A rational conversation about a horrific event. It was surreal and healing. The way he pressed his lips to her eyebrow then her cheek cleansed her.
She held on to his shirt. Curled the material into balls in her fists. Stood there and rode out the last of her memories. Their fight fell into the forgotten category. He wrestled his own demons and she would try to help him through that, even if he didn’t want to open up. But until then, she closed her eyes and held on.
Her bodyguard.
TWELVE
This qualified as the shittiest meeting ever. Andy looked around the conference room table. His older boneheaded brother standing by the door was bad enough. The other two guests almost sent Andy’s temper skidding over the edge.
Elijah Sterling, former CIA agent and the guy Andy once pegged as the love of his life. Tall, lean and hot as fuck with a hint of Japanese heritage showing in his black hair and dark eyes. He carried his body with confidence. Then there was Wade Royer, the guy Andy hated on sight—from his muscular build to the short light hair—because he was the one guy Eli could make a commitment to.
Wasn’t this just a fucking fantastic way to spend an already busy afternoon packed with work and intel and meetings.
Rick finished his call and slipped his phone into his pocket. Coming around the side of the table, he took the chair at the head. Of course he did. Only he would see the open seat as an invitation.
He glanced around, glaring, then pointed to Wade and Eli. “Why are you two here?”
To prevent the bloodbath Andy sensed coming, he jumped in. “Eli works for Bast—Sebastian Jameson, Natalie’s lawyer.” That was the easy introduction. “Wade is basically here because he hates me and wants me to stay away from Eli.”
Wade nodded. “That about sums it up.”
Rick being Rick, he skipped right over the personal stuff and started scowling as he focused in on Eli. “You’re a fucking lawyer?”
“Hell, no.” Eli looked appalled by the idea.
Andy couldn’t imagine Eli arguing points in a courtroom. The guy liked the outdoors and guns and shooting things. He made a life out of chasing people the CIA determined needed to be chased. He acted as a human weapon. Point and fire.
But that suit and the blue tie. Goddamn. “You look like one.”
Eli frowned at Wade. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”
“You look good in the suit.” Wade shrugged. “Sue me.”
Rick sat back in his chair in one of those dramatic movements usually meant to draw attention and put the focus back on him. “I don’t have time for games with the little league.”
“Uh, Rick.” Looked like his big brother missed a few pertinent facts in whatever file he used for Natalie’s case. He’d been out of the country when the Eli relationship imploded, but Andy assumed he’d caught up. Apparently not.
“No, really.” Eli held up a hand without ever breaking eye contact with Rick. “Let him continue.”
Andy saw Wade smile. Heard Eli’s cool tone. For whatever reason Rick goaded as if he wanted to start a fight. Andy wasn’t in the mood for any of it.
“This is a grown man’s game. Go back to your law office and file your briefs and lodge your complaints.” Rick took the phone out of his pocket and started scrolling through messages. “Actually, I don’t care what you do so long as you get out of here.”
As far as exit lines went it was a pretty good one. It also showed that Rick had no understanding of his audience. Andy did, so he sat back and let this play out. Eventually they’d get around to why Eli wanted the meeting and insisted Rick appear.
“Are you done?” Eli asked.
Wade shook his head. “For the record, Rick. That tone, all flat and low, is a very bad sign.”
Yeah, forget waiting it out. Andy didn’t want to wipe up the blood from this massacre. “Rick, Eli is former CIA. Some of his black-ops job make yours look like kindergarten recess time. He used to work for Natalie. Now he works for Bast.”
Rick hesitated. He got that look on his face that said he was performing a few mental calculations and realizing the scales weren’t quite as unbalanced as he had assumed. He turned to Wade. “And you?”
“Consider me the criminal element.”
“He used to be an enforcer for some unsavory types.” Andy knew because he’d investigated the guy right after finding out Eli had moved in with him. Wade had gone legit, but he hadn’t started out that way. His experience with weapons and death likely rivaled Eli’s, and that was saying something.
