The Girl He Needs

by Kristi Rose

  “I’m not playing with a clock,” I shout at his back but he just keeps right on walking. I swipe up the ivory pieces and start placing them on the board. I’ll let Will be ebony. The color suits his dark, competitive chess-playing soul.

  Chapter 28

  “I’ll wait here,” I tell Jayne when she pulls into the parking lot of the Fox and Hound. We’ve spent half of the day and most of the evening out looking for Brinn and the failure has left me feeling light years past dejected. After my heart to heart with Will, I returned to Jayne’s with a plan in mind. I wasn’t going to walk away from Brinn without a good fight. I can’t take the chance of running into him around town and always thinking what if. This way, if he rejects me again and I run into him in town, my what if will be more about him being a stupid, bull-headed moron who doesn’t deserve me.

  “Let’s eat inside. You need to see something other than my place.” She turns off the car and unfastens my seat belt.

  “We’ve just seen most of Daytona, Flagler Beach, and Port Orange.” I pull the belt back and click it in place. “I’d rather go home.”

  “Come on, mum makes a bread pudding that helps ease heartache,” she says and unfastens my seat belt again.

  “Just get it to go,” I plead. Yeah, I’m having a suck attack but this broken heart shit hurts and I’m not handling it the best. I’m moody and not fun to be around so there isn’t any purpose to going inside. Why Jayne continues to invest time in me is beyond my understanding. But I love her for it. I owe her more every day.

  Jayne levels a glare at me and presses her lips together making them a thin line. She won’t let go of my seatbelt.

  “Fine, but I’m not up for an all-nighter.” She won’t shut up about it so I might as well just give in now.

  I pull my hoodie around me, though the breeze is slight, the chill in the air goes right to my bones as if I have no protective layer whatsoever. I’m exposed. Jayne’s layered two T-shirts and is wearing skinny jeans, and she looks as if she’s warm to my freezing.

  I shuffle in behind her and automatically go to the bar, taking a seat on a corner stool. Jayne sits next to me and catches the eye of the bartender, Jake. A true asshat who has played around with the waitresses. He thinks man was created in his image.

  “Hey, Jake, we’re going to order food,” Jayne says.

  I stare ahead. I’m in a space that waffles between angry and sad and if someone looks at me wrong, like Jake might, I may just go on a good rage.

  “Sure,” he says and pulls out two menus. “Hey, Josie.” He gives me a nod and his gaze lingers. My palm itches to slap him upside the head, but instead I look away because it’s not him but my urge to strike out at someone. I’m eager to see Brinn and say what needs to be heard. So much is unfinished and I’ll be restless until that moment happens. I crave this like an addict craves their next fix.

  Truth is, Brinn is my fix, and none of these emotions likely have anything to do with closure or saying my mind. So there’s that.

  “Relax,” Jayne says.

  Forcing my shoulders back, I roll them to release the tension. Doing so makes me think of Pippa and her yoga, and I hope she’s living it up in India. I smile. “You were right,” I tell her. “Getting out was a good idea.”

  “You have very intelligent friends,” she says.

  “Maybe I’ll have a drink. Jake, can I get a whiskey sour?”

  “Same for me,” Jayne says and signals for Jake to take our orders. She looks over my shoulder and her eyes go wide and instantly I know.

  I jump off the stool and spin to face the booths, finding the back of Brinn’s head in one. It’s bent over and I realize he’s on the phone. I’m halfway across the room when Vann sees me, nudges his brother, and indicates in my direction.

  I’m at the table before he hangs up the phone.

  “Never mind, I found her, Erik. I’ll call you back,” he says and disconnects without looking at the phone, his eyes laser focused on mine, a broad smile across his face.

  “Josie.” He says my name in a deep, rough voice, and I swear that if these were different circumstances I might think he sounds happy to see me.

