by JA Huss
Big, strong, powerful Weston Conrad. Untouchable, I used to call him. And not because of his wealth or status. But because Weston doesn’t deal in emotions. He is impossible to rattle. Insults wash off him like water off a duck. He fields accusations like a major leaguer, throwing them back to home base, always preventing a score.
He is indifferent. Always uninterested.
“I know,” Weston says.
“What should we do all day?”
He’s not talking. He’s just staring out the kitchen window like there’s something magical out there.
But then he gets up and walks towards the window, leaning his hands on the countertop as he tries to see something, but can’t quite make it out. “What’s that?” he says, stepping back and walking out of the kitchen to the main living area where he stops in front of the big picture window.
“What’s what?” I ask, lost in thought. God, he looks… fantastic. I’ve seen him in magazines a few times over the past three years, and he always looked more like a GQ model than a businessman. But Jesus. I talked myself into believing that was all Photoshop and none of it was real.
It’s real. He’s real.
“Is that a storm?” Weston says, pointing out the window.
I walk over to him, trying my best not to get lost in his cologne. Weston never liked to wear cologne when we first met. He was so different back then. But then I bought him some for Christmas that first year and he’s worn it ever since.
That’s what he’s wearing now. Same brand I got him all those years ago. I’d recognize it anywhere.
“Look, Victoria. Did you catch a weather report before you left this morning?”
“It’s going to be hot in New York, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“No, that’s not what I’m asking,” he says, irritated. “Is there a big storm coming out here?”
“How would I know?” I snap. I’m letting that indifference get to me again. I always let it get to me. It makes me ragey. “I’m not from here,” I say, trying to ravel all the parts of me that are coming unraveled by being here alone with him. “So I wouldn’t know. Sorry,” I add, to try to defuse my anger.
Weston sighs, like I’m grating on his last nerve. “Well, I’m not from here either. But that purple mess of clouds looks like a giant fucking storm to me.”
I’m about to toss him another ball of insults to field when it hits me what that might mean. “What are you saying? Will we get stuck here? Is that pilot not coming back for us?”
Weston shoots me a scowl. “Don’t get crazy, Tori. He’ll come back. It looks far away still. Like it might hit late tonight.”
“He better come back,” I say, mostly to myself.
“You got a hot date with him tonight?” And even though Weston’s the master of indifference, it doesn’t quite come out as indifferent.
I smile as the, “No,” comes out of my mouth. I try to sneer as well, but I like that he’s asking. It means I made him jealous when we were flying over. “I just don’t want to be stuck here overnight, that’s all.”
“Hmmm,” Weston says. “Stuck here with me?”
“Exactly.”
“Well, I can think of worse people to be stuck on a tropical island with myself.”
“Don’t waste your time trying to flatter me, West. It won’t work.”
“Noted, Tori.”
I sigh and walk over to the wall and flick the light switch. “We have power.”
“I figured, since the water is running on a pump.”
A pump? Wait a minute. “What does that mean?” I ask, getting nervous. “We’ll lose water if the storm knocks out the power?”
Weston turns to face me, his confident smile shining. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, OK? We’re going to be back on the mainland before that storm hits.”
“If that pilot comes back.”
“He’s coming back, Tori. He has no reason not to.”
“The storm,” I say, pointing my finger at the huge window and the purple clouds.
“So,” Weston says. “That insecure girl is still in there, huh? Still a worrier, are you?”
“Fuck you.” But my retort is weak and I know he sees it. I don’t like the thought of losing power. I hate it when I’m away from the city. It freaks me out for more reasons than I care to remember at the moment. But the thought of being on this tiny island in the middle of the sea in the black of night with no power, and no water, and no one else besides my ex-boyfriend is a whole other level of freakout.
“He’s coming back,” Weston repeats.
But I’m not convinced. And now he’s got that look on his face. That look he used to save for the moments right before I had a panic attack. That look says, Get her off that ledge before she jumps.
“Don’t look at me that way,” I say, angry. “I’m not that girl anymore, Weston. I don’t need your shining knight services these days, so don’t throw me those concerned, She just got on the train to Crazytown looks.”
Weston chuckles and shakes his head. “You want to go back to the beach? Swim or something? Pass our time in paradise by relaxing on the white sand?”
“Do you?” I ask. And then, “I don’t have a suit.”
Weston takes off his tie and begins unbuttoning his shirt. My eyes open a little wider. I watch every move. The way his fingers flip each button loose. The way his tanned and muscular chest flashes me as the shirt comes apart. That stupid Corporate grin on his face.
I sigh with frustration just as he takes the whole thing off and starts going for his belt.
Will Weston Conrad strip naked to swim?
Oh, yeah. You bet your ass he will. I called him Naked Man back when we were together. He has a thing for it.
“Come on, Tori. Let’s swim. You don’t need a suit. I’ve seen your goods.”
“First of all,” I say, crossing my arms and maintaining eye contact as the pants come down, “I’m not ‘goods.’ Second of all, I’m not giving you the pleasure of seeing me naked after you’ve been such an asshole.”
