by Lisa Olsen
“What was that for?” was all I could think to ask when he pulled away.
“Didn’t want to say goodbye without having done that,” he replied, the rough pad of his thumb brushing against my cheek in a last caress before his hand fell away.
“But… you’re coming back, right?” It almost felt like a real goodbye kiss when he said it like that.
“I’ll be back alright,” he sighed, a gravity behind his eyes that hadn’t been there before.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I had some time to think it over and I decided a change of pace might be the thing Ellie needed. Gunnar too, maybe all of us. The next night I found Rob in the kitchen, one of his guns laid out on the table for cleaning, the familiar scent of gun oil in the air. He didn’t look up as I went to the kettle, checking the temperature of the water for tea.
“I was thinking we could take Ellie out of the city for a while,” I said, deciding it was hot enough and pouring myself out a cup. “Maybe reduce all the temptation until she learns better control. What do you think?” He didn’t answer, but I suspected he must not be in much of a talking mood. As long as he didn’t object, I figured he was okay with the plan as is. “Where is Ellie?” My head canted to one side, but I could only pick out Maggie moving around upstairs. “I haven’t heard her come down yet.”
“I took her out hunting earlier.”
“You did? That was nice of you, but you didn’t have to do that. I think I should oversee her feeding for a while. Maybe if I’m right there with her, guiding her, she’ll learn control faster. We could leave tonight, and I could suspend my business for a while, give her plenty of one on one time. What do you think?”
“There’s no need of that, she’s gone.”
“What do you mean gone? Gone where? Did she run away?” How could he sit there so calmly? We had to find her!
“I told you, these things have a way of working themselves out.” He still wouldn’t look up at me and a terrible suspicion gathered in the pit of my stomach.
“Tell me you didn’t…” His silence was damning, and I sank into the nearest chair, my legs growing rubbery. “No… not Ellie! How… how could you do this?”
“You can’t have a liability like that in your household, not in your position. You can’t preach tolerance with a killer under your wing. Especially not an erratic one who knows some of your deep dark secrets that can ruin us both.”
I couldn’t accept the logic in any of that, not with the sudden shock of her death hitting me so hard. “How could you do that? She was our friend!”
“I told you, my job is to protect you, even from your own heart.”
“My own…” Was he deliberately trying to push me away by being so cold about it? “Is that what this is about? You and me? Were we getting too close for comfort?”
Now he looked up at me and I almost wished he hadn’t once I saw the cold, dead look in his eyes. “You’ve been laboring under the idea that I’m the hero type. I’ve told you from the start, I’m a not a nice man. I’ve led the life of a proper villain, and don’t you forget it.”
“I don’t believe that, you’re more than that. I’ve seen you take care of Ellie, she was your friend.”
“Ain’t no friends in this business, miss.”
The title was like a slap in the face. “So we’re back to that, are we? It’s all business now.”
“That’s as it should be.”
“There’s nothing between us, not even friendship?”
“It’s a job, nothing more.”
“Fine. Then you’re fired!” I yelled hopping up from my chair, and he was up on his feet just as quickly.
“It’s not up to you.”
“It’s not up to Jakob either! This is my life, damn it, and I will bloody well decide who’s in it!”
“Calm down…” He came towards me, his palms up, and I grabbed hold of his wrist, twisting it into a lock and forcing him up against the wall, just like he’d taught me to.
“Why are you doing this?” I demanded. “I know you feel more than this… about Ellie, about me. I wanted… I thought we had a chance.”
Rob broke free of the hold and spun me around, pinning me between his body and the wall. His face softened, and I thought I’d gotten through to him, but there was regret in his voice when he spoke. Regret and loss.
“I forgot my place is all. Got caught up in something bright and shining that wasn’t for me.” He reached up to gently sift through a lock of my hair, staring at the golden strands between his fingers. “This is the way it has to be.” He pushed away from me and I nearly fell over without him there to hold me up. It took him less than ten seconds to assemble the last pieces of his gun and shove it into the hollow at the back of his jeans before he turned for the back door.