  “Shut up,” I say and push him back into the booth when he tries to stand, blocking him with my body. I lean forward, my face close to his. “Now it’s your turn to listen to me, Brinn McRae. You said some shitty things to me and I never deserved that. You said I would run; yet here I am. You said I was chaos, destruction, yet you never accepted any responsibility for your own actions. I’m solely to blame. Yes, I have a past. I’m embracing spontaneity and willing to try new things, but that’s because I was where you are and I wanted more for my life. I dared to dream and hope and live—”

  “I—”

  “Stop.” I put my fingers to his mouth, pinching his lips together. “Listen to me. I believe you can do anything. That you’ve lost nothing but you’re dangerously close to losing me and I have to know—are you OK with that?” I search his face, looking for something, anything to jump-start my heart as it’s stopped, waiting for a sign.

  He places his hand over my wrist and removes my fingers from his lips.

  “You need to understand something.” His hand curls around my wrist and holds tight.

  “I already know—”

  “I can’t change directions as quickly as you can. I’ve worked so hard to get control of my life.” His eyes flick toward Vann. “Our life. I forgot to enjoy the moments. Guys get scared too, you know.” He lets go of my wrist and places his hands on my hips; pushing me back, he stands and leans toward me.

  “I look at you and I’m afraid to want you. Because then I’ll need you and what if you don’t feel the same way?”

  “But I do, and I’m scared, too. I don’t know how to do this.” I step into him, our bodies slowly pressing against each other. “I left my family and life as I knew it to find something more and ended up falling in love with a guy who’s like my father. How’s that for irony?” I slide my hands up his chest, slowly. Hesitantly.

  “You love me?” He cups my face between his hands.

  “Well, either it’s you or this city. There’s something here I love. Could go either way.” There’s a crinkling of tape and what feels like a bandage under his shirt. “Are you hurt?” I pull up his T-shirt and see the taped gauze over his left breast. “Oh my God, what happened?” I step back and try to push his shirt up further, not caring that we’re in a public place.

  “It’s nothing,” Brinn says and reaches for me. “About this love thing.”

  “It’s a tattoo. He just got it today,” Vann says.

  Over Brinn’s shoulder, Vann tips his beer to me before he takes a pull.

  I look back a Brinn, “A tattoo? Are you serious?” I peel away the ouch-less tape and pull the gauze back.

  I burst into tears when I see the design. It’s born for henna and looks like something I’d paint on my body.

  “Don’t cry, baby.” He wraps me in his arms, crushing me to him. He kisses me with all the longing I feel and the salt from my tears makes it all that much sweeter.

  “Do you mean it?” I whisper after we pull apart, my fingers tracing the tattoo.

  “Babe.” He cups my face.

  “Are these flower buds?”

  “Yes, it means new growth, new life.”

  “I know. I also know that the sun, moon, and stars woven among the vines and leaves signify a deep and lasting love.”

  “It’s how I feel about you. It’s just as much a declaration of love as it’s a touchstone. You know how people get symbols for peace or harmony?”

  I nod.

  “This henna design is my reminder of how tenuous each day is. How valuable the simple things are. How much I can achieve, and about the girl who showed me how much I needed these reminders. How much I want and need her.”

  “I’m scared.” I confess.

  “I know. Me too. But we’ll do this together. I’
m right here with you.” He dries my tears with the pad of his thumb.

  “I’m not ready to be married and have kids.” I kiss his palm.

  “I can wait. Besides, it might be a good idea to not rush things considering I don’t have a job and am selling the place where I live. Right now I’m not looking like a good prospect.” He kisses the tip of my nose.

  “Hmm, well. When you put it like that.” I grimace, which results in both of us laughing. I reach up and he bends to meet me half way. Our lips touch and all will be right with the world once again.

  Epilogue

  I smile at the lady sitting across from me. Though, lady might not be the right word as she’s likely the same age as me. She uses the tissue I gave her to swipe at her red-rimmed eyes.

  I reach out and squeeze her hand. “Take your time. It’s going to be OK.”

