He really was happy. Rowan made him feel alive in ways Kasen had never thought possible, and he was eternally indebted to him for it.
“Good morning!”
Kasen turned his head to see Jessica and Diana entering the dog park. Diana was limping slowly, but she seemed to be in high spirits as her tail wagged gently.
“Hey, Jess,” Kasen smiled, nodding in her direction. “Fancy meeting you here on such a cold morning.”
“It is pretty cold. Where did this snow even come from? We never get snow,” She laughed, tugging at the scarf around her neck as she closed the gate and joined him. “But I really needed a quick breather before I started cooking. It’s an all-day thing and I’ll miss the silence once I get back home.”
“I bet,” Kasen chuckled. He watched as Diana limped towards Houston, curiously sniffing his face as her tail wagged again. “How’s she doing?”
“Better,” Jessica replied. “So much better. I can never thank Doctor Kelly enough for helping her.”
“Yeah,” Was Kasen’s simple reply as he dropped his gaze to the ground. He could feel the heat rising to his cheeks, and it was silly to get shy just from the mention of his name.
“Can I ask you something?”
Kasen’s blue eyes slowly lifted to meet hers as he quirked a brow, “I suppose so. Shoot.”
“Okay, well, don’t get mad,” She smiled, biting at her lower lip. “Are you and Doctor Kelly an item?”
So much for not blushing, Kasen thought as his entire face went red. His heart floated around aimlessly within his chest as he smiled.
“You can tell me,” Jessica said reassuringly as she nudged his hip with her own. “I mean, in my personal opinion, I think you two would be so cute together.”
“What?” Kasen erupted in nervous laughter as he stared at her with wide eyes.
“It’s true!” Jessica giggled softly as she tilted her head to the side. She shielded her eyes with a gloved hand to prevent the sun from blinding her as her smile grew bigger. “I think he’s a very nice man, Kasen, and you deserve someone who will be good to you.”
“I don’t know…” Kasen replied awkwardly. He dropped his gaze to the ground as his hands sought out the warmth of his coat pockets. “He is really nice-he’s great,” He stammered. “I just…you know how this place is, Jess. Chartreuse isn’t ready for people like me.”
“Isn’t ready?” She stared at him. “I reckon Chartreuse was ready for you by the time you came into the world. Why should you have to hold off on happiness until we’re ‘ready’?”
She made a valid point. Chewing at his bottom lip for a moment, Kasen sighed, “You know what I’m trying to say.”
“No, I don’t,” Jessica frowned. “Kasen, there’s nothing wrong with you, if that’s what you’re thinking. You’re not different. You put your pants on the same way everybody else around here does, don’t you?”
Oh man. If he had a penny for every time he’d heard that expression in his lifetime. A small, sad smile toyed at the corners of his mouth as he glanced at her from the corner of his eyes.
“We’re late for everything, Jess. Even if the rest of America, and even the state of Alabama, accepts gay people…Chartreuse won’t be as kind.”
“Oh, shut up!” Jessica exclaimed as she swatted his arm. He stared at her in surprise. “Kasen Reed, you listen to me,” She scolded with a waggle of her index finger. “You have just as much right to love whoever you want to as I do. Don’t you go thinking like that, you hear me?”
He was stunned by her reaction to the conversation, so much so that he couldn’t make his mouth work. He simply blinked.
“Do you?” She repeated, cocking her head to the side.
“Y-Yes, Ma’am,” Kasen finally replied.
“Good,” She nodded firmly. “I need to get back home to put the turkey on. Do you have any dinner plans?”
“Uh,” He thought for a moment as his eyes wandered over the clear morning sky. “I think I’m supposed to go to my mama’s at some point,” Though he hardly enjoyed the thought of that. His mother wouldn’t even cook, and she would find a reason to bicker with him. It didn’t sound fun.
“Oh,” Was Jessica’s response as she smacked her palm against her thigh. “Come on, Diana. Come here, girl.”
