Caitlin wrote to her, about once a month. Old-fashioned letters sent in monogrammed envelopes. Violet sometimes contemplated discarding them, unopened, but curiosity always got the best of her. And the truth was, she was happy to hear that Caitlin and George were working things out, that he was traveling less, that he was probably not going to run for office after all, though it still wasn’t out of the question. He’d come out of the situation at the cabin well—too well, for anyone who valued the truth over the trumped-up version of the story. The media had hailed him as a hero for wounding the fugitive to keep him from running—imagine the Bryce-Danielses’ shock to come upon a family friend who’d been trying to hide out at their vacation home!—and for reuniting a mother with her child in the process. That Caitlin had first driven to get Violet before calling the cops had been an error in judgment, certainly, but not a crime. And George had simply done what anyone would do when he caught Finn trying to make his escape. It was the story Finn had told, and Violet didn’t mind it. She’d gone along with so much, unsuspectingly—what was one more thing? But she had to keep it at a distance.
Agent Martin, she was pretty sure, hadn’t swallowed what they were feeding him as eagerly as the press had—but there wasn’t much motivation to dig deeper once Finn was in custody and Bear was home. Violet couldn’t help thinking that the universe seemed to be constructed so that things would work out for the Georges and Caitlins of the world. She didn’t begrudge them that. But she never wrote back.
“Can we take this sand home too, Mommy?” Violet laughed. The sand at St. Augustine Beach was fine and white, a closer cousin to fairy dust than to the brown, shelly mix that lined the barrier islands outside Beaufort. This was just the vacation they needed. She’d invited Gram, but Gram had declined, saying that Violet needed to do this on her own, to “get it under her belt,” as she put it, and erase the bad taste of the vacation that had come before.
“I have a feeling we’re going to whether we want to or not,” Violet said, turning the dump truck upside down and trying to shake it clean enough to go back in the beach bag.
“Daddy!” Bear was on his feet in an instant, running toward a figure walking in the wet sand. Violet squinted through the sun at the man and was amazed that Bear had recognized him. He was wearing a decidedly un-Finn shirt, a linen button-down instead of his usual graphic T. His mirrored sunglasses masked his expression, but not the eagerness with which he bent down to scoop Bear up into his arms. He looked tan. Well fed. Healthy.
She checked the surge of involuntary happiness that overtook her at seeing the two of them hug, offering a baffled half smile as he splayed his fingers apart in a wave and carried Bear toward her. She hadn’t seen Finn since that night in the cabin, not wanting to cause either of them, but especially him, any further unhappiness. The divorce papers were signed and delivered through couriers and lawyers.
Finn deposited their son in the shade of the pier, and Bear began to jump up and down wildly, kicking sand onto Violet’s feet. “Did you come to watch the ships with us?” he yelled, bubbling over with excitement. “Did you come to look for pirates?” At that Bear began an invisible sword fight, slashing his arms through the air, and Finn grinned at Violet, an apology forming in his smile.
“A free man,” she said, clapping her hands in silent applause.
“A probationary man,” he corrected her. “But a weekend away is allowed if you tell them where you’re going and stay in the state. It helps if your therapist thinks it’s a good idea. And if it’s free. A guy in my program has a condo here—he’s letting me use it.”
“How did you know we were here?” she asked.
“I didn’t.” He pushed the sunglasses onto the top of his head. “Honest.”
She watched him take her in—the long crepe sundress, draped with strands of freshwater pearls she’d picked up at a touristy boutique in the old town. Her hand went self-consciously to her windblown braid.
“I might have wished for it, though,” he said softly.
She waited for him to look meaningfully at Bear, but he didn’t. His eyes were on her.
“And you didn’t know I would be here?” he asked.
Violet raised her eyebrows. Of course there was no way she would have known.
“So we’re meeting again,” he said, “on a different beach, by accident.” He held her gaze. “Again,” he repeated.
Violet looked over at Bear, who was jumping in and out of the pier’s pillars now, hiding and chasing invisible pirates, showing off. “Yaaarrrrr!” he yelled. “Shiver me timbers!”
