I knew it was temporary. I knew it was an illusion. I knew it was messed-up. But I needed a few moments of relief. I needed it bad. I dropped to the ground by the maple, gasping for air, pulse racing. I yanked off the sweatshirt and used it to wipe off my dripping face. Then I balled it up, lay back, and stuck it behind my head.
I felt her without even reaching out. Her energy washed softly through me, and I felt my anger and grief dissipate into the cool, night air. My body shuddered and my muscles slowly released. Soon I was breathing normally. The uncut grass below me was soft, and I floated on the calm of her energy. I lay there with my eyes closed, just soaking it up, shoving all disasters and traumas to the back of my mind.
I knew I needed to get her to help me and then move on. But I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I replayed the scene from the hallway over and over. The only sound I let in was the gasp she made when I’d touched her cheek. I saw her amber eyes look into mine.
I know it was stupid. I know I shouldn’t have done it. I really do. But I was so hungry for her. I just…in a moment of weakness, I reached my energy out to hers. For a moment, I felt it answer. My heart jumped in my chest and I reached harder.
Then all I felt was panic—her panic. I bolted up, gasping for air. I jumped to my feet, ready to sprint to her rescue. Then the panic stopped and she was gone.
I was alone…Constantine the Destroyer.
What had I done now?
I felt the tingle and rolled over, thinking I was dreaming. I felt it again, and I tried to shake it off, but it clung as tight as the sheet that wrapped around me in my narrow bunk. It didn’t go away. It got stronger. Suddenly, realization slammed into me, and I jerked, banging my elbow against the wall.
That woke me up. It woke me up fast.
Oh no…no, no, no…
I shot up, frantic, clutching air, grasping for my survival pack. All I got was a bed sheet. I shoved the mop of hair out of my face and crawled up on my knees, trying desperately to untangle my legs from the blankets. I struggled to make sense of the moment. But it was dark, and I was groggy and confused.
The tingle got stronger.
WTF?
No!
Adrenaline sent needle pricks down my torso, jerking me into action. I crashed out of my bunk, launching for shoes, grabbing everything in reach. I called out for Lex and Ipod. But before they could answer…
I was gone.
What had I done? I reached out and touched her. Seconds later, she disappeared.
My bad! My frickin bad!
Had I knocked her into a jump? Could it have been a coincidence? Who knew with this chick? I’d never known a Shadow before. I knew nothing about her powers. I didn’t even know much about how melding affected things. But moments ago she was there, all peaceful and mellow. She was probably sleeping. Enter Constantine, the Destroyer. Suddenly, she was gone.
It had to be me.
I needed to fix this. What could I do, rap on the tree house door, and ask if A.J. had just disappeared? I’m sure that would go over well.
A light went on in the backyard. I snuck around to my spot, stepping up on the rock to see over the fence. Muffled voices came from the tree house. Shadows loomed against the window shades. Two figures moved back and forth, highlighted in the windows. I couldn’t feel her at all, but a faint trail of her energy hung over the yard like a mist.
Ipod came out and sat on the porch, rubbing his eyes. I found myself feeling sorry for him in spite of the jealousy. I couldn’t blame him for loving her. He was there first. I was just an intruder in their lives. I was the stalker. And now, apparently, I’d knocked A.J. to who knows when—not good. I didn’t belong there.
Still, I didn’t leave.
A minute later, Lex emerged, patted Ipod on the head, and walked across the bridge with a flashlight. I wondered if she was going to get A.J.’s father, but she returned a few minutes later alone…bathroom, maybe. No lights had gone on in the house. I wondered if A.J.’s time travel was a secret from the dad.
At that moment, I was glad A.J. had them for friends, even Ipod. Lex sat for a minute beside him, talking softly. Then they went into the tree house and the light went off. Everything went silent. Using what I hoped was forethought; I reasoned that it would be a mistake to interfere at that point. What could I say? I was just in the neighborhood?
She’d come back. It was way easier to return than it was to leave. I told myself she’d be okay. I knew I needed to get back to the hospital, but I stood there for another hour, just waiting and hoping she’d return. She didn’t.