Kasen shifted his weight from one foot to the other, watching as both dogs approached them. Houston was just as excited as Diana as he jumped up onto Jessica, yelping happily.
“Get down,” Kasen scolded gently. “She ain’t taking you home with her, you doofus.”
“It’s okay,” Jessica laughed, patting Houston’s head. “He’s a sweet dog, Kasey. I suppose he gets that from you.”
“I suppose,” He grinned sheepishly, sinking down into the warmth of his coat as his eyes met hers. “I hope you have a great Thanksgiving, Jess. It was real nice to see you again.”
“Same,” She nodded, attaching the leash back to Diana’s bright red collar before straightening up. “Well, if anything falls through today-Lord forbid it happening though-you’re always welcome to come by our place for some dinner. I’ll have more than enough.”
“Thank you,” Kasen’s smile grew bigger as he returned her wave, watching her leave. He wasn’t used to people inviting him over for dinners. In fact, he wasn’t used to a lot of things, like the text he received on his way back home from the park.
Gobble Gobble. Let’s grab a late lunch at 2? Heading in to the office to check up on Sosa. See you soon.
It was amazing how simple words could have such an effect on his lungs. Kasen forgot to breathe as he re-read the text message again and felt his knees tremble. He enjoyed spending time with Rowan and the past month had seriously been the best month of his entire life. He would be insane to say no!
“Come on, Boy,” He grinned from ear to ear, pushing open the front door to his apartment eagerly before stepping inside. “We have to get ready for a lunch date.”
And he would get ready for it, even if things wouldn’t quite work out that way.
----------------------
Chartreuse had gone insane over the small dusting of snow that magically appeared overnight. Rowan tried very hard not to laugh at the locals as they attempted to drive down the streets at five miles an hour, cursing and shaking their fists angrily at one of mother nature’s coldest gifts.
Snow wasn’t a big deal for him; ever. He was used to driving in the stuff, but Alabama wasn’t a place that was accustomed to such weather. Of course, it had to happen on Thanksgiving of all days, and there was more activity today than usual.
Rowan pulled into the parking lot of the clinic, shutting off the engine before getting out and watching an old clunker of a car creep by at a snail’s pace. Whoever was driving that vehicle must’ve been terrified of sliding into the ditch. Didn’t they have a snow plow in this place?
Clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, Rowan whistled an upbeat tune as he let Napoleon out of the backseat and grinned.
“Today is going to be a great day,” He stated as he shut the door and then winked at his furry companion. “Do you know why?”
Of course the dog wasn’t going to respond, but sometimes Rowan was certain animals would talk back if they had the capability. He was mid-reply to his canine when he turned to face the clinic, and his heart dropped into his stomach.
The windows facing the road were busted, pieces of shattered glass resting against the snowy bushes and sidewalk, and angry red letters on the door stared at him with a vicious dose of reality.
FAGGOT.
It took a few minutes for Rowan to remember how to make his legs work, and he finally managed to find the correct key to get inside with trembling fingers. He couldn’t stop shaking. He was so angry.
“Who would do this?” He asked quietly as he pushed the door open and stepped inside. Napoleon carefully stepped around the shattered glass, whimpering as he bowed his head to sniff at the floor. It was almost like the dog could sense the wrongd
oing that had taken place.
He was relieved to find nothing had been damaged on the inside. Whoever decided to vandalize the clinic didn’t bother to come inside. Thank God. Rowan allowed his bottom lip to escape his teeth as he hurried to the back to check on Sosa, the fire department’s newest mascot. The chief had brought him in the day before to be neutered, and Rowan hoped he was still safe.
“Sosa?” He called out, pushing open the swinging door and stepping inside. “You okay, Boy?”
The recovering Dalmatian lazily lifted his head from the crate he was resting in, giving a small wag of his tail upon hearing a friendly voice.
“Hey, Sosa,” Rowan whispered as he crouched down and released the latch, opening the door. He reached inside, patting his head gently. “Did they scare you?”
He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, so he used his free hand to fish it out, glancing at the text he’d received.
