‘Your work’s been suffering, kiddo. You might have noticed I’ve been sending others out to do jobs I’d much rather you had done but – and I hate to say this, because I know you, Amber, and I know this isn’t like you – I can’t trust you to do the job properly right now.’
‘Kevin…’
‘No, Amber, let me finish,’ Kevin interrupted, holding a hand up to stop her from talking. ‘Your head is elsewhere, sweetheart. It’s obvious. And I can only assume this has got everything to do with Ryan Fisher. Am I right?’
Not entirely, Amber thought. He was only part of the problem. If it was just Ryan she could probably deal with it all, but throwing Jim into the equation just messed things up even more. And that’s why her head was all over the place. Oh, Ryan wasn’t innocent, far from it. His nights out were becoming more frequent, his time spent with her less and less, but then, she had someone else there to occupy that time, didn’t she?
‘You’re doing it again,’ Kevin said, his voice once again jolting Amber from her thoughts. ‘Look, Amber. When was the last time you had a holiday? A proper holiday? And by that I mean more than a few days away from this place?’
She frowned slightly, not sure where this was leading. ‘I don’t know…’
‘Exactly. That’s my point, sweetheart. You can’t remember the last time you had a proper break, can you?’
‘No, but…’
‘Take some time off.’
‘Kevin! No. I don’t want to take some time off…’
‘I’m not asking you, Amber. I’m telling you. It’s nearly Christmas…’
‘And we’re really busy…’
‘We’ll cope. This place won’t fall apart without you.’
‘That’s not what I meant,’ Amber said, with more than a touch of resignation in her voice. How had she let things get this bad? How hadn’t she noticed her concentration slipping and her mind wandering off to think about things that didn’t really matter? But then, Ryan did matter, didn’t he? He mattered a lot. And that was the problem. Because, at times, she felt more like a babysitter than a girlfriend so of course she’d been distracted. Although, she would’ve been less distracted if Jim hadn’t been on the scene. And there was another problem. She knew what Ryan was doing to himself, and she was trying to stop him from going down a road he needed to get off, but at the same time she didn’t feel Jim needed to know just how unstable Ryan’s behaviour could become. In spite of everything, Ryan lived to play football, and if Jim knew what was really going on then there was every possibility he would pull Ryan from the first team, and that was the last thing Ryan needed. But did she need all this stress? All the secrets and lies she was having to keep hidden? Now it was starting to affect her work, things suddenly felt a whole lot different. She’d thought she could cope with it all, but it seemed she was wrong. She couldn’t really cope at all.
‘I know what you meant,’ Kevin smiled, his voice quieter. ‘I care about you, Amber, I really do, and you know that. You know I wouldn’t make you do this if I didn’t think it was going to help. But I really do believe that some time off will do you the world of good. Sometimes work isn’t everything. And I think the whole problem with you is that you’re having a hard time dealing with the fact that you’re beginning to see that, too.’
She frowned again, looking at him. ‘I don’t…’
‘The hard-faced, ice-cold, feisty girl I know is going through a bit of a life-change. She just needs to learn to embrace it.’ He stood up, walking over to the window, shoving his hands in his pockets as he turned round to face her again. ‘There is room for everything, Amber. You can have it all.’
She wasn’t sure that she could.
*
The afternoon stretched out in front of him like some never-ending movie he was bored of watching. Training was finished, a quick lunch time drink with Gary and a few of the lads was over, and now he was back home. Bored. It was the Red Star Christmas party that night so his evening was sorted, but getting through the afternoon was something else.
Amber was at work, he had no intention of calling his mam or dad because he wasn’t in the mood for any kind of lecture, so he was just going to have to find a way of amusing himself.
He was about to reach over and fire up the laptop when his mobile rang and he answered it immediately, not checking the caller ID first. Big mistake.
‘Are you at home?’
‘Where else would I be, Max?’
‘Oh, I don’t know, Ryan. You’ve been spotted in so many places lately, you could be almost anywhere.’
‘Yeah, you’re funny.’
‘Oh, I’m frigging hilarious, Ryan. Which is exactly what you’re fucking career is going to be if you don’t pull yourself together.’