“That’s a pretty way of putting it.” Eli brushed something off his jacket sleeve, though it didn’t look as if anything was there. “Point is your blowhard asshole act doesn’t impress us. You want to compare gun sizes, I’m in.”
“Don’t let the nice suit fool you,” Wade said. “He will kick your ass.”
Rick slipped his phone back into his pocket. “Why are we all here?”
“My boss is not happy.” When Rick started to talk, Eli spoke right over him. “There’s a deal in place, and you sending people to stalk Natalie and Gabe violates it.”
Rick’s expression went blank as he turned on Andy. “You told them?”
Not a surprise he got dragged into the middle of this. Andy expected that. Rick had been trying to put him in the middle of the private battle with Gabe almost from the beginning, make him choose sides. Why should work be any different? “Gabe reports to Bast. Eli reports to Bast. You can see where those dots connect.”
Rick swore under his breath before looking at Eli and Wade again. “Look, I can’t talk about this. Suffice to say, I’m watching out for them.”
“Now you sound like the lawyer,” Wade said under his breath.
Not one to be quiet, Rick upped the volume. “I have this under control.”
“No, you don’t.” Eli leaned forward, balancing his elbows on the table. “See, if we—Natalie’s side—complain about the surveillance, your cover is blown. That’s not a big deal in this case, other than the twisted part about tracking your own brother, but I’ll let you figure out how to deal with that at the next holiday dinner.”
“But once Eli and Bast report back to the CIA, the people who hire you will know you blew this operation,” Wade said, taking over. “That sort of things tends to make you not be the first guy they call when they need help in the future.”
“Are you two threatening me?” Rick sounded honestly stunned at the idea. No one questioned him. He’d risen to the top in record time. People depended on him for both his skills and his anonymity.
But Wade clearly wasn’t impressed. He just stared back. “Yes.”
“The deal is simple, call off your guys. Report back to whatever piece of shit is paying you that all is fine and Natalie is not a security risk.” Eli laid it out then sat back in his chair. “Then you can go back to playing, what was it you called it? Big boy games.”
“Fuck you.”
Wade winked. “Sorry, he’s taken.”
They made a good team, Eli with the calm delivery and Wade as the backup. Andy hated noticing that.
Rick thumped his fingers against the table. “Gabe is screwing her.”
The news didn’t exactly surprise Andy, but he wasn’t sure it needed to be broadcast. “This might be family stuff.”
Rick’s gaze shot to Andy. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“As enjoyable as this sick peek into your family dynamic is, let me get to the point.” Eli shifted in his chair and all eyes went to him. The move and the deadly cold tone assured that. “Bast negotiated a deal for Natalie. Part of which promised a release of information that makes the NSA digging into the public’s phone records seem like a good government idea if anyone went near her.”
“You think people will believe you have that sort of intel?” Rick shook his head. “It’s only leverage if you can prove the information exists and Natalie has it.”
“Last I checked, the CIA wasn’t supposed to be sneaking around, check
ing on U.S. citizens. Natalie has some files that suggest that’s happening on a regular basis. And the citizens in question, some of them, are connected and will get really pissed once this news is out.” Wade held up both hands as if in mock surrender. “Just saying it sounds like pretty good leverage to me.”
Eli nodded. “If whoever hired you continues to track Natalie, the subjects of the surveillance—the entire public—will see internal documents, and those suits at the CIA who are so worried about Natalie’s location right now will be more worried about finding their own places to hide.”
Wade cleared his throat. “The public hates this shit.”
The double-team impressed Andy. “You two sure you’re not lawyers?”
“We prefer to work outside of the law.” Eli kept his focus on Rick. “You might want to keep that in mind.”
Something in Rick’s affect had changed. He no longer looked ready to rip the walls down. “They’re safe. Gabe spotted my man and tried to scare the piss out of him.”
Wade glanced at Eli. “I like Gabe’s style.”
Eli nodded. “It’s a shame Rick here still hasn’t said what we need to hear.”
