“Doesn’t all that horrify you? You might think it’s no big deal to have your life on display, but even though I know it’s all lies, real people will read it and believe it.” My hands clapped across my mouth as I realized my parents would see this. “Oh, God, Mom’s going to have a field day, Micah.”
“Don’t worry about Mom.” He took both my hands in his. “Just ignore it, Eden. It will blow over. It isn’t real life.”
I tilted my head and looked at Micah. He’d grown more confident every day on this tour. Every day he’d performed to screaming audiences. Every day he’d soaked up declarations of love from new fans. Every day more and more girls vied for his attention.
“Micah, your real life is here, and you live a charmed fantasy. My real life is back home where this kind of story matters.” I squeezed his hands. “I can’t live in this fish bowl.”
“What do you want to do? Do you want to go home?”
“I don’t know.” What did I want? “I want to be with Adam, but I also want to be able to go out in public with him without always worrying about all that.” I pointed at the laptop. “Is it too much to ask for?”
My phone buzzed again. I looked at the screen.
“It’s Stacy. She must have seen the article.” My notifications showed that I had seven voice messages and over twenty missed calls. I hit Answer.
“Eden! Oh, my God. There you are finally.”
“Hey, Stacy. I guess you saw the German papers?”
“German papers? What?”
Micah crooked a brow at me, inquisitive. I shook my head. “Never mind. What’s up?”
“It’s about the perfume. That reporter came here today.”
My hands went numb, but all I could think to say was, “Okay.” This must be what it felt like to listen to a doctor revealing the prognosis of a biopsy. At that precise moment, things could have turned out to be no big deal. Or my worst nightmare might have been coming to life.
“And did they send him away again?”
“Oh, Eden.” She sniffled. Was she crying? “They paid Kelly to spill.” Her voice spiked an octave. “I don’t know what she told them. She said she’s got a gag order and can’t talk until after the story comes out. But you have to assume the worst, Eden.”
“The worst.” I couldn’t even conceive of the worst. “You think they’re going to reveal what the perfume does?”
“I think you can count on it.”
The fans outside the buses cheered as the band began exiting the stadium, and I knew when Adam was on his way out by the deafening shrieks. Our life was about to get a whole lot more complicated.
“I have to go, Stacy. Thanks for the heads-up.”
“Good luck, Eden.”
I implored Micah with wide-eyed little sister eyes. “Can you give us some space? I need to talk to Adam.”
He gave me a hug and said, “Everything will be all right.”
Moments after Micah left, Adam bounded up onto the bus with the evidence of brazen fan affection stamped all over his cheeks and lips. I didn’t even feel up to teasing him about it. The ground beneath my feet had opened up, and I was fighting not to fall through.
He scrubbed at the lipstick on his skin as he moved toward me. “You scared everyone.” He lifted my hand and kissed my fingers. “Are you okay?” His look of concern warred with a sexy half smile.
I pulled him onto the bench beside me. “I’m okay. But we need to talk. I have to tell you something, and it’s serious.” I swallowed hard. “And you might be mad.”
His smile slipped. “Are you leaving?”
“What? No. I mean—”
“Is this about Adrianna? Shane told me there was an article in the tabloids. I’ll take care of it tomorrow. Okay? Promise.”
I laid a finger across his lips. He kissed it. I said, “Shhh. Please listen.”
He sat still and listened.
“The company I work for—” I looked into his eyes; they were so dark, like the deepest night. “I told you we make perfume. And we do, but I didn’t tell you everything.”
He leaned against the bench and propped his elbow across the back. “So tell me.”
Nervously, I continued. “I work at a lab that specializes in drugs to enhance, you know. Romance.”
“You make boner pills?”
“That, among other things.” I breathed in and out. This was the moment. “They’re also developing a perfume to carry a pheromone-reception enhancer.”
He scratched his cheek, where a day’s worth of scruffy beard gave him an advantage far more unfair than any drug. I resisted the urge to lay my hand on his face.