I can’t wait to see you.
He felt the heaviness on his heart return, and Rowan wondered what the hell he was supposed to do now. Someone knew, and he doubted they would stop with vandalism. It could get so much worse….and he knew that from experience.
Ever since the day Rowan realized he was ‘different’ from the other boys at his school, life stopped being easy. People looked at him differently; treated him differently. It took a long time for him to find the courage he needed; the motivation to stand up for himself and his rights as a human being. Life was hell until he found the metaphorical balls of steel a person had to develop in order to survive in a cruel world. He refused to revert back to a life of fear and he’d be damned if he allowed the anonymous bigotry to land at Kasen’s doorstep.
“I want to press charges,” Rowan stated firmly as he stared at the young police officer standing on the sidewalk. He hugged his coat tighter around his body, hands tucked away beneath his arms in an effort to keep them warm. He wasn’t sure why the cop couldn’t come inside to file the report. It was starting to snow again…..
“Yeah, well, it’ll be hard to do that without knowing who’s responsible for the damage,” The police officer replied, glancing up at Rowan with a hard gaze. “I mean, we could probably file a criminal mischief complaint for ya-tomorrow, but we still have to have a name to go with the crime, ya know what I’m sayin’?”
Rowan felt his blood pressure rising to dangerous levels as the anger boiled just below the surface of his heated skin. The muscle in his jaw worked into overtime as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
“So you’re not even going to try to find out who did this?” He asked, trying to keep his tone as calm as possible. “I have surveillance video, you know. I can go get it for you. It was somebody in a truck and I’m pretty sure you’ve got the technology at the police department to pull it in for a closer view.”
The officer cocked his head to the side, narrowing his eyes at Rowan, “You tryin’ to tell me how to do my job, boy?”
Rowan did not like the way the cop called him ‘boy’. It was condescending and downright degrading. Who the hell did he think he was?
“No, Sir,” Rowan replied in a lower voice. “But I think it only makes sense to approach this situation from all possible angles. I have evidence and I want this person brought in. They’ve caused significant damage and that,” He pointed to the large red word on his door. “That is a hate crime. That is a felony.”
“Now hold on just a second,” The cop held up his hands and shook his head. “Boy, this ain’t California. We do not base a little graffiti as a hate crime ‘round here. Did anybody beat you down?”
“No, but-”
“Have you been receiving harassing phone calls or threatened in your own home?”
“No! That’s absurd. I just want-”
“There ain’t been no hate crime here,” The officer repeated in a firmer tone. “Now it’s Thanksgiving Day and I’m sure you’ve got…” He looked Rowan up and down before sneering slightly. “Somewhere to be. Why don’t you just close up shop and mosey on your way?”
Unbelievable! Was this really happening? Could a town really be so uncivilized and so far behind on basic human rights that they honestly didn’t consider this to be a hate crime? Rowan stood there, utterly at a loss for words as the cruiser backed out and drove away, leaving him with the jarring realization that Chartreuse didn’t give a damn about protecting anybody-at least not somebody like him.
He pulled his cellphone from his pocket as he locked up, re-reading Kasen’s message. He couldn’t tell him about this. He couldn’t expose Kasen to the evils of narrow-minded morons, so it was with a heavy conscience that he sent out a reply before putting his car into reverse.
Something came up and I can’t make it. Rain check for another day?
Chapter Eighteen
Did he do something wrong?
Kasen couldn’t understand why Rowan’s behavior had suddenly changed. They’d gone from hanging out every day to barely even talking at night time. He hated the sick feeling that constantly took residency in his stomach. What did he do to make Rowan so distant?
He couldn’t even find joy in his job anymore; and that was saying something. The night was dragging by and he couldn’t care less if anybody phoned in with a request. Of course, they came either way. He put on his best poker face-or poker voice, if you will-and played the songs they wanted to hear, although he had a strong desire to play Journey back to back.
Glancing at the clock, he considered trying to phone Rowan again. It was nearing eleven o’clock and it was just Friday. He knew that Rowan more than likely would sleep in, so what would it hurt to try and call him again?
