“If we wake Amelia, you get to explain to her what happened,” Huxley lectured him.
“I can do that,” Nick said as his friend unlocked the door and let it swing open. It was dark inside, almost like the room was beckoning Nick to step inside its warm, embracing arms and sleep comfortably, contently.
His wife, his bed . . . sleep. When was the last time he’d had a full night’s rest? He couldn’t recall.
“I don’t think you ever slept a night like a babe on a woman’s breast,” Huxley said in response to Nick’s thoughts.
No, that didn’t seem right. “Said that out loud?”
“You did. Now shut your trap before you wake your wife. Are you going to get up off the floor, or am I going to have to carry you to your own bed?”
Nick pushed his friend away when he attempted to help Nick to his feet.
“I can do this myself,” he said.
Huxley backed off, hands raised to indicate Nick was free to do as he pleased.
Nick pushed himself off the floor, none too elegantly, but he held on to the frame of the door and hauled himself up to a standing position.
He already felt a headache coming on, a testament of just how much he’d imbibed this evening. He covered his eyes with one hand. “Definitely going to regret this in the morning.”
“I told you that five whiskeys ago.”
Nick stood there, holding the frame of the door to keep his world from spinning, and looked at his friend though half-lidded eyes. Nick let go of the wall so he could point his forefinger at his friend. “You did me a service tonight. I’ll sleep like a babe. Be the first time in . . . in a long time.”
“Well, get to bed, then, so I can find my own mattress for the night.”
“Thank you.”
“You won’t be thanking me come morning.”
“Maybe not, but still needs to be said. You’re a good friend, Huxley. And I doubt I’d have made it this far without you.”
“You certainly wouldn’t have made it up the stairs.”
Nick thought Huxley wore a smirk before turning away, but he couldn’t tell with his head spinning the way it was. He pushed himself through the doorway and into the room, stumbling toward the bed as he removed articles of clothing and let them drop to the floor. He wasn’t sure all of them came off before he hit the bed like a bag of rocks. What he did know was that Amelia didn’t curl into him as she always did, and that absence left a cold spot in his chest that he rubbed at until he fell asleep.
Amelia tilted her head to the side and stared down at her husband lying face down in their bed. He’d managed to pull off his jacket and waistcoat—those lay dejectedly on the floor where he’d tossed them on entering last night—but his shirt and trousers and his boots were still on.
While her temper had long ago cooled, the sight of his obvious drunken bout overnight did not bode well for her husband.
She’d honestly contemplated a bucket of cold water over his head to wake him, but that seemed cruel, and she didn’t want to explain to the proprietor of the inn what had happened. Though the owners likely already knew what her husband had been up to last night, because Nick certainly hadn’t been drinking in their room while she slept.
It was nearing ten in the morning, and Landon had sent a note an hour ago, asking when Nick wanted to reschedule their meeting. A small voice in the back of her head reminded her that she’d never seen Nick sleep so soundly. It would serve him right if she left him here to sleep the remainder of the day, but that might mean they stayed tomorrow as well.
She hated to do it, but he had left her with no choice. Placing her knee on the bed to give her leverage, and wrapping her hands around his solid arms, she rolled him over and onto the floor. He hit it hard, making her cringe and feel a moment of regret.
She reminded herself that he had brought this on himself.
This was his fault, not hers. And he hadn’t responded to any of her verbal requests to wake up.
“What in hell?” he grumbled, still half asleep. His hand grasped the edge of their bed, and Nick pulled up to a sitting position.
Amelia had already scooted away from the bed and taken a moment to compose herself. She placed one hand on her hip as she waited for Nick to make it to his feet.
He threw his arm over his eyes to block the light that was blinding him. She’d opened the curtains an hour ago, hoping the morning light would wake him.
She almost felt sorry enough to close them again.
Almost.
“I would apologize, but it’s after ten, and you have missed your morning obligations. Landon sent a note for you an hour ago, and I felt it necessary to make excuses for you. Seeing you now, I wish I hadn’t.”
Nick rubbed his hand over his eyes and peeked through a crack in his fingers.
“You look a little green this morning, husband. If this is going to be a common occurrence, I’d appreciate your telling me now. Because I certainly didn’t realize I was marrying a man who spent the whole night out on a binge.”
Nick lowered his hand and gazed at her through narrowed eyes. “I can promise you did not.”
Amelia raised one eyebrow. She would not state the obvious. Surely he knew how bad this looked.
“What time did you say it was?”
With a huff, she lowered her hand and walked over to his waistcoat that had been tossed in the middle of the floor. She pulled out his watch, clicking it open.
“Twenty after ten.”
“I hadn’t expected to be asleep so long.”
Amelia held out the note Landon had sent up.
Nick waved it away. “What does it say?”
“That he would be pleased to see you before we take our next meal. Though by the looks of you, I doubt you’ll stomach anything at present.”
“No, nothing right now.” Nick stretched, the material of his shirt molding to his arms. He looked down at himself, as though just realizing he hadn’t undressed before falling in bed.