“No, Rob… it doesn’t have to be that way.” I recovered enough to follow after him. “There’s no one getting in our way but you. I’m the only one who can say if I’m not for you, not Jakob. You might owe him fealty, but you don’t owe him your whole life. He’s not even here for cripes sake.”
“You have no idea what I owe him,” he snapped, his eyes cold and hard like wet stones. “Regardless, I’m not right for you. You deserve a better man than me.”
“You are a good man. I might not agree with what you did to Ellie, but…”
Rob turned, walking backwards, his hands spread wide. “This is who I am. You have a problem, and I take care of it. That’s all there is to it. Anything else is just a figment of your imagination.”
And then he was gone.
*
Rob didn’t come back that night. That left me to break it to Maggie and Gunnar that Ellie was gone. I couldn’t tell them it was Rob who did it, I only said she’d exposed herself one time too many and had to be put down. Maybe it was wrong to imply that the Order was responsible, but I couldn’t bring Rob into it, dealing with Ellie’s death was hard enough. Maybe I couldn’t admit it to myself. How could Rob be so cold about it? Or was that the only way he could manage to do what he thought needed to be done?
Gunnar produced a bottle of Danish vodka, and we sat around staring into the fire, making toasts to our fallen comrade. Maggie had the idea to write down our favorite thing about Ellie on slips of paper, then read them off and toss them into the fire. Sort of our own memorial since there wouldn’t be any one else mourning her loss.
“I’ll start,” she offered after handing us all scraps of paper. “I loved Ellie’s sense of curiosity. She didn’t idly sit and let life pass her by. She wanted to know about everyone and everything that crossed her path. Some people call that nosy, but I call it a thirst for knowledge. She touched a lot of people in her short life, and I admire that about her.” Maggie scribbled a few words on her piece of paper, then folded it in half and tossed it onto the fire.
“I go next,” Gunnar shifted his large frame so he could write against his knee, finishing the inscription before he spoke. “Ellie had a way of looking at life to make you smile. If she ever saw me down in the doldrums, she wouldn’t ask me what is wrong, she’d get me to smile and remember that life goes on.” He tossed his paper in the fire, and we all watched it curl up and burn.
That made it my turn. “From the moment I met her, Ellie lived each moment of life to the fullest. We only had a few short weeks to get to know her, and I’m sorry I failed her in the end.” I stared into the flames, at a loss for what to write down on the paper until Maggie shook me out of it.
“Hey, you’re meant to be saying something you loved about her.”
“I know, I just can’t help feeling… like she’d still be alive if I’d been there for her when she needed me to be.”
“She’d have been dead a lot sooner if you hadn’t stepped in to save her life. She couldn’t ask you for more than that. Ellie’s flaws were her own, not yours.”
“I guess so.” I took a deep breath, writing the first thing that came into my mind when I thought of Ellie. “Alright, I loved her boundle
ss energy. Ellie did everything full tilt until she passed out at dawn.” In the end that might have been part of what did her in, the fact that she never learned moderation, but I could still lift my glass to her. “To Ellie,” I toasted as I tossed my paper onto the flames.
“To Ellie,” they chimed in, raising their glasses.
The doorbell rang, and I was about to tell Gunnar to send whoever it was away when I heard a familiar voice on the porch. Barely managing to set my glass on the edge of the hearth in my eagerness to get to the front door, I threw it open. I was more glad than I could say to see Bridget standing there, Felix next to her with a big bouquet of roses in his arms.
“See, I told you she’s home. Anja has like zero social life,” Bridget was saying and I lunged for her, wrapping my arms around her neck in a giant hug.
“Bridge!” I squealed. “I’m so glad to see you. Come in, both of you, please come in,” I offered without hesitation.
