by Chris T. Kat
“Sam? We’re not going to tell everyone who I am, right?”
“What?” Sam’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean? Of course we have to tell people what you are. Don’t be silly.”
“Why? They might not want me to be a cop anymore.” Sam would be on my side. He had to be! He would not demand that I do something else. He couldn’t!
“Of course you can’t be a cop anymore. It’s way too dangerous.”
Sam’s declaration hit me so hard I stopped breathing. Only when my lungs screamed at me did I take a conscious breath. This couldn’t be true!
“Nicky, baby shifters aren’t supposed to do dangerous jobs. You know that.” Sam sounded so reasonable, but it only infuriated me.
I elbowed him, satisfied at the surprised oomph that action elicited. “I’ve been a cop for years, and I’ve done a fine job. How does that change just because you know what I am?”
Sam rubbed a hand over his face, obviously tired of me not getting it. On my first day, the receptionist, Clara, had told me about a conceited human on Sam’s team. She’d most likely meant Jake, who was anything but that. She, and others, probably thought so because Annie allowed him to stay a cop after they mated. Maybe Jake played that up sometimes, but I always thought how lucky he was to have snatched such a sensible partner. It seemed as if I’d drawn the short straw and actually gotten a conceited shifter as a mate.
“Nicky,” Sam started. After a pause, he added softly, “We’ll find you something else to do, okay? Just give it a chance and I promise you’ll find something you’ll enjoy.”
My whole body went ice-cold. He would seriously do this. Tears of rage sprang into my eyes as I climbed off him. At least he let me go without a fuss. I threw on some clothes and stalked out of the bedroom, still battling the insane urge to cry. Why couldn’t I yell and throw things like other people did when they were angry? But no, I belonged to that group who cried. Fucking fantastic! That would convince Sam to give me permission to keep working as a cop.
Oh, fuck that! I didn’t need his permission. I didn’t need him at all.
“Nick.” Sam stood in the doorframe, looking uncomfortable. “Listen—”
I cut him off. “No, you listen to me, Mister Know-It-All.” My voice wobbled, especially when Sam’s expression shuttered. “This is not up for discussion. I’ll keep my job, and you’ll learn to deal with it.”
“Or what?” Sam snarled.
“Or I’ll cut our bond.”
Chapter Twenty
Sam
I STARED at Nicky for the longest time. He didn’t budge. Just jutted out his chin and glared at me.
“And how would you do that? Pray tell me,” I scoffed.
Nicky’s eyes widened, and his scent smelled strongly of anger, mingled with sadness and utter and total… betrayal.
Betrayal? Why did he feel like that? I hadn’t done anything for him to feel that way.
“There are meds I can take to suppress our mate bond until it unravels,” he replied, his voice coming out strong but trembling slightly.
At least I knew he wasn’t unaffected and saying this lightly. How could he think about ending our bond? It was against nature and… damn! Just the thought of never having him in my arms again caused me to break out in a cold sweat.
“The job is more important than our bond?”
“No, of course it’s not. But I don’t see why I can’t have both. You get to have both.”
“You’re a baby!” I roared.
Nicky started crying and pressed a hand against his chest, rubbing there. I withstood the temptation to do the same, even though my chest grew increasingly tight.
“I’m not a baby,” Nicky said in between sobs. “I’m a grown man who happens to shift into a very small snow leopard. I can take care of myself just fine. And I can also be safe doing my job.”
“It’s not right for a baby shifter to do anything dangerous,” I thundered. My lion railed inside me. He was beyond any rational argument and solely focused on keeping his mate safe.
“It’s not right for my mate to yell at me and demand I give up my whole life for him either, but you’re still doing that!”
I watched Nicky rub the sleeve of his shirt over his eyes. It wasn’t even that I couldn’t sympathize with him, but this was unheard of. I couldn’t allow it. He was too precious to me. I took a calming breath, then said, “I’m sorry for yelling at you.”