  “I know,” she says and sucks in a ragged breath. “I think that’s why I’m crying, because I’m relieved.”

  She breaks down again and I hand her the box of tissues.

  “I’m sorry. What was the question again?” she asks.

  “I asked if you wanted to take your maiden name back. We can petition the court while we finalize the divorce. If you do it all at once, you won’t have to pay for the name change.”

  She’s a pretty thing with curly red hair, the kind of red that’s more orange-red than brownish red. Her freckles make her look too young to be married, and I flip through the intake sheet until I find her birthday. I’m only three months older.

  She nods. “Yes, I want my maiden name back. I want nothing from that jackass. Especially not his name.”

  “That’s the spirit,” I say. “Good for you. But you do want some things. Like your half of the house. Do you want alimony?”

  She shakes her head.

  “Here’s a list of common assets. Do you mind reading through this and circling any of these that you all had?” Turning the paper to her, I hand her my pencil.

  The door to the office buzzes the arrival of someone and a second later Brinn peeks in the door of the conference room. Instantly my heart leaps. He’s been out of town the last four days and I’ve missed him desperately. I can’t wait to get him home and get my hands on him; though it’s not likely we’ll make it past the truck.

  “Ten minutes,” I mouth over the client’s head.

  He gives me a sad shrug as if asking him to wait ten minutes is a lifetime then taps his watch before setting the stopwatch.

  I roll my eyes and focus on the girl before me. We could be friends, she and I. We’re the same age and as she sits here trying to rebuild a new life, she’s not feeling sorry for herself at her circumstances, but more that she waited so long to get here.

  “OK,” she says. “This is everything.” And hands the paper to me. “I just want him out of my life. I want a fresh start and to be left alone.”

  “We’ll help you get that. You’ve come to the right place. Samantha is amazing and we know this isn’t an easy experience, but we’re here to try to make it as painless as possible. You worry about the healing and we’ll take care of the dealing.”

  She laughs. “Please tell me that’s not on the business card.”

  “It’s not. I just made it up. Don’t hold it against me.”

  “Thanks,” she said. “I needed that laugh.”

  “Anytime. Hey, you should come down to the Fox and Hound sometime. My friend Jayne and I hang out there. We’re always good company for a little man bashing.” Though I don’t tell her it’s usually Jayne doing the bashing because I’m so blissfully in love with the best man in the entire universe.

  “I might just do that. Thanks. My friends Kenley, Heather, and I meet on Wednesday’s at the Ale House. You should pop over there sometime.”

  “Oh, I will, and then you’ll be sorry you ever said anything.” I scan the paper, making sure it’s complete.

  “Ha, I doubt that. I’ve learned that in the wake of this, there’s very little I regret in comparison.”

  “We’re done here, unless you have any other questions?” I say as she gathers up her purse.

  She shakes her head.

  “Oh, wait. Your maiden name. I forgot to fill that in. If we’re going to petition the court for it, maybe we should know what it is.”

  “McAllister. My maiden name is McAllister.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Paisley McAllister,” I say and offer her my hand.

  She shakes my hand and laughs. “I like the sound of that. I’m looking forward to being Paisley McAllister again.”

  I hold the door open for her then quickly make a date reminder in my phone to pop in on her at the Ale House. Brinn watches her leave before he slips behind the door, turns the lock, and pulls the blind downward. We’ve come a long way since the hurricane. First living in his place until it was sold and then renting a small apartment until the construction was complete at Mrs. Cramer’s place. She rebuilt the apartment and I love it just as much if not more. Sharing the place with Brinn makes it even more perfect.

  I stand in the doorway of the conference room and take in the sight of him. This start-up he’s got going with Erik and Erik’s math genius and former college roommate, Stacy, really eats into our time. I get that it requires hard work and dedication and Brinn is nothing if not those, but between studying for the bar, working as a paralegal for Samantha, and helping him with the business as much as I can, we’re spread thin. Yet, it’s a wonderful place to be because we’re making our happiness and dreams happen. It’s thrilling and exhausting.

