“I posted my resume on three sites on line, but I haven’t heard back from anyone yet.” This felt like work. Why did he have to have another job? “I checked with the caterer too. They are a go.”
“Okay.”
“You sound stressed.”
“Huh. I wouldn’t know why. I’ve got two more finals and packing and moving and the wedding…”
Keith’s heart sank, knowing he was the cause of a good portion of her stress. “Tell you what. When you get here, you can take a mini-vacation. No finals, no stress.”
“It sounds wonderful.”
“It will be.”
Sunday morning it was all Keith could do to keep himself from running up the front steps. He hadn’t seen Maggie in what felt like forever, and as crazy as it was, the thought of being with her even for a few short hours was all that was keeping him going. He opened the front door and slipped inside. His heart was pounding so loudly, he was sure it was audible in the quiet of the house. He turned toward the kitchen where he found Inez washing breakfast dishes.
“Morning,” he said.
“Oh, good morning. Ms. Montgomery said she’d be down shortly. She’s getting the children ready.”
“Dad and Vivian?”
“They had a luncheon in Galveston this morning. They’ll be back later.”
He nodded just as Maggie and the kids appeared at the bottom of the stairs. He had never seen a more breathtaking sight. “Morning,” he said softly.
“Hi. Sorry we’re late.”
“No problem. You ready?”
“Guess so.”
Keith couldn’t get his mind to forget that this was probably their last Sunday together. Next week he would be in Vermont, and the week after that Dallas would be here with him permanently. The thought threatened to overload his brain circuits, so rather than fry anything, he simply shut them off. He wouldn’t think about Dallas or anything else in his other life today. For these few hours he was Keith Ayer, the real Keith Ayer, and for the time he had left, he was determined to soak in as much life as possible because on the other side of this hour lay the death of him.
He stood next to her in the pew, wishing this was real, wishing it never had to end, wishing it could be a future with her he was looking into.
“Welcome, everyone to our service this May 7th…”
The rest of the greeting subsided into a swirl of confusion. The 7th? May 7th? Keith’s mind wound through and around that date. It had been 17 years. Seventeen years today that his mother had died. How could he have forgotten? His heart slid through the thought. He hadn’t even thought about it until now. Somehow that hurt as much as the date did.
The service started, but he didn’t really hear it. It was as if in one breath, he was back with her, a young boy enthralled with the world. Her soft voice flowed through him like it hadn’t in so many, many years. He closed his eyes and soaked in the feeling of her. He was a man now, but when he thought about her, he was once again 12 and 10 and 5, asking her questions, begging for her knowledge of the world and her understanding of his place in it.
She had always been able to make things right—with a kiss, a hug, a word of encouragement spoken at just the right moment. Peace, calm, joy. Those were the things he remembered about her. And now she was gone. Yes, she had been gone for many years, but in truth he had never let himself feel her absence until this very moment. Softly he let his heart whisper, “I miss you, Mom. I miss you so much. It’s been so long.”
Suddenly at his side, Peter reached up and slid his little hand into Keith’s big one, and Keith opened his eyes and smiled down at the child. Love, so strong it ached, flowed through Keith. Yes, his mom had left, but if she hadn’t, he wouldn’t have Peter nor Isabella. He looked over to Maggie, holding his little sister, and the picture they made seared through him. If his mother had never left, he wouldn’t have either of them. It wasn’t that he would’ve chosen one over the other. It was more that only now could he see that even in the pain, there were some blessings.
“Mom, I never wanted you to leave. I’ve missed you so much, but these blessings. I was missing the blessings that are here that I wouldn’t have had if the accident hadn’t happened.” He let his eyes fall closed. “God, I’m so lost here. I feel like I know what I want, and yet it’s like I can never have that. Please help me to let them go, to let Maggie go. I made a commitment to Dallas, and I’ve got to keep it. Please help me.”
