Frank’s gaze sank to his hands worrying nervously in his lap. “I was madly in love with your mother. I thought we’d have a lifetime together, and then all in one day, she shattered my beliefs, I lost her, and I had you, but you weren’t really mine. Not a day has passed that I haven’t thought about you and wished I were a stronger man. That’s my fault. I’m not asking for forgiveness. I’m on my way out of this world, and I’ll carry that guilt to my grave. But once I sobered up, I knew I had to find you. I wanted to apologize. She’d want you to know the truth about your history, and for you to have her things. She adored you from the very moment she found out she was pregnant. Her love for me might have waxed and waned, but not for you. Never for you. She sensed that you were a strong boy even before you were born. She said a girl wouldn’t kick that hard.” He smiled, as if he were reliving the memory. “She named you Reed the month before you were born. Said reeds were strong and had long roots that spread far and wide. She wanted you to be strong, to have roots you could count on. Roy and Ella gave you that, and I’ll be forever grateful to them for doing what I couldn’t.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
GRACE SCRUBBED THE heck out of every surface in Reed’s house. She washed the linens, made the bed, and was busy polishing Reed’s boots when she heard his truck door close. She ran down the stairs and nearly bowled him over on the front porch.
She grabbed him, searching his expression. “You’re back. Are you okay? How was it?”
He touched his lips to hers, a small smile settling into place as he lifted her wrist, eyeing the gloves she wore.
“I was polishing your boots.”
“My boots? Grace, guys don’t polish their boots.” He took her hand, and they sat on the porch steps. He set his mother’s journal beside him.
“You were so distraught when you left. I wanted to do something for you, but I didn’t know what to do in a situation like this. So I cleaned the house top to bottom. I picked flowers down by the creek to try to make the rooms seem brighter to cheer you up. And I was going to attack the attic, but I didn’t want you to think I was snooping. So I polished your boots.”
He pulled her closer. “Do you know how much I love you?” He pressed his lips to her temple. “Thank you, babe, but next time you get the urge to polish something, I’ve got a very willing body part.”
She smiled, but her worries drowned his attempt at levity. “I’ll tend to that body part after I tend to this one.” She put her hand over his heart.
He placed his hand over hers. “It’d be easier to deal with the other.”
He went on to tell her what he’d learned from Frank, and her heart broke more with each fact as it was revealed. By the time he was done, he sounded exhausted, and she was speechless. So many things that Reed had believed weren’t true. It wasn’t lost on her that Frank was in the same situation. Her heart broke for Frank as much as it did for Reed.
She climbed into his lap and held him. “I’m so sorry. But I don’t understand. You look just like the pictures of him. How could that be?”
“The world’s full of brown-haired guys, babe. He’s not my father. He seemed pretty damn sure of it.” He touched his forehead to hers and said, “Just tell me what we have is real.”
“We’re real, Reed. We’ve always been real.”
He was quiet for a long time before saying, “I went from thinking I was abandoned by my father to being an orphan. It’s going to take some time for me to come to terms with this.”
“But you’re not really an orphan. I mean, you are in one sense, but Roy and Ella adopted you, and they love you so much.”
“Absolutely. I didn’t mean to undermine everything they’ve done for me. I just meant…”
“I know what you meant, and I understand how much that must hurt. Do you think you’ll tell Roy and Ella the truth?”
He shook his head. “I’ve been trying to figure that out, but what will they gain from knowing that my mother might have loved another man who is no longer around? I’ll tell them about Frank’s illness and that he just couldn’t handle being a father after he lost my mother. I believe that’s the truth of it, anyway. I’ll never know if he would have done the same thing regardless of if I was his son or not.”
He sat up straighter, inhaling deeply as he rolled his shoulders back, as if he were searching for a comfortable position to carry this new weight. “I’d like to call them and see if I can stop by later today, get it out in the open before the barbecue tomorrow. I’d really like for you to come with me.”
