With the back of my hand, I swiped at my face hard and rubbed at the stains of my stupidity until they were gone. Looking in the mirror, my cheeks, eyes and nose were red. It looked like I had a cold or yeah, like I’d been crying.
Chapter Three
Thinking about how I’d shut my door with a resounding thwack, I hoped my mother didn’t come in for one of her “chats.” We’ve had a lot of them lately. I wasn’t in the mood for any ‘Julie-isms.’ She had her time to share and yet she’d kept me in the dark. And now, everything was like a tangled necklace with no reasonable way to undo it.
My hand went to my throat to finger the puffy heart on the necklace that Luke gave me. I missed him and needed him now.
The silence was suffocating instead of calming. For the past couple of weeks, I’d been a wreck. Flynn was obviously not one hundred percent. Luke and Nina may have saved his sorry life, but they weren’t able to fix him, not completely. He’d been like a baby bird unable to fly out of the nest. A hospital was not an option because how could we explain his injuries? And much to his disdain, he hadn’t been able to “feed” either. Therefore, his healing was slow. After seeing him now, I realized it had been even slower than I’d thought.
His inability to feed gave me more answers to what it was like to be a Cambion. I’d learned that Incubi had an ability that Succubi did not. And poor Flynn had to resort to those other means to survive. Breaking headline news: an Incubus was able to step into the dreams of others and feed through that tether. It was something I should have known that I didn’t. And Flynn wasn’t a happy camper about that option. Based on his mood today, he was taking out some of his frustrations on me. David wore his “father pants” and wasn’t giving in to Flynn for once. He wouldn’t let him out of the house because of the demon hunter problem. He feared that in Flynn’s weakened state he wouldn’t survive a surprise attack.
Missing school and not having sex were making the resident bad boy more than grumpy. Okay, maybe not the former but certainly the latter—not being able to screw everything that walked. I felt like an idiot feeling sorry for him. And I may have blown the stupid SAT test for the licentious bastard.
Face planting on my pillow, I screamed my frustrations about my life, my decisions and my circumstance. The muffled expletives didn’t help me feel any better. I was confused about everything. If only I could forget. And why did I care? Flynn was right about another thing: Luke. I loved Luke with all my heart and he didn’t deserve to share my heart with someone else. So why couldn’t I expunge Flynn, the idiot from my head?
My phone, on vibrate, skimmed across my nightstand like it was alive. I heard it tip over the edge and fall onto the floor where it continued to buzz in that weird insect like way. It stopped but I didn’t move. My curiosity wasn’t enough to get me to pick up my phone. I figured anyone important enough could get me. They would know Flynn or my mom’s number. Otherwise, it could wait.
My resolve crumpled when I thought of Maggie. She’d been nothing but a great a friend and I’d barely passed in that area lately. I rolled and bungee tossed myself without a cord off the side of the bed. I landed on my butt, my body tucked in itself in a way that was Olympic worthy. My fingers combed through the carpet at a crawls pace to reach the hateful device. Just when my fingers curled around it, it whistled in my hand. I dropped it, startled by the message alert.
Shaking my head, I gathered my wits. I was just stretching to reach it when a pair of feet appeared before me. My gaze traveled from the worn black combat boots, to legs that looked strong, to a skirt. I nearly shook my head, because the hairy legs didn’t look feminine. So I puzzled past the pleated skirt that was low on this guy’s waist, to a white shirt plastered to a well-toned muscled chest. Then I looked at his face. Yes, the face and I knew that guy who wore the smirk. Running a hand through his thick black hair, he grinned at me knowing I’d appreciate the view. A couple of steps forward and I’d been able to look up his skirt. Or was that called kilt?
“Stop drooling,” he said. His Scottish brogue came through loud and clear. He’d made sure of that.
“In your dreams,” I scoffed, leaning back on my bed. My neck was cranked back to look up at him. He stood with legs slightly spread, arms folded, and muscles tense. I’m no floozy, but it was really hard not to notice just how well-made he was. Satan’s second in command didn’t create an ugly boy. No, he gifted Sebastian with a dollop of sugar, gobs of spice, and all things that made him really nice to look at.
