“It’s a nice thought, isn’t it?”
“It’s a life changing thought because it means we aren’t alone in the world and we never will be.” Niall patted her on the arm and left her to the books. She stood motionless for a few moments, letting the words sink in.
Just as she started returning the books to the shelves, Reece crept up behind her. His arms snaked around her waist, pulling her close to him. “You looked like you needed that.”
Leila spun around in his embrace to face him. She gave him a kiss, making sure he knew it wasn’t him she was weird about. “Thank you.”
“I’ve been worried about you,” he started. “You keep spacing out on me and you disappeared all day the other day. Where’d you go?”
“Just for a ride,” she lied. There were some things she knew she couldn’t tell him. While it felt bad to lie, she couldn’t have him knowing the truth about her visit with Shenay. It would be disastrous.
Reece examined every inch of her face, trying to work out whether she was telling him the truth or not. He didn’t know. “Well, let me know next time and I’ll come with you. It’s safer in pairs, remember?”
She nodded. “Yeah, next time.”
“Is there anything else that’s on your mind?”
“Nothing.”
For the second time, he doubted whether she was telling the truth. But he couldn’t come out and accuse her, not without causing some irreparable damage to their relationship. He would rather she came to him in her own time.
“Okay,” he finally said. “Just remember I’m here if you want to talk about anything. I’ve been told I’m a very good listener.”
“I will, I promise.” She smiled up at him, letting herself melt into his arms. It did feel good there, safe and sound, just like she needed.
A commotion started in the hallway, taking their attention away from each other. Leila and Reece exchange a worried glance before hurrying to check it out.
They didn’t get a chance to make it to the hallway before a crowd of people rushed into the room. Leila quickly counted eight of them, some she knew and others she didn’t.
Reece beamed with the visitors. “I totally forgot we were doing this today. Come in and meet Leila.”
Leila watched as they crowded around her. Two of her regular volunteers were standing at the sides, letting them do their thing. The others introduced themselves as being from the Mayor’s office and also the city newspaper. They looked at her expectantly.
“Should the celebrations be in the library or the museum?” The woman that had introduced herself as the Mayor’s Secretary, Olive Peters, asked. She held a clipboard, for some reason Leila immediately didn’t like her.
“We haven’t really spoken about the re-opening,” Leila muttered in reply, wondering what was going on. She hadn’t agreed to any celebrations, she didn’t even know how they had found out they were almost finished.
One word from her volunteers told her the source of the leak. “Leila was saying she preferred the library so perhaps we could have it here amongst the books?”
“We could even ask people to bring in a book to donate,” the other volunteer chimed in. “We could increase our collection in just one day.”
“The Mayor would like that,” Olive added. “He believes in charity and giving back. I’m sure everyone could find one book to bring along.”
“It’s a good photo opportunity too,” the newspaper guy agreed. “I can get the Mayor making a book donation himself. It will be all smiles, perfect front cover material.”
“So what’s the timing on this?” Olive asked, all eyes fixated on Leila for an answer. She looked at Reece for help, wanting to strangle him at the same time. He knew about this ambush and he didn’t tell her, he deserved to pay for the betrayal.
“I haven’t decided if we’ll have a re-opening event yet,” Leila insisted, wishing they would listen to her. The whole thing was quickly spiraling out of her control and it wasn’t supposed to be like that.
Everyone ignored her, answering the questions themselves. “I think two weeks will be enough time,” the volunteer said. “We can have everything ready by then, right Leila?”
“Two weeks isn’t long enough, we have to take our time.”
“Two weeks it is then.” Olive jotted it down in her clipboard, as if that cemented it as fact. “I’ll schedule the Mayor and start getting invitations out to guests. Are we going formal or semi-formal for the night?”
“Black tie would be nice, we haven’t have a celebration like this in years. Everyone would love to get dressed up.”
“You’re right, what was I thinking?”
“How many balloons do you think this place can hold?”
“At least a thousand, look at that roof.”
“The museum could probably hold more, maybe we should hold it there instead?”
“There’s probably better photo opportunities in the museum, the displays are more interesting than books.”
Leila had heard enough, all she could hear was the disembodied voices of the crowd. “I have to get out of here,” she mumbled. Nobody paid any attention to her as she fled for the door.
She didn’t stop at the street, instead Leila kept going. She didn’t have a destination in mind, she just knew she had to get away from it all. The library was supposed to be her safe haven, a place that was quiet and just hers in which to retreat. Now, it was overrun by people she didn’t know – or trust. It wasn’t her special place anymore.
She turned left and crossed the street, barely taking any notice of her surroundings. Before long she was leaving the city buildings behind and entering the suburbs.
The sensible voice inside told her to stop and head back, but she couldn’t. It was no longer bearable to breathe in the city, even out in the residential neighborhood it was difficult. All the stress and worry was collapsing in on her. She couldn’t process anything anymore. And where was than damn angel?