“English, please?”
“It’s a chemical that would flip on a gene to make someone more responsive, you know, sexually.”
“So—what? You’re creating a boner perfume?”
I smiled a little. “Not exactly. But the perfume is meant to increase attraction, chemically. Adam, I had it on the night we met. Do you remember when I let you smell it on my wrist?”
He laughed. “You think I was attracted to you because you were wearing some kind of love potion?”
“I don’t know. It’s a drug, Adam.” I blinked, surprised to feel a tear fall from a lash. All the crazy emotions of the day were catching up to me. “I swear I didn’t know what they were developing until I’d already worn it out.”
He lifted my arm and kissed my wrist. “Is that why I can’t resist you?” His lips moved up my forearm to the inside of my elbow.
“Adam, listen.”
He chuckled. “I can’t. I’m under a spell, Eden.” He nuzzled my neck and bit my earlobe. Then he whispered, “I can’t control myself. It’s all your fault.”
“Adam, would you stop? This isn’t funny.” I pushed him.
His lips curled into that wicked smile. “It’s kind of funny.”
“You don’t understand.” I scooted away before he could kiss me again, but he reached over and laid his hand on my thigh. I ignored him and pressed on. “Adam, a reporter found out about the perfume and interviewed one of my coworkers. This is all going to come out in the tabloids tomorrow. I’m pretty sure the story will include something about us.”
He jerked his head up and frowned. “What kind of story?”
“For sure about the perfume and my company.” I choked back my fear. If I’d told him about the perfume a week ago, this part of the conversation wouldn’t be making me so sick. “It’s probably going to mention me. And you.”
In one fluid motion, his hand moved from my thigh back to his. “You mean I was going to find out everything you just told me tomorrow anyway?”
“If not tomorrow, soon.” My fists clenched tight. I thought he’d be mad about the perfume, but I knew he’d be livid about a self-serving confession.
He narrowed his eyes. His face had lost all the softness. “Is that the only reason you’re telling me this now? You’re trying to get in front of a story?”
“Listen.” I held up my hand. “Adam. I always meant to tell you about this, but—” I edged closer to him, gently, as though he were a skittish woodland creature that might bolt at any sudden movement.
“But you didn’t.”
“No. I told you you’d be mad.”
He looked at his feet and rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know if I’m mad. I wish you’d told me sooner.” He met my eyes. “It makes me wonder why you didn’t. It didn’t seem like that big a deal. Now—”
“I’m sorry. I should have.” I picked up his hand. “Can you forgive me?”
He drew his hand back and stood. “I need some time to think about it.” He walked back toward the alcove and started sorting through his drawer, taking out a fresh T-shirt and boxers.
“Adam?”
He tossed a pillow on the bench. “You can sleep in the back.”
A lump formed in my throat. I got up and touched his shoulder. Goose bumps prickled his skin. “Please don’t stay mad. Come sleep with me.”
&
nbsp; He looked into my eyes, and for the first time, I didn’t see unfettered desire hiding there.
“Yeah, okay,” he said, without much enthusiasm.
We got ready for bed in silence. When he climbed in next to me, I lay my head on his chest, but he didn’t wrap his arms around me, and after a few minutes, he rolled onto his side away from me. I pressed up against his back and fell asleep listening to his heart beat, hoping Micah was right and everything would work itself out.
* * *
Sunlight streamed through the windows. I stretched out and wrapped the blanket tight over me, coming to awareness slowly. The bus wasn’t moving, so I figured we must be in Copenhagen. I sat up and folded the curtain back a little to peer outside. The blinding light hurt, but I adjusted slowly. It was a parking lot outside another arena. If there were any fans about, they were well camouflaged and probably freezing.
Adam must’ve woken up earlier. It was taking me forever to adjust to the time difference. I rubbed my eyes and followed the sounds from the front of the bus, hoping he’d made some coffee. I found him on one of the benches, hunched over his phone. He scratched the back of his head.