‘Jesus, Max, I’m not a kid…’
‘Then stop acting like one. Grow up, look at what you have, and then think about what your life would be like if you lost it all. Because, carry on the way you are and that’s exactly what’s going to happen.’
Ryan sat down, running a hand through his hair. ‘I can control it, Max. It isn’t like before, I swear; I know what I’m doing.’
‘Famous last words, Ryan.’
‘Max…?’ But he’d already hung up, leaving Ryan staring at the phone. ‘What the…?’ Now he was pissed off. Now his afternoon had become even more frustrating. He needed something to take the edge off, something to see him through to party time – and he knew exactly what would take the edge off, but he was feeling lazy today. They could come to him for a change, even though it was a slightly risky thing to do. Somebody could see them, and it would only take one paparazzi photograph and an over-zealous reporter to start rumours that would spread like wildfire. But Ryan didn’t care, not today. He was in a rebellious mood. Or maybe it was just the boredom, either way he needed something to do.
Reaching for his phone again he tapped in a password that took him to a secret list of contacts. Not that he thought Amber was the type to go checking his phone, but there was nothing wrong in being ultra careful. In his position. Pressing call he spoke quickly to the voice on the other end of the line, making sure they knew exactly what to do before quickly scrolling down the list to find the second number he wanted. Once the edge was well and truly taken off he’d still need something to do, and with Amber at work she wasn’t going to be able to give him what he needed. He was going to have to look elsewhere for that. And he knew exactly where he could find it.
*
‘Here you go,’ Freddie Sullivan smiled as he handed Amber a steaming hot mug of tea.
‘Thanks, Dad,’ Amber sighed, cupping her gloved hands round the mug as she stood on the sidelines, watching her dad’s team prepare for their evening match with an afternoon training session. ‘I didn’t much fancy going home. I’m not used to it, not at this time of the day.’
Freddie looked at his daughter, frowning slightly. ‘Kevin’s right though, pet. You do need a break. I can’t remember the last time you had a proper holiday. Why don’t you take yourself away somewhere, eh? You could go and visit your Nan over in Marbella; she’d love to see you…’
‘You know how it is, Dad. Ryan can’t take a proper holiday until the season’s over…’ She looked at her father, taking a small sip of hot tea. ‘You meant go without Ryan, didn’t you?’
Freddie Sullivan looked down at the ground for a second, scuffing his football boot along the muddy grass, his hands buried deep in the pockets of his tracksuit bottoms.
‘Maybe you should… maybe you should back off from him for a little while, Amber.’
She continued to look at her dad, not breaking the stare. ‘Why?’
‘Because he isn’t good for you, kiddo. He’s… he’s always had this reputation, this image that follows him around and I was never really sure how much of that was true, until I met him. Until he joined Red Star. He isn’t good for you, Amber.’
She turned away, taking another sip of tea as she watched her dad’s players take
practise penalties at the far end of the pitch. ‘I think I can look after myself, Dad.’
‘Oh, I’ve got no doubt about that, Amber. But you shouldn’t have to look after him, too.’
She threw her head back and sighed heavily. ‘Will everyone stop blaming Ryan for the way I’m feeling right now? Please?’
‘Something else on your mind, then?’ Freddie asked, kicking a stray ball back onto the pitch.
‘No,’ Amber replied, probably a touch too defensively. ‘No. Nothing else is on my mind. Well, apart from the fact I’ve been forced out of the office for a few weeks.’
‘You should enjoy the time off, pet.’
‘Yeah, you should.’
‘What are you doing here?’ Amber asked as Ronnie joined them on the sidelines, taking the mug from Amber’s hands and taking a drink of tea.
‘I popped in to see you at work but Kevin said you were here. He said he’d ordered you to take a few weeks off, and I have to agree with him. You haven’t…’
‘Had a proper holiday in ages, I know. I get it.’
‘Anyway, I thought you’d be making the most of your free afternoon getting yourself a manicure or a new hairdo for the Red Star Christmas party tonight, seeing as Jim Allen seems to have ripped up his “no partners” policy for this year.’ He looked straight at Amber. ‘Any idea why he might have done that?’
She quickly looked away, his stare making her feel slightly uncomfortable, for some reason. ‘How the hell should I know?’
