by S. Nelson
“My father died when I was very young, still a baby. My mother called it ‘an unfortunate accident.’ He was an abusive drunk who came home one night, starting up with my mom about something insignificant and stupid as usual, and tripped over his feet, hitting his head on the edge of the coffee table. He died instantly.” I can’t believe I just blurted all of that out. I was usually very protective about my past, but with him it was as if I had no worries.
I kept going. “I only have a few memories of my mom growing up, but the one which really sticks out is my fifth birthday party. It wasn’t anything fancy, only my mom and a few of my friends, but I remember being so happy that day, my mother’s smile etched forever in my brain.” Looking away to regain some of my fleeting strength, I turned toward him again. “I only have a few memories because she passed away when I was eight years old. She was coming home from work one night and was involved in a head-on collision with a man who had suffered a heart attack, killing them both instantly.”
Hearing him suck in a breath almost undid me. Tears had been building and threatened to spill over if he did or said anything overly sentimental.
“Who did you live with afterwards?”
Relieved he didn’t delve into anything too deep, my emotions started to retreat enough for me to finish. “I lived with my grandmother, Rose. She became like my second mother. I think we helped to heal each other to get through the tragedy. After all, I’d lost my mother and she’d lost her daughter.” I vanished in my own thoughts for a minute, tearing my eyes away from him and staring at my trembling hands. Finding one more ounce of strength, I pushed through, wanting to finish this and move on. “She passed away a little over a year ago, and I still miss her like crazy every single day.” My retreating tears were back in full force, ready to make an appearance any second. “Can we talk about something else, please?” I begged, hoping he would change the topic as I’d done for him earlier.
“Sure thing, and thank you for sharing with me, Sara.” He didn’t say much more, smiling as I gazed over at him. I weirdly felt closer to him, as if my story was building a stronger bond between us. I always felt physically safe when I was around Alek and at that point, I was starting to feel emotionally safe, as well.
As we were preparing to leave, I picked up the check to see what my half came to. Withdrawing money from my wallet proved to be the wrong thing to do, a disgruntled look appearing on his face as he ripped the bill out of my hand.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he asked, a semi-scowl still set in place.
“I was seeing how much I owed for my breakfast. Why? What’s the problem?”
I didn’t think he knew the proper reaction one should have had to my simple gesture. Was he accustomed to people using him for his money, always expecting him to pay for everything? Because that wasn’t me. I always paid my own way. Always.
“Put your money away.” Is he insulted? “I think I can cover breakfast, for Christ’s sake.”
“Are you angry I offered to pay for my half of the bill?” I was going to make him explain his outburst.
“No, of course I’m not angry. Sorry, I just don’t want your money, ever. I’ll always take care of things when we’re out together, even when we’re not. If I feel you need or want something, I’ll make sure you have it.”
Wow, where the hell is this coming from? I loved the fact he envisioned us out together in the future, but I didn’t want him to feel as if he had to take care of me.
“I won’t give you a hard time about buying me breakfast, but that’s it, Alek. You are not buying me anything else or paying for me when or if we go out anywhere else. I can pay my own way, thank you very much. Plus, it’s insulting if you think I can’t take care of myself. I’ve been doing it for quite some time.”
I was the one who was becoming miffed by the second.
“I didn’t mean to insult you, Sara. It wasn’t my intention.” He reached across the table and touched my hand. “But I won’t waver on this.”
I wasn’t going to argue with him anymore. It wasn’t the time or place. “Can I at least leave the tip?” Wrong question. He gave me an even more annoyed look, furrowing his brows and huffing out an aggravated breath.
Holding up my hands in submission, I said, “Okay, okay. Sorry I asked.”
He paid the bill and we left the diner, his hand resting low on the small of my back. It never failed; every time he touched me, even in the most innocent of ways, I started to feel all woozy and warm, even in the early Sunday morning hours.
As we walked toward his car, I blurted out my approval again over his mode of transportation. “I really love this car. It’s so beautiful.”
He gave me a look as if he was the cat who ate the canary. Oh, no, what is he thinking? Wait, I know what he’s thinking. “Don’t even think about it, mister!”
“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Grinning, he opened my car door for me, not elaborating or continuing our short conversation.
~10~
Alek
The drive back to her place was excruciating. I wanted to spend more time with her, but I also didn’t want to rush anything. Although, at the same time, I did. I’d never been so conflicted before in my entire life. Feeling like I’d known her forever was simply the tip of the iceberg. The more she chose to share with me, the more she drew me in, even if I’d shut her out earlier by not talking about my sister.
I just couldn’t.
It’d been years, but it was still too soon.
I heard her breaths, coming short and quick beside me. Confused as to what had caused the change, I turned my head slowly to face her. What I saw almost made me swerve off the goddamn road. Her eyes locked on me, her tongue darting out every now and again to moisten her lower lip. Oh, how I want to bite that lip. When she saw I was looking, she quickly turned away, flustered she had been caught leering at me.
“Did you want to ask me something, Sara?” I inquired, knowing full well words had indeed escaped her.
