But he was too slow. Carol Ann had seen the tear. “And what do you want to do about it?” She believed she already knew what his problem was.
It was a while before Rick could answer her. When he finally did, it was in a low, strained voice. “I want to fall into the abyss. To embrace it. I want its pale blue light to cleanse my soul. I want my essence to become one with it…forever.”
“It sounds to me like you’ve fallen in love,” she tenderly told him.
“Oh, God, Carol Ann, no.” Moving away from the window, Rick returned to her. “Not again. I can’t go through that again.” He knelt before her and placed his head on her lap. Wrapping his arms around the lower parts of her legs, he whimpered, “Not again.”
Carol Ann caressed his hair. “Why not, Rick? It’s been three years. Mary would’ve wanted you to be happy.” She massaged his scalp. That always seemed to have a calming effect on him. “I saw the way she looked at you as you left the house this afternoon. I don’t think you’ll have any problems making her fall in love with you. I think she already is.”
She received as a reply a loud groan that seemed to have been ripped from Rick’s soul. Her forehead wrinkled. “Rick, what is it? There’s something you’re not telling me here, isn’t there?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Then start from the beginning.”
“The man called Tigif, did you meet him?”
“Yes. He introduced himself to me. He said he was a friend of yours from work.”
Rick released a strained chuckle. “He’s no friend of mine.”
Hearing that age-old warning signal in her head, Carol Ann cautiously asked, “Who is he then?”
“I’m not sure.” With haunted eyes, Rick looked up at her. “He claims to be her lover.”
Carol Ann’s frown deepened. “You can’t be serious. Are you having an affair with another man’s woman? Rick, how could you?”
“What the bloody hell do you mean ‘how could I’? What’s the matter with you?” He shot to his feet. “You actually think I would do such a thing. Besides, it’s a he-said, she-said type of thing with those two. I don’t know which one is telling me the truth.”
“I see. I’m sorry.”
“Well, you should be. You know me better than that.”
“Yes, I do. I’m sorry. So what makes you think they’re lovers? Did she tell you?”
“No.”
She was suspicious. “Did he?”
“Yes.”
“Aah.”
“Aah, what?”
“Jealousy.”
Rick scowled.
“From him, I mean. He must like her.” Carol Ann shrugged one shoulder. “And he feels threatened by you. Therefore, he lied.”
“Oh, really?” Rick crossed his arms. “What makes you think it’s that simple?”
“Well…” She gestured to him. “For starters, you’re better looking than he is.”
“That’s because you’re biased.”
Carol Ann twisted her lips. “All right then, what exactly did he say to you?”
Rick played back the confrontations he had with Tigif at his house in Arizona and the hotel room.
“So…” Carol Ann bent her left arm in a right angle, adjacent to her midsection. Her right elbow rested on her left wrist. She held her chin with her right thumb and tapped her nose with her index finger.
“She said he was engaged to her sister, which she later discovered was a lie. He said she has no other siblings, except her brother, Challen. He said she invented this story so that you would think she was eligible, while all along she’s actually his lover and has been for quite some time. This also isn’t the first time she’s tried something like this, huh?”
Her finger tapped away on her nose. “Hmmm. A ploy? Humph. A ploy to get her, I’ll bet.”
Rick’s face scrunched up. “What are you mumbling?”
“I think he’s the one playing games, Rick. There’s something about him I don’t like. I don’t trust him, and neither should you.”
“You’re saying that because you’re a woman like her.”
“I’m saying it because I think it’s the truth.” She nodded to him. “But if you don’t believe me, you’re the spy here. What does your gut instinct tell you?”
Rick thought for a moment. “That he’s lying.”
“There you have it. You’re instincts have never failed you before.”
“Yes, they have.” Rick stared into her eyes. “Three years ago.”