“Yeah, right.” Nicky’s voice was laced with bitterness. “But you’re not sorry for taking everything away from me just because that’s how it’s always been done. You know what? Fuck you! I should’ve never given in. I knew you’d be an asshole like all the others. Why couldn’t I find someone like Annie?”
“What’s Annie got to do with this?”
“She doesn’t bat an eye about Jake working as a cop. She’s proud of him, and she never belittles him or thinks he’s incapable of anything,” Nicky said with so much reverence in his tone my hackles rose.
“So, she’s Wonder Woman. Too bad she’s already mated. To Jake, who is a human, by the way, not a baby shifter.” How could I make him see reason?
Nicky coughed on another, louder sob, and I took a step toward him. I couldn’t stand to see him this distressed any longer. To my amazement he hurried backward, out of my reach. “No! Stay away from me.”
“Nick! That’s enough.”
“Fuck yeah, it’s enough! I’m outta here. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of our little bonding problem.”
He’d seriously leave—it was written all over his face. Even knowing it was a low blow, I shouted, “And then what? Do you honestly think I’ll keep my mouth shut? No, I’ll tell everyone what you are. No matter how great your records are, no one will employ you as a cop anymore.”
Nicky stared at me, tears streaking down his face, before he simply folded in on himself. He sat on the floor, arms slung around his knees, and cried so hard the sound rattled in his chest.
I stood rooted to the spot. What had I done? Dear God, what had I done?
I crossed the distance between us and slowly lowered myself to the floor. I pulled him between my legs but couldn’t disentangle him from the package he’d curled into. His cries only increased in intensity, his whole body shaking violently. He flinched whenever I touched him, and confusion spread within me.
I did that—to my own mate? The one I was supposed to protect and to love? So far, I’d only succeeded in hurting him and pushing him away from me. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Would it really be so bad for him to keep his job? Maybe I could somehow tie him to a desk so he wouldn’t have to put himself into danger? That would be something at least, wouldn’t it?
Even my lion considered this a good idea, if only because he was completely terrified of losing his little mate. Most of the time, my lion and I were in sync, but this whole mating business had put us seriously at odds. My human part told me in no uncertain terms that I was acting like a pompous ass. Nicky had already proven himself for years, and who did I think I was? Come to think of it, what did I believe Nicky was? My property?
My lion part chuffed at that thought. Idiot.
“Nicky, please, can I hold you?”
“Go ’way.”
“No. Not happening, not ever. You’re mine,” I said.
Nicky’s whispered reply shouldn’t have taken me by surprise, but it still did. “I don’t want to be yours.”
Moisture and pressure built up in my own eyes. I had to do something and quick, or he’d be lost to me forever. Taking a deep breath, I blurted out the one thing I hoped would appease him. “Okay, I’ll allow you to stay a cop.”
I didn’t get any further, even though I wasn’t finished. There was a very important but that needed to be tacked on to that sentence, but Nicky whirled around to face me. God, even with red-rimmed eyes and blotchy cheeks, he was beautiful.
“You’re just saying that to stop me from severing our bond. You’ll never go through with it.”
Annoyance crept up within me. How could he think I’d lead him on? I sighed. Well, I guess I had that coming, what with the stunt I’d just pulled. How could I have been so stupid? All the trust that had built between us in the last weeks—crushed in only a few seconds.
“Of course I don’t want you to sever our bond. And I don’t want you to ever threaten me with that again. Not ever, do you hear me? No matter how mad you are at me, that’s out of the question.” I paused when Nicky’s gaze swept downward. “I’m sorry for hurting you, very sorry. I’m not happy about giving you permission to stay a cop, but I can’t… I just can’t stand to see you this distraught, either.”
Nicky lifted his head and surveyed me with a wary look. “I’m sorry for threatening to cut our bond. It won’t happen again. Do you… do you promise I have your permission? You’re not suddenly going to withdraw it?”
