by E. M. Leya
"Why don't you go try and get some sleep. Ax and I are here and I'll wake you if anything happens. You've got to be drained after chemo today."
His dad nodded. "I am."
"Then go rest a bit."
His dad braced a hand on Les's shoulder and pushed up off the couch. "I will. Thank you for being here." He glanced at Ax. "Thank you as well for helping."
"It's my pleasure." Ax smiled.
At the sound of his deep voice, his dad's eyes widened. He shook his head. "I'm too tired to get into this tonight." He glanced at Les. "Wake me at six. I want to be up before Tim and the others get here." He turned and walked down the hall to the bedroom.
Les blew out a long breath.
"It's going to be okay." Ax took his hand and pulled him down on the couch.
"I know, but I can't help feeling like, what next? Even if she walked in the door right now, I still have to figure out what to do so this doesn't happen again." He leaned into Ax's embrace. "It's times like this, I wish I had brothers and sisters."
"I know, but you're not alone. I'm here to help you carry the burden. I won't leave you." Ax kissed his forehead. "I know it's not the same, but it's the best I can do."
Les smiled. "It's more than enough."
"Your dad's going to ask about me tomorrow."
"And I'll tell him the truth." Les closed his eyes. "It will be up to him if it's going to be an issue or not. He can't tell me how to lead my life or who to date and fall in love with."
Ax caressed his fingers down Les's arm. "You amaze me. When we met, I wasn't sure what to think, but you've proven to be stronger than I ever could imagine. First, you stand by my side after the attack, now you're standing with your parents. You just keep fighting, no matter what they throw at you."
"I don't feel so strong right now." Les sighed. "There is a part of me that wishes we could go back to dinner and I never answer my phone. We could be home together, doing so many other things."
"We'll have a million nights to do those things. This is where you need to be right now. I know it sucks. Just stay strong and sooner or later this will all blow over and maybe the stars will align and nothing will get in our way."
"You're too good to me."
"Only because you're good for me."
Les held Ax a little tighter. "I'm sorry I ruined our date night."
"You didn't ruin it. We've spent it together. Maybe not doing what we planned, but we're still together."
Les smiled against his chest. "I guess we should try and sleep. I've got some sweats and old shirts in my room if you want to change."
Ax stiffened. "How will your dad react if I'm in those in the morning?"
"I don't know and I don't care. His focus should be on my mom right now, not on us. It's up to you. You can do your hair and put on make-up while in those for all I care. I just know you can't be comfortable sleeping in a dress."
"True," Ax said. "I'll take the sweats, but I think I'll run home in the morning and get us both some clean clothes if your mom hasn't been found by then. You'll need more than sweats too."
Les nodded, amazed at how supportive Ax was. He'd been on his own for so long that he wasn't used to having anyone there to support him. It was a nice change. He just hoped that after it was all over, his dad didn't lose his mind when they finally sat down and talked about how important Ax was in his life. If push came to shove, and being with Ax was an issue for his dad, Les wouldn't stick around. If he was forced to choose, he'd choose Ax over his father's hate any day.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Ax watched as Les talked to one of the police officers. It had been almost twenty-four hours since his mom had gone missing, and there was still no word of where she could be. He worried about Les. The more hours that passed, he saw the stress starting to get to him. He didn't blame him a bit for worrying, but Ax wanted to find a way to ease his worries. Problem was, there wasn't one. He'd be freaking out the same way if it were his mother.
Les's dad spent the day sitting with friends. He was so frail and weak from the chemo, Ax worried that Les was right and this could make things worse. They'd finally talked him into going and taking a nap. There wasn't anything anyone could really do other than drive and walk around. Thankfully, the news had put out an alert, so that meant more people would be looking for her.
Ax focused on finishing the dinner he was warming up. Some of the neighbors had brought over some dishes for them, and Ax made it his job to make sure that Les and his father continued to eat and keep up their strength. There wasn't much else he could do other than offer support.
They'd driven around for hours earlier, and even now, there were neighbors and friends out looking, but everyone was coming back with no news. It was hard not to worry and start to feel as if things might not turn out well. The longer she was gone, the more danger she was in.
"Smells good." Les came up behind Ax and wrapped his arms around his waist from behind.
Ax smiled, leaning into Les's embrace. "I hope it is. It's just some of the stuff the neighbors brought over."
"Thank you for doing all this. You're keeping things normal. It helps." Les kissed Ax's shoulder.
Ax turned, cupping Les's face in his hands to give him a soft kiss. "I wish there was more I could do."
"Being here is enough." Les rested his head against Ax's chest.
"Even if your father looks like he wants to kill me?" Ax hadn't missed the hateful glares he got when he'd shown back up after going home to get them clean clothes. He'd changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, pulling his long hair back in a ponytail. He could have put on make-up and still passed for a woman, but with everything going on, it was just easier to do what was quick and get back to Les. They'd been careful not to show too much affection when his dad was around, but Ax was sure he knew that something was going on between them. Only his stress over his wife kept him from making it an issue yet. Ax was sure that time would come.
"I don't care what he thinks. If the looks bother you, we can leave. I don't want you uncomfortable."