In what seemed only moments, the service ended. He hadn’t heard a word anyone had said. He followed Maggie out and to the pickup. However, when they were all strapped in, he glanced over at her. “Would you mind if we make a little stop?”
She shrugged. “No, that’s fine.”
He nodded. The last time he had been to the graveyard was when his grandmother had died five years before, but he’d never had the courage to visit his mother’s grave. Never. It had always seemed so final. But today he would face it. Today he would face the tragedy that had defined his youth so he could move onto the tragedy that would define his future.
What Maggie had expected, she didn’t know, but the graveyard was not it. “What’s going on?” she asked in barely disguised panic as he turned into the parking lot gate.
“I just want to make a little visit while we’re here.”
Now? she wanted to scream. Today of all days? It was like fate was playing some kind of cruel trick. Gathering herself so that she wouldn’t completely lose it in front of him and the kids, she got out of the pickup and unstrapped Isabella. However, it took everything she had to get her feet moving toward the walkway when Isabella was in her arms.
“What is this?” Peter asked, and Keith gave him some answer she didn’t hear.
Walk. Keep walking. Don’t think. Fighting not to let the memories overwhelm her, Maggie walked with him through the small wrought iron archway and past five rows of headstones. There Keith turned to the left, and Maggie followed, pleading with God to not drag this out any longer than it had to be. It brought back too many memories of another graveyard, half a state away.
Halfway to the far fence, Keith stopped, and even in her anguish, Maggie saw his. He seemed not able to face what lay in front of him as his head was back, and his eyes were closed. “I miss her so much.”
Maggie stepped over to him and put her hand on his upper arm. “I know. Believe me, I know.” At that moment she glanced down at the headstone, and reality scattered. “Oh, my…”
That brought Keith’s senses back to him with a snap. He looked over at her, concern and grief whiplashing their way through him. “What, Maggie? What is it?”
She stood, staring at the headstone, her hand over her mouth. It was as if she had frozen in place right there.
Fear drove into him. “Maggie, what’s wrong?”
“She… They…” Maggie was shaking her head as horrible thoughts went across her face. Then she looked at him in blank disbelief. “They died the same day.”
He wasn’t following. “What…? Who…?”
It was all she could do to get the words out. “My parents and your mom. They died the same day.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
The trip home was spent in stunned silence. Neither of them knew what to say to the other, and so no one said anything. At the mansion Keith let Maggie out and made some lame excuse about needing to check on things at the stables. She, too, had things to do, and so they went their separate ways. The rest of the week was pretty much living that one hour over and over again. There was the shock of it, followed by the numbness.
Maggie did her best to be normal around the kids, but it wasn’t easy. She wondered how he was doing, and she even thought about calling to check. But she always talked herself out of it. If he was doing half as bad as she was, talking to her would just confirm that it had actually happened. And somehow making believe it hadn’t seemed easier.
“For someone leaving for a four-day party, you look like death warmed over,” Ike said on Thursday evening
. “You okay?”
Okay? It was such a strange word. How could you ever tell you were okay? Maybe others could, but your real thoughts and feelings were so unreliable, how could you ever be sure? Keith’s thoughts swept him away from the conversation so fast, he didn’t realize he hadn’t answered.
With a concerned look, Ike swung onto the chair. “Is everything all right?”
Keith looked at him as the emotions threatened to break through the numbness. Vehemently he pushed them back. “What do you remember about the accident?”
“Accident?” Ike looked like he’d driven around a blind corner. “What accident?”
“Mom’s. When she was killed. What do you know about it?”
The horrified look on Ike’s face barely registered in Keith’s fuzzy brain. “Why?”
“Because I want to know. That’s why. I’ve never really known. One day she was here, and then she wasn’t. Nobody ever told me what really happened.”
Ike got up and went to the filing cabinet. “Well, it was a long time ago. I don’t really remember all the details.”
“Then give me the rough outline, Ike. Come on. I’m 29. I’m not a child anymore.”
