by Aj Estelliam
‘I heard about the little boy, Alex. I’m sorry he didn’t make it.’
I nodded slowly. ‘I can’t reconcile myself with it.’
‘No, of course you can’t! It’s the death of a child, no-one ever reconciles themselves with a death of a child.’
I looked at her kind eyes and smiled. ‘You’re going to make a wonderful mother, Fee,’ I told her softly.
Her eyebrows rose and she tilted her head, regarding me quizzically. ‘Is that something you ‘know?’
I nodded. ‘I can see you all…’ I revealed.
‘Tell me more,’ she said leaning forwards and clasping my hands with hers. ‘I love to hear these visions…they fill me with hope and longing. I can’t wait to be a mother you see.’
‘I know,’ I said warmly, squeezing her hand. I closed my eyes briefly and smiled to myself. ‘He’s a little boy,’ I told her quietly. ‘He looks just like Dan-with dark hair and wide eyes. He’s smiley though-he gets that from you…he has a kink in the top side of his ear-just like yours,’ I said, and then opened my eyes. I reached for the side of her face and tucked her long hair behind her ear, revealing the misshapen ear which she usually hid.
‘How on earth…?’ she breathed.
I shrugged. ‘I don’t know,’ I said on a chuckle. ‘I can see you two,’ I carried on, ‘exhausted and run ragged by the little fella,’ I laughed. ‘But you’re so happy and so in love.’
‘Do we get married?’ she questioned.
I nodded. ‘Yes, you do. I can see a ring on your finger,’ I said and then frowned.
‘What is it?’ she asked.
I closed my eyes again and focused on the image which had sprung to my mind. I looked closely and saw I was right.
‘Alex?’
‘It’s okay…I was just…I can’t see a ring on Dan’s finger because he can’t,’ I said slowly.
‘Why?’
I cocked my head, thinking about the image. ‘I don’t know exactly, but I think…I think his ring finger of the left hand gets damaged, hurt…something along those line,’ I told her, evading the complete truth I saw, ‘and so he can’t wear one.’
‘Well, that’s okay,’ she replied, ‘I don’t mind that!’
‘No,’ I smiled. ‘I’m sure you don’t.’
As she continued to talk, I couldn’t dismiss the strange sensation which had settled deep in my gut. I had seen something disturbing. Dan didn’t injure his finger, in fact what I had seen was no finger at all. His hand remained intact but his left ring finger was missing, all that was left was a stump. I wondered whether to warn him, but as I had seen it clearly, I wasn’t sure the new knowledge would even do him any good.
Dinner was a pleasant affair and we sat and made small talk-avoiding chat about the case or the baby. We were just two couples, sitting and sharing dinner. I found I liked it, and I enjoyed their company. It was rare for me to enjoy the company of another couple quite so much.
‘Oh, delivery,’ I said looking up from my dessert.
Everyone looked at me for a moment and then the doorbell sounded.
‘You’re just…’ Fee started and didn’t finish.
Captain Withers chuckled, used to me by now. ‘I’ll get it,’ he said standing.
He disappeared and when he returned carried flowers and a box.
‘Oh, Dan!’ Fee exclaimed. ‘You shouldn’t have!’
‘I didn’t!’ he told her, looking concerned. ‘Who are these from?’
‘Let’s have a look then!’ she said, reaching for the flowers.
‘Not seeing anyone else, are you?’ he questioned, frowning at her. He was joking but he was also unsure.
‘Don’t be silly, Dan…oh…no note,’ she murmured.
I watched as she placed the flowers down and reached for the box. An uneasy feeling crept through me as she pulled the bow undone.
My stomach turned a little and I pushed back from the table slowly, as if in slow motion.
‘Stop,’ I commanded her, standing quickly.
‘Oh, it’s just…’ she started, opening it and then screamed in absolute horror. I watched as she leapt from her seat and turned to the far wall, promptly keeling over and retching.
I moved around the table quickly, reaching for Fee and leading her out of the room and away. I didn’t need to join Dan and Jess in looking in the box to see the contents. I had already seen them. It was a finger.
