by Kim Curran
He looked at Tom, pale and bleeding. The twins and Connor were scattered on the steps below, battered and bruised. They weren’t ready. They might never be ready. The blade had to be destroyed.
He raised it above his head, offering it up to the sky. A ray of sunlight hit the blade and refracted like light on a disco ball. Everywhere the light touched was basked in gold. The bodies of Zyanya and her Jaguar Warriors turned to dust under its power. The cloud of swirling darkness – all that was left of Tezcatlipoca – blasted apart. The light grew brighter and brighter till JD had to close his eyes.
When he dared open them again, everything was still and his hand was empty. The blade was gone and the only sign that Tezcatlipoca had ever tried to return was a scorch mark on the ground in the shape of a man. Zek, Niv and Connor clambered up the final steps to join them on the platform. They were hurt, but they were alive.
JD turned back to Tom, who sat propped up against the altar. He was pale, terrifyingly so, with blue-tinged lips and dark circles around his eyes. It reminded JD of that time they’d played a concert on Halloween and all had skulls painted on their faces. Tom hadn’t wanted to clean his off.
Milly was by Tom’s side. She tore a strip off her robe and tied it around Tom’s arm, stemming the blood.
“What did you do that for?” she snapped.
“To save him,” JD said, coming to kneel beside his friend.
“Pretty drastic move, mate,” Tom said weakly.
“Pretty drastic situation.” JD looked at Tom’s arm. The tourniquet had slowed the blood loss but Milly’s makeshift bandage was already soaked through. He met her gaze. He might have acted quickly enough to save Tom’s soul, but had he cost him his life in the process?
Milly stroked Tom’s forehead with a shaking hand. “I meant you anyway, you idiot,” she said. “That was so stupid. You could have been killed.”
“Well,” Tom said, “I couldn’t lose you yet. We were only just getting to know each other.”
Milly wiped a tear away from her cheek and leaned in to place a kiss on Tom’s lips. When she straightened, Tom’s eyes were closed. “Is he…?” she said, horrified.
“Just passed out,” JD said, checking Tom’s pulse. “But we need to get him to a hospital and fast.”
Connor kneeled down and scooped the unconscious Tom up in his strong arms. “That must have been quite some kiss, Milly,” he said, forcing a smile.
Rain started to fall as the storm clouds above gave up the fight.
“Come on,” JD said. “Let’s get out of here.”
Milly waited outside the hospital room, watching the boys through the glass. The doctor had said they’d been unable to reattach the hand. Tom had lost a lot of blood and would need to be kept under observation for a few days. But he would live.
Tom was propped up against three white pillows while Connor fussed around him. Zek seemed to be flicking through all the channels on the small TV attached to the wall, while Niv played with the buttons on Tom’s bed. JD stood in the far corner, not joining in. Milly could see her own guilt reflected back on his drawn face. Tom had nearly died to save her. She looked down at the bleached lino floor and wanted it to swallow her up. All of this, all of this pain, had been to protect her.
“So, you’ve got to the self-pity phase?”
Milly looked up to see Gail standing over her, carrying two cups of steaming coffee. She was dressed in a hospital gown and moved without her usual grace.
“Gail.” Milly stood up and tried to hug Gail, made difficult by the coffee. “They told me you’d been hurt.”
Gail placed the coffees on a small side table and gave Milly a proper hug. “I’m okay. We’re all okay.” Gail let her go.
“But Tom’s hand… I…” Milly choked back tears.
Gail sat down in a blue plastic seat with her leg outstretched. “Having a disability doesn’t make him weak. I should know.” She tapped her eyepatch. Milly realized she had never asked anyone what happened to Gail.
“Was that a demon too?”
Gail drummed her fingers against the side of her coffee cup. “You know I was in a band, back in the day? An all-girl rock band, and we were good; we could have been great even…had it not been for the demon. We were filming a video in a graveyard in Norway when it attacked. It killed my friends. My girlfriend.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t worry. I got my own back. I smashed its head in with a spade. But not before it had clawed out my eye and shattered the bones in my leg.”