"I'm fine. You need to be here, and his glares are nothing I don't get from my own parents. I just don't want to make things harder for you."
"I'm fine. I'm sure he'll say something eventually, but until then, he's getting a chance to know you. Maybe once he does, he'll be more willing to accept our relationship."
Ax smiled. He didn't have any hope that Les's dad would accept them dating, but as with his own parents, he wasn't going to let that stop him from living the life he wanted or being with the person he wanted to be with.
"Out of all the ways I could have told him I'm gay, this was actually probably the easiest. All things considered, I would have rather had the chance to sit down with my mom and dad and tell them. It would have been worth the fight if it meant Mom was home."
"I agree." Ax kissed Les's cheek. "Don't give up hope. That conversation could still happen once we get her home."
"Is it horrible I'm looking forward to that argument just so I know she's safe?"
"Not at all." Ax understood completely. "Do you want to wake your dad to eat?"
Les shook his head. "I'd rather him sleep while he can."
"Then go sit and I'll bring the food over to you. You look exhausted too. If you don't sleep tonight, I'm going to have to start worrying about you too."
"I'll try. I just keep thinking there should be something more I can do. One more place I can look."
Ax scooped a large portion of food onto a plate for Les, determined to see him eat well. "Tomorrow is Sunday. Maybe we'll get lucky and she'll have a moment of clarity and show up at the church."
"I hope so. I don't know what I'm going to do if we don't find her. I can't afford to miss a lot more work, but how am I supposed to work knowing she's out there somewhere?"
Ax didn't have answers. He set two plates on the table before turning and grabbing two sodas from the fridge. He sat down beside Les, meeting his troubled stare. "You do what you have
to do. I know this is hard, but life doesn't stop. You have to work. Your dad has to keep up with his chemo. We continue to search when we can."
"I don't know how I would get through this without you." Les sighed.
"You would find a way, but I'm glad I can be here for you." Ax leaned over and kissed him.
Ax jumped back at the sound of Les's father clearing his throat in the doorway to the kitchen.
"I've bit my tongue because there have been others around, but we're alone now. I think it's time we talk." His father came to the table and sat down.
Ax swallowed, watching a look of fear cross Les's face. "Let me get you something to eat first." Ax stood, going over to the stove and grabbing him a plate.
"Dad, I was planning on telling you, but this happened before I could." Les took a deep breath. "I know how you feel about these things, but I love Ax. Please just accept that."
"You know how I feel…." His father ran his hand over his bald head.
"I do, but I'm not going to let you stop me from living my life or loving who I love. I'm sorry if this is hard for you, but I'm happy. Please just accept that."
Ax set a plate of food down in front of Les's father. "Can I get you something to drink?"
He shook his head. "So, were you lying to me all these years about you and Jeff?"
Les's eyes went wide. "No. There was never anything between us. He was my best friend. A lot has happened. Jeff's moved out. Ax has moved in." Les glanced up at Ax as he sat down and started to eat as if this conversation was about nothing more than the weather. "I have never been attracted to a man before Ax. I was as surprised as anyone."
"You were a female when he first brought you here." His father glared at Ax.
"I was. It's called gender fluid. Some days I feel more feminine than others. It's really not that uncommon, just not talked about openly as it should be." Ax smiled. "I know it's hard to understand. I have a rough relationship with my parents because of it, but it's who I am. Honestly, if it hadn't been an emergency, Les and I wouldn't have sprung this on you this way. He planned on sitting you down and discussing it."
His father stared at Les. "I don't approve."
"I know, Dad. You've made your feelings clear in the past. I'm sorry it has to be that way. I'd really like you to understand, but I know that might not happen." Les swallowed hard as if fighting back emotion.
"The only reason I haven't kicked you both out is because your mother is missing. God help her if she finds out about this."
Ax bit his lip. This conversation wasn't going well. It could have gone worse, but it wasn't going anywhere as well as he wished it would. "I can leave." Ax glanced at Les. "I wanted to be here to support you both, but if my being here is an issue, then maybe I need to go. I can still help search."
"No." Les sat up straight.
"I think that might be best." His father stared down at his plate.
Les shook his head. "If he goes, I go."
"That's your choice." His father raised his gaze to Les. "You know my feelings about this. They aren't going to change. You're welcome here anytime, Les, but I don't want to see what kind of life you've started to live. I don't need it around here or around your mother when she comes home."
"That's fine. We'll leave right away. Will you keep me posted on things with Mom?"
"Of course." His father glanced up. "You're still my son. I love you. I just can't support your choices. I don't need to be witness to them." He glanced at Ax. "I'm sure you're a nice man, but my views on this are firm."
"I understand." Ax hated that this was happening. The last thing he wanted was to be the reason Les decided to go. He needed to be around until his mother was found. "Les, I'll go. You stay here and help with things."
Les stood. "No. If you go, I go. I can still search. I don't need to be here. As long as he calls me if there is any news, there is no point in me staying when I want to be with you." He picked up his plate and scraped the food into the trash before rinsing it and sticking it in the dishwasher. He then reached for Ax's plate and did the same. "I'm sorry to leave you like this, Dad, but Ax is my future. I won't let your hate come between us." He reached for Ax's hand. "We'll grab our stuff and leave."
