by Andrea Tyse
+
"Would you mind if I was your stalker?” Jax was trying to be charming but this girl wasn’t buying it. The grin he was faking was starting to hurt his face. “Some girls get off on that kind of thing you know."
He knew he was taking the wrong tactic when all she said was a snide, “Nice,” and tried to shove him away. The more she pushed him away the more he wanted to be right where he was, annoying the hell out of her. Sure he was an adult. Sure this shouldn't feel like some teenage crush, but at the moment he was getting that suspicious butterfly thingy in his stomach or maybe a little lower if he was honest with himself.
All of a sudden Emma shoved at him hard. When Jax didn't let her go she started to look like she was going to cry or be mad, he wasn't sure which. Maybe she was already mad. Emma’s face was getting all red and scrunched up and honestly Jax wasn’t sure what to do to appease her. He was used to not actually caring if a girl got upset with him. He almost couldn’t believe he was here, caging little Emma with his body, and enjoying it. She would probably be scared if she knew the thoughts he was having right now. Naked thoughts. Naked dirty, filthy thoughts that made him want to smile. Thoughts of his head buried between Emma’s thighs. Thoughts of what she would look like bent over the hood of his car. Jax was pretty sure those thoughts shouldn’t be in the head of the guy who basically told everyone in high school this girl was the ugliest person he’d ever seen. It shouldn’t matter, but it did because he was starting to see things he couldn’t before. Things Jax liked about Emma.
Jax liked how she fit against him, he wished it was warmer outside so they could have been skin to skin. Emma smelled like flowers, but then again he was clutching the roses in one big fist against her side.
Moments ago he’d almost touched her face to pull some of the fly away blond strands of her hair from her eyes, but those blue eyes had gotten all big and scared so Jax had dropped his hand.
He could feel the sparks of attraction everywhere Emma’s hands touched him, even when pushing him away. He was getting excited and the last thing he wanted her to think was that Jax was getting off on her struggling against him. It wasn’t the struggle, there was something about Emma. Maybe it was the challenge. The experience of being refused was not one he was too familiar with. There was an excitement in knowing Emma was going to reject him. Jax looked down into her face and could see a storm brewing just under the surface. Emma was about to blow up.
"What are you up to? Is this a bet? Is this a make ugly Emma cry week? Are your friends around the corner taking pictures of me for Facebook? Why can't you leave me alone?" Emma’s words poured out like little pieces of glass, each one sharper than the next.
Tears didn't spill down her cheeks but he could see she was on the verge of it, or the verge of socking him in the dick for being an asshole. Against his better judgment, honesty seemed to be the best policy. He dropped his arms but kept a hand on her so she couldn't run away. Emma watched him suspiciously, but he could see past it. Emma was hurt. Not just because he didn’t show up at her break. She was not like the girls he was usually around who played at being hurt so they got their way. No, this type of hurt was deep. Emma did a good job hiding it from people but Jax could see it.
"Emma, my friends don't know I'm here. They would laugh their asses off if they knew.” Jax said quietly.
Emma rubbed at her eyes with the back of her arm. She was tired and irritated, "Why then?"
"I don't know." He said it like he truly was baffled.
"That's not good enough,” she said as she tried pulling her arm out of Jax’s grip again, and this time he got the message and he let her go.
Jax trailed after Emma all the way home. He stopped between their houses and stood on the sidewalk. Some unnamable emotion flooded his body as he watched Emma walking away, letting the distance grow as she approached her house. He thought Emma’s house looked like one they would use in a horror movie. The cute blond nerd girl who was the lone survivor already lived there. When Emma got to her front door Jax watched her unlock it and go inside. She never even looked back at him. Now he recognized the feeling he’d felt as she walked away from him. Loneliness.
He stood on the sidewalk holding the half crushed flowers in his hand trying to figure out what was wrong with him.
Then Jax remembered he still had her glasses in his pocket, “Fuck.”
+
Someone was watching her, Emma thought, as she walked quickly down the street toward home. Working later than usual, she hadn’t left for home until it was dark outside.
Emma rubbed at a rain drop that splattered her face. The night was overcast and the threat of rain was making good on its promise as big fat drops started pinging on the sidewalk and her head. The smell of wet concrete filled the air as Emma pulled her coat up around her neck trying to keep the rain from running down her face and under her coat. Quickly looking around, Emma still had the feeling of being followed that just wouldn’t go away. A stray thought filled her mind momentarily of Jax, but Emma quickly dismissed it. Jax hadn’t been around for weeks, not since she’d left him standing on the sidewalk with a bouquet of crushed flowers in his hand.
Starting to feel a little bit freaked out, she walked quickly toward one of the only businesses open this late on her route.
Pussycat Tattoo's neon sign blazed in the dark. She had always loved the idea of tattoos, but had never gotten one. Even the shop minimum was just something she couldn’t splurge on at the moment. Emma stopped in the shop from time to time, to see what new pictures had been added to portfolios and to talk with some of the artists. For someone who had been made to feel very much an outcast, she fit right in here at the shop. The artists always seemed to genuinely welcome her, and enjoy talking with her about what they did.