“You’re badass, Gail.”
“Back then I wasn’t. I was just a messed-up girl who’d watched her friends die. No one believed me, of course. A black teenager trying to tell the authorities the truth? It got me locked up in a psychiatric hospital for three years.” She tapped the silver tip of her cane to her temple.
Milly wasn’t surprised. She imagined what would happen if she tried to tell anyone about what she’d been through over the past week. They’d probably try and lock her up too. “I’m so sorry, that must have been terrible.”
“You know the worst thing? I almost believed them. I almost believed that I had imagined it all. It got so bad that I almost thought about…” Gail didn’t need to finish. “I bought my way out of there, but it took all the money I had left from the band. Everything I had in the world, gone like that.” She clapped her hands together. “After that, I wandered around the world, trying to work out what I was supposed to do with my life. That night, when I found Tom,” Gail said, a sad smile creasing her cheeks, “crying over the body of his mother, it didn’t just save his life, it saved mine. I knew then what I had to do. Hit back.”
“Tom was the first?”
Gail nodded. “I thought it was enough, just to protect that one boy. But then along came JD, the twins and finally Connor.”
“So you put the band together?”
“I didn’t know at first that we would be a band. At first, I thought it was just about giving the boys a home. But when I heard Tom playing the piano, I knew. If we were going to fight, if we were going to make a difference, we needed money. Starting the band seemed the obvious solution.”
“It doesn’t seem right,” Milly said. “That you should have to fight this battle alone. If only you could tell people…”
“Sometimes keeping people in the dark is the best way to keep them safe,” Gail said. “Maybe one day the world will be ready to know. But for now, we just get on with the job.”
The job, Milly thought. If only she had something like that to keep her going. They watched hospital life move around them. Nurses and doctors rushing about. They had a purpose. What did Milly have?
“So, what are your plans?” Gail asked, ignoring the unsubtle whispers of a woman sitting on the other side of the corridor. The woman had clearly recognized Gail and was doing a bad job of pretending she hadn’t.
Milly joined in the pretence, blocking the woman out. “To be honest, I don’t have a clue. My mother called all the shots in our life. So now…” She trailed off, and stared at an old man hobbling past using a Zimmer frame. The truth was, Milly knew exactly what she wanted to do. The idea had started to itch away at her the day she and the boys had written that song together. Even being kidnapped and nearly killed hadn’t dissuaded her: she wanted to do what Slay did. She wanted to make music and fight evil. But she knew it was a useless desire. It was clear from the start that they’d never wanted her around.
“He kicked us out.” Milly turned to see Zek and the others piling out of Tom’s room. “Can you believe it? Apparently we weren’t helping.”
“He needs rest, which he wasn’t getting with you two pushing every button in the place,” Connor said.
Niv drew a cross on his shoulder with his thumb.
“What did you call me?” Connor said, ready for a fight. “He called you a nurse,” Milly translated.
“Oh, well, in that case.” Connor scooped Niv up in a hug. Clearly nearly losing Tom was ma
king him even more emotional than usual.
“Gail said you will be leaving us?” Zek said, without meeting Milly’s eyes.
“My flight back to Chicago leaves in a couple of hours,” Milly said. She’d have to go back and sort out her mother’s estate. Sell the house maybe. She didn’t know where to begin, but she knew there was no point in dragging this out any longer.
You must? Niv signed one-handed, his other hand trapped by Connor’s hug.
“I’ve caused you lot enough trouble.”
“Not trouble,” Connor said, letting go of Niv. “It’s been fun.”
“You have a very unique idea of fun, Con,” Milly said.
“We’ll…you know.” Connor’s words caught in his throat.
“Yeah,” Milly said. “I know.”
Connor wrapped her up in a hug too. She winced at the pain in her chest. The doctors had seen to her wound too. It would heal, but leave a nasty scar.
