Heart & Soul

by Sienna Grant

  “Elliott, please don’t say things like that.”

  “It’s just the truth, babe.”

  “Okay, fine. How about Monday, once Cam has gone off to school, I’ll meet you in the cafe in the village around nine-thirty?”

  “Yep, that suits me.”

  “Right then, I’ll see you Monday.”

  “See you Monday. Oh, and if it means anything I’m glad we can be friends.”

  “Me too, Elliott. See you at work.”

  “Bye Cass.”

  I click the call button and rest my phone on the arm next to me. Dale has gone out, so I have some time to myself.

  Grabbing my guitar from my room, I sit on the couch. Getting myself situated, I place the guitar on my legs as I take the plectrum from between my teeth with my thumb and index finger and begin to work the strings. Automatically the notes to Always by Bon Jovi sound out - this was our song, mine and Cassidy’s. It brings back so many memories of when we were kids, sitting up on my bed in my bedroom, this bed, this very bedroom, her head lay on my thigh, her dark hair fanned out around her - I remember it like it was yesterday.

  I wake up a few hours later with a stiff neck from my head being propped up against the bars in the headboard. My guitar is half lying on me and the bed where it’s slipped off me as I’ve slept. Rolling from the bed, I wipe the sleep from my tired eyes and stand, placing my guitar in the corner and use the bathroom. Lifting my wrist up closer to my face I squint to see the time, one forty-five a.m. Shaking my head I strip down to my boxers and crawl into bed, finding sleep again as soon as I’ve got myself comfy.

  Work was a lot more pleasant tonight knowing that Cass and I were on speaking terms again, but every smile I got, or every sweet-sounding giggle she made, Carson scowled. What the fuck is his problem?! Fuck it, I do my set, but I don’t stay for a beer after instead, I grab my leather after putting my gear in the car and walk back in to tell them I’m off.

  Carson and I shake hands then I turn to Cassidy. “I’m off. Are you okay to get home?”

  “Yeah thanks, I have my car outside.” I nod and smirk but don’t look away.

  “No private places...remember. Your rules, Mr. Chase.” She winks and my head shakes with a grin. A glimmer of the sixteen-year-old I fell in love with makes an appearance and I can’t help but pine for what I lost. Her striking blue eyes, encased with long black eyelashes stand out against her blonde hair and pale skin, her lips glisten as she licks them to rid the dryness I expect. I still think If I hadn’t have listened to her mother maybe we would still be together. I could have sorted the rest myself, but by the time I’d stayed away for a year, one rolled into the next and it got harder to come back.

  She stares up at me, her gaze holding mine, if I could kiss her right now I would, I’d kiss her and not let go and make up for lost time, the other night just wasn’t enough. My hand reaches out...

  A cough from the side of us breaks the trance and Carson is tapping his fingers on the bar, stopping me.

  “Right then I’ll be off. See you in the morning.” I smile and turn on my heel.

  The door opens before I get to it, my forehead pulls into a frown, Carson mustn’t have locked the door.

  “Matt, what are you doing here?” Cass asks seemingly confused.

  Fuck, I forgot about him - the little weasel. He glares at me as he walks past me and stands before Cassidy.

  “I’ve come to pick you up.”

  “But I’ve got my car.” She frowns.

  I’m not leaving now until I know she’s okay. Leaning against the frame of the door I wait.

  “You know I bring my car to work and I’m just finishing up and heading home.”

  “I’ll follow you home.”

  “She’s a big girl you know,” I say just to piss him off. He turns to me then with an aggravated look on his face.

  “I suppose you thought you were going to take her home?”

  “What’s your fucking problem?”

  “She’s seeing me not you.”

  I laugh at the stupidity of it all. I laugh because this little dick doesn’t know the first thing about me or Cass he just thinks he does.

  “Wow. I better stay away then... hadn’t I?”

  Walking towards him, I stare him down, I see the bravado he had just a few seconds ago start to diminish as I tower over him.