I shook my head. “I stand by my word, you should know that. I’ll even write it down and put it in your file if that gives you more security. How about that?”
Nicky laughed, a wet sound since he was still pretty congested after the crying fit he’d just had, but it still sounded beautiful to me. He threw his arms around my neck, and I reciprocated the embrace with gusto.
“Thank you,” he breathed into my ear. “Thank you.”
“There’s just one more thing. I—”
The ringing of my phone stopped me from elaborating on how I wanted to handle him staying in his current job. I also had no idea how I’d convince Superintendent Burlows to keep him on, but that was another matter altogether. I’d promised, and I wouldn’t back down on that.
“I have to get that,” I said. Nicky let go of me as I rose to search for my phone. When I finally found it, I saw it was Roland. This didn’t bode well.
Chapter Twenty-One
Nick
I WAS hiccupping pretty badly when Sam took the call. I pushed myself to my feet, still trying to regulate my breathing. Fuck it all! When I cried, it took me forever to stop, especially with those damn hiccups that kept shaking my whole body. Just like a very little kid, which of course didn’t help my case at all. But…
Sam would allow me to stay a cop! I smiled at the thought. So I hadn’t completely misread him. I’d no idea how we’d handle the fact that I was a baby shifter, and I didn’t hold out any hope he’d allow me to keep my secret. Still, he’d promised.
Maybe I was stupid for trusting him, but he was my mate, and deep down I knew I needed him. I cringed when I thought about my threat. Would I have been able to go through with severing our bond? I honestly doubted it. I’d read about others going through with it, but it always left lifelong scars on those people’s souls. Many of them had a complete change in personality, and often they committed suicide. Shivering, I turned around to search for Sam.
He was pacing, and his face clouded more and more. Shit. Something bad had to be going on. Sam ended the call and slipped his phone into his pocket. When he glanced over at me, I swallowed. He looked downright murderous.
“What?” I croaked.
“That was Roland. Jesse’s in a coma after having a seizure. Connor’s beside himself and puking all over the place. No one knows what’s going on, but they put both of them in quarantine.” Sam shook his head, then added, “I have to go to the station. They found the guy who pumped the drug into our office. I want to interrogate him right away.”
“You mean we have to go to the station,” I said, my heart hammering. He’d promised!
Sam opened his mouth, and for a moment his eyes blazed golden. I held my ground, even while my throat suddenly went dry. After staring at me for a moment, obviously trying to calm himself down, he replied stiffly, “Yes, of course. You’ll stay with me at all times, is that clear?”
“Sam…,” I started. He couldn’t seriously expect me to trail him like a puppy?
He closed the distance in a couple of long, swift strides and cupped my face in his hands. Even though his voice was soft, his tone was anything but that. “Is that clear?”
Since I didn’t want another horrible fight on my hands, I nodded. “Clear. But this is not how it’s going to be in the future. Not all the time.”
Sam’s nostrils flared, and his hold on my face tightened. “We’ll talk about details later. This is all I’m capable of right now, and that’s way more than you’d get from probably anyone else. Except the wonderful Annie, it seems.”
I blinked up at him. “Are you jealous?”
“Do I have reason to be?”
“No! Of course not.”
“Good, then let’s go. You might want to wash up quickly, though.” Sam pressed a kiss to my forehead.
I did as I was told, then gathered my badge and gun to follow him. When I holstered my gun, Sam grumbled something, but he didn’t elaborate when I asked him about it. Tiny had curled up inside me, totally wiped out from the events of the last few hours, and didn’t so much as twitch. Sometimes my snow leopard acted completely independent of me; other times we merged together utterly.
Right now, I was happy to have him asleep, because my emotions were in enough turmoil as it was. I didn’t need his sometimes erratic emotions added into the mix.
Sam threw me a helmet, and for a second, I stared, flabbergasted, at his bike. He straddled the big machine and revved it, looking at me expectantly. “You’ve ridden a bike before, right? As a passenger, I mean?”
