We’re not finished.
A frisson of fear dripped down his spine.
Chapter 10
A heavenly aroma curled under the kitchen door, like perfume seeping from a bottle. Grace inhaled the fruit of the past two hours’ labor as she dusted the top of the mantle over the fireplace. Mmm. Blackberry pie and roast chicken. Hopefully it would please Raymond. Oh, how she wanted to do just that. To see his smile of appreciation as she dished out the dinner, hear his words of praise. He’d made her feel so special, what with the dancing and picnics and all. It was high time she did something for him.
She’d wear her new dress tonight, too. Made from fabric purchased on a whim, it wasn’t the typical serviceable frock she usually chose. When she first tried on the rosepink frock, she twirled in front of the mirror like a little girl playing princess. In it she felt beautiful, like a woman worthy of Raymond’s hand. Perhaps there, too, she’d gain his smile of appreciation.
A tune danced on her lips as she dusted, rearranging the candlesticks and scattering the cobwebs.
“Fancy brings a thought to me …”
“So the little housewife is hard at work at her labors.”
Grace spun around. The chair almost toppled. Her heart boomed in her ears.
Audrey stood in the doorway, one gloved hand draped casually on the sofa’s edge. Her too-red lips curled into a smile without warmth.
Grace clambered off the chair.
“Audrey … you startled me.” She approached her sister and managed a smile.
The prodigal had come home. Yet unlike the prodigal son, her sister still looked as elegant and well cared for as when she left. The gown draping her reedlike frame was new.
The look in her eyes was not.
“Sorry, little sis.” Audrey responded to Grace’s smile with all the enthusiasm one might show upon greeting a prickly cactus. “The door was unlocked, so I just came in.” She crossed the room, looking this way and that. “Nice place. Not half as bad as I feared it would be. But perhaps you’ve been cleaning it.” She swiped her gloved finger across the edge of the tea table, sniffed.
Grace hurried to push the chair she’d been standing on back against the wall. Why had Audrey returned? Everything in her letter suggested she planned never to do so. Oh, please no. Her sister couldn’t possibly have come back for Raymond. Could she? A cold ball of dread curdled her stomach.
Audrey sank down on the sofa, her skirt billowing around her. “So tell me, little sis. Does marriage agree with you?”
Grace pressed her hand against the edge of the stone fireplace. “I am perfectly happy here.”
“Of course.” Audrey leaned forward, lowering her voice to a stage whisper. “You’re not truly married, are you?”
A flush flamed Grace’s face.
“I thought not. Which suits me perfectly, as I have every intention of having him back.”
In a single moment Grace’s gossamer dreams crumbled to powder at her feet. Their quiet dinner. Her words of love. Those brown-eyed children. All of it would never come to be. Because Audrey had come back. Audrey wanted Raymond.
And Audrey always got what she wanted.
Grace swallowed back the hard knot rising in her throat. There was no way she’d give her sister the satisfaction of seeing her cry.
“What do you mean?” She lowered herself into a chair.
“Don’t look so pale, Grace. It doesn’t suit your already wan complexion. You needn’t be alarmed. In fact, I’m very happy with you. You’ve done your duty to the family and saved us from disgrace. You’ve been a good little housekeeper to Ray while I’ve been away. But I’ve repented of my indiscretion and don’t ever intend for it to happen again. I want to go through with my promise to marry Ray, and I’m going to do it as soon as possible.”
“You forget, he married me.” She needed to concentrate on breathing calmly. In. Out. In. Out.
“An annulment can easily be granted, if you say what I tell you to. I’ve already thought it all out.” Audrey propped her feet on the tea table. “Running off with Murphy was a mistake. He said he’d make me a star in his show, but all I ever did was cook, clean, and do his laundry. I hated every minute of it. So I left.” She pulled something from her handbag, something long and white. Grace’s eyes widened as Audrey struck a match and put the cigarette to her lips, blowing a hazy curl of smoke.
“Don’t look so shocked, little sis. Ladies can smoke now. Perhaps not in public but discreetly.”
“Father would lock you up for a month of Sundays if he saw you with that thing!” Grace strode to the window and pushed it open.
“Then it’s a lucky thing he isn’t here now, isn’t it?” Audrey laughed.
Grace shivered. Her sister was wild before she went away, but wherever she’d been had turned her into a cyclone. Swirling in, bent on destruction, leaving the wreckage behind her. Now she’d come for Raymond. Would he still have her?
She studied Audrey. Her almond-shaped eyes fringed with sooty lashes. Her poise and glitter. A hothouse rose beside a roadside wildflower.
Which would Raymond chose?
Oh, if only she’d spoken earlier. If he knew of her feelings, she might still have a chance. But she’d been silent and shy, as closemouthed as an oyster. Audrey would have no trouble winning him back.
“If it’s Dr. McNair you’ve come to see, he’s not in at the moment.” She raised her chin and tried for a measure of decorum.
“Attending to patients, yes. I’ve already spoken to him.” Audrey continued to smoke.