“Sorry,” Connor said, loosening his grip but not letting her go. Zek and then Niv joined him. She stayed there, wrapped in the safety of their arms, fighting back the tears. When they finally let her go, she struggled out a smile.
Stay in contact, Niv signed.
Promise, she answered.
Connor and the twins wandered away, leaving JD behind them. The idea of watching him go was almost too much for Milly. He looked down at his feet, as if he too was struggling to look at her.
“So,” she said, finally breaking the awkward silence between them. “I never got the chance to thank you for saving me.”
“That’s okay, just doing our jobs. I guess I never got the chance to thank you for saving me back.”
Milly hesitated, rocking forward on her feet. JD always felt so distant, so unreachable. They stood barely a metre apart and yet it felt like miles. Even after everything they’d been through, reaching out to JD now felt like too big a risk to take. He finally looked up and they stared into each other’s eyes, both frozen.
“Well,” she said at last. “Take care of yourself.”
JD nodded, as if respecting her decision. “You too.”
“I’ll see you back at the hotel,” Gail said. Milly had almost forgotten the woman was still there. “Once I make them sign my discharge forms. Honestly, so much fuss for a few scratches.”
“You lost a pint of blood, Gail,” JD said.
“Pfff.” Gail waved away his concern. “You’re as bad as the nurses. It was half a pint, tops.”
“You should ask if you can keep the gown,” JD said. “It looks good on you.” He dodged the swing of Gail’s cane and turned to leave, before remembering something. “Tom wants to talk to you, Milly.” He gestured over his shoulder at Tom’s room. And with that, he left, his trainers squeaking on the bleached floors.
Milly looked at Tom lying in the bed. He looked so small and frail amid all the white pillows.
“Go on,” Gail said. “You’ve got plenty of time before your flight.”
Milly knocked gently on the door before entering.
Tom’s pale face broke into a huge grin on seeing her. “Milly!” He reached out his hand.
Milly crossed the gap between them in a single, quick stride and took it. It was so warm. Tom shifted over and patted the space on the side of his bed. Milly perched on the edge, careful not to shake the bed too much.
“So,” Tom said, rubbing his thumb in circles on the back of Milly’s hand. “I wanted to ask you something.”
Milly couldn’t face it. “My flight is leaving in a couple of hours.”
“About that.” Milly looked from his sparkling green eyes to the cupid bow of his lips. She’d kissed him when she thought she was losing him; would she ever be that brave again? Tom smiled. “Stay.”
Butterflies did swan dives in her stomach. Was he really saying what she thought he was?
“But…there’s no place for me.”
“Well, Slay need a new pianist.” It took a while for Milly to understand what Tom meant. Then she looked at his bandages.
“No, Tom, you’ll be okay. They can do amazing things with prosthetics, you’ll be—”
Tom stopped her by squeezing her hand. “It’s not that, Milly. I mean, yes, it is that. Sure, maybe I can play a bit with one hand, or Zek is very excited about me getting a cyber hand. But it’s more than that. I can’t risk it.”
“Risk what?”
“The fame.”
Milly shook her head, confused.
“When Tezcatlipoca tried to possess me, I felt it. That hunger for power. I would do anything for it. And I can still feel it now, Milly.” He squeezed her hand again. “It scares me. I wanted it so badly, I still want it. It reminded me of my mother – willing to do anything just to be adored again. Gail warned us all about what fame can do to people, how the power can twist them, turn them evil. That unless you approach it with a pure heart, it can grip you. And my heart, Milly—”
“No, Tom, no,” Milly said, laying her hand on his chest. “You’re the kindest, purest person I have ever known.”
“And I want to believe that. I want to hold onto that side of me – so don’t you see? I can’t do it any more. I can’t be onstage, I can’t be in the spotlight.”
“But he tried to possess me too, Tom. How do you know it won’t do the same to me?”
“Answer me this: have you ever, once in your life, wanted to be famous?”