“Rick—”
“I thought I could take him. I was wrong. Mary and my baby died because of my poor judgment.” He gestured to the door. “I think he’s lying. What if I’m wrong…again?” Rick looked away. “Something inside of me felt like it woke up.” He pictured Leonora staring up at him with passion in her eyes. “I want her.” He met Carol Ann’s eyes. “I want her more than anything in the world.”
“Then go to her.”
“I can’t.”
“Rick—”
“You don’t understand. I loved Mary—”
“And you always will. But Mary is dead—”
“Exactly!” he cut her off. “She’s gone. And she’s never coming back. I died that day. I almost lost my mind. If it wasn’t for you and Lance, I don’t know what would’ve happened to me.” His eyes watered. “This time…it’s different. What I feel is completely different. Unique. I didn’t feel this with Mary. Not any of it. If I tell Nora how I feel and she feels the same way about me…” He rushed to the window.
“If she feels the same way about you, then the two of you would be happy.”
“Until I die,” he whispered. His chest constricted.
“What?”
“She’ll be leaving soon.” He struggled against the pain and the inability to breathe. “Why?!” he yelled as he punched the glass to a framed artwork that hung on the wall next to the window. The glass shattered, tearing the art within and Rick’s knuckles. Blood swiftly began to drip onto the wooden floor.
“Rick!” Carol Ann cried. “You don’t know that. If you tell her, she might decide to stay.”
Rick’s head dropped forward. “There’s a lot you don’t know, sweetheart.”
“Then stop punching holes in my artwork and enlighten me.”
Rick examined his bleeding knuckles and the embedded shards of glass, while taking a seat on the bed’s edge. Carol Ann ran to the adjoining bathroom and snatched the hand towel from the ring holder. She hurried to where Rick sat and wrapped his hand carefully in the towel.
Rick tried to prepare her for the shocking story. He explained what he had done and why. In the end, he wondered why he had even bothered preparing her.
“Oh, Rick, you always did know how to make me laugh,” she managed to say between burst of laughter. “Even when there’s something seriously bothering one of us, you always managed to make a joke.”
“It’s no joke, Carol Ann,” he stated flatly.
The young woman continued to giggle. At seeing Rick’s somber expression, she sobered. “You can’t be serious. There’s no such thing as aliens from another planet—another country maybe, but not another world. That’s just someone’s overactive imagination… isn’t it?”
Rick shook his head at her hopeful look. “No, I’m afraid not.”
“But I always thought aliens would be short and green with a big head and big, black eyes—not a tall, handsome man and a beautiful, creepy-eyed woman who have funny names.”
“Only in the movies, sweetie. And that’s only half of it.”
“There’s more?”
“You’ll see,” he told her. “And boy, will you see. Good night.” He kissed her on her forehead and left.
Rick entered his bedroom through the adjoining doors. He did not bother changing his clothes. He knew sleep would elude him this evening as it had done for some time now. He sat in his reading chair beside an open window and listened to the lullaby of the sea.
He ignored the
throbbing in his hand and thought about his wife and the years they had shared. He missed her. He missed her laughter and her funny way of doing things. He was happy with her, even though there were things he had tried to change about her. He smiled. There were things she had tried to change about him, but Rick had refused. They both had. Still, he loved her, and what they had shared would live forever in his heart.
No matter what happens, I’ll never forget you. You were my first love. Thank you for everything, Mary. Thank you for our daughter, Samantha.
Rick glanced at his hand. He stood and went into the master bathroom. Using his left hand, he placed everything he would need to clean and bandage his wounds on the counter. He switched the faucet on and plugged the sink. He removed the towel from around his hand. He wondered how Leonora would respond when she saw his bandages. He dipped his hand in the water. His jaw tightened. He hoped she would care.
You have turned my planned-out life inside out. You have awakened feelings in me I thought were dead. You made me start to dream again. Dreams a man like me have no right dreaming. But how can I take the chance when you’re leaving?
Rick gazed at his reflection in the mirror. Leonora’s image gradually replaced his. “I feel lost and confused without you. I feel so cold, so scared, and empty whenever I think about you leaving me and never coming back.”