She stomped along, not caring if anyone saw her and thought she was strange. They were so far removed from her radar they may as well have been spinning into space. Or perhaps that was her, she couldn’t be sure.
When her legs started to hurt, Leila finally looked around at her surroundings. She was nowhere near home, of that she was certain. Yet somehow everything seemed familiar. She tried to remember when she had last been there, she was certain she had been once. At least once, maybe more times.
She slowed her pace and looked around in earnest. The houses were a mixture of destroyed and rebuilt. It looked like some had people living in them, although it wasn’t as overt as in her own neighborhood.
Leila stopped outside one particular house, she wasn’t sure why that particular one fascinated her so much. The door was covered in graffiti and it didn’t look like anyone actually lived there. The whole property looked derelict, like nobody owned it or cared to.
She approached the door carefully, still wary that people might be squatting inside. Some people were still deciding to be survivalists instead of integrating back into the community. She didn’t blame them, it was their choice, but she knew they were dangerous if you accidently stumbled across them.
“Hello?” She called out, pushing at the door. The hinges creaked as it moved open. “Is anyone here?”
There was no answer, it gave her enough confidence to continue inside. She found herself in a living room, well three walls of a living room anyway. The back wall was collapsed into a discarded pile of bricks on the floor.
Without even thinking about it, Leila knew there would be a garage to her right and a hallway to the left that would lead to bedrooms and a bathroom. The kitchen would be further on to the right, behind the back of the garage.
She tested her theory, seeing every room exactly where she had expected it to be. She was particularly pulled to the garage. Inside was a bed, a coffee table, and a lounge. Someone had been living there, but obviously not for a long time. Dust and grime had built up over some months.
Leila now knew for sure she had been there before. The rubble of bricks in the backyard matched the scene in her memory. One of those bricks had caused her to fall over, right beside where she and the angel had argued.
Yet that was the only piece of memory she had of the entire house. How could she have spent time there and only remember a few seconds of it? She was so tired of only ever having questions without answers. She wondered whether she could ever find the answers she needed. Or would the questions drive her insane in the meantime?
She never felt like she had a strong grip on her life, not since two years ago when everything started going downhill. But Leila craved it now, she knew she couldn’t continue on like she was. She was trying so hard, with Toby, with Maree, with Reece, but she could only pretend for so long. She was a rubber band, just waiting for the time when she would snap back.
And that time was now. Leila was going to take back control and it all started in the house she couldn’t remember.
“Jerome! You have to come here right now. Jerome!” She yelled out, turning in circles to try to garner some attention. She didn’t know where he might appear if he did and she didn’t want to miss him. “Jerome! Get here now!”
She realized she was shrieking like a crazy woman and laughed, that was exactly what she was. She was as mad as hell and needed nothing but answers. If they didn’t come then she really would plunge off the deep end.
“Jerome! Hurry up and get your butt down here!”
He existed and he had to get there, quickly before she completely blew her top. Leila continued to yell out, if Shenay could summon her angel, then she could do the same. He had to come, he better for his own good, she vowed.
“I’m here, you can stop yelling,” Jerome’s voice came from behind. She jumped around to face him. “Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not okay,” she replied indignantly, like he shouldn’t even need to ask. Leila thought she was making it quite clear she had a serious problem that needed fixing.
Jerome took a cautious step closer, wanting to comfort her and immediately fix whatever was bothering her. The problem was, he had no idea what it was.
“Are you hurt? Injured?”
“I am hurt, yes.”
He ran his eyes over her, trying to find a wound or a broken bone. She looked fine, with the exception of the tension in the way she stood. “Are you in pain? Should I take you to the hospital? Is it open again?”
“I don’t need a hospital, I need some answers.” Leila crossed her arms, biting her lip while she tried not to cry. “Do you know where we are?”
Jerome looked around, noticing their surroundings for the first time since he had arrived. He knew it well, it was their home for many days while they figured out Tireseas’s prophecy.
“Yes, I know this place,” he replied. He was wary of giving away information, just like he had been when he first revealed himself to her. He hated having to be so guarded with her.
“Why am I here? What is so special about this house?”
“I can’t tell you.”
She stomped her foot, feeling like a two year old having a tantrum but was beyond caring. “You have to tell me, you owe me that. I have this blank memory and only get these minute flashes that tease me with information. I can’t take it any longer, I have to know. Why won’t you tell me?”
Jerome saw the pleading in her voice reflected in her eyes. He wanted desperately to take her in his arms and kiss away the pain. Perhaps then the hurt in his heart would stop too. Or perhaps it would make it all the worse when he had to say goodbye, he didn’t know.
In those few moments where they just stared at each other, Jerome had to decide where his loyalties laid. Did he continue on with the council’s instructions, rules, and regulations? Or did he put all his faith in Leila, the way he had only six months earlier. He needed to decide – and fast.
“Jerome, tell me.”