Finally, I left. I didn’t feel so good. I was sick with worry about her. I was sick with worry about Devon.
Maybe I was just sick.
I wanted to fall into a hospital bed myself and let someone else take care of me. I wanted to be drugged into oblivion. I wanted to have tubes, wires, and machines do all the work of living my life. For a moment, I thought I understood how Devon felt.
And that scared me.
It was a harsh awakening.
Pain hit first as I fought for consciousness. Panic followed, and I struggled to see in the glaring, noonday sun. I scrambled up, pain screeching through my head, stuff falling out of my arms, looking around frantically from between my fingers.
No one in sight.
My stupid hair was in my eyes and all crazy and tangled around me. I shoved what I could behind my shoulders and felt my head—a lump the size of a walnut made me wince. I searched for blood, but luckily my fingers came back dry. I wondered if I’d been out long. I sucked in a breath and blew it out slowly, trying to slow the pounding in my chest. But the throbbing in my head held my heart hostage, and it whacked against my chest like it was trying to escape.
I’m okay, I’m okay, I lied to myself—because I was freakin not okay.
One minute I was sleeping. The next I was panicking. And the next I was somewhere else entirely…to say nothing of sometime else.
Anger flooded my brain, pushing every cell in my body into a pulsing crescendo. It hurt so bad! I wanted to break something. I wanted to scream. I wanted to punch Fate, or God, or whoever was pulling the strings and screwing with me like this. But there was nothing to break and no one around to blame for yanking me out of bed and tossing me out the window of my own reality. And screaming in an unknown location—not a survival strategy.
Son. Of. A. Bitch!
I’d never, ever, jumped in the middle of the night before. I felt totally out of control and scared, to say nothing of being so dizzy and queasy I had to sit down. And my head…my head was stuck in a silent scream of agony.
My mouth tasted of copper. I swiped my hand across my lips. Red, great, I’d bitten my tongue when I fell. There’d been no time to get into position to cushion the fall. My head must have gone down hard. I hoped I didn’t have a concussion.
As soon as my eyes adjusted, I looked around cautiously, taking stock of my situation. There was no immediate danger—no lions or bears or psycho-ax-murders in sight. I crawled a few feet to find a little shade and then I lay down. The lump on the back of my head forced me to lie on my side, and I curled into a fetal position and moaned loudly.
Then it hit me that sound traveled really far with no buildings around to absorb it. I decided I’d better get a grip and stop being such a baby. But first, I needed my heart to stabilize, so my head would quit slamming against my eyes. It hurt so bad I could hardly see. I huddled there on the hard ground, holding absolutely still, trying desperately to gain control of my body.
Trying to have this not be real.
In the back of my mind, I heard Lex say, “Shrink Four, ‘It’s either true or not true. What you want is irrelevant to the equation.”’ I clung to that, just to have a focus other than the relentless pain. She was right. I had to face reality…immediately.
Survival depended on it.
Lex wasn’t there and moaning hadn’t brought any super heroes to my rescue. That meant it was up to me to figure out what to do. I took another d
eep breath and let it out slowly like Ipod taught me. I took another. Gradually my heart quit racing, and the throbbing in my head slowed to an annoying ache.
Luckily, nothing was broken, just a lump on the head and a cut tongue. It could have been worse. I pushed myself to a sitting position and looked around.
I recognized the terrain—not specifically, but in a general sense. It was typical for the Colorado Rockies. I was at the edge of an aspen grove, and there was a grassy valley off to one side. I spotted junipers, pines, and cottonwoods. The plants looked familiar, and there were mountain peaks in the distance. To my knowledge, I’d never gone anywhere except Colorado on my jumps. I was probably somewhere in the foothills above Boulder. That must be the where.
As far as the when…
There were no signs of civilization. No phone lines, no towers, no garbage, no buildings, no planes overhead—nothing but nature. I was in the middle of nowhere…in bear and mountain lion territory. Lex, I need you! I screamed in my head. But she couldn’t hear me.
I was alone.
At least it was daytime. And it wasn’t winter. I’d lucked out season wise. It had to be early summer by the look of the trees. I hadn’t had time to grab my survival pack. If that had happened in winter, I could be dead in a few hours. I had on thin, cotton pajamas over a skimpy tank top and luckily, socks. I could have kicked myself for not sleeping with my pack. From now on, I promised myself.
