She giggles as she pulls her dress back on. I pull my pants up, try to wipe off what I can and put my shirt back on. As much as I want to stay and talk and I soak the moment of what this means, there's no time. This is a quickie, this is a fantasy, and this is what she wrote about.
This is what she wanted and I wanted to give it to her.
I kiss her on the lips as I uncheck the emergency stop button. We head back up to floor seventeen. When she gets off there's a whole host of people waiting for us.
“Oh my gosh,” Fiona says. “Is everything ok?”
“Yeah, everything is ok.” Brett answers curtly. Brett gets off the elevator without glancing back at me. And holy shit, I can't be certain, but I think I see some of my cum running down her leg. I have to take the elevator back down for something. Incidentally Troy gets back on on his floor.
“What's up man?” I say with a huge grin.
“Oh, I just forgot something in the meeting room.” He says. “I’ve got to head back down.”
“Oh.”
Troy sniffs. “Does it smell funny in here?”
I pretend like I’m sniffing too. The smell of Brett’s perfume mixed with our sexual encounter permeates the elevator.
“No man, just smells like normal.”
He ruffles his brow, shrugs, and waits for us to arrive at his floor.
“Huh. Well all right then.”
Nineteen - Brett
The next couple of weeks at Blackwell Industries are very intense. And when I say intense, I’m referring to a variety of areas.
To start with, Sebastian and I do it in almost every room in the Blackwell Building we can reasonably hook up in.
The janitor closet.
The gym.
His secretary’s desk when we’re doing a little role playing.
The list goes on and on.
But there's more. I finish with Lacy and Zane's story, so now I'm in the editing phase of the book.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to keep everything afloat that I'm doing for my day job.
Somehow, Sebastian and I haven’t been found out yet. The way we’re sneaking around, it only feels like a matter of time until we slip up, or a weird coincidence results in us getting caught.
My responsibilities at this job have shifted, too. Sebastian claims he has nothing to do with my added responsibility, and that it’s been mostly Bob’s idea.
But today, I’m tasked with reaching out to distributors to help find a way for the distillery to open its doors two months early.
As I sit at my desk, what I really want to be doing is editing my novel. it's almost to the point where I'm confident enough to let Crystal read it. She's been bugging me to show her the book for a while.
I click off the browser I'm using for work stuff and click back onto the Google document where I have the first draft of my book saved.
As I skim the book, a fear pops into my head: if Crystal reads the book, and she knows that I have a real life inspiration for the book, won't she immediately realize that I've been sleeping with Sebastian Blackwell all this time?
I run a hand through my hair and lean back in my chair, taking a deep breath. I don't like thinking about Crystal--or anyone--knowing what I've been up to at my new job.
My paranoia has nothing to do with the NDA I signed either.
My problem has more to do with my own negative self-judgment.
I’ve felt more sexually liberated with Sebastian than I ever thought was possible.
Yet another part of me though, feels off with how things are between us.
I don’t want to be that girl, asking about where the relationship is going when Sebastian has a million important things on his mind every day.
But I can’t help but think, is this it?
Is this as far as we’ll get with the emotional profundity of our relationship? I’m grateful for the inspiration he’s given me. But will we ever be something more?
Then again, I didn’t come into this looking for a marriage proposal.
I scroll through the exploits of Lacy and Zane, noting where they did it in the different chapters. Their love life is more or less a mirror of the sexlife between Sebastian and I, except theirs has a happy ending. Sebastian has even written a healthy amount of the chapters from Zane's point of view.
When I started this job and this benefits situation with my boss I figured it wouldn't last very long. Maybe it would be a one-night thing. But now, the way I'm thinking about him, everything has changed.
I decide I need to tell him how I feel.
“Brett,” a voice says over my shoulder. “What are you working on, honey?”
My heart lurches when I realize two things. One, this is Bob looking over my shoulder, and I absolutely don’t want him to see the dirty words on the screen, and start asking questions about what I’m doing during work hours. Two, Bob just called me honey.