  “Matt, come on. We need to talk anyway.”

  She drags him from the bar by his hand and I laugh.

  “You’re a sick bastard,” Carson says with a shake of his head. I shouldn’t taunt him I know this, but he shouldn’t piss me off either.

  “What’s going on between you and Cassidy?”

  “Let’s just say we’re on mutual ground... for now. Later.” Walking back to the door I lift my hand above my head in a wave and head out, my eyes flick around but Cassidy’s car has gone I’m pleased to say so I get in the car and go home.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Cassidy

  I kind of forgot about Matt with this whole business with Elliott. Matt was only a casual thing, not that I’ve ever been okay with casual sex, but he didn’t want a relationship, he said he didn’t have time for one, and I was lonely. But then I never expected Elliott to turn back up and if I’m true to my heart there’s only really ever been Elliott.

  Pulling on the drive I park up and turn off the engine. Matt’s blue Audi pulls comes to a stop on the kerb and cuts the engine. What the hell was he thinking turning up at the bar, facing off with Elliott like that? Moron.

  Stepping from my car I go to his and tell him to come in, so I can relieve my mother from babysitting Cam. Opening the front door, I step in and walk straight through to the living room.

  “Hey, Mum. How’s Cam been?” Rousing her as she opens her eyes on the sofa.

  “Oh hello, darling. He’s been good as gold.” she sees Matt follow me in, “right I’ll be off then.”

  I smile at her as she stretches and stands from the couch. She kisses me on the cheek and walks towards the front door, seeing her out.

  “Thanks, Mum.” I’m not looking forward to telling her about Elliott, but I know I’m going to have to very soon. She walks towards her car but stops just short of it and turns back.

  “Did you know that Elliott is back?”

  “I did, yes.”

  “Oh, just thought I’d mention it.”

  “Bye Mum.”

  It’s too late to get back into this and I know she’s only been listening to town gossip anyway, it’s what she does best. Since my Dad left a few years back, she’s got worse.

  Matt inches forward and with his hands on my arms, he kisses my cheek. Pulling away from him I edge away.

  “Sit down, we need to talk.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “I can’t see you anymore.”

  “Why?” He stares at me waiting for an answer. “Is it him?”

  “If you mean is it because of Elliott then maybe, in a way.”

  “It either is or it isn’t?”

  “Hang on, Matt. You didn’t want a relationship, either remember. Elliott is Cameron’s father and I don’t want things getting messy. It’s best if I don’t see you anymore. You only come here when it suits you anyway. We can be friends if that’s what you want.”

  “You know that never works out.”

  He looks almost gutted that I’m breaking it off.

  “You know we could’ve been good together.”

  He moves towards me and strokes a finger down the side of my face. Pulling my head away I move from him.

  “How about one last time before I leave.” Where is this coming from? I spin to look at him, he’s serious. His eyes seem kind of manic and I don’t know how to react to this.

  “How about no!” I scowl at him letting him know how adamant I am. Stepping away from him until I’m stood by the living room window. The curtains are still open, Mum always leaves them op
en until I get in from work. Looking out into the night so I don’t have to face him. I feel his presence behind me, his hands sit on my hips, his grip tight as he pulls me roughly into him rubbing his erection against me, his fingertips digging into me holding me in place.

  “Matt, you’re hurting me.”

  I’ve been trying to be polite and let him down gently but he’s starting to piss me off now. My son is upstairs and if he thinks I’m putting up with this shit he can think again.

  “You know you like it.” His voice is hoarse in my ear as he whispers.

  “Matt. I’m warning you, get your hands off me.”

  Feeling his lips touch my neck is the last straw, grabbing his fingers, I try to remove them by lifting them one by one, but it doesn’t work. When he doesn’t move them himself, I pull back my arm, ramming my elbow into his gut, his grip loosens, an ‘oomph’ coming from him so I move away quickly.