“Adam?” I yawned.
His eyes lifted to meet mine. Cold. “Now I see why you never told me this before.”
“What? What are you doing?”
He ran his thumb across his screen, scrolling. “ ‘She acted as if she didn’t even know who he was . . .’”
My heart rose into my throat. “Is that it?”
He tossed me his phone. I read the headline on the top of the gossip site. It was titled “Sex Drugs and Rock ’n’ Roll.”
My hand flew to my mouth. There was a very real possibility I might throw up. I searched out the byline and was not surprised to discover Andy Dickson—that weasel from the night we went out to dinner. I scanned the article. It was all there. Kelly had fed the gossip magazine a story that made me look bad from every angle. I dropped on the bench, reading.
Coworker Kelly Wilcox confirms the company has invented a drug that switches on a genetic signal to amp up pheromone reception. “Eden had been testing the perfume before she left, and I took over her role. I know what that drug can do. And she knew it, too. And she used the chemical to her advantage. How else could she land someone like [Adam Copeland]? [ . . . ] And then she acted as if she didn’t even know who he was. Can you imagine?”
This was bad. This was very bad. My boss . . . Oh, God, this was going to get me fired.
And Adam. Oh, God. Adam.
I looked up at him, trying to assess the damage. Last night, he’d been a little upset, but he’d found some humor in it. Maybe today, he’d shrug it off. But his expression was so dark. Hurt and anger resonated from his stiff body language, heavy breathing, and red eyes. Had he been crying?
“So did you really not know who I was?” He ran his hand over his face, exhaling a shuddering breath. “Tell me you didn’t know I was meeting Micah at the club that night.”
“Huh?” It took me a full second to catch up to how Adam would have read the exact same article. “Is that what you think?”
He leaned forward, elbows on knees. “Tell me what else I can think, Eden.” His head dropped forward, his face in his palms. “I knew this was too good to be true.”
“Can I explain?”
He fixed me with his eyes, pleading. “I wish you would.”
“I didn’t have any idea you were meeting my brother.” I moved to the berth across from him and reached over to take his hand. He didn’t pull away from me. That seemed a good sign.
“I wasn’t even interested in you until—”
“Until what?” He stood up and paced the length of the aisle. He wasn’t listening. “You even told me you don’t date musicians. And all this time, I’d let myself think you saw past everything. What kills me is that I thought you liked me despite all this.” He shook his head. “Oh, the irony.”
This was way worse than I’d anticipated. My stomach twisted into knots. “Adam, I was attracted to you way before I even knew who you were.”
“Your coworker seems to think you already knew. It doesn’t add up, Eden. I was meeting your brother, and I’ve seen how close you two are. He must have told you.” He closed his eyes tight, and for a second, I thought he might faint. He set his hand on the table for balance. “Why would you lie to me about that?”
“I never lied. Adam. I didn’t know you. Ask Micah if you don’t believe me. I thought Micah was hiring you.” My voice was rising with panic. “And the scientist I work with asked me to wear that perfume without telling me what it did. I was just as clueless as you were.”
He laughed bitterly. “Was I part of their experiment? Or was I just a bonus?”
“Adam.”
“God, I feel like an idiot. The night I met you, I thought it was fate.” His breath came shallow and fast. Red spots blotched his cheeks. “How corny is that?”
I raised my voice. “Adam. It’s the tabloid media. Please believe me. They’re twisting things to sell papers. You of all people should understand that. It isn’t true.”
His shoulders relaxed. He sat down across from me and took a breath. “So the whole thing was a fluke? You only wore the perfume that one time? And you didn’t know me?” His voice had calmed. “Swear it to me.”
I held out my hand, and he took it. I exhaled, relieved that our argument might blow over, and we could move on in complete honesty. Complete honesty. I sighed. “I wore it once more.” A tear formed on the edge of my eyelid and hung there. I blinked, and it fell.
“When?”
“On our first date. The restaurant. But it was only a little. I just panicked.”