“I don’t know that anyone really knows what happened. It was kind of… Well, it wasn’t real clear. There was a crash, and she went through the windshield. That’s all we were ever really told.”
Keith’s grief gripped him. “Yeah, but what did she hit—a tree, a sign, another car?”
“I don’t think she hit anything. I think it just happened.”
This was a one-way trip down a blind alley.
Ike came back to the desk. “Listen, Keith. It was a long time ago, and stuff like that is better just put to rest and left alone. There’s nothing you can do about it now except accept it and move on.”
Keith wanted to lash out, to take his anger and grief out on Ike, but that wasn’t fair. Ike had pulled him through like no one else had. And there was no reason for Ike to lie. If he didn’t know, he didn’t know. Keith wrenched himself out of the chair and stalked to the office door. “I’m going to make rounds, and then I’m going to pack for Vermont. I’ll be back Tuesday.”
“Have a safe trip.”
Greg called again on Friday, and again Maggie told him no. She knew Keith was already gone. The whole house was buzzing with the anticipation of Dallas’s graduation and their imminent arrival on Monday. Monday. It seemed to occupy a space in a parallel universe—one in which he was again attached to Dallas’s side, and Maggie was left to occupy the little, infinitesimal space she called life. “Dear God, please get me through Monday, and the Tuesday after that, and the Wednesday after that…”
“Dallas Celeste Henderson,” the speaker at the podium read, and with that Keith watched her stride across the stage and accept first her diploma and then the hood of her new, vaunted position in life. He clapped politely, just like her parents did beside him.
They had all apparently decided to leave the unpleasantries until after Dallas’s victorious walk. Tomorrow they would argue. Today they would celebrate.
“This is Keith Ayer, my fiancé,” Dallas purred as they made their way around the well-appointed restaurant. “He’s Conrad Ayer’s son.”
“Oh,” several of their prey said. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Mr. Ayer.”
Keith smiled, hoping he looked happy about the connection Dallas was so fond of making. They got to the refreshment table after a walk that would’ve left a camel dehydrated, and Dallas took a flute of champagne and handed him one. However, Keith held up his hand.
“No thanks.”
“No thanks?” Dallas laughed. “What does that mean?”
“It means I don’t really want to drink right now.”
“Yeah, right.” She pressed the glass into his hand. “For later.”
He’d watered three flowering plants and two green ones, hoping it wouldn’t kill them. If Dallas kept this up, he’d have the whole place watered by the time they left. They’d been at this party for three hours, and it was getting boring making small talk with people who cared nothing for him except because of his family’s money. Nonetheless, he followed her around like a good little puppy dog until his feet ached from the monkey shoes he’d had to wear.
“You know, I’m really beat,” he said as the clock slid toward eleven. “What do you say we go back to the hotel?”
“Ooo.” Dallas slipped her arms around his neck. “Now there’s an idea.”
Being with Dallas was like taking a turn on a stuck CD. She had two modes sex and money. And then every so often he got really lucky, and she turned on the power mode. How she couldn’t wait to be at Hayden & Elliott, how she planned to make junior partner before 28, how with his money and her family’s connections, she was destined for full partnership before 32, it was only a question of if she would stay that long.
By the time they landed in Houston, Keith had never been so happy to get off a plane in his life. Although he had brought his pickup, Dallas insisted on the mansion sending the limo to get them. So Jeffrey had come for the pickup, and they rode in the limo. The rest of her stuff was being shipped to a storage building until they found a place of their own, which considering that house hunting started tomorrow, was only a matter of time.
“I’m so happy to be home.” Dallas lifted Keith’s hand which was intertwined with hers and arched it over her shoulder. “This is too good to be true.”
“Yeah,” he said, trying to be enthusiastic but not even getting close.
When they drove into the gates of the estate, Dallas just about squirmed out of her skin with excitement. However, the second the driver slid past the main circle, the squirming stopped. She sat up incredulously. “Why aren’t we stopping? Where is he going?”