“Imagine if this were the first time,” Finn said.
She nodded. Things could have been different.
“I’m not wearing the right shirt,” she said finally. “You wouldn’t have stopped.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. You have Camp Pickiwicki written all over you.”
“Is that so?”
“It’s just that you look so wholesome—and yet, I can’t help but wonder if you might be the type who’d sneak out after dark and meet me by the docks.”
Finn smiled, and there it was—that effortless, kindred warmth that had drawn her in from the start. The one that she hadn’t seen again the second time around, but that somehow still felt familiar. It didn’t make any sense. Finn had been a stranger then, and in some ways he was even more unknown to her now. Violet wiped the perspiration from her forehead with the back of her hand.
“Imagine if,” she repeated. She’d liked the sound of the words when he said them. They sounded so much better than almost.
Discussion Questions
1. We seem to put a lot of emphasis on the stories of how couples meet—husbands and wives find themselves fielding this question even after they’ve been together for most of their lives. Why do you think that is?
2. At pivotal moments, Violet and Finn think similar thoughts, but in different contexts. In Chapters 1 and 13, they separately reflect on their odds of getting together, and express that they can’t believe their luck. In Chapters 17 and 18, both feel that they have “never been so sure”—and “never been so wrong.” How do these echoes serve to highlight how well matched and/or mismatched they are?
3. Caitlin and Finn have, by most accounts, a platonic friendship—something many people consider rare or even impossible. In what ways is their relationship meaningful? In what ways is it unhealthy? Do you think there may have been more to it than was ever revealed on the page?
4. Do you sympathize with Caitlin’s position, as the story unfolds, or do you find her behavior inexcusable under any circumstances?
5. In what ways is Violet complacent in the events leading up to Finn’s ultimate disappearance with Bear? Do you feel she isn’t complacent at all?
6. Violet and Finn are both orphans by the time they meet. How does that affect their emotional attachments, separately and together?
7. Gram is the only one remaining at Violet’s side as certain hard truths come to light, and she serves as both a sounding board and a mirror. Do you find her assessments of Violet accurate? How is Gram right about her, and how might she be wrong?
8. Finn cannot accept the forgiveness of Maribel’s family because he cannot forgive himself. Can you relate to this point of view? Do you think he ultimately would have been any better off if he’d kept in contact with the Bransons?
9. Do you imagine that if Finn had never met Maribel, he and Violet would have had a happily-ever-after relationship?
10. Caitlin seems sure that Maribel was not “the one” for Finn, but one of multiple suitable matches. Violet seemed equally sure that Finn was “the one” for her—until she wasn’t. Do you think the concept of “the one” is hopeful, or damaging? Do you believe in an “only and forever” kind of love?
11. Did George ultimately surprise you, or were his reactions in some ways inevitable?
12. Do you think Caitlin and George get off too easily, or do you imagine they privately pay a higher price than others may
be aware of?
13. What was the true role of fate in the story? Were there pivotal “almost” moments and near-misses that you didn’t fully absorb the impact of until they’d passed?
14. What do you make of the novel’s final encounter? What do you imagine the future holds for this family?
15. In our own missed connections, are we better off not knowing what might have been?
St. Martin’s Griffin
Advance Praise for Almost Missed You
“Once in a great while, along comes a novel that defies the odds, a true mystery that bars no holds and plays no tricks, leaving the reader both deeply moved and thoroughly astonished. Almost Missed You is just such a book, a debut that asks if we can ever really know another human being, by a writer’s writer with talent to spare. You may not have heard of Jessica Strawser today, but by tomorrow, everyone’s going to be talking about her and about this story.”
—Jacquelyn Mitchard, New York Times bestselling author of The Deep End of the Ocean
“Almost Missed You is a skillful, insightful debut: a deft exploration of the mysteries of marriage, the price we pay for our secrets, and just how easy it is to make the worst choices imaginable.”
