understand. But … my mom, she’s losing it! And Tess … If what we are saying is correct, there’s someone out there trying to murder her!” Alex looked pleadingly at Leo. “Most likely the same person who ruined your life and ended hers,” he pointed to Irene. Alex could tell that Leo wasn’t sold on this passive idea of letting it be. He could see the fire in Leo’s eyes, the fire he had in his own—the fire of anger and revenge.
Leo looked steadily at Alex, and moved forward, placing himself right in front of Alex. He put one hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. “I have appreciated the way you’ve treated my daughter, and I want to welcome you to my family.” Leo’s voice sounded measured and tight, as if fighting an internal struggle. Alex nodded once and looked back at Leo, wondering what was on this man’s mind.
“That person you are referring to is still after my daughter, but he’s not the only one.”
“Then we must stop them!” Alex exclaimed impatiently. “She can hear spirits! I can go back to her and protect her, or at least warn her! I’ll be her Guardian!” Alex turned to Celeste.
“You can’t assign yourself to be someone’s Guardian Angel,” Celeste bellowed. “You have to qualify, then go through training, then be assigned. Even then you may not be assigned to her; you could be assigned to anyone!”
“There’s no time to do all that, she needs me now. She’s my wife! I’ll look after her!”
“It doesn’t work like that,” Nancy pleaded.
“Well I don’t care how it works! I’m going back!” Alex looked around, searching for a door or stairs or something that would cross him over. “I get that I’m dead, but in this particular case it may still work,” he mumbled as he still looked for a way out.
“I’m telling you, necio, you can’t do it! You’ll be haunting her if you go down without permission!” Celeste yelled. Max extended one arm and held her back.
“How could a husband wanting to help his wife be considered a haunting? It makes no sense! I’m going down, and you will tell me how.”
“I’ll do no such thing
! I’ve kept her safe all these years. Even while you were messing with her head, and nearly broke her heart; I was the one who consoled her!”
“I never messed with her head!”
“Oh yes you did!”
“Enough!” Russell’s voice boomed with authority. “Alex, she’s right. You can’t go down unless you are assigned. You have no idea what—”
“I’m going down, and if you won’t tell me how, I’ll find someone who will.”
“No one will tell you,” Russell said firmly.
“I will,” Leo looked up and stared at Russell defiantly.
“Leo, no!” Irene gasped.
“I’m done playing by these rules! I agree with Alex, something has to be done, and I’m through standing by and watching all my loved ones succumb to this … bastard,” he emphasized this last word then turned to Alex with a defiant grin.
Chapter 32
My mind has its own coping mechanism when it comes to dealing with trauma—it shuts down. I’m not sure where it goes, all I know for sure is that one moment Alex was pushing me down to the floor and the next I was standing by his grave site, dressed in black, listening to someone read from the Bible, “Oh death where is thy sting? Oh grave where is thy victory?”
I looked at the person speaking with anger, what did he mean ‘where is thy sting? And ‘where is thy victory?’ It’s right here! I felt like screaming.
“Welcome back,” Dane said to me as we walked back to the cars for the procession.
“What do you mean?”
“Your eyes … you looked … gone. I see life behind them now.” The poor man looked tired, aged. He held on to Valerie who also looked aged, thin and gaunt.
As the car door opened I got a brief look at myself in the tiny side mirror, I too looked awful. My usual golden olive skin looked ashen. I had dark purple circles under my eyes and my hair was cut short right below my ears with blunt short bangs. It would have been a cute style, but my short strands currently hung lifeless down both sides of my face. When did I get it cut? Why couldn’t I remember that at all?