She went inside, and Brad, one of the artists and the owner immediately stopped his work, took his gloves off and approached her with a frown. Brad was in his fifties, and reminded her of what a real father might be like. Concerned, caring. "Are you ok, Hun? Where are your glasses?"
For weeks everyone had been asking her that same thing, Emma, where are your glasses? Emma, did you get contacts? Wow, Emma, who knew your eyes were so pretty? The latter came from older gentlemen who frequented her checkout line. She told them all she’d been clumsy, and lost them. Her blurred vision didn’t make it impossible to see, but things did take on a fuzzy nature. She would have loved to have gotten contacts, but her eyes would get too irritated to ever use them. She hadn’t seen the spectacle thief, as she now thought of Jax, for a good two weeks.
Nervously, Emma explained she’d lost her glasses, and that it felt like someone was following her home. Brad ushered her to a chair in the waiting room and said, "You just sit right here while I finish up this tattoo, I’ll drop you off at your house when I’m done."
"Thanks Brad, I’m sorry to be a bother." Emma eyed the chair while she dripped on the carpet from the rain outside.
"You're no bother at all. I always try to keep an eye out for you. You remind me of my own daughter. I know I wouldn’t want my little girl out walking alone at night." She knew Brad wasn't pleased that her father had no problem with her doing just that.
Emma jumped when the bell above the door jangled and a tall pissed off looking Jax stormed inside. He looked even more soaked then she did. His black hair was plastered to his head and his white t-shirt was stuck to his body like a second skin. Every muscle, every dip and ridge of his chest and abdomen was on display.
Emma realized she was staring at him with her mouth hanging open as he stalked toward her his eyes blazing with something that could have been possessiveness. Possessive? Jax? No, way, she chided herself.
Jax pulled up short when he saw Emma talking with Brad. His eyes shot to hers and then back to Brad. Strangely a look of relief flashed across his face but was quickly covered by the slash of a frown.
Brad must have sensed a vibe between Emma and Jax because he asked in a voice full of authority, "Y
ou know him?"
"Yes," Jax answered for her, "she knows me." He sounded mad, and Emma was confused as to why he was here.
"Were you following me home?" She couldn’t believe he would do that, but nothing that he had done the last few weeks made any sense to her.
+
"Someone has to make sure you get home safe and sound," Jax replied petulantly. Jax eyed the man standing near Emma. The older man’s face slid into a smile at Jax’s answer and he went back to his waiting client. However, Jax noticed that the older man seemed to be keeping an ear toward their conversation. Well, more than an ear because the dude was now sitting on his stool next to his client who was just as equally interested in watching them. Great Jax thought, the peanut gallery.
Jax gave them a look that said butt out. The old guy just gave a smile in return that said I’d like to see you try and make me. The client gave Jax the thumbs up. Jax moved his body to block Emma’s view of them.
He looked down into her face. Emma seemed so small next to him, barely reaching his shoulders. She looked so cute and wet and Jax started thinking about that dream he had about her all over again.
Clearing his throat he told her in a voice that was a little too loud, “I’ll take you home.” Jax winced when he heard snickering in the background from the unwanted crowd of two. He was tempted to flip them off behind his back but kept his attention on Emma.
"Why are you doing this? How did you even know I worked late tonight?" Jax watched Emma’s hair curling slightly at the ends, and he wanted to touch it but doubted she would let him. Plus he still had her glasses. He could use them as an excuse to see her but Jax was becoming a little attached to the things, which was stupid, but he didn’t care. Jax would punch anyone in the face who questioned why he carried them around in his coat pocket and slept with them on his nightstand.
"I watched to see if you came home at your normal hour,” Jax gritted his teeth when one of the customers made an ‘awe’ sound behind him.
Jax didn't want to tell her the truth that he'd been waiting across the street from her work every day, to see when Emma was headed home. That he wanted to see her.
When she worked late Jax always followed. He'd been doing it since the first night he had walked Emma home. He just didn't feel right letting her walk late at night unprotected, which was bizarre, because he was pretty sure Emma felt like he was more a predator than a helpful neighbor.
"I'm just fine as you can see." She walked past Jax waving goodbye to people as she exited the building. Jax paused at the door and gave a smug smile to the people inside before running after Emma who was halfway down the block. It had stopped raining but Jax was pretty sure he would have dragged her out of the shop if she hadn’t left soon, rain or no rain. Not that he couldn’t take some well meaning teasing but Jax wanted to get Emma alone. He’d been biding his time for two whole weeks trying to wait until Emma came to him. Disappointed, she hadn’t.
"How do you know those guys?" He tried to keep the jealousy out of his voice as Jax walked uninvited beside her.
Jax had almost gone ape shit when he’d seen Emma go into the shop. He'd imagined some tattooed and pierced bad ass trying to get into her panties. If anyone was getting into Emma’s unmentionables it would be him. Oh my god, he had it bad. How could this have happened to him so quickly?