“To the guesthouse, Dallas. Where you’re staying. Remember?”
“Well, yeah… but I thought we’d stop at the mansion first, to… you know. Say hello.”
Keith laughed softly. “No one’s home.” His thoughts went to one who probably was, but he yanked that thought back.
“No one? Not even the staff?”
He lifted his eyebrows. “You want to say hello to the staff?”
She caught herself then and leaned back petulantly. “Fine. We’ll go to the guesthouse.”
“The square footage is 2,750,” the agent said as she led them through the third house on Tuesday afternoon. They were all pretentious, all way over what they needed, and all meant only to impress anyone who happened to be impressible.
“That’s a little small,” Dallas said, folding her arms unconvinced.
“Yes, but it does have a pool and a library.”
“Well…” Dallas said as Keith followed her around the vaulted entryway with the crystal chandelier hanging high above.
“It’s okay, Ms. Henderson. I have lots more properties to see.”
“Then let’s keep looking.”
If there was a house they missed, Keith’s feet wouldn’t have believed it. The next morning as he stuck them in his cowboy boots, they groaned. However, he had chores to do, work. Good, honest work, and he wasn’t going to let some little triviality like his feet feeling like they were about to fall off keep him from it.
“Are you leaving already?” Dallas asked, coming from the hallway. Her silk robe tied just so around her body.
“Gotta get cracking.” He stood and put on his hat over his bandana.
She wrapped her arms over themselves like an angry teacher. “Ugh. Do you have to wear that ugly thing? It’s disgusting.”
“I’m working in the stables. The horses wouldn’t be impressed with a coat and tie anyway.”
With a shake of her head, her scowl deepened. “We’ve got to find you something else. If I have to look at that thing every day of my life, just shoot me now.”
It was a thought; however, he shoved that thought down. “I’ll be back for dinner. We’ve got to get Dragnet ready to go for tomorrow.”
“Dinner?”
Dallas sat down at the table petulantly. “But I thought we were going to take a mini-vacation.”
“No. I said you are going to take a mini-vacation. You’ve got all day to yourself.” He kissed her on the forehead. “Help yourself to anything you need. I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah, later.” And there wasn’t an ounce of happiness anywhere in the words.
“I don’t know,” Ike said, striding into the office. “Paul’s got Drag on the track, and he’s about as jumpy as a June bug. I don’t know how he’ll fly at the race Saturday.”
“Pulling him’s not an option?” Tanner asked with concern.
Ike looked at Keith who sat at the desk, trying not to listen. “I talked to Mr. Ayer last week, and he’s adamant that we’re racing him.” Ike put up his hands. “I’ve done all I can do.”
Like clockwork, Greg called on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Maggie hadn’t seen Keith in so long it was almost possible to make herself believe he really was just a nice dream. However, the pit of this-isn’t-what-I-want stayed with her each time she talked to Greg.
“Friday night,” Greg said. “Come on, Maggie. Why don’t you just ask off? It can’t be that hard.”
She put her head in her hand and dragged her fingers through her hair. “Greg, we’ve been over this. They haven’t hired anyone new, and I can’t just leave.”
“Even for one night?”
“Even for one minute.”
Dallas was out shopping. Again. Keith wondered how there could be that many things to buy in all of Houston. She’d already bought new sheets for his bed, which she didn’t even plan to take with them, new kitchen towels, new bathroom towels, and two new pillows that were on the couch but not to be touched nor sat on. He’d found that out the hard way.
Grateful for a small reprieve from her omnipresence, Keith turned on the satellite radio in the living room Saturday afternoon and sat down in the recliner. With the remote control he flipped through the channels until the race came in so clear it was like he was at the track.
Coming Home: (Contemporary Christian Romance Boxed Set): Three Stories of Love, Faith, Struggle & Hope Page 49