“What…uh…no…no,” she stammered. I couldn’t help the laugh which erupted, knowing exactly how she felt. My own heart was hammering away inside me, but I was much better at controlling my emotions. Although, I was finding it difficult the more time I spent around her.
I was going to tease her, but we arrived at her place faster than anticipated. Turning off the engine and exiting the vehicle, I made my way to her, opening her car door before she could do it for herself. Knowing she was annoyingly independent, I thoroughly appreciated she allowed me the simple gesture. It meant something to me. I was a firm believer in men opening doors for women, carrying their things for them and catering to them, within reason. I wanted a woman who could take care of herself but chose to let me do it instead.
Sara was one such woman. She was strong in her own right; I knew that much about her. And I knew it was going to be difficult for her to let me take charge, the small incident with the bill an indication. I didn’t want to boss her around or control her. I only wanted her to listen to me, to allow me to take care of her.
It was hard to explain, but in my head it all made sense. Now I have to find a way to make her understand.
Slowly but surely, she will come around.
I reached for her hand to help her from her seat. Closing the door, we slowly walked to the front of her building, her palm still clasped in my own.
She stopped by the front door, fiddling with her scarf. “Well…” she trailed off, never finishing her thought.
“Well, what?” I pushed, knowing she was a bit flustered once again. I loved the affect I had on her; my ego stroked with every whimsical glance she cast my way.
“Thank you for breakfast, Alek. I’ll talk to you later?” She was asking me, as if she didn’t already know the answer.
“I’m not going anywhere until I make sure you get inside, safe and sound.”
“Alexa is still home. Do you honestly think there is someone hiding in our apartment? Wi
th her in there? Because I can tell you this much: she would do some serious damage if anyone tried to break in while she was there.” A small smile played on her lips as she tried to remain serious.
Placing my hand over my heart, I tried pleading, something to which I certainly wasn’t accustomed. “I don’t doubt that, but for my sanity, can you please allow me to walk you inside? I promise I won’t search the whole place like last time.” I winked as I finished my sentence, hoping she would relax a little and give in.
After a few very long seconds, she relented. “Fine.”
“Fine,” I mimicked as I followed her inside. Once we stepped into her place, I had to remind myself of my promise not to go searching through every room looking for intruders. I took one step too many into the living room when I heard a loud rush of air behind me.
It was her.
Her sigh none too quiet.
Clearly, she was frustrated.
Clearly, I was the one trying her patience.
“Alek,” she said in warning.
“Sara,” I replied, my brows knitted close together. My faux seriousness was enough to pacify her, her facial features relaxing almost immediately.
“Well,” she mumbled, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “Thanks again for the omelet.”
I couldn’t help myself, forever wanting to garner a reaction from her. Taking a step closer, I circled my hand around her waist and pulled her into me. She stumbled before placing her hands on my chest. “There was coffee, as well,” I joked, leaning down until my lips were dangerously hovering over hers.
Her breath fanned my face, warm and sweet. So enticing.
“Thank you for the coffee,” she panted, our closeness causing her quick breathing.
My hand tightened, bunching her shirt in my fingers. “And there was toast.” My tongue licked at her bottom lip, teasing the hell out of both of us. If I wasn’t careful, I would be the one walking away tortured and bruised.
Her gasp almost undid me, inhaling a piece of my soul as she swallowed her breath.
Her words were soft, like a whisper in the wind. “Thank you for the toast.”
Since I couldn’t think of anything else we had eaten, I closed the remaining distance between us, pulling her so close her breasts touched my chest. I tangled my hand in her long hair, gripping it so she couldn’t move. When my lips finally descended onto hers, the mixture of our breaths fueled our rush of desire.
I knew I should have just walked her inside, said my goodbyes then left. But something about her always messed with my reason, and I was treading dangerous territory lately. Her small moans, her need to devour me, and her willingness to give herself over to me in that moment were winning out over any amount of sensibility I should have possessed. Her tongue stroked mine, dancing and playing, until all of my thoughts were of getting her naked and fucking her senseless.
We were so caught up in our rapture, neither one of us heard when Alexa came into the room. I wasn’t sure how long she’d been standing there, but once she made a small coughing noise, we broke apart.
Instantly.
Regretfully.
Sara seemed to be somewhat embarrassed, but me? I couldn’t give a shit. I didn’t care who saw what the woman reduced me to. Nothing more than an overactive hormone.
“Sorry to interrupt. I just need to get a drink,” Alexa whispered as she brushed past us and walked toward the kitchen. I looked down to see Sara’s reaction but she was watching her roommate, waiting for her to get whatever she needed and leave us. Alone. To continue torturing one another.
“Continue.” Her best friend laughed as she walked back down the hall, disappearing into her bedroom.
Sara locked her fingers behind my neck, caressing the back of my head. Pulling me toward her again, I knew exactly what she wanted. But I was done. Her friend interrupting us was exactly what needed to happen; otherwise, we would’ve been there all goddamn day. As much as I didn’t want to leave her, I actually had some shit I had to take care of.