“Thanks, doll, these are for you,” Felix grinned, handing over the roses as he stepped into the foyer. “Nice digs.”
“Thanks,” I murmured, motioning Maggie to come forward. “Can you please put these in some water for me?”
“Of course,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper and I knew that Felix’s presence made her nervous.
Gunnar hung back, watching the pair warily.
“Jesus Christ, it’s quiet as fuck here,” Bridget announced loudly. “Who died?”
Chapter Thirty
“Well, how was I supposed to know someone had actually died? It’s not like you had a sign posted on the house or anything,” Bridget scowled, her painted lips turning down at the corners. Pretty in a tough way, her usual rocker girl style normally had her in short skirts and torn t-shirts. At the moment her dark hair hung thick and loose over her shoulders in perfect waves, her bountiful curves bound in a form fitting dress, the spill of cleavage the only nod to her signature style.
“I know, it’s just… it’s been a difficult couple of days, that’s all. So, please excuse us if we’re a little down.”
“No, I get it. I mean, I didn’t really know her all that well, but it sucks when someone you know is gone just like that,” she snapped her fingers. “It makes you think.”
Maggie had excused herself to the kitchen and Gunnar went with her. Felix presided over the bar, mixing up a pitcher of his famous martinis, or so he promised. He always put me in mind of a gangster in his heyday, even though the cut of his pin striped suit was modern enough. Now that I knew him well enough to call him a friend, I saw more of the boyish dimples and less of the hardness that came from being the Warden of the West, but he still scared the hell out of me when that shrewd glint came into his eyes, like it was doing now. As he approached, drinks in hand, I had a moment’s thought that maybe he’d found out about some of the things I’d been up to in my territory and might be of a mind to ‘take care of it’. But I decided the house magic would’ve protected me if he’d meant me any harm.
It turned out that was the farthest thing from his mind. It took Felix all of two minutes to get through the idle chitchat over the house and how well I looked before he got down to brass tacks. “Bridget, honey, why don’t you go and see where that skinny chick and the stiff went off to, okay?”
“Maybe I want to stay and talk to Anja too?” she protested, not moving a muscle.
“Hey, Daddy has some business to do.” He raised a single brow at Bridget and she rose to her feet – slowly – on her own terms. “Now scoot like a good girl,” Felix gave her bottom a smack, and she scowled, hurrying off, but not before I caught a glint of amusement in her eyes. Hey, who was I to criticize the way their relationship worked? To each his own.
“What did you want to discuss?” I asked, tugging on the hem of my skirt nervously, wishing I’d worn something a tad more appropriate for receiving a man of his position. But how was I to know he’d be dropping in out of the blue?
“I’ve heard some things about the job you’re doing up here as Jarl.”
“Oh, you heard about that, did you?” It suddenly occurred to me that he might not like the fact that I’d declared myself Jarl without any input from anyone else. Was that a position the Warden usually appointed himself?
“I did.”
I sucked in a breath, talking fast. “Okay, so it’s not really an official position, I mean I didn’t hold an election or anything. So, if I was supposed to check in with you before I took over as Jarl, then I’m sorry. But about the job I’ve been doing…”
“Relax, it’s cool with me, actually it fits into my plans fairly well.”
“It does?” I blinked. Maybe all he’d heard was that I’d taken over as Jarl and that’s all? There was no way he’d be cool with the reform I’d been pushing.
“Sure. I’ve heard things about the way you’re running the Northwest.”
“From who?”
“From that piss-ant, Byrne.” He made a face. “Course, he thought he was ratting you out to me, but I could see the benefits in your policy. You’re right, we’ve got to take the power back from the Order and make some changes. I’ve been talking up the same things myself. In fact, that’s what I came all the way up here to talk to you about.”
I still couldn’t grasp the fact that he really accepted the changes I had in mind. “It is?”
“You bet. Well, that and Bridget had a hankering to visit home and pick up some more of her stuff to make the move down there more permanent.”
