by C S Vass
“You’re stretching the boundaries of the improbable. But in any case you’re right about reserving judgement.”
“Of course I am. I’m glad I can be on this journey with you though.” She placed her hand on his own.
He moved. Involuntarily. Almost spastically. It lasted less than half a heartbeat, but Yaura was a Shigata. She saw.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“Yar…”
“It’s okay. There’s only one woman whom you have eyes for. That’s perfectly natural. It still breaks my heart…no not because of that. Because there’s nothing for you down that road but misery. The saddest part is you already know that and you don’t even care.”
He sighed. Through the trees he saw fog moving miles off in the distance. “These things are complicated.”
“They’re not Godwin. You’re just a fool. And for the record, I’m still mad at you for abandoning me in the Jagjaw Mountains.”
“I didn’t—”
“Hush, you’re somehow ruining both a nice moment and my anger with you at the same time. I’ll not have it.”
They sat in silence for a time. He knew he was hurting her. He also knew she wanted to hurt him, but couldn’t. The injustice of it made him mad at himself though he couldn’t have said why.
“Here,” he said. He offered her the remaining contents of the vial he drank from. It wasn’t smart to waste a valuable potion on trivial moments, but this mattered more. “Try this.”
“What godforsaken concoction have you brewed up this time?” she asked.
“An aphrodisiac. Slip it into the wine of Bellweven or Donald…or Frida if that’s your fancy. You can have whoever you want.”
“Ha ha. You’re boring me.”
“It’s extract from the eyes of the helmethead gecko. It’ll make everything you see afterwards bland and boring, but it’s worth it.”
“Side effects?”
“I just told you your vision will never be the same.”
She swigged it down. “Tastes like rat piss.”
“The rat piss was necessary to get the enzymes to break down properly.”
“You’re a real riot. Oh gods, it’s working fast.”
He smiled. There was a real note of excitement in her voice. “Is this how those tiny bastards see the world? To think the gods wasted this on them and gave us the shit we have in our heads.”
“It is incredible; isn’t it?”
“Don’t start stroking yourself. This is what you’re supposed to be good at.”
“I suppose it is.”
They enjoyed their enhanced vision for several minutes of silence.
“Godwin?”
“Hm.”
“I forgive you for Jagjaw.”
“Thank you.”
“But I don’t forgive you for what you’re putting yourself through. When you hurt yourself, you hurt the people who love you. There are people who love you, no matter how much you tell yourself otherwise.”
She placed her head in the nape of his neck. He wanted to tell her to move it, but it was such a small gesture. What did it really matter? Let her have a moment’s happiness.
They sat there together, staring into the forbidden colors of the forest at night that Godwin had found a way to penetrate. For a moment he had thought that Yaura had fallen asleep.
“We should head back,” he whispered.
“I suppose so. You must think me a fool for deciding to join up with them.”
“Not the word I would use.”
“Oh? And what word would you use?”
“Overly trusting.”
“Do you think it’s unsafe to travel with them?”
“Unsafe? No. I don’t think they pose a danger. Not to the two of us. However much Bellweven hates the Shigata. I’m interested in their company. I think there’s more to them than meets the eye.”
“Curiosity is no reason to get ourselves killed,” Yaura said. “But I suppose I can’t blame Bellweven. The rumors that get thrown around about us Shigata are enough to anger anyone.”
“The truths too.” Godwin grinned.
“You’re not funny,” Yaura said.
“Come on. What’s a little gallows humor between two hired killers?”
“So that’s it then. I suppose I’d be blind not to see it. That’s what we are. Mercenaries. Bandits.”
“It’s a hard truth to face,” Godwin admitted. “But the glory days of the Shigata are behind us. There will always be demons, but somehow humans have surpassed them in evil. The time when an entire town would throw a festival for days because a wandering Shigata slayed the local werewolf…that’s all in the past.”
“I hate it.”
She really does, Godwin thought.
“I’ve had nightmares for weeks, you know,” she went on. “Terrible nightmares. Things I don’t even understand.”
“You trying to be some kind of mystic now?” Godwin asked.
“No,” she said. “I’m trying to still have some connection to my soul. Does that bother you, Godwin?”
“Come on now. You’re speaking like you believe in fairy tales.”
“Fairy tales are the children of legends, which in turn are the children of myths,” Yaura said seriously.
“All the more reason to discount them.”
“Until you consider what myths are the children of.”
“What’s that?”
“Gods.”
Chapter Nine
The next day the sun ascended into a grey sky. Fingers of light drifted through the mist and gave the Chillway a somewhat dusty appearance. In the distance, a lone wolf searching for her pack howled.
The tension from the previous night had not entirely disappeared. It was Donald who broke the ice.
“We go the same way regardless,” he said to Godwin and Yaura. “We will be stronger traveling together. You’ve seen that I have value in my magical knowledge, and I assure you Bellweven is also a capable mage. Let us travel at least to Ice Bay.”
Godwin shrugged. “If that’s what you want to do, so be it. But if you have trouble keeping up, that’s your own problem. I also trust you have some of your own supplies. We had food enough to share last night, but not every night until we reach our destination.”