The corner of his mouth tilted up. “Your eyes say an all too different tune.”
I covered my eyes and mentally checked to ensure that the demon that lived within me hadn’t taken control. I was still in control though. He laughed as if he knew what I was thinking. “Just go,” I spat, annoyed with myself and all the darn boys around me. I felt like a fool, wondering if my human hormones were on overdrive.
My phone decided to get in on the conversation and buzzed, as though the tension between Sebastian and I had caused it to crackle. I spotted it dead center under the skirt that created the ring of shadow that surrounded it. Lifting a brow as if to challenge me, I moved forward bending my body to reach for the phone. Once it was in hand, Sebastian said, “Blue looks good on you.”
That is when I felt the air on my back. My shirt had ridden up to reveal my blue underwear as I leaned forward towards Sebastian to reach my phone with my chest pressed to the floor. Groaning, I turned my head up to spear him with my laser beam eyes, and instead I got a view up the skirt. And I found out Sebastian was a ‘true Scotsman’. Sitting up quickly at my faux pas, my head somehow caught the hem of the skirt and I was locked for a second like a ghost in plaid between his legs.
Reaching up with my eyes closed, I snatched the offending fabric from the back of my head, and pushed back to get to my feet. Chuckling, Sebastian got a thrill out of my blushing cheeks. His eyes took in the only material that covered me.
“Ye bonnie lass,” he grinned. “You could have looked.”
Groaning, I pointed. “Get out of my room.”
“Aye, you should know Luke wanted me to bring you to him.” His words thick with brogue stilled me. Luke needed me. I needed to see him. Somehow, I felt like my hormones and my demon were all out of whack because I didn’t get to see a lot of him these days. Shaking his head, he said, “You should have left him well enough alone. Now—” He didn’t have to finish. I knew. I’d damned Luke.
Stepping into my comfort zone, he sniffed the air and said, “Flynn.” I stepped back, maybe out of guilt. I wasn’t sure. But I didn’t like his tone. His fathomless blue eyes settled on my like a missile guidance system. The cold steel stare was empty of anything good. “It’s just who you are. What do ye call it? Chemistry. But not in a lover’s way. Maybe it’s biology. Aye, that’s it. It will never work.”
“What are you talking about?” I said trying to step aside, but was pushed back to sit on my bed. He hadn’t given an inch to me since he showed up. I pulled down on my shirt, trying to hide my thighs and resisted the urge to look at him head on, as his crotch was all but in my face.
Unable to resist the pull, I again looked up to him like a small child, head craned back. “He likes who he is, Kayla. He’s okay being an incubus. You don’t want to be a succubus. He will never stop taking his willing prey. You, however, are a contradiction in your purity for what you are.” By the end his words lost his heavy accent. He was back to speaking more American English with only the barest hint of Scottish accent.
“What am I?” I said, through gritted teeth. And honestly, I wanted to know. He was right. I was a virgin succubus, an oxymoron, because I didn’t need to feed to survive. So what the hell was I?
He opened his mouth. Then he seemed to stop himself. When he barked a laugh, I raised my arms and pushed at his thighs seeking relief from his impressive presence. Like a boulder, he didn’t budge.
Instead, his hands captured my wrist and tumbled us on the bed. My phone had fallen fro
m my grasp, landing softly on the bed. His mouth was in between my mouth and my ear. His skirt, kilt, whatever you want to call it, had ridden up.
Wiggling might not have been the best idea, however, I needed out from under him. “When will you stop fighting me? If you actually thought things through, you would see that I’ve been the one keeping you alive. Me. And my patience is wearing thin. I have not pressed you like the others. I haven’t called your demon and you know she responds to me. Yet, I’ve never taken advantage. And still you look at me this way.”
Rolling my head to the side, I tried to hide my embarrassment from the truth in his words. “I don’t know what you want from me.” Okay, maybe that was a partial lie, but it felt like the right thing to say. “Just take me to Luke,” I said weakly, knowing he held all the advantage.