He reached with his left hand to caress her image. “I love you. I can’t look at you without loving you. I can’t speak to you without feeling that I would die for you. I can’t have your mouth near me without my lips seeking to kiss you. So how then can I continue to stay away from you? How then can I live my life after you leave, when you, Nora, have become my life?” The image of the woman he loved faded, and his own reappeared.
Closing his grief-stricken eyes, Rick lowered his hand. A tear rolled down his cheek—a tear that was followed by its twin.
Rick left his room and made his way into the kitchen without saying good morning to his guests already sitting in the kitchen’s eating area reading the morning paper. He noticed Leonora paused in her reading to look at him. Her attention lowered to his bandaged hand. When she made no comment on it and flipped the page to continue reading, he was disappointed.
He tried to put aside the hurt and focus on preparing breakfast for everyone. Because of the bandages and the tenderness in his hand, Rick struggled with mixing batter, pouring liquids, buttering toasts, and handling the three heavy pans he placed on the stove. He looked at Leonora for help, but she left the huge kitchen without offering any assistance. He felt insulted and a bit angered.
Muttering to himself, Rick continued to cook the best he could. He was unaware that the kitchen towel he used to hold the pans’ handle was too close to the flame. As he reached into the cabinets above the stove for seasonings, it caught on fire. He cried out in surprise. He released the handle and began waving the towel in the air. The pan was too close to the edge and fell to the ground. There was food everywhere.
Carol Ann and Tigif rushed into the kitchen. Tigif plucked the burning towel from Rick’s bandaged hand, threw it into the sink, and sprayed water on it. Carol Ann was right behind him, thrusting Rick’s burning bandages under the water. Through the smoke and above their heads, Rick searched for Leonora. He was certain she would be worried about him. He wanted to reassure her that he was fine. But, she was not there. He was hurt.
Leaving the mess for Tigif and breakfast to Carol Ann, Rick went to his bathroom to rebandage his hand. Exiting his bedroom, he sought Leonora. He wanted to speak to her about her lack of concern. He found her outside on the deck sitting in one of the patio chairs staring out at the beach.
Her swollen eyes and the dark circles underneath them sidetracked him. He asked her if she was feeling okay. Without acknowledging him, Leonora went inside the house to watch the early news with Tigif in the living room. Rick’s hurt increased, as did his anger.
Carol Ann finally announced the food was ready. She began to set the table situated to one side of the large kitchen. To keep from thinking about Leonora’s behavior, Rick helped against Carol Ann’s wishes.
In the process of putting a plate on the table, he spotted Leonora entering the kitchen. He intentionally dropped a plate on the floor, hoping she would rush to his aid. Leonora instead went to the refrigerator, took a bottle of water, and left. Rick’s anger rose. Carol Ann’s did also, as she fumed while cleaning up the broken china pieces from the floor.
During breakfast, Rick asked Leonora to pass the salt, pepper, and syrup—whatever was near her—just to get her to acknowledge him. Tigif and Carol Ann handed the things to him in efforts to make it less awkward when Leonora ignored him. Whenever Leonora reached for something, Rick quickly reached for it also, purposely brushing her hand with his. Leonora would recoil as if she had been burnt. After the third time, she stopped eating, left the table without a word, and returned to her room.
Rick lost his appetite. He threw his napkin on the table, took his plate, and tossed it into the sink. He watched his untouched food slide off the plate. Leonora had not looked at him all morning. She had acted as if he were not there. Rick sensed she was emotionally distancing herself from him. It caused him pain. It made him angry. He felt sick to his stomach.
He knew Leonora was justified in her behavior. Distance from each other was what they needed to prepare for the day she left Earth. Sadly, he had fallen in love with her, and the space she tried to place between them served to increase his longing for her.
Rick had lived alone for most of his life. After dangerous assignments, he would return home to an empty house. He would cook for one person. He would go to bed alone. It was a lonely existence, but it was all he knew since his parents’ death.