  “Get out!” I shout as I fume. He bends over as he tries to gather his breath again after winding him.

  “Now leave!”

  “You’re nothing but a slut, I thought you were different to the others but you’re just the same.”

  I march to the front door and stand with it open. When he reaches me he stops, he reaches out to my face, his index finger making a path down the side of my face.

  “See you around,” he tells me with a smirk on his smarmy face.

  “I doubt it.”

  I shut the door behind him trying not to slam it because of Cameron upstairs. Blowing out a breath, I walk back to the living room on shaky legs, sitting down before they buckle at the knees. My hands begin to shake of their own accord, so I sit on them to stave it. I never thought he could be like that, in all fairness I don’t know much about him at all when I think back. I met him at work, he was a customer. We hit it off and became friends until we’d both had too much to drink and slept together but it was never anything serious, he didn’t want serious so why act like that?

  Turning the shower on I stand under the spray and let the water run over my body ridding me of him. The thought that he could have done much worse running through my mind, while my son sleeps upstairs. That thought alone is enough to make the tears form in my eyes, but I refuse to let them go. He won’t reduce me to that, he’s gone and that’s all that matters. I’m not going to dwell on the what if’s because then I’ll think the worst.

  I wash my hair and body, rinse off and grab my robe from the back of the door, wrap it around me as tight as I can and wrap my hair in a smaller one. The steam escapes out of the door from having it so hot as I walk out of the bathroom but at least I feel better and the shaking has stopped now.

  Before going to my own room, I open the door to Cam’s room, enter and crouch at the side to watch him sleep for a few minutes.

  My boy.

  Quietly, I leave the room pulling the door to and after putting on some shorts and a vest top, I towel dry my hair and put it up in a high messy bun and crawl into bed. The smell of Elliott’s aftershave is still on my sheets and with that comfort, I drift to sleep.

  The next morning is one big rush, I oversleep, which means Cam does. I quickly shake him awake. “Cameron, wake up.”

  “Do I have to get up?” he groans as he rouses.

  “Yes, you do! It’s eight o’clock, we’re late!”

  I leave him to get up as I place his freshly ironed uniform on his games chair.

  “Uniforms on the chair, get up,” I shout to him as I leave the room. Downstairs I prepare his cereal and make coffee for me as he drags his arse down the stairs and sits at the table. Rubbing the top of his head I bend and kiss the top of it.

  “While you eat that, I’m going to get dressed okay?”

  Nodding at me as he puts a spoonful of porridge into his mouth, I leave him to it.

  I throw on a pair of jeans, a jumper, my Ugg boots and try then to do something with the bird nest I call hair. I brush it through, but it has so many kinks in it, I decided to just brush it back into a ponytail, secure it with the elastic and leave it. Next, I have a quick wash and brush my teeth, I rub some moisturiser into my face, then put a little mascara on and some bronzer on my cheeks to take the paleness from them, giving me a healthy glow. I go downstairs to see if Cam has finished.

  When he’s not in the kitchen I go in the living room to see him lounging on the couch watching Nickelodeon.

  “Cam you’re going to miss the bus.”

  “Ugh. I don’t want to go.” He groans again but doesn’t shift from the hypnotic trance he’s in watching the telly.

  “Tough you have to. I have things to do today so, come on get a move on.”

  A knock on the door comes right on cue.

  “That’s your friends. Shoes!”

  I pick his shoes up from the corner in the hallway and drop them in front of him. I open the door and tell the boys to give him a second and grab his rucksack, putting in his packed lunch, an extra packet of crisps with a drink for break and pass it to him, then shoo him out of the door.

  “See you later.”

  He lifts his hand and walks from the house with his friends. Closing the door, I grab my coffee from the kitchen and find it’s gone cold, so I make another. I have half an hour before I have to go out to meet Elliott, so I sit down and drink it in silence.

  I hate Mondays!