“Oh, nothing,” I say in a sing-song voice, minimizing the Google Docs browser.
“Really?” he says, crossing his arms.“Because that sure as hell didn’t look like nothing. I think I saw some dirty words on the screen. What exactly are you writing? I hope it wouldn’t be anything to violate the rules of the handbook.”
Before I can stop him, Bob leans in and moves the mouse to bring back up the Google document that houses my erotic novel, I freeze like a deer in headlights.
As Bob scrolls, the novel happens to be on a particularly dirty session between Zane and Lacy.
In an elevator. I wonder where I got that inspiration.
“What the...what the hell?! Oh my gosh, is this a sex scene? About a boss and employee?”
For a moment Bob looks at me like I'm a sexual object for his taking, which sends a cold shiver down my spine. I want to tell him so badly that I'm taken, and I want to tell him by who.
But I can't.
“You know, that’s weird...I think my friend sent me that Google document,” I say, nudging Bob’s hand, taking the mouse, and exiting out of the document. “She was playing a trick on me I think.”
I muster a partial smile.
Bob’s face turns part sinister, part creepy. “You know. If you ever need anything Brett, I’m here for you.”
“I'm good, thanks. Anyways I have a lot of work to do so I'm going to get to it.”
Bob leans back, his hands on his hips. He furrows his brow.
“You know what? I don't like your snarky attitude.
“Snarky? I’m not snarky at all!”
“There. See that snark! Denying it again. I think I’m going to put you on notice with HR.”
My heart races a little bit, and I’m not sure why Bob is being such a dick all of a sudden. “Human Resources?”
“That’s right. I don’t know what they’d think of you typing such a weird thing at work. Or even pulling it up on your computer, for that matter.”
The last thing I want is a complaint lodged with human resources, and for them to start digging deeper into everything. God only knows what the consequences would be, if they have access to all of my files.
As if things can’t get any worse, Kim Murphy must have heard the commotion between us, and out of the corner of my eye I see her approaching.
“Hello,” she smiles callously. “What’s all the commotion about?”
Bob sneers. “It seems like Brett here has a habit of getting off task. She won’t tell me exactly what she’s working on, but it’s making me suspicious.
As if he’s got a radar that senses everything, Sebastian suddenly materializes behind Bob.
“Everything all right here?” his voice booms, and Bob launches into the explanation again.
“No,” Bob crosses his arms. “As a matter of fact everything's not alright. Your new hire here is working on some rather illicit materials during work hours.”
Sebastian rocks back on his heel and crosses his arms as if he's very upset. “You don't say. What's this all about, Brett? Is this true?”
I swallow. “I
told Bob. It was just a note that a friend sent me. I shouldn’t have opened it at work. It was a mistake. I won’t do it again.”
“I’m going to let human resources know. I don’t trust her, to be honest, Sir,” Bob says. “Her productivity numbers are quite low for a girl who spends so much time here. I have a feeling she’s been working on something non-work related.”
Sebastian rubs a hand and finger on his chin, as if he is thinking hard. “No,” he says. “Don’t call HR. You know what, let me handle this one personally. Brett, come on into my office.”
“Are you sure?” Kim interrupts. “You have so much on your plate lately. I feel like you’ve been missing some meetings and people don’t know where you are.”
A guilty feeling wooshes through me, because for many of those missed meetings, I’m the one he was with. I absolutely do not want to go with Kim, though.
Sebastian squints, mulling it over.
“I’ll handle it. Come with me, Brett.”
His voice is dominant-sounding, and a little different than the tone he usually uses with me.
It’s his boss voice.
“Yes Sir,” I say. I get up, lock my computer, and follow behind Sebastian, feeling the disapproving gaze of Bob at my back.
Kim scowls even harder at me, and I feel a tinge of jealousy coming from her for the added attention Sebastian is giving me.