Using his demon powers beyond my understanding, we were suddenly standing, his arms securely around me. The disorientation of being sucked out of one existence and into another was upon me. When the world wind of color coalesced, I was standing in a library with nothing but my skivvies to cover me.
Chapter Four
Once my eyes landed on the four chairs surrounding the middle of the room, it was easy to know where I was. The Hamptons, in Luke’s father’s library. It only took an eighty degree turn to find him. His blond curls hung in his face while he focused on the book in his hand. He hadn’t yet noticed we were here.
Stepping out of Sebastian’s embrace caused the rustling of fabric to shatter the total silence in the room. Those gorgeous island blues looked up and landed on me with a splash. I wanted to run to him, I’d missed him so much. My eyes were filled with all the emotions I’d felt for the day.
Like a groupie, I took one step before I pounced on him. Leaping, I wrapped myself around him in a web of my love. My legs hook around his waist and he managed to stay standing while I buried my face in the crook of his neck. If today hadn’t shown me anything, it had shown me where my loyalties should lie.
“I missed you,” I said. You would have thought it had been years since I’d seen him. It wasn’t. However, he wasn’t around much and was always preoccupied of late.
Kissing my temple through the curtain of my hair, he said, “I’ve missed you too.”
Slowly, I untangled myself from him. Gently, he let me stand on my own while helping me keep my balance. When I turned, Sebastian was gone. Grateful, I didn’t comment about his departure. “You wanted to see me?” I said and looked back up at him.
“Always,” he said and made me smile. Just when I thought he would launch into the explanation of why he had me brought here, he did something else. Capturing my lips, he kissed me with all the passion that said he still in fact loved me even though his reason for being here had all to do with me condemning him to damnation. And yet his lips weren’t the first I had kissed today. I didn’t deserve him. I knew it and was waiting for him to figure it out.
“I found something,” he said, holding out his hand. I took it and he led me over to the four chairs. I sat in one, cross-legged forgetting I was only wearing a tee shirt.
He sat next to me in another of the big high back leather chairs. I uncurled myself and moved to sit on his lap. Slightly shocked, he adjusted himself so I could get comfortable. I missed being close to him. I had been so used to sleeping with him at night I was having a hard time doing so without him. As selfish as it was, I needed to be close to him. I needed the reminder of him pressed close to me. I needed to push all thoughts other than him, rather either of them, out of my mind and focus on Luke.
“I want to show you something,” he said, coaxing me out of curling into him like a baby. He was warm and still smelled like summer, a clean breeze off the sea untainted by pollution, the same color of his eyes.
Turning so half my back was on his chest and the other in the hook of his arm, my underwear clad bottom made contact with his lift off. For just a second, I felt powerful. Three guys and each time, something in my feminine wiles had set them off. Was it me or would it be like that for any girl, I wondered? His arm moved downward as he gripped my waist with a groan. “Mercy, you’re making things very hard to concentrate.”
A giggle escaped. I hadn’t meant it, but there it was. Moving around, I straddled him and kissed his mouth with all the pent up energy that was in me. In the distance, I heard a thud and knew the book he’d held bit the dust. Both his hands were on my waist and dipped under my tee shirt. His thumbs gently kneaded my bare flesh. Then, his fingers began to make their way up my back. A little past midway, his hands stilled. Cursing, he said, “No bra.”
My hovering lips curled into a smile. “No bra.”
Like a curtain after the final act, his eyes slid shut. “You realize we are alone.” After I nodded my agreement, he said, “We should stop before there isn’t any stopping.”
“I don’t want to,” I confessed. The time had come and I was so done with my virginity. It was like the bane of my existence. Added to that, Flynn’s near death experience only reminded me of how close to death we all were. I could die at any time with all the attempts being made on life in the past couple of months. And worse, Luke could die.