Rick ignored the byplay. “Fine. I’ll talk to my people about Natalie’s supposed leverage and how, if it truly exists, it might be time to rethink tracking her down in any way.”
“Your people?” Eli shook his head. “It doesn’t make you throw up a little in your mouth to say that?”
Rick stood up. “I need a secure room.”
“You know where it is.” Andy almost hated to add this part: “Take Eli with you for confirmation.”
But Rick didn’t balk. Phone in hand, he walked out with Eli trailing right behind him. That left Andy alone with Wade, a combination Andy did not like one bit. And he could sense Wade knew that.
Better to jump to the offense, or at least Andy hoped that was true. “You know I’m not going to make a move, right?”
“On Eli?” Wade scoffed. “Fucking right you’re not.”
“So, you can drop the jealous act.” Though Andy couldn’t blame him. Despite the sometimes surly mood, there was something compelling about Eli. Something that reeled you in and made you want to know more. Those quiet moments, the ones that provided a promise of more. Andy had bought in. Eli told him not to, but turned out Andy didn’t have a fucking choice.
Wade leaned forward and tapped an abandoned pen against the table. “I’ve been where you are.”
Since he lived with Eli, and Andy never got the opportunity, Andy doubted it. “Oh, really?”
“It’s easy for me to say, and God knows I couldn’t do it, but you need to move on.” Wade looked up and pinned Andy with a serious gaze. “Take my advice. Find someone else.”
“I’m not still hung up on him.”
Wade shook his head. “Yeah, you are.”
“You don’t—”
“You need closure. I’m giving it to you.” Wade stood up. “It’s over.”
“Confident.”
“I’m not letting him go, Andy.”
He knew that before Wade ever said it. Andy had checked up on them, asked around. Eli looked as domesticated and assured as ever. People, mostly Bast, said that came from Wade. Still, Andy could hope. “You could fuck up.”
“Probably will, but that won’t create an opening for you because I’m the one he wants.” When Andy started to talk, Wade talked right over him. “Not trying to be a shit here. Just being honest. You can get all twisted up and act like Rick or move on. I’d move on.”
The words left a hollow pit in Andy’s stomach. “Thanks for the advice.”
“Take it.”
• • •
They ended up on the floor.
Gabe lay there on his back with Natalie cuddled half on his side and half on top of him. He loved this position. Loved being wrapped up with her, with her leg lying over his. The softness of her skin.
They both wore their shirts and sweaters but their pants sat tangled in a jumbled mess by their feet. Soon the stove would need stoking and a chill would fall over the room. He saw it all coming but couldn’t move. Not after the sex against the wall and another round with her riding him on the floor.
Not after her admission about her father. The idea of her living through that hell made him sick. What happened explained so much about who she was and how she handled crisis. She grew up to be the one who carried the gun. The person who gave orders. Her need for control, the way she protected herself and fought off too much hovering over her, all fell into place in his head.
It bordered on a miracle that she trusted him enough to even spill what she did. She didn’t have to. He was being a complete dick. He’d been spun up about Rick and lashed out at her. She should have kicked him, thrown him outside . . . something. Instead, she fought with him, pushed and then opened up.
“I was an asshole.” It was a flat-out truth he couldn’t deny, so he said it.
“Absolutely.” She didn’t open her eyes as she mumbled the word against his skin.
“Like, a totally fucking asshole.”
“I’m not disagreeing.”
“Rick is a touchy topic for me. I . . .” Every time he thought about the fracture in their relationship he got hit with that same raw, inside-out sensation.
She leaned up on her elbow and looked down at him. “Because?”
“I don’t want him in my life.”
But that was only half true. They’d all been close—had to be, with their dad. Gabe had depended on Rick to steer him away from anything that would earn their father’s disapproval. They bonded, stuck up for each other. As they got older, Gabe spent a lot of time watching out for Andy both because he was younger and because he was gay, which made him a target until he got too big and too good at self-defense for that bullshit. Gabe missed the guaranteed family safety net. He still had it with Andy, but he missed the rest.