  Parking the car in the car park at the back of the town, I walk around to the cafe. The parking outside is crap, it’s tight and gets filled up in no time. Opening the door, I see Elliott isn’t here yet, so I grab a table, it’s not too busy so that’s good. I wait for Elliott to come before I order. I sit facing the door, so I can see out of it and do some people watching...

  A small gasp escapes from me as he pushes open the door. He has his light blue ripped jeans on with a white t-shirt stretching across his chest, his leather jacket with his baseball cap on his head. He stops by the table. “Hey.”

  “H... hi.” I stuttered trying to get my voice to work.

  “Have you ordered yet?” I shake my head not trusting my voice again. He moves to walk away but stops, I smell his aftershave lingering around me as his husky voice is in my ear. My breathing hitches, “coffee and a full breakfast?”

  I nod again. “you can breathe now,” he whispers to me but then moves away from me. The only way I know that is because the heaviness of his breathing has shifted and the scent that was strong is now a subtle aroma.

  I make sure to pull myself together before he returns to the table otherwise I’ll be one hot mess, it’s going to be hard enough sitting opposite him.

  He takes his seat and smiles at me. Please don’t do that. I smile back hoping he can’t read my thoughts. He takes his cap off, his hair is a mess underneath, a giggle sounds from my mouth as he frowns.

  “What?”

  “Your hair’s a mess.”

  He rubs his palm over his head trying to calm it down.

  “Yeah, I couldn’t be arsed to do it, so I stuck my cap on instead.”

  “It’s adorable.”

  “Please, I’m not adorable. I’m manly.” He laughs.

  You’re so much more than that. I’m in so much trouble with him being back. The coffees get brought over and the breakfasts follow shortly after.

  “So, how are we going to play this?”

  Lingering my stare, a beat too long at his lips moving, all sense slips away from me.

  “Earth to Cass?”

  “What? Did you say something?”

  Elliott smirks. He knows exactly what’s running through my mind and at a rapid pace too.

  “You know Cass, we can take this somewhere more private if you want to, just say the word, baby.”

  Clearing my throat, I bring myself out of my own bubble and get down to business. Rolling my eyes at his comment I gulp some of my coffee, squirt some ketchup onto my breakfast and eat first.

  “Eat your breakfast, I know how you get when
you don’t eat.”

  “I might have changed?”

  An eyebrow raises, “I doubt that,” he smiles but tucks into his breakfast.

  “They’ll be sick of seeing me, I was only in here on Saturday with Dale.”

  We eat in silence until the clatter of the knife and fork hitting the plates disturbing it.

  “So, I’ll ask again. How do you want to play this?” He wipes his sexy mouth with a serviette and picks up his cup.

  “How about you pop around one day after school? That way you can meet him, and we can decide where to go from there. Tuesdays he has football after school so that’s out, how about a Thursday?”

  “Sounds good to me.” He nods.

  “It may not be this week, I need to talk to Cam first.”

  “Yeah definitely. Wow, I’m gonna meet my son, properly.” His face takes on a look of amazement, I feel so guilty now after seeing him like this.

  “I’m sorry.”

  His gaze cuts to mine as I frown and look down at the table from his scrutiny. “I should have told you.”

  “Hey, stop that. Yes, I’m sorry for the ways things worked out and yes, I wish you had but I’ve got the blame in this too.”

  His hand covers mine on the table, the roughness of it sends tingles through me as my head lifts and our eyes meet across the table, his beholding, attentive. I enjoy the feel of his hand on mine for a while longer before pulling it away and placing it in my lap. His clenches into a fist before removing it from the table.

  “So, what did Matt the twat want last night?” Trying not to snigger is hard because after the way he behaved last night - he’s proved himself to be one.

  Elliott breaks the silence again.

  Hearing his name well, not his given name but it gets me thinking about Matt which I’ve managed to tuck away into my sub-conscience for now. Maybe I’ll make a voodoo doll and stick pins in it…

  “Oh, you know, nothing much.”

  “Nothing much? What happened?”

  “What you mean?”