“I probably shouldn’t,” He mumbled as he stared at his phone. The damn thing was taunting him, begging for him to touch the keys and dial the number tingling at his fingertips. All he had to do was call……
The station’s line rang then, and he nearly fell out of his seat.
“Shit,” He sighed, reaching over to grab the receiver. He pressed the button and cleared his throat. “Cool Kasey on the-”
“I know what you are,” a gruff voice growled on the other end.
“Beg your pardon?” Kasen switched ears quickly, glancing at the caller ID. Unknown. Of course.
“I know what you are,” The voice repeated. It was distinctly male, and Kasen couldn’t help but to find it to be familiar. “You better watch yourself, you fucking queer.”
“Hey,” Kasen’s voice became stern as he gripped the receiver. “I don’t know who the hell you think you-”
Click.
He fell back in his chair, staring at the phone in disbelief. Had that really just happened? Did someone really call in to the station and say that? His heart was beating painfully hard against his ribcage as he licked his lips and willed his mind to slow down. This couldn’t be…..
The line was ringing again and he could hear his pulse thundering in his ears. He was going to nip this in the butt before it had a chance to begin. He snatched the phone up in a hasty manner, clenching his teeth.
“Listen, Asshole. I don’t know what your-”
“Um….do I have the wrong number?”
Embarrassment washed over him in mind blowing waves as he pressed his palm against his hot forehead, “No. I’m so sorry. This is Cool Kasey. Did you have a request?”
“Kasey, are you okay?”
He blinked, quirking a single brow as the voice finally matched up to a face in his mind, “Jess?”
“Yeah! Hey, are you all right? You sound….off. What was up with that greeting?”
“Oh my god, Jess. I’m so sorry,” He whispered, shaking his head. “I, uh, I’ve just been dealing with prank callers tonight. I’m really sorry.”
“No, no. It’s completely okay. You’ve been getting prank calls? What assholes!”
“Yeah,” He released a low breath as he pressed his feet against the floor, turning from side to side in his swivel chair. “What can I play for you?”
---------------------
His room was eerily quiet as the seconds ticked by. The radio was off, and Napoleon’s occasional huff was the only thing Rowan heard as he rolled onto his side and buried his face into the pillow. He usually fell asleep to the sound of Kasen’s voice on the radio, or Kasen’s voice on the other end of the line as they bid each other goodnight; but just like the last two nights, Rowan found himself restless and plagued by worries he didn’t deserve to be experiencing.
He knew it wasn’t right; it wasn’t fair. Kasen didn’t deserve the silent treatment Rowan was putting him through, but how else was he supposed to protect him? Furthermore, what the hell had Rowan been thinking? Why had he been so damn optimistic and hopeful that a small southern town would be accepting of him? Of them?
He wouldn’t expose Kasen to that. The boy had been through enough without adding on heaps of hate from the bible thumpers surrounding them. Kasen had opened up to him a great deal over the last little while, and Rowan strongly disliked Mrs. Reed; she just sounded like a psychotic cow in his mind-and that was an insult to cows!
He’d picked a hell of a time to quit smoking. Jesus Christ. He wanted a cigarette so badly it was killing him, but he and Kasen had made a pact to give up the nasty habit before the new year. Well…at least they’d made the pact before all of this started. Kasen probably hated him now and he couldn’t blame him for that. He was just trying to protect him…..
Going against his better judgment, he leaned across the mattress and reached out to flick on the radio, immediately taking comfort in hearing Kasen on the air.
At least, he was taking comfort in it until he heard the tone of the other male’s voice.
“Here’s another song that I just feel like playing tonight,” Kasen said flatly. “Maybe it’s a message to whoever thinks it’s funny to call in and say stupid things, but either way, I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do.”
Rowan pushed himself out of bed upon hearing Eminem’s “I’m Not Afraid”, and he could feel the icy grip of dread clutching at his heart. Kasen was playing it for a reason, and something had happened.
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