His eyes went wide. “You panicked?”
God, I was making things worse. I hadn’t prepared for this at all. “Yes. I’d just discovered who you are, and I panicked. I’m not proud of that.”
“Because you discovered who I am?” His jaw tightened, and he squeezed his fist. I had no idea how deep this emotional iceberg went, but I seemed to be driving straight into it.
“It’s more than that. If you knew . . . How could I compete with thousands of women?”
“Who do you think I am, Eden? If you really thought I randomly picked you out of thousands of women, why would you even want to be with me? Why would you want to trick someone like that into staying with you?”
My voice cracked. “But how could I be sure you really liked me for who I am?”
He whispered. “Trust, Eden. You start with trust.”
“I trust you, Adam.”
He leaned toward me across the open space. “But I’m not sure I can trust you anymore.”
I reached out and touched his cheek. Like an involuntary reflex, he turned his head toward my hand, brushed my wrist with his nose, and breathed in. Electricity arced up my arm, and I nearly pulled him into me. There was no need to, though, because he followed the magnetic force until his face nearly touched mine. His lips were a butterfly kiss away, but he just stared into my eyes.
“Damn it.” He dropped my arm and stepped back. “Is it that chemical making me want to kiss you even when I’m so confused and angry?” He raked a hand through his hair.
“I’m sorry.” I stood and moved toward him.
He backed up until he reached the doors. “I need to get all this out of my system.”
“Adam, please, don’t go. I never meant—”
He shot eye daggers at me. “You never meant what? To make me fall in love with you? Well, you did anyway.” He snorted. “And you know, I really believed you were different.” He laid his hand across his chest, over his heart, where I knew he’d tattooed the kanji for “faith.” Had he lost his faith in me?
I took a hesitant step toward him. “Adam, you were right. I am.” I closed the gap and placed my hand on his wrist, but he jerked his arm free.
“Eden. I can’t do this.” He pushed open the door. “I’m sorry.”
I dropped to my knees. “Adam, please,
don’t go.”
The last thing he said before walking off the bus was “Don’t follow me.”
And he was gone. I stared after him, wanting to chase him. I’d had my chance with words, and they weren’t enough. I’d lost him anyway.
Overwhelmed by sorrow and anger, I asked the bus driver to grab my suitcase out from under the bus. While he did that, I emptied my clothes out of the drawers, dripping snot and tears all over the clean shirts. I wiped my face with a Vampire Weekend T-shirt. I had the irrational thought that I’d forgotten to buy any T-shirts from this tour and made a crazy mental note to ask Micah to get me one. I shoved everything into the suitcase once it was delivered.
It wasn’t as if I hadn’t known this was the way things would go. This was always more than I could handle. More than I deserved.
The suitcase bumped down the steps to the cement. I panicked because I didn’t know how to call a taxi in Denmark. I didn’t know how to call a taxi to come pick me up in the middle of a fucking parking lot. I drag-rolled the suitcase behind me over to Micah’s band’s tour bus to talk to the one person who had to love me unconditionally. He sat inside, eating a bowl of Cheerios. My stomach rumbled. He pushed over an empty bowl, and we ate in silence for a few minutes while Shane and that new bass player argued in the back of the bus. The Cheerios might as well have been Styrofoam.
“I’m leaving,” I said.
Through the half-opened blinds, the sun slanted across his face, leaving black and yellow stripes. He blinked rapidly and then put his hand up as a makeshift visor. The light shone through his palm, turning it bright red.
“What happened, Eden? Did you fight?”
My mouth twisted into an ugly frown. The tears fell hot and fat. I faced the window and bit my lip to get control over myself. Roadies unloaded equipment from one trailer and dragged it across the expanse of parking lot. The show must go on. “We broke up.”
Micah handed me a napkin. “Do I need to kick his ass?”
I laughed through fat blubbering lips and hid my face in my hands. “It’s not his fault.”
“Are you sure you should be leaving?”
Some Kind of Magic Page 21