So the decision had been made. He’d already chosen. But …
“What did he say?” She couldn’t keep the desperation from her voice.
“My apologies, little sis.” Audrey stood and moved to the window. She flung a glance laden with false sympathy over her shoulder. “Men never did flock to you.”
He’d always been able to smell trouble a mile away.
The moment he entered his house it overpowered his senses like a barn full of manure. Audrey Whittaker lounged on his sofa, her hat off, her jacket unbuttoned, and a man-killer smile on her pouty lips. Grace was nowhere in sight.
The hour of reckoning had come. Not a minute sooner than he anticipated. Audrey never did waste any time.
He’d set things straight with her once and for all. In the past hours at his office he’d had sizable time to think. About his courtship with Audrey. His marriage to Grace. The two women. One, vibrant as a butterfly, but inside pure selfishness prevailed. The other, his sparrow, as timid and unassuming as they came but with a faith in God and a love for others far more precious than rubies. The one woman dazzled his senses, stirred his lust. The other won his respect and slowly, but truly …
His heart. His love. The overwhelming desire to turn their marriage into something more, to have her by his side every minute of every day. The realization had come upon him suddenly, like a smack in the face, yet the more he thought about it, the more he realized it had been there all along. Coming softly. Surely.
It was time Audrey had a dose of reality.
“Hard day at the office?” She stood and sidled toward him. He wrinkled his nose. Why did his usually clean parlor smell of cheap cigarettes?
“Not particularly.”
She tugged at his tie with languid fingers. Gently, but firmly, he put her hands aside.
“Audrey, I want a word with you.”
“You do?” She smiled. “I want to talk to you, too.”
“I generally hold to ‘ladies first,’ but tonight I’m going to talk and you’re going to listen. Understood?” He took a seat on his sofa, and she flounced beside him.
“Go ahead, Ray.” She fingered the buttons on his shirt. “I’m all ears.”
“Stop that, please.” He placed her hands in her lap. “I want you to be serious now.”
“Oh, I am.” She giggled. “Utterly serious.”
“Good. Because I am, too.” He used the firm tone inherited from his da. “Au
drey, I gave my promise to marry you several months ago. And if you had stayed, by all means, I would have kept that promise. But you left, and by your leaving released me of any obligation. So I married someone else.”
“Yes, I know. My sister.” She frowned. Then instantly brightened. “I admire you, Ray, for wanting to uphold the honor of my family. It was dashing of you. But now that I’m here, we can continue our plans.”
“No.”
“No?” She bit her lip.
He stood. Where was Grace? Hopefully out visiting her father or shopping or something like that. Perhaps he could conceal this all from her, for a time. No need for her delicate heart to be wounded by Audrey’s careless hands. “No. After you left, I realized some things about you that I had been … rather blind to before. And although I once thought you a charming person, we would never be happy together.”
“Whyever not?”
“Because we don’t have the same values, you and I. We want different things out of our futures. I like the simplicity of life here, whereas you—”
“That never was a consideration before.” She narrowed her eyes. “There must be something else. Don’t give me these lame excuses. Tell me the real truth. It’s Grace, isn’t it? Honestly, Ray, you can’t really be in love with my sister.”
“Yes. It’s Grace.” He surveyed her, this sad, broken woman whom he could feel nothing but sympathy for.
She inhaled sharply. “You love her then?”
He nodded.
“And what about me?” Her tone held more vulnerability than he’d ever heard from her. But he wouldn’t believe it. Audrey Whittaker cared about one thing and one alone. Herself.
“I’m sorry if I wronged you, Audrey. I should never have consented to our courtship. I know now that it is character and not outward appearances that determines a person’s true worth, and I should have waited until I knew yours better. Then I would have saved both of us a great deal of disappointment.”
“I hope your conscience suffers forever because of it. You have treated me ill. After all, it was your Irish charisma that captured my simple, trusting heart.” She stood, drawing herself up. “You’ll regret this, Raymond McNair. One day you’ll look across the table at your mousey little wife and you’ll bitterly regret this.” She swished toward the door. “Don’t worry about me though. You’re not the only fish in the sea.”
He stood. How could two sisters be so different? Both in looks and disposition. Both had held a place in his heart. Only one would keep it.
“Have you seen Grace?”
“As a matter of fact, I have. We had quite a nice chat. She’s obviously as smitten with you as you are with her. Got all choked up when I told her of my designs upon you. She just ran out of the house. Haven’t seen her since.” She gave an offhand shrug. “Nice seeing you, Ray. I doubt we’ll have occasion to meet again.” The door clicked shut behind her.
Grace, gone? His heart started to race. He could see it now. Her startled expression upon seeing Audrey, the hurt she always tried so hard to hide. Undoubtedly, she thought he’d run straight into Audrey’s waiting arms.
Would his Rose of Tralee ever realize what a treasure she was?
God help him, she would when he found her.
Chapter 11
She should be used to this by now. Audrey, the favored sister. Beautiful, bright Audrey with the world dangling in her hand.