“When was I an asshole?”
He’s kidding, right? “All the time.”
“I’m just truthful, Victoria. You just can’t handle the truth.”
“I’m tired of fighting—” But I stop talking. Because yeah, he still looks amazing in those black boxer briefs he’s partial to.
“Did you miss him?” West asks.
“Who?” I say, forcing myself to look up at his face.
“Naked Man?”
I almost laugh, but catch myself just in time. “Weston—” But before I can get anything else out, he’s crossing the floor, I’m backing up, my hands are up, warning him to stay away, and I bump into the couch and fall back.
He stops in front of me, his goddamned bulge staring me in the face.
At least he’s not hard.
Ooops. Spoke too soon.
“Weston, stop it.”
“Come on,” he says, extending his hand. “We’re going to the beach.”
“I’m not getting naked with you.”
“I don’t need you naked. Your fucking skirt is so short you could wade in up to your thighs.” He shakes his hand at me, urging. “Come on.”
I close my eyes so I can stop staring at the bulge, stop imagining his hard cock and all the ways I’ve been intimate with it in the past, and take his hand, letting him pull me to my feet. His arm slips around my back and he pulls me into his chest. God, I can feel his fucking dick against my hips.
“Victoria,” he says in my ear. “You’ve missed me,” he says, switching to the other one.
I wait for what comes next. It’s a thing he always did with me when I was on the verge of something. Panic, or sadness, or whatever comes with all the things we went through.
He would stand behind me, both hands squeezing my shoulders. His mouth would go to work on my earlobe, and my neck, and my mouth. Then his fingers would dip down into my bra to squeeze my breasts and pinch my nipples.
&n
bsp; We’d always have sex after that. Always. It drove me crazy.
But before I can say anything—No, we’re not doing that, or, Back off, mister, I’m not yours—he backs away and he’s heading for the door, tugging me along.
I sigh, missing his attention so much in that unused moment.
Outside it’s got to be ten degrees warmer than it was when we first got here. Blazing hot. The house is not cool, not by any means. But it’s tolerable. Outside, the fact that I’m in the tropics hits me in the face with the hot wind.
This cay, and all the other cays that I can see as we walk the ridge leading back to the beach, is about a mile long and half a mile wide. There are few smaller ones close by. Just sandbars sticking up from the sea, really. They don’t count. But the biggest one is a couple miles to the south. It looks like it should be inhabited. But from here I can’t tell. Most of the interior of the island is trees and brush.
West and I came to the Exuma Islands several years ago, but we stayed at a resort on Great Exuma and chartered a boat. This is nothing like that. Yes, it’s stunning as far as the view goes. The beaches are all pristine white sand. The ocean is too many shades of blue, and green, and turquoise to name, and the palm trees are perfect. But the isolation… I’m OK for a few hours. A day is fine. But the thought of getting stuck here…
Well… I don’t do alone very well. Not in isolation. I live in my building in the city. And there’s so many other people living in that building with me, I don’t ever feel alone. Plus, the city is filled with millions of people. Granted, most of them would not give a fuck if you were being stabbed to death on the sidewalk even if they were standing six feet away. But they’re there. And not all of them are bad. Someone is always there to help if I need it. I can always call 911.
Here there is no one but us. And while I know Weston would never hurt me, it’s the thought of being hurt that frightens me more. The thought of being hurt and being alone when it happens.
That fear consumed me when I was younger. It almost ate me up.
And Weston Conrad’s perfectly toned ass isn’t enough to stop me from worrying about it as I watch him out in front, eager to get to the beach. When we get back to the ridge near where the pilot dropped us off he jogs down the bank and dives into the small waves.
I look over my shoulder to the north. The purple clouds are still far away. The ocean seems calm and the wind is not crazy.
But those clouds…
“Come in!” West calls. “Stop looking at the sky and come in. It’s fucking amazing, Victoria. It’s warm and perfect.”
That pilot is coming back. I know it. We were friendly on the flight down here. He was chatty and happy. There has to be some kind of logical mistake.
I walk down towards the beach and take a seat in the sand. West is smiling at me, shading his eyes.
“Maybe whatever was going down on this island was cancelled due to weather, West? Do you think that’s why there’s no one here?”
“He’s coming back, Tori. Just relax. Come in the water and have a good time. I’m sure you could use a nice vacation. Think of it as a one-day vacation.”
There is no logical reason for that pilot to not come back. If there was a storm coming here he’d know about it. He’d have warned us. Isn’t that part of his job?
We don’t even have food. And if the power goes out we won’t have water, either. Hell, who knows how much water is even available now?
“Tori,” West says, walking out of the water. At least his hard-on is gone.
“What?” I say, not looking up to meet his eyes.
“It’s fine,” he says, standing over me. “Just… come in the water and swim with me. It’s fine.”
“I don’t want to get my clothes wet. I love this shirt.”
West grabs my arm and pulls me to my feet. “I love it too. So just take it off and… and come have some fun.”
Chapter Ten - Weston
Victoria Arias is… complicated.