Comforting Fee in the lounge, I sat wondering what it all meant. When Dan and Jess joined us, they were both looking perplexed.
‘Alex? Have you any idea what this means?’ Dan asked.
I shook my head. ‘I don’t know…’
‘You don’t know why it was sent to Fee?’ he wondered.
I shook my head, ‘Sorry, no. Short of touching it, I doubt I could find out…’
He looked at me hopefully.
‘Oh, Captain, no…it’s a mummified finger!’
He shifted his weight from foot to foot. ‘It’s actually a decayed finger…it looks like it’s owner has been dead for a long time.’
I wrinkled my nose and looked at Alex. ‘Do I have to touch a dead finger?’ I asked, feeling disgust.
She grimaced at me but I heard her thoughts.
‘You think I should!’
‘Well, I just…the forensic team is on its way…if we could get a lead…’ she trailed off.
‘Urgh,’ I said, disgusted. ‘This is just…’ I turned away, shaking my head.
Fee got my attention with a hand on my back.
‘Alex?’
I turned.
‘Am I in danger?’ she asked.
I laid my hand on hers and looked for answers. When they came, they were reassuring. ‘No, Fee…I see nothing to worry about whatsoever.’
‘Then why was I sent a finger?’ she asked.
I looked from her to the Captain and then from him to Jess. Groaning, I stood. ‘Come on then,’ I said, curling my lip, ‘let me touch this dead finger.’
Getting to my feet, I had to steel myself for what was coming.
We all went back to the dinner table where everything lay untouched. It was now a crime scene so had to be left where it was.
I sat down in Fee’s seat and peered over into the box where the finger lay dead and cold. I screwed up my face and looked at the three people watching me closely as if to say, ‘do I really have to do this?’
All three screamed ‘yes’ in their heads so I reached in and picked it up. It felt cold and bony and my stomach revolted and I had to swallow hard to prevent sickness. Just as sickness was threatening to take over, my vision blurred and I drifted.
I lay on the cold ground, unmoving. Above me, the night was dark and it was only the moon which illuminated the area. I could see a brick building, high to my left. As I looked to the right I saw a stone. Frowning in confusion, my eyes darted this way and that. A gravestone? Why was there a gravestone beside me?
It was then that I realised I wasn’t alone. A rustle of leaves, a movement beside me. I tried to move but couldn’t. I was bound at the legs and my arms were tied to something I couldn’t see.
Suddenly, a figure loomed above me and I could see the glint of cold, hard metal as an axe shone in the moonlight. I felt terror unlike anything I had ever experienced in my life before. As the axe rose, I felt the life ebb from my system.
I dropped the finger and came too.
‘What did you see?’ Jess asked immediately.
I looked up, blinking rapidly.
‘Alex?’ the Captain prompted.
‘She’s in a graveyard,’ I began.
‘She? Who?’ he asked.
‘I don’t know…another one…like the others…’
‘A woman?’ he asked.
‘Yes.’
‘And she’s been buried?’ he asked.
I frowned. ‘No, I…don’t know…I just saw the axe.’
Jess came to kneel beside me. ‘Alex, come on-wake-up. We need you to make sense
now. Explain to us what you saw so we can help this woman.’
‘Okay,’ I sighed. ‘I was tied to the ground with bindings. There’s a brick church on my left and a gravestone to my right. Then I can see the killer…’
‘You saw him?’ she asked, stunned.
‘Well, no…a figure all in black. He lifts an axe in the moonlight and then I didn’t see anymore.’
The Captain and Jess looked at each other and then back at me.
‘Do you think you can find her?’ Captain Withers asked.
I nodded, standing. ‘I’m going to try.’
Chapter 9
We all headed to the station, including Fee who would be protected by police while we investigated the reason why she had been sent the finger. By the time we had reached the station, a missing person’s report had been filed and we knew who we were looking for.
‘Her name is Deborah Fields,’ Captain Withers said, addressing the group who had been assembled quickly. ‘She’s local and was out at the leisure centre this morning. She had gone there to go swimming. When she didn’t arrive home by six, her husband called the police. She had been gone for over eight hours,’ he informed us.