“Of course. I know you’ll probably have a million unanswered questions forever, but at least it sounds like Frank loved you both more than he loved himself. He did what he thought was best for your well-being, and he kept a secret for the woman he loved, despite being heartbroken.”
He looked out over the yard, and when his eyes found her again, they were softer, a little less pained. “Is it strange that I feel a connection to him? Maybe I should be angrier, but it took a hell of a lot of courage to come forward when he didn’t have to. Especially given his poor health.”
“I don’t think it’s strange. You believed he was your father your whole life, and in some ways he kind of was. He was the one taking care of your mother when she was pregnant, and in that sense, he was also taking care of you. I think you’re going to feel all sorts of things, good and bad, toward him, and maybe toward your mother, too, for a long time. It might come and go, but whatever it is, whatever it becomes, we’ll get through it.”
“Thanks, baby,” he said softly, embracing her again. He looked down at his mother’s journal and said, “Do you think it’s possible to love two people at once? Could my mother have loved Frank and this other man? Frank didn’t know his name or anything about him other than that he was a musician.”
“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “Maybe for some people? I’ve only ever been in love with one man, and nobody else has ever come close. I can’t imagine it, but…” She shrugged. “In your mother’s journal, she sure sounded like she loved Frank, and she thought of him as your father, didn’t she?”
“Yes. That’s why I asked. I can’t see things very clearly right now.”
“Don’t take this wrong, but I don’t know that it really matters. She loved one man enough to create you, and she loved another enough to make a life with him for you. That’s a lot of love for a woman who was only on this earth a short period of time.” She wound her arms around his neck and said, “I’m just glad she had you. I love you, Reed. And I’ll be here for you no matter how hard this gets.”
BY THE TIME Reed and Grace went to see Roy and Ella, Reed was in a little better place than he had been earlier. He was far from okay, but he and Grace had spent the day alternating between conversations about Frank, the Majestic, and sheer nonsense. Reed had been glad for the distractions, and for the serious conversations, too. Grace had received a call from Satchel that had put her on edge—and she was right, she was a bit whirlwindish after the call, like the Tasmanian devil, but it had endeared her to him even more. After she’d vented, Reed had swayed the conversation toward the play she was putting together with Nana and the others, and that had put her in a better mental space, too. If Reed had learned anything over the years, it was that life didn’t come without trials and tribulations. He never considered himself someone who needed anyone. But being with Grace, talking through his most intimate problems with someone who knew him so well, and being there for her when she was at her wit’s end, had him redefining the meaning of “need.”
He looked around the patio table at Roy and Grace as Ella came outside with a plate of cookies, and he realized he needed all three of the people he was with.
Ella set the plate on the table and glanced at Roy, who had been watching Reed like a hawk. Reed had told them the reason for his visit when he’d called earlier, and he knew they were waiting for him to say something about Frank.
“Your favorite,” Ella said to Reed as she took the seat
between him and Roy. “Coconut cranberry.”
Grace wrinkled her nose. “I might have to rethink this relationship. What happened to chocolate chip?”
“Darlin’, if that’s his biggest downfall, you’re doing pretty well.” Roy snickered and winked at Reed.
That single wink sent Reed’s gut into a tizzy. He’d never been one for keeping secrets, and now that he was looking into his relatives’ eyes—blood-related relatives he could count on—Frank’s secret threatened to claw its way out.
“So, you went to see Frank?” Ella said as conversationally as if she’d said he’d gone to work like any other day. “I’m proud of you, honey. That couldn’t have been easy.”
Reed sat back, worrying with his hands, and realized it was exactly what Frank had done. That gave him pause, and just as quickly he realized he had to stop thinking of Frank as if he were his father, and pressed his palms to his thighs. Grace put her hand on his, as if she realized he didn’t know what to do with them.
“It was anything but easy,” he agreed, “especially since I blasted him the second I first walked in.”
Ella winced. “Oh, honey.”
Roy’s brows knitted, but he said nothing.