Unlocking her fingers and taking a few steps back, I reached for the door handle behind me. “What time will you be home from work tomorrow?”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because someone has to be here when the alarm company installs the system.”
She furrowed her brows and pursed her lips, clearly not happy with my answer.
“Alek, I told you—” she started to say, but I cut her off immediately.
“Don’t even try it. You’re not going to give me a hard time about this. Your safety is my number one priority. Plus, it’ll ease my mind tremendously.” I reached out and grabbed her hand, softly running my thumb over the top of it. “You don’t want me to worry every second of the day, do you? And you want your friend to be safe, as well?” I knew I wasn’t playing fair, but whatever it took. Right?
I could see the struggle happening within her. She didn’t want me to purchase something she surely thought was unnecessary and elaborate. But she was also contemplating the safety issue, knowing full well the alarm would put her own mind at ease. Just when I thought she was going to argue with me again, she huffed out a pent-up breath and simply replied, “Fine. I’ll make sure someone is here so they can install it. Happy?”
“Very. Thank you.” I took one more look around her living room/kitchen before locking eyes on her once more. “Okay, I’ll give you a call tomorrow to see how everything went.” Leaning in, I gave her a quick kiss before opening her door and disappearing down the hall.
I fought every urge I had not to run back in there and throw her down on the couch and take what was mine. My hand shot right to my pants, trying to calm the raging effect she had on me.
Soon.
I would finish what we’d started very soon.
~11~
Sara
“Hey, where did Alek go so soon?” Alexa asked as she walked toward me, her eyes looking all around our small space.
All I could do was stare at the door, wishing he didn’t have to leave. “He had to go.”
She exhaled a quick whistle which caught my attention. “You’re one lucky girl, Sara. That man is unbelievable. How did you get his attention? Share your secret with me. Please. I beg of you.” Her laughing was covered by the sound of clinking dishes. Alexa was always scurrying around for something to eat, but for the life of me, I had no idea where she put it.
“I really don’t know, to tell you the truth. He came into the shop one day and has been showing up ever since.” A small smile tickled my lips, the mere thought of him too much to contain any sort of straight face.
“Well, you’re super lucky. And I’m not ashamed to tell you I’m jealous, you lucky bitch.” I laughed at her outburst as I made my way toward my bedroom to gather laundry.
~~~~
The rest of my day flew by, but not quick enough to keep my thoughts from reverting back to Alek every couple minutes or so. I found it hard to concentrate on anything Alexa said, not even feeling a little guilty about it either.
We ended up hanging out and watching Vertigo, an old Hitchcock movie, but I couldn’t fully concentrate on that, either. My thoughts kept creeping back to the feel of his hands on me, of his perfect mouth covering mine and his enthralling smell which would forever draw me to him.
I went to bed a few hours later, my thoughts still wrapped around him and wondering when I would see him again. I didn’t like the feeling of desperation, but I was powerless to control it.
Part of me wanted to escape the desire growing inside me for him. Another part wanted to throw caution to the wind, along with my emotional well-being. Just go for it, I tried to convince myself. Ride out whatever this is until he undoubtedly loses interest. Not a good way to think, but it was inevitable. Right?
~~~~
As I lie here, tied up and unable to move, my panic overwhelms me. The more I inhale the air in the room, the more I’m suffocated with the awful smell surrounding me. I’m bathed in complete darkness, so terri
fied my body is frozen in fear, the deafening silence almost too much to bear. As I focus on the sounds of my shallow breaths, I hear it—the frightening sound which tells me he’s near. The creaking stair means the man who has altered my world is descending in order to get to me.
I wait.
And wait.
But nothing.
The sound stops, the silence pounding in my ears until a scream gurgles deep in my throat, threatening its escape as I continue to lie here in my own despair.
As my pulse slows, I feel it.
A cold hand caresses my cheek, and before I can allow my scream to tear through me, his fingers circle my throat, tightening his grip until I feel faint. Dizziness takes over until I slip deep down into the bliss of unconsciousness.
Clutching at my throat, I shot up in bed, sweat coating my entire body. Why is this dream threatening me again? The faint light from the bathroom crept under my door, allowing my vision to adjust to the darkness quicker than normal. My eyes roamed around the room until I deemed there was no imminent danger. I was safe. My breathing slowed to normal, my heart following suit. When I laid down, fully calm, I tried to fall back asleep, praying my nightmares wouldn’t return for another visit.
~~~~
My alarm blared into the silence of my room at seven o’clock the next morning. Although I’d planned on getting an early start, my dreams had kept me up most of the night. Turning toward the offensive noise, I clicked the off button and laid there, my smile so big I knew it was going to be a good day.
I was going to tell Katherine the good news, even though she told me all along everything would work out.
For the both of us.
I arrived at the shop a half hour before we opened. Katherine had already given me a set of keys, so I set about getting ready for the expected busy day.
Matt was the first to arrive after me, which wasn’t unusual—always the early bird and all that. At first glance, he looked tired, dark bags hiding underneath his eyes. Actually, he looked like shit the closer I moved toward him, but I wasn’t about to call him on how disheveled he looked.