When he thought about it, there was no decision to make. “The Grand Council of Guardian Angels wiped your memory. They took away everything about the time we spent together. That’s why you can’t remember.”
Leila tried to understand but she couldn’t. Taking away someone’s memory? It just sounded too surreal. A million questions ran through her head, which was ironic considering she had only demanded answers of the angel. Now he had opened up a brand new can of worms.
“How? Why?” She started, unable to form sentences.
“They were trying to protect all angel kind by making sure you couldn’t remember them. Humans can’t know about the existence of angels, they can’t know they are being protected.”
Her own words came from his mouth and she knew when she had spoken them to Shenay she was actually parroting him. They weren’t her words at all.
“I would have kept the secret, they didn’t have to do this to me. What else did they take away?”
“Just your memory, I swear.”
“How did I even know about you in the first place?” She uncrossed her arms, using them to silently plead for information instead. She needed to know everything.
“You’d better sit down,” Jerome sighed. “This could take a while, there’s a lot you need to know.”
They went into the backyard through the large hole in the wall and sat on the lawn. A cool breeze was blowing, ruffling Jerome’s grey wings with it. She couldn’t help but stare at them, wondering if she was actually stuck in a dream and unable to wake up. She wouldn’t call it a nightmare, but it was bordering.
Over the next hour, Jerome started their story from the beginning and telling it in order. He wanted to include everything so he could never be accused of hiding the truth from her. She deserved to know, despite the repercussions that may come from the council. He would gladly take the punishment for her. If he could take away even a part of her anguish, he would. He was just glad he was finally getting the opportunity to try.
Leila listened intently, trying to fit in the pieces of her memory she could recall. He spoke openly and she did trust what he was telling her. She was well aware he could have said anything and she wouldn’t know the difference, but she knew he spoke only the truth to her.
He ended the story with her banishment back to Earth and his appointment as her guardian angel. With his tale finally told, he relaxed, ready for the questions.
But Leila had run out of things to ask. His details had been so complete that she doubted there was anything omitted. Finally, everything she had been missing and thought lost forever over the past six months had been restored. Having the memories herself would have been nice, but at least she had an understanding now. She knew what had been missing, that went a long way to feeling sane again.
But even more than that, she had slain the demon? The whole world had been influenced by evil and she was the one who had saved them all? Out of everything she had just heard, that fact sounded the most implausible. She was just an ordinary girl, she wasn’t capable of such things, surely? She let it go, needing to think about it more privately.
“Leila? Do you want to know anything else?” Jerome prompted her again, waiting for a response.
“Why was it punishment for you to be my guardian angel?” She asked, grasping onto the only piece of information that didn’t seem to fit.
“Because-” Jerome stopped, he didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t tell her how much he loved her, it wouldn’t be right. It would also make her feel bad when she couldn’t reciprocate the feelings. Benecio’s words echoed in his mind, she didn’t love him like he did her. He couldn’t bring himself to say it.
“Because why?”
He had to think quick. “Because they had to make sure your memory didn’t come back. I was told to report back to them if it did.”
“Are you going to tell them now?”
Jerome shook his head, that was never going to happen. “No, I’m pretty sure they would try and wipe it again.”
“So why would they trust you to watch me then? Cl
early you’re not working for them,” Leila continued to probe, trying to make sense of his explanation.
“I guess they got it wrong,” Jerome answered, fidgeting under the scrutiny. He wished she would just drop it. “I should get you home before it starts to get dark.”
Leila watched him, feeling in her gut there was something he was hiding. It was strange, considering how open and honest he had been. He had called his appointment punishment, but being a spy for the council wasn’t very harsh. Especially considering hers had been to have an entire period in her life vanished from her mind forever.
All of a sudden, it hit her. His guardianship would only be punishment if he didn’t want to do it. The only reason he wouldn’t want to do it would be because it hurt him. Protecting her and not being able to communicate with her would be torturous if he had feelings for her.
Jerome loved her, the angel protecting her was in love with her. She knew it without having to ask. He had hidden something from her but she had figured it out. He wore his emotions on his sleeve, it wasn’t difficult.
Like a bolt of lightning, another thought struck Leila. This one shook her to the core. She loved him. All those emotions she was trying to suppress about the one thing missing from her life bubbled to the surface. She had held onto the feeling because she loved him. Why else couldn’t she have let it go? Why else hold onto it for six months?
She was suddenly so tired she couldn’t think anymore. It was too much information to take in, way too much to process. “I think I need to get home now.”
“I’ll walk with you.” Jerome stood, not willing to take no for an answer. He was still responsible for her, she was still his to protect.
“You don’t have to do that, I can find my own way,” Leila protested. She needed her space now, she needed time to figure everything out. “And apparently I can kill things with swords so I’ll be fine on my own.”
“You can’t get rid of me that easily,” Jerome smiled, remembering how stubborn she could be. Little did she know, he could be worse.
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