“I admit to being surprised you didn’t wake me last night. You probably stumbled all the way to bed.”
“You are no more surprised by that than I am.” Nick rubbed his bloodshot eyes again. He sat heavily on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands.
“I’ll ring for a bath.”
“I haven’t the time.”
“You’ll make time. You smell like the ale house you were in all night.”
“That bad?” He turned his head to look at her with bloodshot eyes.
“Yes. And don’t think because you are ailing this morning from yesterday’s overindulgence that I have forgiven you for walking out yesterday.”
“I haven’t.”
“Haven’t what?” Amelia walked around the bed so she wasn’t talking to his back.
“Amelia, as much as I know we need to have this conversation, now is not going to work.”
“If that’s the case, we will get on disagreeably, if for no other reason than your obstinacy.”
Amelia shut her eyes and took a deep breath as she counted to five. He was feeling the effects of the evening and would probably be an irritable companion for the remainder of the day.
Nick grasped her hand and pulled her closer. “I apologize for my state this morning. And to answer your earlier question, no, this is not usual for me.”
Wanting nothing more than to remain in charge of the situation and refusing to be placated by more promises from him, she said, “That has yet to be proven.”
“Fair enough,” he responded and released her to stand. He looked in pain, but he’d brought this upon himself and she refused to help him right now.
“Might I ask for what reason you imbibed so freely?” And carelessly, she wanted to say but didn’t.
“You know why.”
“You have ordered me to stay away from the monk without providing a reason. Should I guess your intentions? I will give you this one last chance to tell me what is going on, or I will head back to London this instant.�
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It wasn’t a fair tactic to use when he was at a great disadvantage, but she had to use whatever leverage was available to her. Shauley’s words were fresh in her mind, and she would heed his warning, if for no other reason than the fact that she still lived.
Either the conviction in which she made her threat or the words alone were enough, Nick caught her hands and pulled her suddenly into his large frame. On impact, she let out an oomph sound.
“I don’t care if I reek like a man who swam in a barrel of cheap wine more odious than the Thames after it rains. You need to listen to me carefully, Amelia.”
She didn’t release the hold she had on his arms. She wished all this was behind him, that the sudden worry she felt for his safety was a thing of the past. If only Shauley hadn’t escaped after she’d been saved, then none of this would have been as big an issue as it had grown to be.
“I’ve been listening all along, Nick. And I could do without the manhandling.” Even though it was Nick, her husband, and the only man she loved, she was getting sick of being tossed around like rag doll.
He released her just as quickly as he’d gathered her close. She didn’t move away, but stood her ground, breathing as heavily as a thoroughbred after a race won. Every inhalation caused her breasts to brush against his chest.
“I’m sorry for my actions, Amelia.” Nick’s voice softened. “This place has the ability to strip away my humanity one layer at a time. I hate feeling like my back is exposed, waiting for the right enemy to happen by and strike me down. I’m nothing more than a moving target.”
“Do you think I hadn’t noticed what this place was doing to you? Your nightmares have been more frequent, Nick. You haven’t had a full night’s sleep since we arrived—not counting last night.”
Before he could make further excuses, she raised her hand between them. Nick’s words died on his lips. Finally, she had his full attention. Perhaps she was making headway.
“I love you. And I would hope that held some sort of weight. That you could trust me with your secrets.”
“Your love is everything to me. Everything,” he responded.
“If that were true, you wouldn’t be chasing ghosts and letting your past consume you. While you’ve been watching me, Nick, I’ve been watching you. Whatever it is you are afraid to tell me, it’s eating you up from the inside out, one day at a time. I see what this place is doing to you. It’s cutting you down, piece by piece. It’s destroying you. I want to help, but I can’t if you won’t let me in.”
“If you want the truth—”
“You know that’s all I have ever wanted from you.”
“I left a piece of myself here years ago,” he said carefully, as though thinking his words out before saying them.
“You didn’t, Nick. You might think you did, but you are stronger than that.”
“This place stole my innocence, which would have eventually been taken, considering the place and life I lived.”
“And isn’t that the exact point you are missing?”
Nick scratched at his scalp, further mussing up his deliciously tumbled hair. Why she was attracted to him in his current disheveled state was beyond her.
“I have had to set this right for more years than I care to count,” he explained.
“By facing your demons directly, instead of working on letting go of your past.”
“Give me today, Amelia. There is one more thing I need to accomplish before we leave.”
“But to what end? Honestly, Nick, you are a good man without dredging up the hatred inside left from your past. And the man I met and got to know . . . that’s the man I adore beyond measure. Not this person you become when chasing a past that no longer has bearing on the person you are now.”
Amelia draped a shawl over her arm and walked toward the door. “Do find me when you’ve cleaned yourself up.”
She left, because if she stood there another moment, arguing the merits on seeking out his revenge, it would only further frustrate her. He would have to make his own decision in this. So close . . . she had been so close to getting him to leave, she’d felt it, noted it in the way he’d tensed up when she’d threatened to leave for London.