Donald nodded. “We seek mutual aid, not charity,” the mage said.
They set out within ten minutes.
Crossing the throat of the Chillway was far from an inspiring journey. Going up or down its length at least gave one the option to veer off into the woods, smell the salt of the sea, or catch a view of beauty at the edge of a cliff. Their path had none of that. It was cold, flat, and grey. So it would remain for at least a few days.
Their rests were quieter than they had been the night before. They ate simple fare and drank only water. The only noticeable difference in their journey now was that with Donald’s knowledge of runes, their fires burned brighter and took less effort to create since he had a way of getting the water out of the wood they used.
So it went, day and night, without interruption. Godwin’s mind frequently strayed as they walked, and he would find himself lost in memories not visited for some time. On one such day, particularly cold and particularly grey, he found himself thinking of his earlier years. When the sun warriors came. When the Tarsurians started a war.
It was snowy then too. Winter in the wilderness outside of Brentos was never a pleasant time. Godwin was miserable. Life as he knew it was over.
“Straighten your back, Godwin! And don’t face me full on. How big of a target do you want your opponent to have? Are you in such a rush to get yourself killed? Like this. Sword forward. Face me sideways. Better.”
Reinko Assini was a cruel master from the beginning. It seemed to Godwin that the strange hermit was determined to make himself hated. Then again, Godwin would have hated anyone who tried to train him. He hated swords. He hated the way the crash of steel on steel made his teeth chatter and sent a shockwave reverberating througho
ut his bones. He hated the unforgiving blisters and callouses that wouldn’t stop bleeding on his hands.
But most of all he hated his master.
“You look like a kicked dog,” Master Reinko mocked. “Even a kicked dog will bite. Come then, Godwin, show me your teeth. Try to bite me!”
Godwin attacked.
He leapt at his master with pure hatred in his heart. His sword darted forward like a snake. Reinko swept it aside with ease, but Godwin was prepared for that. Aided by the force of Reinko’s blade, Godwin circle-spun and tried to slash his master in the back of the leg. Before his blow could land, the leg he targeted shot forward and Godwin got a boot in the face. Blood filled his eyes, and he felt his nose crunch.
“Get up,” Reinko shouted. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Come here. It’s just a broken nose. I’ll set it, and you’ll feel fine.”
“Why did you do that?” Godwin growled through the tears that involuntarily fell from his eyes.
Reinko approached him and struck him hard in the face. “Why did I do that? Are you a snowflake to be pushed around by every breeze that comes your way? Your mindset is backwards, Godwin, and that’s why your nose is broken. The question is why did you allow that to happen to yourself? Why didn’t you do something about it?”
“You’re too fast! You’re older than me. It’s not my fault!” The injustice of Master Reinko’s accusation brought a quivering lump to Godwin’s throat.
“Then stop groveling and get better. Do you think the sun warriors are going to care whether they’re older or faster than you? They won’t just break your nose, Godwin. They’ll shove pointed steel right through your empty little head.”
“Ahh!”
Godwin was on his feet running. Running away. He didn’t care anymore. He didn’t ask for any of this. He had a different life planned out. His parents had a different life planned out. They had worked for years to save up money to send him to the University of Magic and Mathematics in Brentos. It was all he ever wanted. To study the new magic alongside the masters.
“Go on and run then, you brat!” Master Reinko shouted at him as he fled into the woods. “The wolves will smell your blood and have you for supper.”
Those words brought Godwin more fear than anything else would for the rest of his life.
That night he heard a howl. Alone and sniveling in the mountains outside of Brentos, Godwin was incapable of even making a fire. Leaning against a tall pine tree with bark like iron, he bled wondering if they would execute him when he was found or if he would simply be eaten by wolves first.
A second howl brought terror.
It was all Ysabelle Wenjen’s fault.
The female Lord of Brentos had sent the orders. Godwin received his black paper with the full moon emblem. He had been summoned to the army. There would be no University. No new magic. Just sharp steel placed in an unwilling hand. He would be off to face the sun warriors and defend his home. But it didn’t just end there.
He had arrived with the other recruits, shaking and terrified. They took him out of line instantly. His silver eyes had marked him for something different. When the generals asked him what his constellation was he struggled to keep his composure. There was a long debate, and then they decided to send him to the hermit warrior.
When the third wolf howled Godwin shakily stood up. His heart raced in his chest and he felt like he might vomit. His sword was in his hand, but what good would a boy with a sword be against a pack of wolves?
They came slowly. Eyes glowered, and in the moonlight he could see the glint of saliva drip from rows of pointed teeth. Godwin almost fainted. Death had come for him. His body would be consumed and his parents would never know what happened. They would think him a deserter forever. Nobody would find him in the wilderness.
The first wolf jumped. Godwin fended it off with his blade, but just barely. He saw the opportunity to sink steel into its soft underbelly. He was too frightened. The beast simply glided past the blade and growled like a demon.
“Please!” Godwin shouted. “Someone! Anyone!” Tears fell openly down his face. “I don’t want to die!”