—Chris Bohjalian, New York Times bestselling author of The Sandcastle Girls and Midwives
“Almost Missed You is an emotional powerhouse of a novel, filled with complex relationships and difficult choices, the secrets we keep, and the lies we tell to those we love while hoping to shield them from harm. Strawser’s tale of guilt, blame, redemption, and forgiveness is a must-read for anyone who enjoys a well-told, compelling exploration of the human heart.”
—Garth Stein New York Times bestselling author of A Sudden Light and The Art of Racing in the Rain
“Almost Missed You is the sensational debut novel by the gifted Jessica Strawser, who has expertly woven a tale of a marriage in crisis with elements of daring, danger, mystery, and secrets that will surprise and delight you. You will revel in the triangle of Violet and Finn, the perfect couple until they weren’t, and Caitlin, Finn’s best friend, who is pulled into the drama while hiding a secret of her own. This is a rich read which will keep you turning pages long into the night. Glorious!”
—Adriana Trigiani, New York Times bestselling author of All the Stars in the Heavens
“With its gripping blend of painful secrets and fateful connections, Almost Missed You is a taut, emotional page-turner that satisfies.”
—National Book Award and PEN USA finalist Deb Caletti
“Jessica Strawser writes from the heart.”
—New York Times bestselling author Lisa Scottoline
“Jessica Strawser’s richly textured debut novel never lets the reader forget that love is a complex equation, in which attraction and affection are balanced by the cost of forgiveness, the obligation of friendship, and the pain of loss. Compelling fiction from a brave new voice.”
—Bestselling author Sophie Littlefield
“A thought-provoking debut about the true cost of emotional stress fractures and the jolts that finally crack them open. Strawser’s novel is layered with secrets, and will stay with you long after you finish reading.”
—Therese Walsh, author of The Moon Sisters
“Jessica Strawser hits all the right notes in her memorable debut. With twists big and small, the story is at turns heartrending, unexpected, and delightfully devious. Almost Missed You will give book clubs plenty to argue about, and the reader much to contemplate.”
—Michelle Gable, New York Times bestselling author of A Paris Apartment and I’ll See You in Paris
“In Almost Missed You, debut author Jessica Strawser meticulously weaves together a kidnapped child, friends in turmoil, and a Craigslist ad into a tangled web of secrets, lies, and unexpected alliances. This heartbreaking page-turner will make you question how well you really know everyone you hold dear.”
—Amy Sue Nathan, author of The Glass Wives
“Almost Missed You is a rare sort of a book, one part page-turner, one part love song to motherhood, and one part examination of the things we owe each other in friendship. It is by turns tender, sharp, and thoughtful, and always impossible to put down. Book clubs will love this tale of friendship, marriage, and the things we do for love.”
—Barbara O’Neal, author of How to Bake a Perfect Life
About the Author
By day, Jessica Strawser is the editorial director of Writer’s Digest magazine, North America’s leading publication for aspiring and working writers since 1920. By night, she is a fiction writer, and by the minute, she is a proud wife and mother of two in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Her diverse career in the publishing industry spans more than fifteen years and includes stints in book editing, marketing and public relations, and freelance writing and editing. A Pittsburgh native and “Outstanding Senior” graduate of Ohio University’s E.W. Scripps School of Journalism, she counts her New York Times Modern Love essay and her Writer’s Digest cover interviews with such luminaries as Alice Walker, Anne Tyler, and David Sedaris among her career highlights.
She blogs at the WritersDigest.com “There Are No Rules” blog and elsewhere, and enjoys speaking at writing conferences and events that are kind enough to invite her. Connect with her on Facebook at jessicastrawserauthor, on Twitter @jessicastrawser, or visit her online at www.jessicastrawser.com. You can sign up for email updates here.
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Discussion Questions
Advance Praise for Almost Missed You
About the Author
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
ALMOST MISSED YOU. Copyright © 2017 by Jessica Strawser. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
www.stmartins.com
Cover photograph of woman on beach © Mary Wethy/Arcangel Images
The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
ISBN 978-1-250-10760-2 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-250-10762-6 (e-book)
e-ISBN 9781250107626
Our e-books may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, extension 5442, or by e-mail at [email protected].
&nbs
p; First Edition: March 2017
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