Natalie’s fingers brushed over his chest. “Your file doesn’t mention a rift.”
He slipped his fingers through hers and loved when she grabbed on. “That’s a nice word for it.”
“Okay.”
That’s all she said. No questions or nagging. She acted like she’d let it end there if he needed it to. After all his blustering and the shitty things he’d said to her, after she opened a window into her world, she still didn’t make demands. Not that he could walk all over her, because he couldn’t. It was one of the things he found so damn sexy about her. That inner toughness.
The way she reacted made it all seem so easy. The secret he’d kept locked inside. The one only he and Andy and Rick knew. The allegations that tore him up every time he looked at Brandon. Gabe let it all spill out. “He had sex with my girlfriend.”
“Rick? Oh, God.” She made a face as if she’d tasted something spoiled. “I don’t have a sibling, but that has to break some sort of brother code.”
“Shredded it to pieces.” And that wasn’t even the worst of it. The ripple effect swallowed up so much more. “Brandon’s mom.”
Natalie’s mouth dropped open. “What?”
“He slept with my son’s mother.” His own brother. Gabe couldn’t find a way out of that haze. The whole time he’d been making plans and thinking he was in love, Rick had been screwing him. “I didn’t know at the time. Didn’t know for years. The admission is pretty new.”
“So, Rick isn’t why the two of you aren’t together?”
Gabe understood the confusion. He still hadn’t cleared up her misconception about Brandon’s age. Now might be the time, but on top of every other thing she was hearing, it might not even sink in.
“We haven’t been together for a long time. Probably shouldn’t have been in the first place. Not that I regret it, since the relationship gave me Brandon.”
“Of course.”
“Linda didn’t want a kid. Didn’t want a guy who traveled a lot either.” Which would have been a good thing for her to tell him before he joined the Army. “But I was able t
o convince her to carry Brandon to term. She took some money and signed an agreement where she gave up parental rights. I took full responsibility, so she wouldn’t get stuck with child support.”
“She sounds kind of awful.” Natalie shook her head. “Really immature.”
Gabe went out of his way not to say what he wanted to say about Linda in front of Brandon. He knew the basics, but Gabe made sure that while his son knew he hadn’t been planned he knew he was absolutely wanted. Gabe fought like hell for the kid. “She turned out to be, yeah.”
“Brandon doesn’t see her?”
“Never met her.” Never asked, which made Gabe’s life easier. He didn’t have to track Linda down. He could have but vowed only to go down that road if it was important to Brandon, and so far it hadn’t been.
Natalie winced. “Is Rick still with her?”
“Nope.” But they could have each other as far as Gabe was concerned.
She squeezed his fingers and brought their joined hands closer to her mouth. “What aren’t you telling me?”
Smart woman. He knew she’d put the pieces together and find one missing. “Rick has decided he’s really Brandon’s dad.”
She made a strange strangling sound. “What the hell?”
“I used stronger language. Also kicked him the hell out of my house and banned him from the office.” Gabe wrapped his arm tighter around her. “Andy has been stuck in the middle ever since.”
“Does Brandon know?”
And that was the fight. The point he debated with Rick over and over. “Not about any of it. He thinks Uncle Rick and I had a work argument. They’re still in touch but not much.”
She pulled their joined hands closer in to her body until they rested against her chest. “Doesn’t that worry you? Like, that Rick will go behind your back and tell Brandon?”
“Scares the shit out of me. But the one promise he gave me, and I made it clear I would kill him if he broke it, was that he wouldn’t tell Brandon on his own.”
Gabe didn’t fully trust Rick’s word. It was hard to after everything that had happened. The only thing that made it possible for Gabe to keep moving and not spend every day paralyzed with fear was that Andy joined in the threat. Rick would literally lose everything, including possibly Brandon, if he pulled some reckless stunt. Still, tired of waiting, Rick had given Gabe a deadline and it was coming toward them pretty fast.
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