The wolves drew nearer.
“Fuck you, then! Fuck you wolves! Come and get me you bastards! I’ll kill at least one of you! I swear it!”
A second wolf mouse-pounced in answer as if to mock him. Screaming, Godwin charged the beast. He was fast, and his aim was true. The steel touched the chest of the wolf. The creature shrieked.
He couldn’t find the strength to kill it.
When he felt the metal on flesh, when he felt the disgusting power to pierce the heart of a living creature, his muscles turned to jelly. He couldn’t do it.
Godwin threw his blade down and began to cry.
The wolves grew ever closer. They were wary. This wasn’t their first time hunting man flesh. They knew human prey to be full of tricks. But this human was small. He was weak. His metal claw seemed incapable of penetrating their bodies. And they were so hungry.
The leader of the pack leapt, determined to end it once and for all. Godwin tried to scream but his voice caught in his throat.
The wolf’s head fell from its body. Hot blood splashed across the snow and gushed from the remaining stump like a geyser. Reinko Assini stood in front of Godwin scowling in the moonlight.
The remaining members of the pack attacked as one. Driven by the surprise entrance of the man they hadn’t heard approach and the instinctive battle-lust that fueled their brains at the sight of a dead alpha-male, the animals went berserk.
Reinko swung his sword exactly four times. Exactly four more heads fell into the snow. The heat from their blood touched Godwin’s face. It was a new sensation. The sickening warmth of death.
He vomited on the ground and fainted.
Godwin awoke in Reinko’s cabin. He was in his master’s own bed. The smell of broth filled the room.
Slowly, he sat up. Master Reinko was attending to a bowl cooking in the hearth he had dug into the center of the room.
“I see you’re awake,” Master Reinko said.
“I…I was certain I was going to die.”
“There are no certainties in this world, Godwin. How many times do I have to tell you that?”
“You came looking for me. You saved me.”
“I did no such thing. On my evening walk I heard what I took to be the wailing of a woman cornered by beasts. Imagine my disappointment when all I found was my pathetic runaway pupil. I acted too quickly. I fear I stole an important lesson from you about fighting your own battles.”
Godwin said nothing.
The fire crackled underneath the cast-iron pot while Master Reinko stirred it.
“Why am I here?”
“I believe it would have been a criminal offense to leave you in the wilderness once you had fainted. I simply wanted to avoid trouble with the government.”
“No,” Godwin said. “Why was I sent to you? You’re a great master. I’m no soldier. There were at least a dozen other recruits I arrived with who were better than me, and most of them were nothing special themselves. Why aren’t you spending your time with someone stronger?”
Master Reinko was silent for a time.
“Did you hear me?”
“I have ears, don’t I?” Reinko grumbled. “If you want an honest answer, then why don’t you ask me what you really mean?”
“Why would you take a Star-cursed?”
The question surprised Godwin even as he asked it. But it was the question. It was the question in the recesses of his mind that he didn’t know was there.
“That’s better,” Master Reinko said. “It must have been quite a terrible discovery for your parents. A newborn baby. The universal mark of hope and happiness. And on top of that, silver eyes. They must have thought you destined for greatness in that moment, Godwin. I can imagine them rushing out, searching the skies to see what constellation had formed at the moment of your birth. Perhaps the Mage had graced you with amazing magical ta
lents, or the Wolf had decided to fashion you into an incredible warrior. Which of the many blessings would have fallen to their precious new child?”
“Stop it!” Godwin shouted. “Stop your mockery.”
Master Reinko persisted. “It breaks my heart to imagine what must have gone through their minds when they realized that all of that hope would turn to horror. When their precious baby boy was no Star-blessed, but a freak. An abomination born with the silver eyes of grace with no constellation to grace him. Star-cursed. Forsaken. Destined to live a life of darkness. No magical power and no hope of escape from the curse of the heavens. A heavy day indeed, for any parent.”
“Shut up!” Godwin shouted. He was on his feet. The room suddenly felt very hot.
“Looking to have your nose broken again, boy?” Master Reinko sneered.
“Why are you like this?” Godwin demanded. “Why are you so horrible? What did I ever do to you?”
“Again, you ask all the wrong questions, Godwin. An annoying habit. I hope to beat it out of you before our time together runs out.”
“You don’t answer even when I ask the right questions. Why would you take a Star-cursed?”
Reinko rose, but did not speak.
“You better get some sleep,” he said after a time. “You’re going to have a very rough day tomorrow. I don’t take kindly to runaways.”
* * *
“Godwin!”
The urgency of Yaura’s voice snapped Godwin out of his daydream. “What?” He turned. To his surprise he saw that Donald and Bellweven had their swords out, and Frida looked positively terrified.
“What’s happening?” he asked.
“Were you sleeping on your feet?” Frida asked. “Hurry! We need to run!”
“From what?”
“From that!” She pointed. In the distance in the hills he could see men rushing towards them.
“Who are they?” he asked.
“Trouble,” Donald said. “What more do you need to know? Come!” Sheathing his blade, Donald turned to run with Bellweven following suit.