After a few minutes of easing into it, I got to my feet. In my panic, I’d grabbed everything I could on my way out, knowing I could be in deep trouble without adequate clothing. I needed to inventory what came with me. Stuff was scattered in the tall grass.
I snatched up a black blob. It was Ipod’s heavy, cotton hoodie, and the oversized pockets were full. It was huge, but the bigger the better given I was wearing pajamas covered with little SpongeBob’s. The hoodie would hang down almost to my knees, and I’d have to massively roll up the sleeves. But the deep pockets could hold stuff, and it was better than my own jacket if it got cold which it would once it got dark. I tried not to think of dark.
That took a lot of trying.
I dug in the first pocket: a small notebook, a pen and a folded piece of sheet music…not much help. I searched the other side: a paper clip, a tube of peanuts and two Snickers bars. An inside zippered pocket yielded up a folded blue bandana and two granola bars. After all the times I’d razzed him about it, I was benefiting from Ipod’s insatiable hunger. He’d made a 7Eleven stop on the way home. I’d never bother him about it again, once I made it home.
I saw no shoes, but I’d grabbed Lex’s bedroom slippers…both of them. Okay, that was good. It would so suck to be without footwear. They were suede, ankle-high boots, with woolly stuff inside and rubber soles. They had Velcro straps that I could pull tight to compensate for my smaller feet.
The next blob was a pair of jeans—no belt—but again they were Ipod’s. He left his stuff hanging on a hook at the end of the bunks, and that was the direction I’d lunged, before I was yanked out of my own time. Apparently, I got nothing that was actually mine. His jeans would be huge, but they were thick denim.
I grabbed the jeans and started on the back pockets. The first one had a comb, a string of safety pins and his wallet—sorry Ipod. The other held the thin black ski cap he wore on bad hair days. I moved to the front, finding a Swiss army knife and his phone. The other side had some change and a pocket flashlight—yes! That gave me a brief burst of relief. It was a good one too, one of those slim, Sharper Image thingies. Thank you, Ipod. His packrat tendencies were saving me. Of all the things I could have grabbed, Ipod’s pants rocked. Alone in a strange place…maybe doable.
Alone in a strange place in total darkness…not so much.
I dropped the jeans and looked around…slowly, because of my pounding head. I’d pulled my sheet along with me. I could put that to use right away, starting with the pants. I tore off a strip of the sheet and looped it through the belt loops. Then I pulled the jeans on over my pajama bottoms and tied them on. I folded up the legs a few times. I felt immediately better, just having something thicker cover my legs and some protection from stickers and spiders and creepy-crawly things. Okay, not too shabby. This was good stuff, I assured myself.
I scanned the area, spotting a blue suede lump in the tall grass a few feet away—Lex’s mini-pack—more of a purse, really. I grabbed it and dumped out the contents: hairbrush, a small pair of scissors, hair ties, bag of chocolate covered almonds, Kleenex, aspirin… almost full water bottle—yes!
I tossed a couple aspirins in my mouth, took a swig of the water, and continued taking inventory. There was a zipper bag with a toothbrush and little bottles of shampoo and conditioner in case she washed her hair after gym. That, along with several items of make-up, would get me nowhere out here in the wild. Neither would perfume, mints, wallet, mirror, or supplies for a necklace she was making. But the pair of mini-binoculars might be useful. She’d gone to a concert a while back and had never taken them out of her bag.
The side pocket yielded a pair of soft leather gloves, keys, and a box of matches from a bar the Chihuahua frequented. Lex didn’t smoke, and she’d never let on she needed anyone, but she kept little mementoes…go figure. Lucky for me—the matches were probably the best find, other than the water. I pulled out a red thing in a little black pouch. It took me a minute to figure it out, but when I did, I let out a whoop. Yes! All right Lex! Pepper spray.
Even when she wasn’t with me, she still had my back.