I shook my head. Nope. I was too small to ride a big bike on my own, and the few guys I’d been with who’d possessed a bike hadn’t felt safe enough to try me out on it. I didn’t like fast things per se, which most likely had to do with my status as a baby shifter, but maybe that would be okay with Sam. At least, in my dreams it had been more than okay.
“Come here, baby.” Sam slid the helmet deftly onto my head and secured it. He then tapped my butt and instructed me to climb up behind him. “Scoot up close and hold on tight. There’s nothing to worry about, Nicky, I won’t go too fast.”
“I’m not worried,” I lied. No need for him to realize what a chicken I was. After all, he might change his mind about me working as a cop. I could do my work just fine, since it didn’t involve riding motorcycles on a daily basis.
Sam cleared his throat. “I have a serious problem with people lying to me.”
My heart thumped loudly in my chest. “I’m not lying.”
“Nicholas.”
Fuck! I clutched him around his waist and pressed my head as well as possible against his broad back. He could make my name sound like a full lecture, and I didn’t like that one single bit. Relying on our telepathic connection, I said, Sorry. I’ve never been on a bike, and I… I….
You don’t like fast things. Sam didn’t ask; he stated this as a fact.
How did you know? I asked as he pulled out of his parking space, my fingers involuntarily digging deeper into his leather jacket.
My youngest brother, Chris, is a baby shifter too. He hates cars, motorcycles, boats, and so on. Pretty much anything that could go fast. Rides in amusement parks were totally impossible with him. I guessed you’d be the same.
Oh, I said, dumbfounded. Sam had a brother who was a baby shifter? I didn’t know much about my mate if this information was any indication.
What’s he doing for a job?
Reluctantly he replied, He’s a lab assistant at our station.
What?
Sam winced at my shriek. Sarcasm dripped into my voice as I said, You’re allowing your brother to do such a job? I don’t think that’s on the approved list for baby shifters.
Wasn’t my decision. He’s mated to the head of forensics, who’s also the one who managed to get him into the appropriate school. At the time, I thought Reese was a lunatic.
And what do you think now?
I always believed he was a total pushover for allowing Chris to go into the program. Chris begged him for weeks, and he eventually gave in and did everything so Chris could do what he wanted. But now… maybe Reese has been
right all along.
I promise you won’t regret your decision, Sam.
No, I won’t, Sam replied.
I pressed myself more firmly against his backside while heat surged through my body with breakneck speed. My cock gave a long pulse, and I gasped. Shit!
What? What’s wrong?
Oh, fuck, I almost howled in embarrassment.
Nicky, what is it? Sam was about to pull to the curb, and my embarrassment spilled over into total humiliation.
Don’t stop, please.
Nicky, if you don’t tell me right now what’s going on, I’ll stop traffic right here and now!
No, please, Sam. It’s just… just that I came, I whispered.
You… you came? On the bike? Why?
Because you said you won’t regret your decision. It was the best thing you’ve ever said to me, and I just… shit! I’m so ashamed. I curled myself tighter against Sam’s body, still quivering with the aftereffects of the world’s fastest and most surprising orgasm ever.
For a moment, only traffic sounds filtered through my haze of abashment. Then Sam laughed out loud.
Very funny, I growled.
Sam patted my crossed arms around his waist with his left hand, still chuckling. That’s pretty cool.
Says you. I don’t want to walk into the station with a stain on my crotch.
You’re wearing one of my jackets, which should cover your crotch. You have spare clothes in your locker, don’t you?
Yes. I sighed in relief. Now stop laughing at me, you smug bastard.
Sam just let out another bellow of laughter. I smiled to myself.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Sam
MY MOOD had sobered by the time we reached the station. After climbing off the bike, I watched Nicky wrench my jacket over his crotch. His face flushed when he caught me staring.