There were a few things I knew for sure. One was I wanted Luke to be my first. I truly loved him with all my heart. There was no denial of that. The other boy, the lost one, had my feelings muddled. Could one person love two boys? I wasn’t clear. I was sure that Luke would accept the one gift I had to offer like it was more precious than anything with the exception of my life. He would treasure that gift and treat it with care. Flynn had probably popped more cherries than I had fingers. And Sebastian, as much as he was right about a lot of what he said, I didn’t love him. I was very certain of that. He’d been a good friend, but that was it. And Paul, there might have been a time where I thought he could be the one. That time had long passed.
Hands filled with strength and love stopped caressing me. Falling away like stones on a mountain, he pulled on the sides of the shirt and released. “Were you dressed when Sebastian came to get you?”
The menace in his voice gave me pause. I nodded furiously and watched his eyes cloud over with a hurricane of dark emotions. I felt my Luke slipping away and the one I had created emerge. His hand drifted up between my breasts without touching. He pinched the fabric, pulling a bit again and released. “Why are you only half dressed? It’s the middle of the day.” The accusation hurt. Before I could speak, he asked, “Where was Flynn?”
Scrambling off his lap, I stumbled to my feet. “In his room, I guess,” I said, trying to hold back my own anger. In my head, I repeated this isn’t my Luke several times, trying to calm down.
Standing, he towered over me looking very pissed off. “You haven’t answered me. Why weren’t you dressed?”
“I was sleeping, okay!” I yelled. Then in words meant to hurt, I said, “I haven’t been sleeping well without you.”
The pinched expression he held began to fade away. The darkness within him began to recede. Bending over, he picked up the book. When his eye met mine again, they were no longer the churning waters of an ocean brewing a storm.
He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry Mercy. Sometime I can’t help it. I love you so much it hurts.” His fingers pushed my hair behind my ear. His thumbs caressed my mouth. His touch sent shivers through me.
“I love you too.”
Nodding, he picked up the book from the floor. Then he flipped furiously to get to a page. As if the past few moments hadn’t happened, he pointed, “See here.” What I saw was a bunch of gibberish. He watched me and said, “You probably don’t read Latin.” I shook my head. “I’ve been looking through books about Succubi.” He looked back at the book, but not before I caught the slight guilt in his eyes. The cure for the damnation I’d bestowed on him would obviously be in books about my species. “And I came across this.” Pointing again, I looked because he wanted me to.
“It talks about someone who should have been born without a soul stopping
something like the apocalypse,” he said, eyes focused on the book in front of him.
Stumbling back, it felt like his words shoved me. “What does it say exactly?” Only holding myself up with the possibility of truth and answers, I waited.
“Well, it translates something like this,” he began.
The damned shall begot the damned.
And so it will come to pass with a
soul not it’s own and will be protected
by heaven and hell alike
Hell’s vehicle shall prove itself worthy
of the gift of a soul through an act
so selfless as it will call unto the heavens
And so it will be born to save all
from rivers of demons flowing like water
through the street of the earth
spreading corruption and death to all
stopping prophesied darkness upon the earth.
Not totally sure of the entire meaning, I understood enough. “That’s not me,” I denied. “It can’t be.”
Luke looked at me through a veil of pity so apparent it pissed me off. Shoving at him, my frustration poured through my limbs like concrete. Yet he was unmoved. What was it with these rock solid boys? Tossing the book to the reading table, he took my hands and wrapped me in his heartfelt embrace. “Mercy, I know it’s a lot to bear. I have my own cross.”
Closing my eyes, I wasn’t sure of what he meant. All I knew was that I wasn’t worthy of such things. I’d made such a mess of my own life. How in the world could I possibly stop the apocalypse? I wasn’t that girl. “It’s not me.”
“You can’t deny the facts,” he started. Pushing him, I turned away with no destination in mind. I just needed to get away from his truths. “I tried that and look where it got me.”
Swiveling around like I got slapped, I saw the pain on his face. “You’re right. I’m poison. Look what I did to you. You deserve so much better than me. Sebastian is right. I should let you go.”
Angel Of Mercy (Cambions #3) Page 2