I had food, water, clothes, light, and weapons. Okay, not much in the way of weapons, but something at least. I brushed the twigs off my socks and put the slipper boots on, looping the Velcro straps through the slots, and pulling them snug. The binoculars had a cord, so I hung them around my neck. I hooked the flashlight and the knife around belt loops and tied on the pepper spray pouch.
I felt like Inspector Gadget…which might have been funny if I hadn’t had such a slamming headache.
I took another scan of the area and saw a black rectangle a few feet away. It was Lex’s phone. I must have swept it off the nightstand with the sheet. It’s what we used for an alarm. That was it. Nothing else but trees, rocks, grass, and sky.
Tired of the wind whipping my hair in my eyes, I brushed out the tangles, braided it, and hid it all under Ipod’s cap. It felt good to get it out of the way. Plus, even though I was alone now, I didn’t know when that might change. It felt safer, somehow, trying to pass as a boy.
It was a little too warm for the hoodie, so I tied the arms around my waist. It was clumsy, but better than carrying it. I put the pack on my shoulder. Then I folded the sheet and stuck it between the shoulder straps, so my hands were free. At least now I had a survival pack of sorts. Pepper spray, flashlight, water, food—not exactly Neyteri, from Avatar, but better than that whiney Survival girl…forgot her name.
Then again, probably more like Inspector Gadget.
The pain was easing a little and I looked around for some better shade. I spotted an outcropping of rock about a hundred feet away. I wanted to sit down and hopefully wait out my headache. Mostly, I wanted to get out of the glaring sun. I plodded along clumsily in my strange outfit through the tall grass. It was hard to move in Ipod’s heavy jeans. I’d never be able to run very fast in them. Not that I could run fast without them…but still.
God, I hoped I didn’t have to run.
I reached the rock overhang and sat down for a moment, just to steady my dizziness. I needed to let the aspirin kick in before I could do anything else. Using the folded sheet for a pillow, I lay down on the uneven ground. Motion had slammed my head back into throb mode and my stomach felt queasy. I wondered how long it would take till the aspirin did its thing. I lay there for another twenty minutes or so, just thinking about how I was going to get through this.
I had no way of knowing how long I’d be stuck there—an hour? A week? I didn’t have much water. That was bad. Should I hunt for water, or s
hould I stay put? And if I found water, would it be safe to drink? How was I to know? This was nothing like ending up in the tree house. I regretted never having taken a survival course. Of course, I hadn’t expected this. I had no idea what to do next.
“Well, you can’t just lay there,” Lex would say if she were with me. “Shrink Four, ‘Instead of freaking out, assess the situation and make a plan.’” That was her favorite Shrink advice.
“Consider your options,” Ipod would say. “What’s most important?”
“My head,” I would answer. “I’m practically paralyzed with it pounding like this.”
“Well, what can you do about it?” Ipod would ask. “Think.”
Maybe I could pull some energy from one of these trees. I’d never tried healing with stranger trees. But I certainly got energy off the maple at school so I knew it wasn’t just my tree that had power. It was worth a shot. I sat up slowly, holding my aching head. There was a massive cottonwood about a football field away. That seemed like my best bet. I lumbered clumsily towards it, tripping on the rolled up cuffs, which jerked me and made the pain worse.
“Cut the cuffs off,” Ipod said in my mind. “Use my knife.”
So I sat down and hacked off about four inches of each pant leg. Walking the rest of the way was easier.
It was a magnificent tree—huge and pulsing with life. I could feel it’s power even before I touched it. The leaves were slick and green with the newness of early summer. I dropped the pack and hugged the trunk, placing my cheek against the rough bark. I let myself melt into the feel of it.
Between the beats of my pounding head, I could sense energy pulsing upwards from the roots out to the leaves. I could feel the leaves sucking up energy from the sun. I visualized both energies pulling out of the tree and into me. Up the roots and out into me. Down the leaves, through the branches, down the trunk, and out into me.
I’d never been this creative with it before. I’d never had to be. I soaked it in with every pore in my body. It was like being immersed in warm, soft fizzy-water, caressing every inch of me. The anxiety vanished along with the pain in my head. I was energized, revitalized. Maybe there were no people around, but as long as I had trees, I wasn’t completely alone.
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