Mary had changed all that when she had entered his life. She had greeted him at the end of the day. She had loved him during the night. She had taken him to parties, made him laugh and smile. She had become pregnant with his child. Most importantly, she had taught him how to dream. Rick had it all.
It took one judgment error, and his dream was gone. Loneliness and regret had become his companions.
Rick closed his eyes and tilted his head forward. He had known both worlds. It was why he had a hard time dealing with Mary’s death and Leonora’s entrance into his life.
Leonora was not Mary. True to her lioness heritage, she was a fighter. She defended Rick. She made sure he ate before she ate. She paced when he was late. And she showed genuine concern when she noticed something troubled him. For almost three weeks, he felt alive again. He was needed again. Wanted.
Leonora had made it seem like she cared, which was why her actions today hurt so much. Because his love for Mary paled in comparison to what he felt for Leonora, Rick knew the anguish he would feel when Leonora left would kill him. However, after what just happened, Rick realized he did not want to return to the world of darkness. He wanted to stay in the light. The light of Leonora’s pale blue eyes.
Rick left the kitchen and quietly went back to his room to lie down. On top of feeling ill to his stomach, his head painfully throbbed. He was afraid—not of facing bad guys, not of dying, but of allowing the love he felt to grow, knowing with time it would have to end. How could he do that to himself? To Leonora? The idea of causing her pain made him cringe. But the idea of never holding her, of never telling her how he felt, of never learning how Leonora felt for him hurt even more.
Four ibuprofens and two hours later, Rick decided it was time to gather everyone in the living room for a meeting. He explained to the Oceanans that Carol Ann was a close associate of his. She was a martial arts and weapons expert, and he required her assistance in protecting them. He completely trusted her. He mentioned that he had already told Carol Ann about their origin, but she was having a difficult time believing him and she needed to see for herself.
To his surprise, neither Oceanan protested. They each pressed a button on their wristguards, and their human features melted away. Leonora’s complexion darkened
to a healthy golden brown that made her eyes more dramatic. Rick’s breath caught in his chest. Tigif’s light green eyes were also enhanced by his orange and black stripes.
Carol Ann swayed on her feet, bumping into Rick. Rick snapped out of his awe, grabbed Carol Ann by her waist, and helped her to the sofa. He saw the color had drained from her cheeks.
Carol Ann covered her mouth with a trembling hand. “I…I can’t believe this is happening.”
The reaction was uncharacteristic of her. Rick was genuinely concerned for her health. He rushed into the kitchen and brought her some water to drink. Sitting close to her, he placed a supportive arm around her shoulders.
Carol Ann swallowed the water in a hurry and then handed the glass back to Rick. Their hands accidentally brushed, and he felt hers were ice cold. Rick placed the empty glass on the center table. He then took Carol Ann’s hands between his and vigorously rubbed them, hoping to warm them.
Leonora’s reaction to his concern for Carol Ann crossed Rick’s mind. She and Tigif sat across from him. Rick peeked at them. Tigif had a knowing smirk on his face. Leonora had a look of loathing written over hers. Realization hit him. Leonora’s earlier actions may have been because she was jealous of Carol Ann, like she had been of Rebecca. Hope rekindled in his heart.
“I can’t believe it,” repeated Carol Ann. “My God, do all aliens have the ability to disguise themselves this way?”
“We cannot say for sure about other species. But as you can see, we have no problems in doing it ourselves,” Tigif gloated.
Rick’s eyebrow slanted upward. “If you have no problems in doing it, then I’m curious to know how you were discovered.” The felines looked guiltily at each other. Rick knew he touched a sensitive note.
“It was a careless mistake,” Tigif admitted sheepishly.
“A careless mistake that cost many their lives, including your friends,” Rick snapped. Because of his own erroneous judgment, he had no patience for those who made careless mistakes when it involved innocent lives.
A Seacat's Love (Oceanan Trilogy Book 1) Page 13