His father nodded but didn't say anything.
Once in Les's room, Ax pulled him into a tight hug. "You don't need to do this for me. I'm okay going. You should stay."
Les shook his head. "I don't want to be here. I can't look at him after this. It would end up in a huge argument once you were gone, and I'm not in the mood for that, and with his health, he doesn't need it. This is the best way. I'm not going to let anyone treat us as if being together is wrong. Nothing in my life has ever felt so right."
"I'm sorry. I hoped your parents would be different than mine."
Les smiled. "I knew they wouldn't. I just hoped that with Mom missing, Dad would ignore it."
"We'll keep searching. We don't have to be here to do that."
"I know." Les pulled back and reached for the bag Ax had brought clothes over in and started shoving things into it.
Ax sighed, wishing things could be different. He imagined a world where their parents accepted them. At least he had his sister. Les had no one else. That fact made Ax determined to make sure Les knew he wasn't alone. Turning away from your family wasn't easy, but Ax would stand by him, and no matter what happened, he'd show Les that he was loved.
"Will you grab our stuff from the bathroom?" Les asked.
"Sure." Ax quickly made his way out of the room, glad that Les's father was still in the kitchen. He had a few choice words for the man, but with everything going on, it was best he bite his tongue. Now wasn't the time, and honestly, it wasn't his place.
Les had stood by him and decided to leave, and that meant a ton. He hated that their relationship caused issues, but he was touched that he meant enough to Les for him to stand up to his father and leave with him. He would have understood if he hadn't. With his mother missing, it changed things, but Les had shown how great he was by still standing by his side.
"I've got everything." Ax shoved it in the small bag before turning to Les. "Are you sure you want to leave?"
"I can't do anything but wait here. I can do that at home. He'll call if there is news. He might hate our dating, but he doesn't hate me. It could be worse."
"It could, but it still hurts." Ax kissed him.
"It does, but it was expected. I'm okay. I promise." Les grabbed the bag off the bed. "Let's go home."
Ax followed Les out of the room, pausing to wait in the living room as Les went in to speak to his father. He'd give them a few minutes alone to talk. He was glad it hadn't ended in an explosive argument, but as Les walked back over to him and they headed outside to the car, he wished he could protect Les from the hate. Why couldn't people just let them love who they wanted? Life would be so much easier. All they could do was be there for each other, and hope that somehow the feelings they shared would be enough to get them through.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Les stared out the window of his work, wondering where out there his mother could be. It had been a week since she'd gone missing, and there had been no reports. During the first few days, the police had calls that people had seen her, but each lead ended up being nothing. With each passing hour, Les started to face the fact that his mother was probably dead somewhere.
That brought on a completely new group of emotions. He wanted to cry at the loss, but then again, without confirmation, he didn't want to grieve. He had to continue to hope. They'd checked the homeless shelters, the jails, the hospitals, everywhere they could think that she would go. The hardest part was knowing that she wasn't in her right mind, and if someone did find her, she might not even remember her own name.
Ax had been amazing, going out to search with him every night. Every minute they had free, they were focusing on new places to look. Les had put her name on a million internet sites for missing people, and he was sure the detectives in the case
were getting tired of him calling them to see if they had anything new.
He'd gone over to see his father a few times, never staying long. It didn't feel like home anymore, knowing he wasn't welcome to be himself there. There was an underlining tension between his father and him, and he struggled to be around him. It was hard. As the days went on, his father was losing weight and becoming weaker. Les glanced at the clock. His dad was probably just getting home from another round of chemo. It was destroying his body, and the more he saw his father failing, the more he faced the facts that he might lose him soon too. It was a lot to deal with.
Unable to focus, he shut off his computer. He wasn't getting any work done. He was lucky his boss was so understanding. He'd hardly been productive over the last week. He was glad it was Friday and he wouldn't have to be back for a few days. What he wanted to do was curl up on the couch with Ax, but it wouldn't happen. He needed to search for his mother.
Ax had been amazing. He'd been so supportive. It made Les love him even more. With so much going on in his life, he wasn't able to give Ax the attention he wanted to, but not once did Ax complain. He welcomed him into his arms every night, holding him, and even letting him cry when things got to be too much to deal with.
They were headed over to his sister's house for dinner on Saturday night, and while he was excited to see Sarah again, and meet the twins, he worried about meeting Ax's parents. At least they already knew Ax was gay, so it wouldn't be a shock to see them together, but with all the stress they'd already been dealing with, the last thing they needed was an argument with his parents to top everything off.
Les didn't have a lot of respect for Ax's parents. After they refused to come see him in the hospital after the attack, Les decided he didn't like them much. He just couldn't understand not caring that your child was beaten. Even his own parents would have come and seen him if roles had been reversed. Still, he would try to be nice.
As he left work, he debated on running over to his father's, but hopefully he was asleep, and the last thing Les wanted to do was wake him. Chemo days were hard, and his father needed all the rest he could get. At least when he slept, he wasn't thinking about Les's mom being missing or any of the other things causing stress in his life.