Or maybe I’m just imagining that. I can’t tell.
When we arrive to his office, Fiona greets me with a smile. “Oh hi Brett,” she says and stands up. “I didn’t know you had a ten a.m. appointment today. Is this on the schedule?”
“Not on the schedule,” Sebastian booms. “Clear my morning. I have something I need to deal with.”
“Oh,” she says, glancing at me. “Will do.”
Sebastian opens the door to his office. “After you, Miss Blue.”
“Thank you.”
I walk into Sebastian’s office, and just knowing I’m in his lair, in his space, turns me on. I’ve been with him so often in here lately, my body already revs up just by stepping inside his office and being near his presence.
I sit down in the chair, cross my legs, and straighten out the black skirt I have on today.
Sebastian grabs a glass of water and leans against his desk. His light blue suit glimmers in the morning sunlight seeping through the window.
“How are you doing? Bob fuck with you?”
“Bob is acting really weird,” I say. “And he saw me pull up the document with Lacy and Zane’s story. I’m worried he’s going to report me to HR and they’ll start looking into my computer usage. You know, like you did.”
Sebastian nods and takes a sip of his water, his gaze steely. “That could be an issue.”
“Is that something they might do?” I ask.
The thought crosses my mind that I don’t want to be talking about the logistics of getting caught.
I really just wish we were out in the open. Sneaking around has been fun, but it’s getting old.
“They certainly have the power to do so. But I also have the power to tell them to look the other way. Rex is the head of HR. He’s a good friend. I’ve hired him personally. I’ll make sure he squashes any reports coming in.”
I rub my forehead with two fingers. “Sebastian, can I ask you a question?”
“Uh oh. One of those questions that has to be prefaced by you asking me a question.”
“What, are you nervous?”
“I have ice in my veins,” he says with a smirk. “There’s not much that makes me nervous anymore. What’s your question?”
I get up from my chair and walk over to him. He watches me closely. I swear he doesn’t even blink.
“Fuck, you look sexy today,” he says with a wide grin.
“We’re not changing the subject,” I say. “I want to know something. You’ll think it’s silly though.”
“It’s not silly if you’re thinking it. What is it?”
I sigh, and put my hand on his forearm. His body feels hot. “It’s just that, what are we doing here, you and me?”
Sebastian rakes a hand through his hair. “What are we...doing?” he snorts. “I mean I think we’ve been having a great time getting to know each other. That’s what we’ve been doing.”
I bite my lip. “I don’t disagree with you on that. But I’ve been thinking. Is that all we are? Just great sex? Is that all I am to you?”
“Is that all I am to you? Look Brett, you were the one who started using me for inspiration for your romance novel. And you’re going to say...I mean what are you asking exactly? I don’t understand. I thought this was the way you wanted it.”
I take a step closer to him and he wraps his arms around me. “You need me to spell it out for you?”
“Yes.” He lowers his hands down my back, and cups my ass through my skirt. I moan a little. I hate that he has such control over me and my pleasure.
“Okay. Well, you’ve said some really nice things about me in the past few weeks. You’ve said how it ‘doesn’t make any sense’ that I exist. But I do exist. And I’m here. And I want you. I like you.”
“Brett. I don’t know what you want from me. You stated what you wanted going into this--a boss with benefits. Someone to play out your sexual fantasies with. I’ve been that person, and I’ve had a great time with you.”
I look into Sebastian’s gorgeous brown eyes. I notice for the first time he’s got flits of blue around his irises, too. “How have I not noticed your eyes have a little bit of blue in them,” I blurt out, squinting.
His expression turns quizzical. “What are you talking about?”
“I notice something new about you every day,” I smile. “I want to keep noticing things about you.”
“Why are you being so veiled right now? You know I don’t understand womanspeak,” he says as he pulls my body into his. I love the way his muscular chest feels pressed up against me when he holds me tight.
I push him away. “I like you, Sebastian! A lot. Of course I like the sex. You’re a freaking sex god. But I want more. I need more, if this is going to work out.”