Reed told them about the contents of the shoe box, how upset he’d been when he’d arrived at the hotel, and finally, about Frank’s illness. “He’s not who I thought he was. Well, he is. He left me behind, but after talking with him, I’m conflicted, because I can see how losing my mother was too much for him.”
Roy’s chin fell to his chest, his eyes trained on Reed. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I seem to remember you taking off after you lost the love of your life, too.”
Reed glanced at Grace, the truth in Roy’s words hitting him hard.
“Love’s a powerful thing,” Roy said. “I admit, when Frank came here looking for you the other day, my first thought was to give him hell. I was madder than a mouse in a hornet’s nest about him leaving you behind and showing up just that once. But then I saw him, and he looked like all his gumption had bled out.”
Reed waited for him to say more, and when he didn’t, he said, “What did you do?”
“We invited him in for tea,” Ella said carefully. “He’s punished himself for years, and he’s nearing the end of a very hard, very lonely life. What good would it have done for us to beat him down further? He knows…Instead, we gave him something to brighten the days he has left. We talked about you, Reed, and the incredible little boy you were, the inquisitive, smart young man you were, and the honorable man you’ve become. We talked about your mother, how much she loved him and how much she was looking forward to raising you. And then we thanked him for trusting us with his son.”
For the millionth time that day, Reed struggled against emotions clogging his throat. He looked at Roy and said, “You didn’t think to tell me that when you saw me after he stopped by my house?”
“Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.” Roy tossed another wink as he threw Reed’s words back at him.
“We didn’t want to influence the way you handled the situation,” Ella explained. “It wouldn’t have been fair. He gave us a chance at parenthood, but he took something bigger than that from you.”
Not telling them the truth about his father felt like a betrayal to the people who had always offered him unconditional love and support. But telling them felt like a betrayal to the mother he never knew and to Frank, a man who had given him clarity, honesty, and history he would probably never have learned otherwise.
He took a moment to simply breathe, which wasn’t something he felt like he’d done enough of since Frank had shown up at his house. He was adrift in a sea of emotions and truths he hadn’t been prepared for, and it seemed there were lifelines everywhere if he looked hard enough. All Frank had wanted was to tell Reed the truth before he died. But maybe Reed needed more of a relationship with him, even if Frank wasn’t his real father. He had a feeling Frank wouldn’t fight that and might even welcome it. Roy and Ella would stand by him no matter what. Even if he kept this secret, he knew they’d forgive him for it, because that’s what parents did.
Roy watched him expectantly, the ever-present father who would worry about him until the day he was no longer able. Ella had lost her sister and gained a son, and she was an incredible mother. He’d hurt for a long time over choices other people had made, and he didn’t want to hurt either of them. He was damn sick of hurting. For the first time ever, he no longer wondered why his father had given him up. It was time to start healing. What healing actually meant, he wasn’t sure, but he knew that he couldn’t—that Roy and Ella couldn’t—even begin to heal if he opened a new wound.
He felt the pull of Grace’s loving gaze. The brightest lifeline of all. His sweet Gracie offered everything the others did—unconditional love, support, honesty, history, clarity—and so much more. She was his past, his present, and hopefully his future.
He took her hand in his and said, “If Frank’s visit taught me one thing, it’s that life is too short to dwell on the past or on what-ifs. I don’t know what will happen with Frank, or anything, for that matter. But I know we have tonight, the four of us, and tomorrow our families are getting together, and those are things I’ve waited a long damn time to enjoy.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
GRACE WAS MESMERIZED by Tuck Wilder, the twenty-six-year-old guitarist in Sable’s band who was auditioning for the lead role in the community play, I Ain’t No Cinderella. She’d known Tuck since they were kids. He’d had a rough life, and it showed in his cold, dark eyes as he strutted across the auditorium of No Limitz, nailing the attitude and badass vibe for the role perfectly. They’d been holding auditions all afternoon and had already cast several of the supporting roles. If only off-Broadway plays were this easy to produce. She’d been battling with Keagen all week, and his threats to walk away from the play had the investors up in arms.