“She’s moving in with you for good, huh? I guess it makes sense not to keep the apartment any more then.”
“Yeah,” he sighed, taking a deep drink of his martini. “Ain’t I a lucky bastard?”
“I think you’re both lucky.” I raised my glass to him, taking a tentative sip. Blecch, I’d stick to my zombies any day.
“Anyway, I figured, why not kill two birds with one stone? Plus, it’ll be a lot harder for you to say no to me in person.” A slow grin spread across his face, making me more than a little nervous.
“Say no to what?”
“I want you to be the next Elder of the West.”
“What?” I sputtered, choking on a mouthful of the vile concoction. Have you ever had martini go up your nose? I wouldn’t recommend it.
“Whoa, settle down there,” he said, offering me a napkin and swabbing off his coat with another. “Don’t get too excited, it’s not a done deal or nothin’.”
“The next Elder?”
“You got it, doll.” The grin was back.
“Just like that?”
“Well, not entirely. The council will have to accept you, but they will, especially with my backing.”
A bajillion questions ran through my mind in the blink of an eye, starting with “are you nuts?” to “I wonder what that pays?” but all that came out was, “Why?”
“I told you, I think you’d be a shoe in.”
I set the martini glass down, meeting his gaze squarely. “Felix, believe me when I say to you, I’m not qualified to be Elder of the West.”
“Why the hell not? You’re the closest thing we have to an Elder out here, and you’ve been doing a bang up job here in your territory. I think it’s time for a breath of fresh air instead of the same old cronies that’ve been scrabbling for power for the past century.”
“I don’t, know… that’s an awful lot of power to put in the hands of someone who’s never held a public office until a few weeks ago.”
“I’d be right there with you every step of the way, I promise. And think of what we could do together. Like you said, that’s an awful lot of power. Wouldn’t you like to see it in the right hands?”
He had me there. What if someone like Byrne actually got the job? I shuddered to think what he’d do with any serious power. “What makes you so sure I have the right hands?”
“What makes you so sure you don’t?” he fired right back. “Tell you what. Why don’t you come on down with me to LA and have a visit with Bridget while yo
u think it over? Meet some of the movers and shakers and see if maybe you think you couldn’t do a better job than most of them. If you decide not to throw your hat in the ring, then the worst you get out of it is a vacation in the lap of luxury, am I wrong?”
How could I say no to that?
*
A few hours later, Felix and Bridget were off to the old apartment to pack up some of their things (I also happen to think they wanted some privacy that staying at my place wouldn’t have afforded), and I was downstairs searching through my wardrobe for my most capable looking outfits. Luckily, I had an assortment of clothes beyond my usual comfy loungewear and jeans that should fit the part.
Not that I wanted to play the role of Elder, but I wanted to take advantage of Felix’s invitation and get a good look at the candidates. If there was someone horrible who stood a real chance of becoming Elder, I’d do my best to dissuade them from running or whatever it was they did to get chosen.
I was still kind of fuzzy on the details of how vampire politics worked, but I couldn’t ask Felix about it – he thought I was older than dirt. I couldn’t ask Rob either, especially if he kept avoiding me. At that point, I wondered if he’d even come with me on the trip at all or trust Gunnar to look after me from the way we’d left things between us.
I wondered if I wanted him to.
Maybe Rob had a point, maybe he wasn’t the right guy for me? Not that I thought I deserved better, but how could I be with someone capable of murdering his own friend, even if in his own twisted way he thought he was helping me?
But that kiss…
“Gunnar said Felix stopped by earlier. What’s all this then?” Rob’s voice pulled me from my reverie and the shirt I was folding slipped out of my fingers. It took me a moment to form an answer, and only after I looked away could I speak.
“What’s it look like?”
“Looks a bit like you’re running away from home.”
Maybe I was. I’d said a change of pace was a good idea for all of us, it was all that much more so now. “We’re going on a trip. Are you in?”