I stared at the picture which was displayed. Deborah was a pretty, smiling woman who was blonde and blue eyes. She didn’t deserve such a fate, I thought to myself.
‘The other consideration is the fact that Deborah is pregnant,’ he revealed.
I gasped. I couldn’t help myself. To be buried alive was one thing; but to be buried alive with an unborn child inside, that was even worse.
‘How far along?’ I asked.
‘She’s twenty weeks,’ he said, his expression grim.
I met his eyes and I could hear his thoughts. He was thinking about Fee and their baby. This struck a deep chord with him which was very unsettling.
‘We’re sending out teams to work the local churches but we’re worried that more time has elapsed than in the other cases…we need as much help as possible now. Let’s go and find this woman.’
Everyone separated off and many left immediately to join the search. I headed to Captain Withers office with him and Jess to plan a course of action.
‘Any clues where to start?’ he asked.
‘Nothing other than what I told you already. A brick church…I didn’t get any other markers.’
He huffed a little, sounding frustrated. ‘We’ll just have to go from church to church. They’re all brick!’
‘I’m sorry, Dan. I don’t know anything else, yet.’
He nodded, looking sombre. ‘Let’s get moving. I’d hate for this woman to be lost in such an awful way…’
I frowned and looked at Jess. ‘Why would he take a pregnant woman?’
She shrugged. ‘Maybe he didn’t realise she was pregnant.’
‘At twenty weeks? Most women are showing by then…’
‘Maybe,’ she murmured. ‘But I don’t think all men pick up on that.’
I considered this for a moment while the Captain grabbed his coat and phone.
‘You ready?’ he asked.
I nodded. We headed out into the cold night once more.
I felt a horrible sense of déjà vu as we drove from church to church looking for a needle in a haystack. This was happening too often for my liking and I wanted to stop the criminal behind it. The trouble was, I was still getting no information about who that might be.
The hour grew late and at each churchyard it was the same. Quiet, deathly quiet…the bodies in the ground lay silent…dead. No life lay in the ground. It was the same story until we reached the eleventh church, some way out of town. When I got out of the car this time, I felt the hairs on my arm stand up. An awareness struck me, I looked to the graveyard as a current of electricity sparked through my veins.
‘I think we’re here,’ I said clearly, into the cold, night air.
‘Really?’ Jess answered, sounding surprised.
‘I…I feel something…’
‘Like what?’
‘Like…like…like there’s life here,’ I murmured, not knowing how to explain what I was feeling. ‘In all the other churches, I just felt death…as if nothing but dead bodies lay in the graveyard. Here, I feel like there’s more.’
‘Well come on! With no finger, she’s bleeding to death!’ Jess exclaimed.
I shook my head calmly, seeing it clearly now. ‘No, Jess.’
She frowned at me in the moonlight.
‘The finger was not from Deborah-don’t you remember-it was old…dead a long time…the finger was from the woman who lies beneath her,’ I revealed.
The Captain and Jess exchanged glances and I looked at them closely.
‘I don’t know what it all means, but it’s significant-or will be in time,’ I said mysteriously. ‘I’m sorry I can’t be clearer than that…’
‘Shall we just find her?’ Jess asked, looking frustrated.
I glared at her. ‘I am!’
‘Come on then,’ she muttered, turning to stomp across the grass.
I followed behind, watching Jess walk ahead of me across the graveyard. When she reached the centre, she stopped and turned. I stared at her open-mouthed.
‘What? Why are you staring at me like that?’ she asked moodily.
I looked to her feet. ‘You found her,’ I said in a small voice.
Jess moved as if struck by lightning. The ground beneath her feet had clearly been disturbed. This was the right spot.
Sudden action began from all around me. I was moved back to wait in the shadows; away from the drama and the horror of the scene. When Deborah was lifted from the ground alive, I breathed a sigh of relief. As I watched on though, I couldn’t ignore the shiver in my body and the sense of foreboding which crept over me as I looked back into the trees. Somewhere beyond, evil lay…and it was laughing at me.