He pauses and arches an eyebrow. “Work out...like long term? What do you mean?”
I exhale. I don’t know if he’s deliberately not understanding me, or if real romance beyond hooking up is the one area where Sebastian turns dumb.
“I need a drink,” I say, and head to the bar in Sebastian’s office. I pour myself a ten a.m. tequila, and I feel like I’m in the show Mad Men, where they drink at all hours of the day.
“I’ll join you,” he says. “Pour one for me.”
I pour another and hand it to him. He joins me on the couch, sinking in and putting his arm up along the lip of the sofa.
“Look, I get it,” he says. “What you’re feeling, I’ve been feeling it too. We need to have this talk at some point. So let’s have it. You’re special to me, Brett. This whole thing between us, I know you’ve said you’ve learned a lot. So have I. I mean we’ve lived out so many of your sexual fantasies. Mine too. I feel comfortable with you in a way I’ve never felt with anyone. It’s like the world is our oyster. I’m not sure why I feel so comfortable with you, but I do.”
He fists a bunch of my hair, and my breath hitches. “I feel like I could tell you just about anything too, and you wouldn’t judge me for it.”
His brow furrows and he squeezes my shoulder lightly. “Is there...something you haven’t told me yet?”
I shrug, thinking about a certain fantasy that’s been cropping up in my subconscious lately. I don’t know where it comes from, but it’s been nipping at me late at night when I toss and turn in my bed. Now that Sebastian’s opened Pandora’s Box for me, I can’t deny it’s something I want.
Instead of telling him straight up though, I ask Sebastian a question.
“Do you have any hard limits?”
“Hard limits. Let me think. I wouldn't do a dirty sanchez, Cleveland steamer, or probably not the angry pirat
e—I don’t like those weird ones.”
I roll my eyes. “I'm being serious, Sebastian. I’m going to tell you something but you can't judge me okay? What’s a Cleveland Steamer anyway?”
“It’s where I take a dump on your chest and then titty fuck you,” he says with a straight face.
“I think I'm going to throw up,” I say. “Does anyone actually do that?”
He shrugs. “Lot of interesting people out there. Personally not my cup of tea but, hey, who am I to judge.”
I shiver. “That’s gross.”
“So that's not what you've been dreaming about? Okay, I think I can get on board with whatever you want then. I'm curious as to why you’re hesitant to tell me. You know you can tell me anything.”
I swallow, and exhale slowly.
“I want to have a threesome.”
The words hang in the air, and second pass.
Sebastian's jaw drops in shock. “Holy shit. Like two girls and a guy?”
“No, like one girl and two guys.”
My face turns bright red as I watch Sebastian process this information.
Sebastian takes a long slow pull on his drink. “As much as I would love to give you everything you want, I think seeing you with another guy is a hard limit for me.”
“Okay. It’s alright. Forget I brought it up. I’m sorry.”
He narrows his gaze at me. “But this is something you’ve thought about. Something you really want.”
I nod. “I think so. But maybe this is where the buck stops. Maybe this is one fantasy that’s truly meant to stay as just that--a fantasy. Maybe this one isn’t meant to be.”
“I want to give you everything,” Sebastian says, his voice more hoarse than usual. “Let me think about it. And let's cool it for now with these daytime meetings.”
“Are you saying you're done being my inspiration for Zane? Most of the book is done, but just in case I want to--” I choose my word carefully, “--revise any scenes with you.”
He chuckles. “I’m saying we should lay low while Human Resources is on the lookout for us. Besides, I want to do something different this week.”
He reaches in his pocket and hands me a key. “Take a break for this week. We've got a lot of work to do on the distillery project and the ranch, so this will be a good time to put our heads down and get work done. Plus, I’m traveling for a few days this week. But now you’ve got the keys to my house. Wait for me on Friday evening there. No more email now. Just texting. Sound good?”
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