"I love tattoos, and when I got a job at the market Brad noticed me walking by like clockwork every day. One day he saw me stop and look at the signs on the door, so he came out and talked to me." Emma's voice took on a dreamy note, "Brad watches out for me. He knows my dad and isn't a fan." The mention of her dad broke the spell, and she seemed a little sad.
"I don’t like your dad either," Jax muttered.
"He wasn't always this way, he lost his job and it seemed to change him." It wasn’t the whole truth but Emma didn't want to talk about her dad right now.
Jax wanted to say it wasn't an excuse for the way he treated her but he himself hadn't been much kinder to Emma in the past. He didn't know what to do. He’d known in some way that his bullying her had hurt her. Jax was not known for having a conscience; it was starting to feel like maybe he was growing one. It wasn’t exactly a feeling he would recommend, Jax thought.
"I know saying I’m sorry for being such a jerk is probably nowhere near making up for the past, but I am sorry for hurting you." The words came out of him grudgingly.
Emma stopped walking, and looked at him, "I don't trust you."
She said it with such honesty it actually hurt him. For some damn reason it really hurt. Jax was turning into a vagina but he couldn’t seem to help it, he thought with a little irritation. He really was sorry for being such a prick and he was at a loss of how to make it up to this girl he was starting to respect. He'd never really respected a girl before, but he was seeing there was a lot to Emma. She worked hard, she was kind, she was cute, and she was funny when she was telling him to go fuck himself. All the things he apparently liked in a woman now.
"You will," Jax challenged.
"Why?"
"Because I’ll make it happen," he stubbornly said as he moved his hand a little closer to Emma’s as they walked.
"Why is it important that I forgive you?" Emma demanded worry lines creasing her face.
It was cooling down and a breeze made her blond hair blow gently against her face. He wanted to touch her so bad. Lately it’s all he thought about. He wanted to let that little curl at the end of her hair wrap itself around his finger instead of across her mouth. Jax grabbed Emma’s hand and started walking quickly, practically dragging her behind him; she skipped a few steps to catch up.
He took a big breath, "You weren't a person to me before. You were some nobody that didn't even register to me.” He sighed and squeezed her hand. "I wasn't a nice kid, I had to keep everyone entertained all the time, I had all this pressure from my family to get into college, to be the popular kid, I did it at your expense. Emma, I didn’t care. I didn't care about you or how you felt. I was a selfish evil prick and I’m still one because I want you to forgive me. I want you to forget the past. I want that and that makes me selfish because you want me to leave you alone." He stopped walking and dropped her hand, "I even force you to hold my hand." The look on his face was contrite and a bit sick.
Emma walked a small distance while he stood still behind her letting her walk away again. She seemed to think about it for a second and then said, "Well, come on, you’re walking me home right?” Emma held her hand out and Jax grasped it like a life line. She seemed nervous about it like she’d never held hands with a guy before. Jax squeezed her small hand in his a little trying to convey some sort of comfort. In that moment Jax knew Emma was a better person than he was. Emma had a big heart if she could trust him just this little bit. Right then and there Jax promised silently he wouldn’t make her regret it.
"If you had been talking to one of those young hot tattooed studs I would have punched his lights out." He tried to make it a joke and she rolled her eyes at him obviously not taking him seriously.
Laughing she said, "How do you know I don't like older men?" Now she was the one dragging him behind her.
He quickly caught up to her and whispered smugly in her ear, "I'm older than you by six months."
+
"Someone said they saw you shadowing Uggie Emma last night." Paul was sitting in Jax's backyard drinking a beer. Jax’s parents were pretty relaxed when it came to letting him drink at their house, but they would have given him a serious talking to if they knew of the parties he held when they were out of town. The apartment complex he lived in wouldn’t put up with a bunch of rowdy kids partying. Jax and Paul had spent the afternoon talking about who they would invite to the next party in a few weeks.
"If you haven't noticed Emma isn't so ugly anymore." Now that Jax thought about it maybe Emma hadn't been the ugly one at all. He frowned into his beer, and thought Man, what the hell was up with him? What was with all this self introspection? He was popular
, he was cool, he was hot, and he was perfect. Why in the fuck did Emma, who was so far from perfect it was funny, make him feel like he needed to talk to a shrink. Or maybe Doctor Phil or some shit, and cry on the TV how he’d had a wet dream about Uggie Emma. Then the next day defend her honor like some sort of knight in shining armor. God she would eat this up if she knew.
Paul snorted, "Fuck, man, you’re not that hard up."
"Just drop it, Paul." Jax's voice was deadly serious, he was getting pissed off.
"Fine. Geez, think you were all in love or some shit."
"Just leave it alone, she has it hard as it is."
"You mean hard up," Paul laughed and Jax lost it.
He jumped up quickly, towering over Paul, took his beer from his hand and almost punched him in the mouth. Instead, he sat back down slumping low in his lawn chair and snarled, "Shut your fucking face or I will tell everyone how you fucked Pimple Butt Pam and how she said you were a lousy lay."