Milly thought about that. Her whole life she’d seen her mother chasing fame and fortune, seen how it had made her ruthless and cold.
“No,” she said. “No, I haven’t.”
“And that is why you will be okay. And maybe I will be too, one day, when I can trust myself again. But till then, I need you. It’s why we all need you.”
Milly could feel his heart beat beneath her hand. Could she do this?
“Okay,” she said. “Just until you’re better.”
“It’s not easy, this life, you know that, right? And I’m not just talking about…” He looked around to make sure no one outside could overhear. “Going up against demons every week. I mean being on the road, the lack of privacy. It’s a lot to handle. It’s selfish of me to even suggest it.” Tom shook his head, as if he regretted asking.
“It’s not. It’s what I want. My whole life I’ve just wanted to belong. I was always on the outside looking in. But since meeting you and the others, it’s like…it’s like someone finally sees me. The real me. Or if not the real me, then the me I want to be. I’m not making any sense.” She looked down at her hands.
Tom laid his hand on her face. “You’re making perfect sense.”
Milly looked down as their fingers tentatively entwined. “How much do you remember? From the pyramid?”
“I remember when JD cut my arm off. Kind of hard to forget.”
“And…after that?”
“Oh, you mean when you kissed me?” Tom grinned.
Milly felt her cheeks flush. She’d part hoped that he hadn’t remembered it. “It was…I mean…I thought you were dying.”
“Well, I hope I don’t have to nearly die for you to kiss me again.”
Milly bit down on her lip, holding back the smile that was threatening to give her away.
She leaned gently towards him. His hand ran up her arm to her neck, his fingers brushing the back of her hair. The centimetres between them melted away. Her lips parted.
“Ahem.”
Milly jumped back so fast she nearly fell off the bed.
“Gail!” Tom said, leaning back into his pillow. “Hi.”
Gail looked between the two of them, her lips pursed, eyebrow raised. “Hi yourself.”
“Milly and I were just, um, discussing her joining the band.”
“Sure,” Gail said, her expression softening slightly. “And what conclusion did you come to?”
They both looked at Milly. “If you’re okay with it?”
“I am very much okay with it,” Gail said. “And the boys will be too. Once they get used to the
idea. Welcome to Slay.”
Milly stood and wrapped her arms around Gail’s neck. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“You’re home now,” Gail replied.
JD and the others were driven to a hotel in Cancún by an overly chatty taxi driver in reflective sunglasses. JD ignored him. He really needed some headspace to organize his thoughts – the feeling of guilt over what he’d done to Tom and the wrenching emptiness he felt at having said goodbye to Milly.
Zek stopped him as they exited the lift which opened into their suite, letting the other two go ahead. “Do you want to talk about it?”
JD shook his head.
“Well, thank God for that.”
JD smiled, appreciating his friend’s attempt at humour. Zek winked as he passed, letting JD know that despite all the bravado, he was there for him. He was always there.
Inside the suite, Connor and Zek ran around, putting dibs on the best room. Niv walked into the kitchenette and pulled out two cans of cola from a minibar. He threw one to JD, who caught it and collapsed onto a sofa, his tired muscles sinking into the soft cushions. As hotel suites went, this was one of the good ones. Three rooms led off the shared living space, and the view of the sea was spectacular.
“No fair!” Connor shouted, from one of the rooms. “Yours has a bath!”
“When was the last time you had a bath, Con?” Zek said, strolling out of his room, a fluffy white dressing gown wrapped over his jeans and T-shirt.
“Well, it would be nice to have the choice.” Connor vaulted onto the sofa next to JD and pulled his sticks out of his back pocket.
Zek knocked Connor’s baseball cap off as he passed, sliding into an armchair. Connor seemed too tired to even respond, and just put the cap back on.
“So, I guess Milly will be at the airport now,” Zek said.
“I guess,” JD said quietly.
“Shame,” Zek said. “I was getting used to her.”