‘It is a bit strange, that,’ Freddie mused, stroking his stubbled chin. ‘Normally Jim’s a stickler for protocol, and with every club he’s managed, when it comes to the Christmas party he’s always been quite firm about no partners being allowed.’
‘Why? Because he takes them all out for an evening of depraved debauchery that he wouldn’t like the wives and girlfriends to know about?’ Amber said, slightly more sarcastically than she’d intended.
‘Well, your boyfriend might be able to advise him on the best places to go, if that was the case.’
‘Ronnie…’ Freddie said, a warning tone to his voice.
‘Yeah, Dad’s already covered the “let’s batter Ryan” side of the conversation, so don’t you start.’
Ronnie looked at Freddie, who just shrugged. ‘I’d better get back out there before this lot start slacking off.’ He quickly kissed Amber on the cheek. ‘See you later, kiddo.’
‘Yeah. See you, Dad. Thanks for the tea.’
Ronnie stood beside her, pulling the collar of his jacket up around his neck to shield it from the biting north east chill. ‘So, what’s your dad been saying, then?’
‘That I should back away from my relationship with Ryan and go and spend some time with Nan in Marbella. On my own.’
‘That’s not such a bad idea.’
She looked at him, taking her mug of tea back. ‘Oh, really?’
‘Yeah. Christ, if I had that much time off I’d be over there like a shot. Sunshine and sangria over there in southern Spain, or snow and Christmas adverts being shoved down me throat in England? It’s a no-brainer.’
‘It won’t work, Ronnie. I’m not going anywhere. And anyway, you don’t even like sangria.’
‘That’s not the point, missy.’
‘Whatever.’
‘You’re beginning to sound like him, now.’
‘So, I take it you agree with my dad, then? You think that I should back away from Ryan, too?’
Ronnie shrugged. ‘I’m not telling you what to do, Amber. All I’ll say is, be careful. And remember, your dad doesn’t even know the half of it as far as Ryan’s concerned, because, if he did…’
‘He doesn’t. And he doesn’t need to know.’
‘And then there’s Jim…’
‘Can you shut up, please?’
‘Well, like I said – just, be careful.’
She frowned, looking at him over the rim of her mug as she drained the last of the tea from it. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘I think you know what I mean, Amber.’
She held his gaze, nodding slowly. ‘Yeah.’ It just remained to be seen whether she heeded those words of warning or not. ‘I’d better go home. I’ve got to find an outfit for this party tonight, and I don’t think jeans and a t-shirt are gonna cut it, somehow.’
‘You’ll look great whatever you wear,’ Ronnie said, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets as he stared straight ahead.
‘Yeah, well, I’ve still got a lot of work to do, haven’t I? And it’s not like I’ve got anything else to be getting on with so I might as well go home and pamper myself.’
Ronnie turned to look at her again. ‘Amber… If there was anything you wanted to talk about, you’d come to me, wouldn’t you?’
She smiled at him, slipping her arm through his and squeezing it tight, quickly kissing his cheek. ‘Yeah. You know I would.’
‘So, you and Jim Allen…’
She let go of him, putting the now-empty mug down on the ground before she started walking back towards the car park. ‘Like I said, Ronnie, I’d better go home and start getting ready.’
‘So, there’s nothing going on between you two, then? Only, when you told me what had happened at Tynebridge a few weeks ago, in his office…’
‘Yeah, well, maybe I shouldn’t have told you anything at all.’
‘No, Amber, hang on…’ He gently grabbed her arm, swinging her round to look at him. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry, it’s just that… Kevin said he was really worried about you. And whatever’s going on, well, I don’t think it’s all to do with Ryan. Is it?’
Amber just looked at him for a few seconds before pulling her arm from his grip. ‘I let things get on top of me, Ronnie. Okay? But I guess I’ve got the time to deal with it all now, haven’t I?’
She resumed the walk to her car but Ronnie wasn’t giving up. ‘Amber, come on, kiddo. What’s that supposed to mean, huh?’
She turned round as she reached her car, leaning back against it. ‘It means, I can concentrate on making sure Ryan doesn’t throw his career away. Nothing more, nothing less.’ Would he believe her? She hoped so. It was partly the truth, anyway. ‘And not a word to Jim about Ryan, do you hear me?’ She turned to open the driver’s door before facing Ronnie one last time. ‘So far nothing he’s done has affected his football, and I intend to make sure it stays that way.’