As Tuck finished his audition, Grace scribbled a few notes. He was the last audition of the day. Grace thanked him and said they’d send out email notifications for the roles as they made decisions. They had auditions booked through next Saturday evening, and she was leaving the day after that. She had a feeling they just might get the casting set by then.
“His voice inflection is perfect,” Janie said. “What does he look like?”
After Tuck left the auditorium Lauryn said, “He’s beautiful, with rich cocoa skin and soulful eyes, but he gives off a tough, edgy vibe.”
“He’s our bad boy,” Phoenix said. “No doubt about it.”
“You got that right,” Hellie agreed. “The poor young man has had it hard. I think that band is about all that holds him together. I want to bring him home and start all over. Give him the parental love he never had.”
Good luck with that. Tuck’s parents were as gruff as could be, and there was no doubt his grit was as much a part of him as the blood that ran through his veins. The perfect male lead for the play.
“I say we cast him, but that might mean Sable’s band won’t be able to help with the music,” Grace said. “All for it?”
Everyone chimed in with affirmations.
“Oh goodness, I have to run!” Nana said as she began gathering her notes. “I didn’t realize it was so late. Poppi and I are going to the Jerichos’ jam session. Tonight’s the night Phoenix and Lauryn are playing their instruments. You know Poppi; he’ll want to dance to every song.” She sighed dreamily. “I’m a lucky lady. Grace, don’t you have your family barbecue tonight? I don’t want your parents getting upset with us for monopolizing you. They get so little time with you.”
Grace had been to so many jam sessions at the Jerichos’ barn when she was younger she wouldn’t typically feel a desire to go. But now that she was getting more involved in the community, she was excited to spend time with the people who had reached out to help with the play. And knowing how Phoenix and Lauryn had supported each other to finally get up the courage to play i
n front of everyone, she felt a pang of disappointment about missing it. At least she didn’t feel guilty about not spending time with her family as she had in the past.
“I’m sorry I’ll miss your debut,” Grace said to Phoenix and Lauryn. “Maybe someone can video it for me?”
“My mom’s videoing it for our family’s Facebook group,” Lauryn said. “I’ll send it to you. I’m so nervous I’ll mess up.”
“That’s perfect, and you’ll do great. Just remember, if you mess up, nobody will know but you. Just ad-lib—that’s what actors do. Pretend it’s part of the song.” Grace gave her a quick hug. “And, Nana, my family is probably getting sick of me by now. Reed and I had breakfast with my parents and Sable this morning. Sable’s apartment is finally done being renovated. We helped her move back in after breakfast.” She loved being part of her family’s lives instead of just hearing about them. She would miss them when she returned to the city.
After the others left, Grace stopped by Haylie’s office and peeked her head in. Haylie and Sin, the athletic director, were deep in conversation. “Hey, guys. Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to say thanks again for letting us use the auditorium. We’re done for the day. Sorry we stayed so late.”
“No worries,” Sin said. “We’re closing up early so we can go to the jam session. I hear it’s going to be wild tonight.”
“Phoenix and Lauryn are playing. I’m sure it’ll be fun.” They talked for a few more minutes, and then she texted Reed to tell him she was on her way home. Her father had asked Reed to help with a repair in the barn, so they were meeting at her parents’ house anyway, but she hated being late for something her mother had worked so hard to prepare for.
Grace was the last one to arrive. Add another layer to the guilt cake.
She parked on the street, and as she climbed from her car, the sounds of laughter and familiar voices filled her ears. Reed’s deep voice was easy to pick out. Reba and Dolly greeted her with slobbery kisses to her bare legs. She crouched, and her messenger bag slipped from her shoulder. Why did she even have it? She wasn’t going to work during dinner. Old habits die hard. Reba stuck her nose into Grace’s bag, knocking Grace on her butt and causing papers to slip out.
Embracing Her Heart Page 23