Everything about her is complex and convoluted. She’s a maze of emotions and a labyrinth of feelings that requires careful navigation or the wild comes out and can’t be put back.
“Tori,” I say again when she ignores me. She’s thinking about those clouds. Why the fuck did I even mention it?
When she stays lost in her head I just start unbuttoning her shirt myself.
“West,” she says, both her small hands clamping over mine.
“Don’t think about it,” I say.
She takes a deep breath and looks up at me. Her violet eyes are so stunning, I want to get lost in them. Her lips are beautiful. Plump and luscious. And her skin is smooth and perfect. She reminds me so much of the girl I met that first day we spent together. Not the girl I met the night before when I was struggling with so many things and she was weighing her options.
The night girl and the day girl are two different people.
The night girl is strong, and resilient, and fearless. But the girl in the daylight is everything opposite of that. She is scared, and vulnerable, and weak.
The first night we met we sat together under those two trees in front of the administration building. Singing. God, was I really that dramatic back then?
It was a bad night for me. One of the worst in my life. Until, of course, two days later when life just went off the rails.
Tori was there through the whole thing. Our worlds fell apart together.
“I feel like…” She doesn’t finish, but she doesn’t need to. I can practically hear her heart beating faster.
Even with all her checks-and-balance tendencies, Victoria Arias is quick to come undone. There is a wildness inside her which cannot be tamed. She craves control because when she feels out of control the world had better watch out. And when she gets scared… well, that wild girl turns feral in all the wrong ways.
“It’s an afternoon, Tori,” I say. “One afternoon in paradise with an old friend. Nothing more, nothing less. That’s all this is.”
“But—”
I place my fingers over her lips and stop her words. “Just come swim. There’s nothing we can do about it but adapt.”
“I can adapt,” she says, trying to sound confident.
But she can’t adapt. She’s never been one of those malleable people, one of those girls who goes with the flow. She is the flow. She is a current of electricity. She’s dangerous and life-saving at the same time.
“I know,” I lie to her. She needs the lie. Because if we do get stuck here she will panic. And I don’t ever want to see that panic in her eyes again. The whole time we were together I tried to make it go away. I tried to force it out of her like a priest exorcising a demon. Will it with words, and actions that spoke louder.
And it never helped. People are a product of their experiences and the things Victoria had to endure happened long before I met her. And after dating her on and off for years… after chasing those demons away more times than I can count… I came to the conclusion that she doesn’t want my help. She wants to do it all on her own.
And that was that. Especially after that contract she stole. Did it ever occur to her that stealing my seven-million-dollar deal was the same thing as taking the money I’ve been offering her since my business took off?
No.
And that is just stupid.
So I left.
I can’t make her want me. I can’t make her accept my help, or my protection, or my promises. I can’t make her think I’m good for her. I’ve tried, believe me, I’ve tried.
And I’m not about to try again. I’m not stepping into that thankless role again. What I’m doing now is being selfish. I want to get through this day with her and then walk out the same way I did when we finally broke up for good.
I got the message loud and clear that night. She doesn’t need me.
“You’re good at adapting,” I say, continuing the lie. “So let’s just adapt to the fact that they changed the location of the retreat and live this day to the fullest.
How about that?”
Victoria stops staring at her hand, still clamped onto mine, which is still about to unbutton her shirt and take it off. She looks up.
God, those fucking eyes. I can only imagine all the men who have looked into them and gotten lost. It doesn’t make me jealous, it makes me angry.
“OK?” I ask, trying not to see what’s behind the violet. I begin to unbutton her shirt again and this time, even though one hand is still on mine, she doesn’t stop me. She holds on to me until her shirt is open and her lavender bra is the only thing between us.
I ease it over her shoulders and let it float to the sand, then reach around her back and unzip her skirt. She doesn’t fight me at all this time, just lets me wiggle it over her hips and steps out once it too falls to the sand.
“The water is warm,” I say, taking her hand and leading her down the beach. “And look at all the fish, Tori.”
She’s looking, concentrating really hard on the little flashes of color underneath the turquoise blue water. “Too bad we don’t have snorkel gear,” she says, as we enter the water and it splashes her legs.
“I bet that house has something. We can look later if we want. Come on,” I say, tugging her deeper into the ocean. “Let’s swim to that sandbar that thinks it’s an island. There’s a tree for shade. We can just relax out there for a little bit and I’ll catch us something to eat.”
“Please,” she laughs. Then she squeals and jumps as the waves splash her belly and chest. “I can’t even picture you catching us a fish.”
“Well, maybe you didn’t know this, but I worked on a boat setting lobster traps when I was a kid. I can catch us dinner, Tori. Don’t you worry.”
She laughs as we begin to swim. “Why do I have a hard time picturing you working for a living?”
“Shit,” I say, spitting out some salt water. “What do you think I do all day? Sit on my ass and plan my tee times?”
“I mean real work, Weston. Like… hard work. Not desk stuff.”
“Hmmm.” She has no idea who I am. It would hurt, but I can’t blame her. I never told her who I really am. “Just wait and see,” I say. “We’re gonna be eating good this afternoon.”