*
Ryan lay back on the bed and smiled as he stared at the ceiling. That had certainly been one way to while away an afternoon, and all for less than a day’s wages. He felt exhilarated, fired-up, ready to go all over again.
He turned his head to check the time on the clock by the bed. Amber should be home soon. He’d timed this perfectly, made sure everything had ran like clockwork, and he’d managed to get the kicks he’d so badly needed without Amber having to know a thing. Jesus, he was good!
The sound of the door banging shut downstairs told him she was home and he smiled again, reaching down to gently touch himself. Hard and ready to greet his gorgeous girlfriend with a welcome home she probably wasn’t expecting, but one he was sure she was going to love.
‘Ryan! Are you up there?’ Amber’s voice drifted up the stairs and Ryan sat up, tying the towel he had wrapped round his waist a little tighter.
‘Yeah. I’m in the bedroom!’ he shouted back, unable to keep the smile off his face as he heard her run upstairs.
‘Oh, good. You’ve already had your shower,’ Amber said, throwing her bag onto the chair by the door, loosening her belt and slipping off her watch.
‘Nice to see you, too,’ Ryan mumbled, watching as she moved around the bedroom like she was on some kind of mission.
She swung round to look at him. ‘Huh?’
‘You. What happened to “Hello, Ryan, hope you had a good day”.’
‘Well, I hope you did have a good day, because I’ve had a crap one.’
He stood up, walking over to her, slipping his arms around her
from behind, kissing her neck. ‘Oh yeah? What’s happened? Tough day at the office?’
‘You don’t know the half of it,’ she sighed, leaning back against him, wanting to feel angry with him because it was partly his fault she was in this mess, but she couldn’t be angry with him. What good would that do? They might as well enjoy the Christmas party and work out where they went from here tomorrow. After all, she had plenty of time now, didn’t she?’
‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Ryan asked, really hoping she’d say no. He was in the mood for sex, not conversation.
‘Not really,’ Amber replied, stepping out of his arms and slipping off her top. ‘Suffice to say, Kevin’s ordered me to take some time off from News North East. At least until after Christmas.’
‘Really?’ Ryan frowned, wondering if that meant she was going to be around the house more often. If she was then maybe The Goldman was going to have a lot more of his custom. ‘Why?’
She turned to look at him. ‘Because my work has turned to shit lately, Ryan.’ She threw her head back and sighed, pushing a hand through her hair. ‘Look, it doesn’t matter. I could do with some time off, and I was thinking of taking a fortnight over Christmas anyway. It’s all good.’
‘Is it?’ Ryan was slightly confused now. He’d always thought Amber was the epitome of professionalism – the archetypal work-a-holic. Was it his fault she’d let her work slip?
‘Hey, come on,’ she smiled, slipping her arms around his waist, kissing his slightly open, unsuspecting mouth quickly. ‘It’s not your fault. Not entirely, anyway. But I guess what you are guilty of is being on my mind so much I lose all concentration.’ Just not always in a good way, she thought.
He smiled, too, sliding his hand down her jeans, making her gasp out loud as his cold fingers touched her warm skin. ‘Well, maybe having some extra time together isn’t such a bad thing, huh?’
‘Maybe not,’ she whispered, pulling his towel away and taking a small step back to look at him, all toned and hard – very, very hard. ‘It doesn’t take long to get you in the mood, does it?’ she smirked, reaching out to touch him, the feel of him in her hand sending a million shivers coursing through her. And despite the doubts she had constantly in the back of her mind about their relationship, and just why she was with him – because sometimes her reasoning was slightly blurred and there were times when she was never sure whether she was with him because she wanted to be, or because she felt a certain duty to help him – she didn’t want to think about it right now. She wanted to have a good night; she wanted them both to have a good night. Everything else could wait. She had the country’s most talented footballer right here in front of her, naked and sexy and hers. Right now he was hers, so she put any thoughts about the things he might have done or the women he might have been with to the back of her mind, and let her heart take over. Tonight was a night to let go and forget. And Ryan couldn’t have agreed more.
Striker (Book 1 in the 'Striker' Trilogy) Page 29