When she arrived in the inn’s dining area, she saw Meredith and almost turned back around to avoid the conversation they needed to have. She almost groaned her dismay. Her day wasn’t looking up in the least.
Meredith motioned to the seat next to her. Pasting a smile on her face, Amelia approached the table.
“I see we are both without our husbands this morning.”
“Indeed,” Amelia said tightly as she slid out a chair. “Have you already eaten?”
“Yes, I was down early this morning.”
“I assume you are also leaving Highgate today?”
“We are not. My husband is touring the properties, speaking with the families and business owners. Determining who to keep, and weeding out any problem tenants.”
One of the inn’s daughters came by their table. “Another serving of tea, my lady?” she asked of Lady Burley.
“Yes, for my friend here. I might as well have another too.”
The maid dipped her head and left them alone.
“I thought we were leaving today or tomorrow, but Nick might have some further business to take care of first.”
“About yesterday—”
“Think nothing of it, Lady Burley.”
“Please, call me Meredith.” The look that crossed Meredith’s face was a cross between distress and sadness. “I think it only fair that I explain my actions yesterday.”
“There’s honestly no need.”
Despite Amelia’s insistence that they had nothing to discuss, Lady Burley continued. “Do you know how our husbands met?”
Amelia decided she might as well play along. The faster Lady Burley said what she needed, the faster she could get on with her day. “They were rival owners, constantly bidding against each other.”
Meredith hesitated. “That’s a very small part of how they became friends.”
Amelia’s teacup was set down on the table with a fresh pot of tea. Amelia thanked the maid before focusing her attention back on Meredith.
“You have my attention.” She didn’t mean to sound short, but yesterday’s picnic had left a bad taste in her mouth. She busied her hands with the tea set, pouring out another cup for Meredith before making her own.
“When they were younger, they were more apt to make calculated moves, more so than they might make today.”
“The same can be said for almost any man caving a path of his own in life.”
“To an extent, though their past is a slight bit darker than that.”
“Yes, it is,” Amelia agreed.
“Our husbands met during a fighting match.” Meredith paused, nibbling on her lower lip. “Not the kind in which gentlemen engage at a pugilist club.”
“I know precisely how Nick started out, how he made his ‘reputation,’ if you will.” She didn’t need to get into the finer details of what that life might have been like, for she wasn’t there firsthand to experience it. The truth of the matter was that Amelia knew more about her husband than Meredith did, no matter what the other woman thought.
“I did not mean to imply otherwise,” Meredith said without an ounce of affront. “I never thought I would marry Landon,” she said almost wistfully. “It was happenstance. I was, in fact, waiting on a proposal from another man entirely. Landon and I were worlds apart and at one point stood for different things. He and my eldest brother, Shelley, were as close as any brothers could be.”
Amelia did not miss the note of sadness that inflected Meredith’s voice. It was also hard to miss the shake of her hand as she took a sip of her tea.
“Were?” Amelia dared to query the tense in which Meredith referred to the friendship she mentioned.
“Shelley died rather suddenly. He just didn’t wake up one day.” Lady Burley’s eyes grew misty, and Amelia felt awful about
being cold to her.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’ve had plenty of time to come to terms with the unfairness of the world and of life, Amelia.”
Amelia agreed with that sentiment for so many reasons, none of which she would share with her tea companion.
“Landon took it as hard as Shelley’s own flesh and blood. He wasn’t himself after that. I guess it’s hard to be when death stares you so coolly in the face and changes the way things are. He got into a lot of brawls and tavern fights that my other brothers had to break up. Landon moved to London not a fortnight after the funeral.”
“I know what it’s like to want to escape the place that you feel is responsible for your circumstance,” Amelia said, thinking that a little empathy might go a long way.
She hated to have the same sentiments as Meredith after yesterday’s disastrous lunch, but Amelia knew she would have acted the same way, had their roles been reversed. How could she fault Meredith for that?
“He met Nick after that, didn’t he?” Amelia asked, already figuring out part of the story.
Meredith surprised Amelia with a chuckle. “Fought him, actually. And by my husband’s account, Nick knocked him flat on his rear in mere seconds. Landon stayed out of fighting after that, but he continued to watch with the same morbid fascination one might get from a cock fight.”
“I can’t say I see the pleasure in either.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
“How did they become rivals in business?” Amelia asked, never having thought to ask Nick that very question in the past, as it was neither here nor there.
And now, her curiosity was truly piqued by what Meredith revealed. Amelia realized in that moment how starved for information on her husband she truly was. She pressed forward, wanting to know every tidbit of information.
“They have similar ideas on where to invest, so when their paths continually crossed, they realized it would be better to work together instead of against each other.”
“Help me understand Roberts’s position . . . ” Amelia eyed the man who stood in the background, even now. He wasn’t like any servant she had ever known or seen.
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