Once, on Grace’s thirteenth birthday, her aunt had given her a beautiful cameo pin. She’d always admired the brooch and had been delighted that her aunt deemed her grown up enough to possess such finery. She dreamed of passing it along someday to her own daughter or niece. Yet the moment their aunt was out of sight, Audrey had thrown a fit. Insisted that as the eldest Whittaker daughter, the brooch belonged to her. To keep the peace, Grace relented and gave her sister the cameo. Then she’d gone to the barn, curled up in the haymow, and sobbed her heart out.
Six years later, here she was again. Crying her heart out in a haymow because of what her sister had stolen. A different, but greater loss. One that stabbed at her like a spike. Driving deeper, deeper, deeper.
Would she ever have anything of her own? Something dear to her that would never be stolen? Perhaps she wasn’t worth it. Perhaps, like a pair of worn-out boots, she was only good enough for the rubbish heap. A castoff. There to clean up messes and make life smoother for those better than she.
She swallowed back a sob. All she ever wanted was to be special to someone. Anyone. She strove for it in school, with her friends, her father. Even Raymond. She’d always believed her happiness lay in the way others perceived her. When they looked favorably upon her, she looked favorably upon herself. But when they scolded or ignored her, she felt worse than the ashes in the coal scuttle.
“For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.”
Like a warm wind on a cloudy day, the verse swept through her mind. She’d always thought it applied only to babies, but suddenly it took on new meaning. She’d been fearfully and wonderfully made as an infant, and she was still. God had designed each of her days before they’d ever taken place. He loved her for who she was, not compared to those around her. He didn’t play favorites. He simply cared for her. Cherished her. Valued her.
Fresh tears filled her eyes. Even if Raymond chose Audrey and she never saw him again, God would still be there. Like a careful Father watching over his little girl, He never left her. Every moment in her marriage to Raymond He’d been there. Helping her through those first awkward days, giving her the strength to save a man’s life. Beside her as Raymond won her heart. Even today as Audrey had destroyed her future.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”
Perhaps this was why she lacked peace. Though she attended church week after week and read her Bible diligently, she’d expended her energy seeking the approval of others, instead of God’s. Why had she been so foolish? Pursuing what would never last and forsaking what would never leave.
“Lord, I’m sorry. I’ve desired other things more than You. The approval of others, the love of a husband. When all I should have been seeking is You. Please forgive me. Make Yourself real to me. I want to be Your daughter and to live like it, not just on Sunday but on Monday through Saturday, too. Help me to trust You, whatever happens to Raymond and me. If it is Your will that we go our separate ways, help me to accept that and to trust You for whatever comes next. Amen.”
Sobs shook her shoulders, and she covered her face with her hands. God might deem it best to take Raymond away forever. Perhaps she loved him too much. Whatever He decided, she would accept. Like a true daughter, she would bend to her Father’s will. Trust Him for whatever came.
Raymond’s face rose before her mind. His mesmerizing eyes with their magnetic twinkle. His grin. The way his arms had felt, clasped tight around her waist.
“Lord, if I can’t have him, then take my feelings away, too. Because if he chooses Audrey over me, I don’t know how I’ll ever face the heartbreak.”
Chapter 12
Warmth surrounded her like a cocoon. Hands stroked her hair. The musky scent of leather filled her senses. She never wanted to leave this dream, this sensation of being warm and loved and whole. Still, light tugged at her eyelids, urging her awake.
Grace opened her eyes. Her breath caught. Raymond lay beside her on the hay, leaning on his elbow
. Watching her. No wonder she’d been having such a wonderful dream.
Bits of straw clung to her hair, her dress. She hastily brushed them off. How long had he been here? What time was it?
“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.” A lazy smile angled his face. Straw clung to his hair, and she resisted brushing it away.
“Morning?” She’d been here all night? What about him?
“Yep. I considered carrying you home, but you looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to disturb you. I hope you’re not too cold.”
Cold? Not in the least. In fact, she couldn’t remember when she’d had a better night’s rest.
Then it all came crashing back. The events of yesterday. Audrey. Why was Raymond here and not with her?
“Does anyone else know we’re out here?”
He shook his head. “It took a bit of doing for me to get the barn door open. I don’t think the thing’s been oiled in years.”
“I guess I just shoved it. I was upset, and …” Her words trailed off. She shouldn’t be telling him that.
“I know.” Light from the broken window filtered over his features, illuminating his eyes, his hair, the loose lines of his linen shirt unbuttoned at the neck. “Audrey told me you’d run off.”
“Where is she now?” She could scarcely trust herself to say the words.
“I’m not sure. She left. She got angry.” He ran his fingers through his hair.
“Why?”
“We got into somewhat of an argument. She kept insisting she wanted our relationship to start again, and I kept telling her that was impossible. Everything is over between us.” He shifted closer to her on the straw, facing her. She swallowed hard, unwilling to meet his gaze. Over between them? A heady swirl of joy started in her heart and spiraled downward to the tips of her toes. He hadn’t chosen Audrey.
The Convenient Bride Collection: 9 Romances Grow from Marriage Partnerships Formed Out of Necessity Page 6