  Brinn moves toward me, and I step back into the conference room and wait.

  “Hello, my love,” he says. “I missed you.” His eyes turn a darker shade of green and his pupils dilate. Thank God I’m alone in the office because it was wishful thinking we’d make it to the truck.

  “Not nearly as much as I missed you.” I dim the lights.

  It’s insane how being apart from him for even the shortest period feels as if an eternity has passed. As if I fear I’ve forgotten how he feels. I want to press him to me, feel his body against mine, leaving an imprint on me like a tattoo.

  He opens his arms and I leap into them.

  In case you missed it, keep reading for an excerpt from the first book in the No Strings Attached series:

  THE GIRL HE KNOWS

  She wants one night, he wants forever.

  Waking up naked next to a good-looking man is not a bad way to start the day. Especially since Paisley missed all those opportunities in college, when she was too busy supporting her no good ex-husband. The problem? This hottie is Hank, her best friend’s older brother, a guy she’s known her entire life.

  Stopping after one night is the right thing to do. Being with him clearly breaks the best friend code, and from his career as a Naval officer to his Boy Scout reputation, everything about him screams monogamy and commitment. Two things Paisley has had enough of.

  When Hank presents a “no strings attached” offer, it’s too good to be true. She can enjoy him while still embracing being single. But, poor choices force her to confront old fears of love and loss, and Paisley has to decide if Hank is worth the risk. The alternative is never experiencing the real deal. Or far worse, settling for less.

  A Lyrical e-book available now.

  Learn more about Kristi at http://www.kensingtonbooks.com/author.aspx/30582

  Chapter 1

  “Hank, honey. Time to get up.” Hank’s mom, calling through the door, wakes me from my sleep.

  Disorientated, I sit up with a jerk. The blanket falls, exposing my bare breasts. Gasping, I pull the sheet up to my chin, squint, and do a long blink. My contacts are dry, which makes them feel stiff and scratchy and my vision blurry. Each blink offers a short snapshot of my surroundings.

  I know where I am. Mortified, I drop my head and cover my eyes with the sheet. Why had I agreed to come here? What would make me throw caution to the wind and ris
k ruining a friendship?

  Lust. That’s what.

  “Hank, Dad says you have a tee time in one hour. Time to get up, sleepyhead,” his mom calls.

  “Sweet Jesus,” I whisper. Panic seizes me as I glance to my left. Lying next to me is my best friend’s older brother, Hank. I’ve known Gigi and Hank my entire life. This is her childhood bedroom, now a converted guest room, and the voice on the other side of the thin door is their mother, Ms. Becky. I’d rather face all of hell’s demons than have her find me here, in her guest bed, naked, with Hank.

  “Hmmphh? To slee....” Hank mumbles and his warm body rolls away, exposing his firm, well-defined backside. I close my eyes and count to ten. Now is not the time to get distracted by his assets or lost in the memory of how wonderful last night was. Now is the time to get the hell out of Dodge. I clutch the sheet to me as I shake his shoulder.

  “Wake up,” I whisper. When he doesn’t move, I lean close to his ear. “Wake. Up. Your mom is at the door.”

  He opens his eyes, or at least the one eye I see as he’s lying on his stomach.

  The doorknob rattles, and I fling myself back, pull the covers up over my head, and try to burrow underneath him.

  “I’m up, Mom,” Hank says, not even moving an inch.

  “Well hurry. Dad’s anxious to get to the course.” Her voice fades, indicating she’s moving down the hallway.

  “You can come out of hiding,” he says.

  I flip the covers off my face, then clench them to my chest, “Hush. I don’t want them to know I’m here.”

  “I figured. I don’t think they’ll care if they find you here.” His voice is a low baritone and I worry it will carry.

  “Whisper,” I say. “I don’t care what you think. I don’t want them to know. I don’t want Gigi to know. I don’t want anyone to know.” Just saying it makes my stomach clench with apprehension.