Hours later we finally left the station and headed home. Deborah and the baby were safe and that was what mattered most of all. As Jess and I fell into bed exhausted, I found that although sleep came easily to Jess, it didn’t for me. I lay there wide awake, despite being very tired. I eventually gave up at around three in the morning.
Getting out of bed, I went downstairs and sat huddled in a dressing gown. Looking at my surroundings, I experienced a moment of doubt for a minute. Was I doing the right thing? Yes, I loved Jess-but moving away from the home I had always known to come to Scotland? I didn’t know if I could cope working crime after crime and seeing the evil people did to one another.
‘What are you doing up?’ a soft voice said.
I turned, not startled for I had heard her thoughts the moment she had woken up.
‘I couldn’t sleep,’ I told her.
‘Is it the case?’
I nodded, looking up at her.
She came to sit beside me and covered our knees with a large blanket to keep us warm.
‘Come on then,’ Jess said, encouraging me to talk.
‘What?’ I shrugged. ‘I just can’t sleep…’
‘It’s more than that. Alex, I know you now…’
‘Do you though?’ I asked, voicing my fears.
She stared at me, her eyes wide and beautiful. I had always been captivated by her eyes. They were such a clear green with flecks of golden brown. I knew I could stare at them for hours without becoming bored.
‘I just…’
‘What? You’re having second thoughts?’
‘No, Jess,’ I told her, ‘it’s just…I don’t know… this suddenly feels like too much too soon. I don’t know if I can do this…’
‘This being us?’
‘I don’t know…the case more…’
‘But you’re worried about me too?’ she asked.
‘No, I just feel overwhelmed, Jess.’
‘I get that-but you’ve got me!’
‘I know I have,’ I said, trying to get her to understand, ‘but what I deal with, I deal with alone. You can’t get inside my head and help me there.’
S
he sighed, looking frustrated. ‘Maybe not, but I can talk to you and help you to deal with the things you see that way.’
I looked at my hands.
‘You don’t think I can help you?’
I shook my head, ‘I don’t think anyone can.’
‘But I thought that was why we were going into this together? We’re a team, right?’
‘I…’
‘Alex? Is there something you’re not tell me? Have you seen something about us you’re not mentioning?’
‘No, there’s nothing, Jess. I’m just…I’m having a bit of a personal crisis right now. This thing I do-it makes no sense and I have no control over it. I’m dealing with people’s lives, Jess. People are dying and suffering and I can’t seem to stop it.’
‘But Alex; you’ve saved almost all of them.’
A single tear fell. ‘Almost…’
‘This is about Matthew?’
I wept, silently. ‘Why couldn’t I save him?’
‘It wasn’t your doing. He was dead before you even knew where to look.’
I met her eyes. ‘What’s the good of this gift if it can’t prevent things like that though?’
‘Alex; you’ve prevented all those other women’s deaths-Rachel, Gina and Deborah. If it wasn’t for you, three women would be freshly rotting in graves that we would never have ever found them. Just imagine it-we have three missing women-would we search by digging up grave yards? I don’t think so.’
I met her eyes and considered this. ‘You know I have no idea what this crime is about or how to stop it?’
She nodded. ‘I know that.’
‘That doesn’t bother you?’
‘I’m the police. It’s my job to try and figure that one out-not you.’
‘Then why do I feel like people are looking at me to be the hero.’
‘Because you’re putting that pressure on yourself. I think you feel like you have to do this all alone because of last time. This is different-don’t make this all about you.’
I looked down at my hands. ‘I feel on edge all the time, I can’t sleep and I don’t feel like eating. Is this what my life has become?’
She looked at me seriously. ‘Alex, let’s deal with this one day at a time. Do you think I eat and sleep when a murderer is on a spree? Do you think the Captain sits reading the paper or relaxes doing yoga when women and children go missing? We don’t. That’s the life of a police officer. We chose it. You didn’t. Maybe you need to reconsider Captain Withers job offer. Maybe you’re not cut out for this after all.’